Good evening Aunty Eya, I want to ask for advise on the blog but am not a good writer. I just found this story on bossip and there a so many similar things about my case, any advise given by blog visitors will help me too but I Kw you might not post it because I read a comment last week where you warned a poster that she or he copied a story and shouldn’t do that again. I am not a copier and not a good writer too. Please help me, pity me by posting this story. I need advise please Aunty Eya. I am 22 years old with a one year old son with a man, or should I say boy, who’s betrayed me in every way.
We’ve been neighbors all our lives, even had sleepovers in my house when we were kids. We didn’t speak to each other besides a “Hi,” and head nod for years because our mothers HATED each other. But, more than 2 years ago, because of my brothers, we started to hang out with each other. I was in another relationship at the time with someone who was cheating on me, so I cheated on him. But, I know now
that leaving would have been better. I cheated on him with my now baby father and he wanted more, and so did I after messing around for about 6 months.
We got into a relationship and I got pregnant immediately. I was COMPLETELY against abortions so I decided to keep him. Not soon after I found out I was pregnant, he told me that he cheated on me with his first baby mother. I was 3 months pregnant coming out of the appointment where I had just heard my son’s heartbeat for the first time. I screamed, I cried, and I stayed with him. But, the cheating never stopped.
Fast forward to the day I’m in labor. He’s next to me breaking up with me at the same time I’m in the hospital. It was already a hard pregnancy. I had high blood pressure and had to have an emergency C-section, and I had to listen to him break up with me. Throughout my whole pregnancy he questioned if my baby was his. But, I felt as if it was my fault because I had bad judgment and cheated on my ex with him, so I knew he’d never fully trust me, especially because of the saying, “You lose them how you get them.”
When my son was born he was a spitting image of his father, I mean identical. I didn’t stop crying until he heard his voice. I was in the recovery room for a day, and I was in the hospital for 3 days following. He came to see us everyday afterwards and decided he wanted to be with me. I was happy because I was so in love with him. But, the whole time I was there he was writing ONE of the girls he cheated on me with (not his first baby mother), but I didn’t find out until months later doing my “FBI investigations.” He admitted to everything I saw, and I mean there was no way to deny it. He apologized and once again I forgave him.
A week after giving birth I had to go back in for emergency surgery because I almost died due to an infection during child birth. He stayed with my son the whole 3 weeks I was in there, and he came to see me every day. I even gave him oral sex in the hospital trying to make sure he was satisfied while I was away, but it was never enough. He still found some ways to hurt me.
Fast forward 3 months, and I’m home and he goes out and comes back with a ring and proposes. I accepted because even after everything I was still in love with him because when we were good I WAS SO HAPPY. Fast forward again, a year later we aren’t engaged anymore due to the fights. Yes, did I mention he hit me? I mean I hit back, but I NEVER thought I’d be in a relationship like that, but I stayed. We break up because of all the emotional abuse and I kick him out of my parent’s house because he made fun of the fact that I was molested at 14 years old. He left and got into a relationship with a girl that MY BROTHER introduced him to. Yes, my blood brother. He’s still coming to my house telling me how wrong I am, not knowing I found out about his little relationship. So, when he leaves I packed all his things, took them to his mother’s house (who lives in my building) and cried on her shoulder. She tried to tell me her son isn’t that stupid to jeopardize our relationship because I’m the girl who bailed him out of jail when I was 5 months pregnant. I made sure he was always at his court dates and went to his probation on time. I took care of him and he’s not that stupid. But, he was.
So, when he found out that I knew, he cut ties with her, but didn’t want to come back home even though for some reason I begged him to. He begged me to quit the job I had so that he can be a man and provide for us. I ended up getting fired and now I’m single, jobless, and I have no way to support my son besides him and my mother while I’m going back to school. He wants us to try again. I still love him through everything and I don’t know if it’s because I’m young and “in love,” or just stupid. But, should I give him one more chance to prove that he’s changing?
It was not easy reading through this post… I can tell you straight forward that you, and your boyfriend are heading for a disaster! You need to build your self esteem and work on establishing a future. You have no clue on the meaning of love… abi u think love is to enjoy sleeping with a man and being satisfied in bed?
I see immaturity in the games you are playing. Please, think through what you want to do with your future and start all over again. If not, you will end up being a toy in the hands of men…
Yh right it's either you are utterly stupid or you are clueless.I really understand your plight buh mehn truth be told this isn't the way things are done.First of all,u don't keep dropping for any man u come in contact with thinking they gonna put that into consideration.you were in love for all the wrong reasons.This guy keeps proposing and taking back his ring each time he feels his ok with it and you keep hoping upon hopeless hope that one day he's gonna get tired of collecting it back.He keeps convincing himself you can't do without and you also believe that too.it's not about u and ur boyfriend anymore.There is a child involved now and I know you don't want him to grow up in that kind of environment.No matter how u see it,domestic violence causes more harm than bruises.Ur destiny is not tied to that guy and u are still young to achieve anything you want in life.You don't go running after things that ain't supposed to be.Real Love is worth fighting for buh you shldn't be d only one fighting.ok bye
I agree with @Johnson n anonymous. Go back to school. Strt all over again please
Nonsence what type of relationship is this? Please poster don't accept him back. Face your school or business biko. You are too young for this kind of drama