Hello aunty,how are you today..my name is……. and phone number……………..Pls i have a contradicting situation..I have been in a distance relationship for 3yrs,well defined and all,we are both in love and boo is even more crazy about me than i am.. We both have sound spiritual and social life.
we have worked on our trust issues so well that the distance is the least of our worries.we actually want to settle down next year.
Now here’s the problem,cos we r settling down soon,we decided to spend more time together so we started travelling a lot to pay ourselves visits,and i just discovered we always always always fall out…fight a lot on very trivial issues,never agree on stuff n am not a happy person when am with him as much as i am when we just do our usual phone thing.
(p.s we talk alooooot on the phone,average of 2-3hrs every day cos we gist n gossip alot,he’s my best friend)..so now I don’t understand why we can’t stay even 2days together without fighting a serious war that makes me cry all d time and say things I don’t mean.
He says I expect a lot from him,me I just think he should be a little more sweet and know how to treat a woman.
Now, this is my fear…how do I live with someone I can’t live with???? I really love him and I want things to work out well..infact i do everytin possible for him not to come see me not cos i dnt miss him but cos am scared of a fight.i knw that wont help but……
You guys, please help.. How do i fall in love with my man the way i am in love wit him on the phone?
P.s The first 8 months of our relationship were together oh fate just made us part ways at a point..
Thanks for your honest suggestions..
Thinking…
I can imagine ur fustration at the situation. First of all think about and make a list of the things he does or the things u do and say that make u enjoy the phone conversations you have. And try and say or use the same skills when u meet. Is it the jist? The gossip? The sweet words? Practicalise them. Secondly what are the stuff tht get you upset whn u are together? Open up to him about them and work on it together. U are still gttin to knw eachother, it will gt easier.
But do u expect much from him?
I'll suggest you make every moment you both spend together count,avoid bringing up those arguements that will eventually get hitted up. Its a graduall process u don't expect it to work like magic,instead of being frustrated and counting the years you've been together,try to make each moment count.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
Hmmm…. I understand wat u'r experiencing cos i τ̅☺ơ̴̴̴̴̴͡ had had such an an experience bt slightly different a lil bit!
Well wat i can advise is…try n list out wat ur differences, likes and dislikes are and try work Ȋ̝̊†̥ out by patience n understanding if actually both of u love each other as u'd said!
@ evry little time or period u guy share Ŵi̶̲̅τ each other….try talk abt dem Ŵi̶̲̅τ him…and learn to appreciate him for Ώђo he is n not force som things dwn his throat just too have ur way!
Try learn to understand each other Ŵi̶̲̅τ patience n Ŵi̶̲̅τ all humility! Cheers!
Now pls madam eya pls i want t knw if its nt hygienic τ̅☺ơ̴̴̴̴̴͡ eat in d pot cos i'm so addicted to dat crazy habit!
I love eating in the pot especially wen its the last portion of meal….n also wen i cook noodles, i prefer eating Ȋ̝̊†̥ in d pot dan pouring Ȋ̝̊†̥ in a plate!
I dnt knw if there's any heatlth risk or damage attached to Ȋ̝̊†̥!
Infact my Yoruba elderly neighbours n my mum usually scare me abt a superstition dat pple Ώђo eat in pot dont escape heavy down pours on dia wedding day….dat rain falls ℓi̶̲̥̅ke mad on dia wedding day! *Dunno how true dat is and i dnt believe in such crap*
But wat i really want to knw is the health risk attached to it dats if dia's any @ all!
Thanks!
Dear poster, there nothing patience cannot solve. I don' t know if am permitted to share my experience with u here. I had similar one though he was out of the country and came home to visit me once, the next time was for our wedding. When i moved into his house, it was war like you are experiencing now despite we dated for 2 years. I was fed up that he once told me that my expectations were too high. You know what I did one day? I reappraised myself, prayed to God and made up my mind not to complain again. I made sure I see everything he did as the best. After like 5 months of war, we started to understand each other better. Today, he's always all over me and our marriage is just 9 months old.What am saying in essence is that you should please and please be patient with him. You are from different backgrounds and luckily, you guys are seeing often now, maximize these times of your being together before marriage to be sensitive to his kind of person. You will be fine that I believe only if you would excercise more patience with him. Wish you all the best dear
*U Guys* pls pardon my spanish!
OR… you guys might just be better off as friends. Love is never forced. It really isn't. If you find that you always have to make a conscious effort to ignore all the things that make you incompatible, how long do you think you can keep that up for? You are you, and he is who he is. That doesn't mean that nobody should make changes and adjust themselves for their significant other, but it doesn't mean that we should force ourselves to be together and lose ourselves in the process. I'm sure this is the type of thing other women who have serious issues with their husbands did, where they ignored all the warning signs and jumped head first into marriage. You guys are having big arguments now to the extent where you say things to him that you don't mean (but to him, you meant every word of it) and you guys are not even living with each other yet. As of now you have the option of having alone time by going home. The situation could be a lot more frustrating once you have to live with that person, once you have no choice other than to stay there (other than divorce, which should be the very last resort). I hope I'm making sense here. Please think carefully. You also get along with your friends on phone, but I'm sure you couldn't live long term with many of them, could you? If this man seems like one of your friends, let it go and find someone you are truly compatible with; someone you can live with and *debate*, not argue with and still be able to talk to one another afterwards. Get it?
I think u r expecting so much 4rm him because of D̶̲̥̅̊ fact dat u guys communicate S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ well on phone, slow down, relax & try 2 study his kind of person,even couples dat spends S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ much tyme 2geda during courtship still find out some awful things about each other when they eventually settle down.
Yawnsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
tDear poster i laughd when i read ur story wld hav posted same months ago. Me n boo startd off long dx r/ship 4 a yr it was cool we seemd rlly compatible until i relocatd 2 same city wif him. Hmmm twas war one misundastandng 2 d oda i was always cryin bk6s i hate strife. Petty stuffs u did nt smile r hug mi wen i kame in,u hav changd,u wore dis,u sa4d dis etc. I cried,prayd. I was tired,i thot of quitin. It wld get beta u r getting 2 rlly no urselus. Me n
boo hav krossd dt hurdle and we luk back n laff at ourselvs. Just b patient,u wld laff at ds tym. Learn ur lyks n dslyks. Miss peony.
Miss peony na wao! Ur write up enh!..
@ poster, I've been married for 4yrss now, and my hubby is still more lovely on phone than real life..mshewwww
Smtimes enh, I just get so tired.
He has never told me with his mouth one day that he loves me..only on phone… Can you imagine.. If you hear us communicate on phone enh, u'll conclude that our love is on fire! And we can talk for hours on fone.. Meanwhile, we can only ve 10min descent conversation in real life afterwards malice…
Me I don tire sef..
If you love him enh, just manage him. Kpele
Patsy
Lol!funny cos am eating my remaining egusi straight fron the pot with my eba while reading this.nothinng do us jare,just get a very big hall for your reception
Miss peony na wao! Ur write up enh!..
@ poster, I've been married for 4yrss now, and my hubby is still more lovely on phone than real life..mshewwww
Smtimes enh, I just get so tired.
He has never told me with his mouth one day that he loves me..only on phone… Can you imagine.. If you hear us communicate on phone enh, u'll conclude that our love is on fire! And we can talk for hours on fone.. Meanwhile, we can only ve 10min descent conversation in real life afterwards malice…
Me I don tire sef..
If you love him enh, just manage him. Kpele
Patsy
My dear, I was in d same predicament as u r in now. Even d early months of my marriage was terrible. My sisters in law were even angry wit me that we didn't spend time together b4 d marriage that's why I don't understand him. This is a man whom I talk wit on d fone for hours on end. After d first terrible six months of marriage I decided to watch more and talk less. Men r very insensitive. Don't just expect all those movie romance and love from him and u ll be fine.
ds was d same experience with my then boyfriend who is now my husband,bcos we didnt live in d same town.on fone we were d greatest lovers bt wen we saw each oda which wasnt often bcos my parents were strict it was fight,quarell..i realised dt i built a picture of hm which was what i wanted instead of taking him d way he was.i prayed abt d relationship n evrything showed he was d man God ordained for me.i stopped trying to make him conform to a picture i had in myhead,instead i accepted hm d way he was n today we hav been married for more than 3yrs n blive me my husband is my best friend.m nt saying he does nt do things dt irritate me,he still does bt i have accepted hm d way he is afterall im sure i do things dt irritate hm tho he hasnt said so.nobody s perfect.so pls stop xpecting so much of hm,erase that picture of hm dt u have in ur head n accept hm d way he s n u will be amazed at how much u njoy being with hm.
some men hate when their girlfriend or wife always have the final say,because they prefer to be in charge of everything.Take it easy girl.