Dear Aunt Eya
How are you? Although I’m not married yet, there are so many things I’ve learnt not just from you but also from the comments.
Please I wanna remain anonymous when you post this on your blog. My challenge is this. I’ve been single for almost a decade. I’m very ripe for marriage but I have no man. Trust me when
I say I’m very very good looking, down to earth, humble, respectful, everything a man would wish for in his woman.
Most people wonder why I’m still single at my age. Truth is I’m not much of an outgoing person so I really don’t get to meet guys. My weekday is all about work, my weekend, I’m always indoors. Like the saying goes, if you want change, you have to do things differently. This year, I consciously want to position myself to be found by that one who’s been searching for me. I have so much love, care, fun etc to give my man.
Now my question is this? Where can one hang out so as to be in a position to meet eligible bachelors? I’m not talking about clubs? Since I don’t have so many friends, I’d have to be hanging out alone. I’ve tried the cinemas but so far, not a good idea coz once the movie is over, everyone goes their way. I look forward to positive comments that will help me in my quest.
I hope Eya will permit me, below are some links you can check out. Places include Church, gym, School Alumni meetings, bookstores, etc.
Where to Meet Potential Dates in the Morning
More Ways Of Meeting New Poeple
Wherever you are, one tip is to keep your eyes open for eligible men, and a smile on your face. You'll be surprised how much a smile helps in making you look approachable.
All the best.
Church, weddings, shows, birthday parties, fellowships, friend's houses, and Facebook. Yes o, Facebook is risky but in recent years I can name like 5 couples who met on Facebook and are happily married. Where you meet doesn't matter much. It's your compatibility that does. But pls in all, make sure you dnt send the I-am-desperate signal. Just enjoy yourself.
I can relate with your post.I'll share some tips which have helped me along the way. You have recognised that you need to do things differently so that is a great start!
Firstly, you need to build and utilise your current social capital i.e your current network of friends,colleagues,family members etc. I know you mentioned that you do not have many friends but I'm sure you have at least ONE friend that you can hang out with.If not, how about hanging out with your sister/brother, female/male cousins that are your age mates. At least you trust and will be comfortable around these people. Also you can ask them to bring along a friend(s) when you hang out. This way, you are increasing your chances of meeting new people.Places where you could hang out with your network include:
Nice and reputable bars/lounges in your city: This could be a standalone bar/lounge or maybe located in a restaurant or hotel. Its a more relaxed atmosphere in comparison to a club (making it easier for guys to approach you) and you can mingle over drinks whilst sitting,standing or dancing. Order a non-alcoholic drink if you don't drink. Alot of working class eligible men hang out in bars/lounges.
Beach parties, weddings,conferences (either work related or non-work related): Accompany a friend/family member to these events or attend some of your work related functions with your colleagues.
What are your interests? If you enjoy sports, find somewhere where you can participate in your preferred sport or join gym. If you love learning languages, join a weekend language course.If you love religious activities, why not join a team e.g. in church?. This way you are doing what you love and also making new friends, meeting people with similar interests or even eligible men. This will also keep you busy and prevent you from spending soo much time indoors over the weekend.
Dont be afraid to let your trusted friend(s)or family members know that you are ready to date and meet eligible.Hook ups work! Keep an open mind when you go out,have fun,loosen up,be approachable, smile and look good!All the best.
Become an usher in church. Smile often.participate in activities whether at work or in church. KEep an open mind.I mean don't be too selective when a guy approaches you.it could be his friend or his cousin you may end up with,or him sef! Just keep being your charming self.
Thank you all for your comments. Its been very helpful
Not sure how old this post is but I came across it randomly…I think what you need or rather we…all the singles is a girly hangout and build a friendship from there…..no homo….you can't go hanging out all by urself
This I believe is the most adequate answer. Truth is I ll describe myself exactly as you have. It's so that the friends I have who are still in Lagos are either engaged or married. I love them to pieces but being that I'm presently single, I know from experience too that having fellow like minded singles as a group or friends is the easier way to put myself out there again. Instead of just driving back home stuck in traffic at the end of work.
So if you're on this trail and with the king assistance and permission of the blogger are up to some girl hanging outs weekday or weekends to boost those chances as trust me last minute solo hangout for an introvert may sound discouraging. LET IRON SHAPEN IRON. Let's form a WhatsApp group. My no is 08086664603, get to know each other as much as possible via Facebook, place of work/business etc etc. Then motivate and mobilize each other for amazing hangouts! MY ONE CENT ADVICE.LOLS! ALMOST AN EPISTLE LONG. .
This I believe is the most adequate answer. Truth is I ll describe myself exactly as you have. It's so that the friends I have who are still in Lagos are either engaged or married. I love them to pieces but being that I'm presently single, I know from experience too that having fellow like minded singles as a group or friends is the easier way to put myself out there again. Instead of just driving back home stuck in traffic at the end of work.
So if you're on this trail and with the king assistance and permission of the blogger are up to some girl hanging outs weekday or weekends to boost those chances as trust me last minute solo hangout for an introvert may sound discouraging. LET IRON SHAPEN IRON. Let's form a WhatsApp group. My no is 08086664603, get to know each other as much as possible via Facebook, place of work/business etc etc. Then motivate and mobilize each other for amazing hangouts! MY ONE CENT ADVICE.LOLS! ALMOST AN EPISTLE LONG. .
Don't forget look Good Alwaz even in ur house pls Anitime Make Sure U look ur best, Good luck. Anti EYA Av been sharing Dis blog on ma facebook for days now even twitter, U ve done so much for me without kwning, intead of reading stupid comment on dos blogs I jejely stay here N learn how to cook, I envy ur kids I swear. I love U #muah#. Tokunbo.
It would appear there we are plenty,lol. Beautiful, hardworking,fun loving singles and everyone around you can't fathom how you're single. Weekday is all work and some weekends too esp if you have a side hustle.We can come together, motivate each other with weekends/afterwork hangouts. Mayb even form a WhatsApp group and always put up outings to break workaholicsm and reserved nature. If we are interested in a group send me an email on: boutiquerevolution13@gmail.com. then we should check each other out on facebook. Cos solo hangouts may not be all that at times
Thank you Myne
Does anyone have any eligible bachelor for me? *wink wink*
Hmmm. Sometimes, it's when you stop looking that you get what you want. What worked for me is a long story. After heartbreak after heartbreak, I decided to have fun and not over-think. I actually decided marriage wasn't for me. That took the pressure off and somehow made me that much more attractive to men. So many come and I kept all at arm's length. I narrowed it down to 1 and was praying for guidance and for God to show me he's mine. Out of the blue, my mom's friend called and begged to see me. I avoided her for weeks. She even came to my state just to see me and I hid from the house till she left. She finally called my mum's phone and asked her to give me. She begged me to talk to her daughter's former classmate because she had prayed for over a month about it and believed he's my husband. Begged me to just talk to him and make a friend. We spoke on a Thursday, agreed to meet on a Friday, started dating 2 weeks later, were engaged 3 and a half months after that Friday and got married 11 months to that same Friday. Turns out we grew up within minutes of each other, went to the same primary school and have so many mutual friends but never met. If we had met, we'd definitely have dated but up until the month before, even he wasn't ready and was a serial monogamist lol. He says that he had an epiphany in that February and just decided he was done with all that. Our meeting was reserved for a time when both of us were physically, mentally, financially and spiritually ready for marriage. Imagine me at 30, younger sister married with children. The pressure from my mother and family was intense but I convinced myself that what is mine would come to me. If I was destined to marry, God should bring my husband to me. I made that my prayer point in terms of relationships. His parents prayed about us, my mum prayed, imams prayed, my darling adopted mother who made it all possible prayed, and even my late father appeared in a dream to my mum choosing him. Imagine o. The coconut headed boy I remember from primary school days in KD for being in the hallbook has become my joy lol. Pray dear that whatever is yours should find its way to you without stress. Your husband wherever he is should look till he finds you and when he does, God should guide him every step of the way so that he recognises the jewel he has been blessed with. It also helped that I had awesome friends around me who reassured me. 2 of them in particular, wonderful gentlemen who are now married as well, kept telling me that I am an asset to any man lucky enough to have me and it's not my fault if said man cannot appreciate his luck. They both urged me to decide with my head and not my heart.
This post is quite old- I know, but I just had to respond in the hope that the conversation is still alive and will stay alive. It is not easy for females growing up in a country where our belief systems doesn't give much room for freedom of self. I am in the same situation. I have no friends, most are married as well. I am more of a loner even though I know or would like to believe that I am full of fun. I turned 31 this year and currently not in any relationship. More challenging to my current situation is the fact that I don't live in Nigeria-left in 2014. I would really want to marry a Nigerian man. I am well groomed, easy going however very assertive. I am quite intelligent as well and unfortunately most men I met back in Nigeria couldn't stand that. I know that I am very respectful but unfortunately our cultural disposition cause a misinterpretation and misconception of confidence as arrogance. Hence my kind is viewed as rude and often prejudged. It is even more difficult with my looks. I am quite a stunner and looks really young. One would think that would have worked to my advantage. Unfortunately, most men always wanted carnal knowledge of me first- that which irked me so much that I began to question God. The fact that I worked with a bank in ABUJA didn't make it any easier. My last relationship ended in 2013, in fact the guy once told me that I have a "come fuck me look" the day I blurted out my frustration with men and their sexual advances. He said that most men would see me as every man's woman- "you know you are pretty naa and you work in the bank. haaa all these men no go gree u". That day my spirit went numb! I have just not been lucky to meet men who reason in a more civilized manner. I am thinking of moving back to Nigeria after Grad school but then again, I have a life to build and a dream to actualize. Perhaps, I should stop worrying and continue in prayers. I leave it all to GOD. What I need now are single females that are free minded and really mature in their mental disposition as friends.
This post is quite old- I know, but I just had to respond in the hope that the conversation is still alive and will stay alive. It is not easy for females growing up in a country where our belief systems doesn't give much room for freedom of self. I am in the same situation. I have no friends, most are married as well. I am more of a loner even though I know or would like to believe that I am full of fun. I turned 31 this year and currently not in any relationship. More challenging to my current situation is the fact that I don't live in Nigeria-left in 2014. I would really want to marry a Nigerian man. I am well groomed, easy going however very assertive. I am quite intelligent as well and unfortunately most men I met back in Nigeria couldn't stand that. I know that I am very respectful but unfortunately our cultural disposition cause a misinterpretation and misconception of confidence as arrogance. Hence my kind is viewed as rude and often prejudged. It is even more difficult with my looks. I am quite a stunner and looks really young. One would think that would have worked to my advantage. Unfortunately, most men always wanted carnal knowledge of me first- that which irked me so much that I began to question God. The fact that I worked with a bank in ABUJA didn't make it any easier. My last relationship ended in 2013, in fact the guy once told me that I have a "come fuck me look" the day I blurted out my frustration with men and their sexual advances. He said that most men would see me as every man's woman- "you know you are pretty naa and you work in the bank. haaa all these men no go gree u". That day my spirit went numb! I have just not been lucky to meet men who reason in a more civilized manner. I am thinking of moving back to Nigeria after Grad school but then again, I have a life to build and a dream to actualize. Perhaps, I should stop worrying and continue in prayers. I leave it all to GOD. What I need now are single females that are free minded and really mature in their mental disposition as friends.
This post is quite old- I know, but I just had to respond in the hope that the conversation is still alive and will stay alive. It is not easy for females growing up in a country where our belief systems doesn't give much room for freedom of self. I am in the same situation. I have no friends, most are married as well. I am more of a loner even though I know or would like to believe that I am full of fun. I turned 31 this year and currently not in any relationship. More challenging to my current situation is the fact that I don't live in Nigeria-left in 2014. I would really want to marry a Nigerian man. I am well groomed, easy going however very assertive. I am quite intelligent as well and unfortunately most men I met back in Nigeria couldn't stand that. I know that I am very respectful but unfortunately our cultural disposition cause a misinterpretation and misconception of confidence as arrogance. Hence my kind is viewed as rude and often prejudged. It is even more difficult with my looks. I am quite a stunner and looks really young. One would think that would have worked to my advantage. Unfortunately, most men always wanted carnal knowledge of me first- that which irked me so much that I began to question God. The fact that I worked with a bank in ABUJA didn't make it any easier. My last relationship ended in 2013, in fact the guy once told me that I have a "come fuck me look" the day I blurted out my frustration with men and their sexual advances. He said that most men would see me as every man's woman- "you know you are pretty naa and you work in the bank. haaa all these men no go gree u". That day my spirit went numb! I have just not been lucky to meet men who reason in a more civilized manner. I am thinking of moving back to Nigeria after Grad school but then again, I have a life to build and a dream to actualize. Perhaps, I should stop worrying and continue in prayers. I leave it all to GOD. What I need now are single females that are free minded and really mature in their mental disposition as friends.
Hi,
I'm also a loner like you. Always very busy on week days and stay in door all weekend. Need female friends to hang out with and to motivate each other.
It would appear there we are plenty,lol. Beautiful, hardworking,fun loving singles and everyone around you can't fathom how you're single. Weekday is all work and some weekends too esp if you have a side hustle.We can come together, motivate each other with weekends/afterwork hangouts. Mayb even form a WhatsApp group and always put up outings to break workaholicsm and reserved nature. If we are interested in a group send me an email on: boutiquerevolution13@gmail.com. then we should check each other out on facebook. Cos solo hangouts may not be all that at times
My comment long o. No paragraphs too. So sorry.
I should also add that I was a lot like you. I was painfully shy. Just 2 friends here in Nigeria after moving back, don't like weddings, parties, clubs etc. And I was employed by my dad doing back office work so I rarely got to meet anyone outside. It wasn't until he passed away that I was forced to interact with clients. That really opened me up and helped show me how to converse wth male clients with no strings attached.
I was like you too. My NYSC friends will always call to ask if d bells will ring soon cos they saw me as a virtuous woman. but my dear,for where?mind u,am 34 now.They encouraged e to hang out with friends (wey i no even get sef,take myself out once in a while,go for weddings and other social gatherings.But u knw what?instead i will dedicate my weekends to my home,especially my room……after working for 5 whole days.I attended few occasions without thinking of who to meet along d line.My 2 younger sisters are married with kids but i had no hope 4 a hubby.All what i did was to pray fervently and tell God that marriage is an institute ordained by HIM.
To cut the whole story short,I met my 'to be' hubby in a clinic. was with my lil niece whom was on admission in d clinic since d mum wasnt around. And a male friend of mine decided to visit and my 'to be' hubby tagged along. I was looking scruffy that day,never minded d maxi dress i wore,no cream,no powder on my face.After d visit he started pestering my friend.When we started getting along,i asked him what he really saw in me that day cos I NO FOLLOW @ ALL.he replied that he saw d potentials in me.my dear,na so e take happen o!
You can hang out o!but have good packaging……..character is beauty
hehehehe jus wat i needed to hear too…..kos i v bn single 4 a long time nw n its nt funny anymore
It would appear there we are plenty,lol. Beautiful, hardworking,fun loving singles and everyone around you can't fathom how you're single. Weekday is all work and some weekends too esp if you have a side hustle.We can come together, motivate each other with weekends/afterwork hangouts. Mayb even form a WhatsApp group and always put up outings to break workaholicsm and reserved nature. If we are interested in a group send me an email on: boutiquerevolution13@gmail.com. then we should check each other out on facebook. Cos solo hangouts may not be all that at times
It would appear there we are plenty,lol. Beautiful, hardworking,fun loving singles and everyone around you can't fathom how you're single. Weekday is all work and some weekends too esp if you have a side hustle.We can come together, motivate each other with weekends/afterwork hangouts. Mayb even form a WhatsApp group and always put up outings to break workaholicsm and reserved nature. If we are interested in a group send me an email on: boutiquerevolution13@gmail.com. then we should check each other out on facebook. Cos solo hangouts may not be all that at times
Hi Ladies, I dont mean 2 be barging into ur privacy, but I just got this link from lindikeji blog, so I just spied. I'm a bachelor, with positive characters, good looking, ripe for marriage.I'll love to meet a wonderful lady with same interest. 08188703300
i love your testimony and i have been waiting on God for answer
i love your testimony and i have been waiting on God for answer
Hi! I would love to meet you cos am ready for a serious relationship too. Am Adeyemi, dark in complexion, a software engineer, based in Lagos. Kindly call or text me: 08062594045
Keep this Trend Moving, I am in same shoe. Still hoping to meet that dream girl 09096631130 Just a flash can make the difference. Remember it always start with Hello.,.
These info and testimonies sounds encouraging and gives hope. i have come to realise its not about how beautiful, decent or God fearing a lady is, its simple Gods favor on finding the right partner.
Sometimes i feel its a little difficult for us(decent girls) ladies because we cant approach or go in search of men, as its written HE WHO FINDS A WIFE not the other way.
I will surely use some of your tips above.
Thanks