Forgiveness…
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Mahatma Gandhi.
We all know that to err is human but to forgive, divine. Forgiveness is what is needed for a happy living. It is either
that we need to forgive or be forgiven. Every body needs forgiveness to live a happy life on this planet. When we forgive, it brings healing to us. I remember when I was younger, kids still say it innocently anyway. once a child is hurt, what you hear is “I will never forgive you for this.”
that we need to forgive or be forgiven. Every body needs forgiveness to live a happy life on this planet. When we forgive, it brings healing to us. I remember when I was younger, kids still say it innocently anyway. once a child is hurt, what you hear is “I will never forgive you for this.”
I never heard my kids say this until my 9 year old came back from school one day, that is about three years ago, and while they played on the floor, her younger sister hurt her or something, and then I heard her go… ” I will never forgive you for this.” That was the first time I heard this in my house. I wanted to just ignore her,
after all they are kids, but on second thought, had to intervene, her younger ones sisters may just copy and start saying that, at any little provocation.
After talking with her, I understood that she heard it at school when a classmate told her teacher that she will never forgive her for changing her sitting position.
Anyway, after we spoke about that I never heard it in the house again. But I know that as a child I said that a couple times.
To forgive is to stop feeling angry with yourself or someone who has hurt or harm you. It is a necessity. Yes. Imagine not forgiving yourself for a mistake you made long ago, that is like not giving yourself the permission and freedom to move on. Not forgiving yourself cannot change anything, it can only put you in an unhappy and miserable situation. Refusal to forgive others still keeps you the unforgiving, in pain and misery. The un forgiven may not know that you still bear a grudge and will just continue to live life and be happy. Both ways, the one who refuses to forgive is the the loser. whether you refuse to forgive yourself or another, you suffer the consequences for unforgiveness. I know that cancer and tumors can grow as a result of unforgiveness, ones health can begin to fail. Unforgiveness can lead to death. it is like just holding someone captive in your heart, like not giving your heart and mind enough space to relish and enjoy life.
The heart skips a beat every time you see that man or woman, and for how long do you think that heart will continue to be healthy, if you have to see that person everyday, weekly or monthly.
Let us say you bear a grudge against a neighbor colleague or even a friend, you are opportuned to see him once every month. This means that in a year, your heart will have to skip beats for 12 good times. Multiply that by the number of years you may still have to see or bump into the victim. in the long run, the heart gets sick, so may we not keep believing that cholesterol and lack of exercise are the only causes of heart diseases.
Unforgiveness makes you sick while your offender remains healthy, that is why I say that the offended becomes the loser in this case unless she forgives.
I read a book on how to prevent heart diseases, that day my eyes opened to the fact that unforgiveness is a killer. It kills emotionally, psychologically and in the long run, it shortens your life.
For me to say that I will never forgive anyone is to say that I am ready for heart diseases, unhappiness wrinkles,uncontrollable aging and physical death. NO , I am not. I will rather forgive and soar in my freedom.
It can be very difficult to forgive sometimes, but just remember that “nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it.”
There is a way you get hurt and the pain is like a sharp cut in your heart. The addition of unforgiveness to that sharp pain is signing a warrant for your death you know.
No matter what, let us try to forgive, it does not come automatically, it may not just happen in one day, it may take some time for the pain to reduce or heal completely, bu,t you should keep telling ourselves that “we just have to let go for our own, good and not theirs.”
When the hurt feels terrible and you do not know how to let go, just pray about it, ask for the courage and strength, and keep in mind that with God, “nothing shall be impossible” even forgiveness.
On the other hand, talking about forgetting. Hmmm! I am a very forgetful woman. It is so bad that sometimes I cannot avoid some kind of embarrassment. I meet somebody once, and the next time, it just looks familiar to me but I can’t place where we met and the I begin to ask myself ” where did I see this face? this person looks familiar, where could I have known him/her?” In three or more occasions, I got lost driving on routes that I have passed once. You can imagine!
What I forget the most is names. Seriously. Sometimes I start struggling to remember the name before the person gets close, so that I do not look snobbish or stupid. I remember many times the girls just make me hide some things in the house, when I need those things and cannot remember where I hid them, I end up pleading with them to help me find. What they do is to really really laugh at me, before confessing that they already know where I hid whatever, but won’t give me the pleasure of finding my hidden items for me.
With this level of forgetfulness, I need to remember the wrongs done to me, else, I can as well forget that someone cheated me in a business deal, and then end up doing business with that same person and getting cheated again and again. I must forgive, but pleaaaaase, do not ask me to forget because remembering will save me from falling into the same pit again and again.
I will like to always remember both the good and the naughty things that happen to me, after all I am human and not some kind of creature. The human brain is for remembering too, so, I do not see how I can record and store only the good happenings and delete the bad incidents. It is very easy to check the boxes on a computer and command it to delete unwanted items. Where do you check and click on the brain to enable it delete all the wrongs done to it, and then preserve all the rights.
Remembering is not the same as revenge. It will only save me from becoming a victim a second time. Imagine that you are swindled, forgetting that a particular friend did that to you will make you become their victim again and the cycle will just continue.
I will forgive, that means trying to forget the pain, but not the incident.