Good morning aunty eya,
How are you and your family? I hope all is well? I really need solid advice. I have dated my fiance for 5years and whenever we are together, I just feel the day doesn’t end cos I love him and he loves me so much. The issue is that we would be married in a few days but I am searching for that love I have for him cos I don’t feel excited about this wedding anymore. Because we are from different tribes, people just pass so much bad comments about our choice of getting married. I don’t know if it is these bad comments that is suffocating this love from my heart. I am so confused. He is so caring, humble and Godfearing but he is not from my tribe. Is this feeling normal? I need someone to advice me urgently cos I am in a state of dilemma. God bless you.
Please ma post as anonymous.
How are you and your family? I hope all is well? I really need solid advice. I have dated my fiance for 5years and whenever we are together, I just feel the day doesn’t end cos I love him and he loves me so much. The issue is that we would be married in a few days but I am searching for that love I have for him cos I don’t feel excited about this wedding anymore. Because we are from different tribes, people just pass so much bad comments about our choice of getting married. I don’t know if it is these bad comments that is suffocating this love from my heart. I am so confused. He is so caring, humble and Godfearing but he is not from my tribe. Is this feeling normal? I need someone to advice me urgently cos I am in a state of dilemma. God bless you.
Please ma post as anonymous.
My husband and I are from different tribes, and we are like 5 and 6. You just need to block your mind from what people are saying. People always have comments for couples that are getting married. As long as you know the partner your getting married to, that is all that matters. Don't let people kill your joy. I do hope you can get your excitement back and enjoy your wedding/marriage. Goodluck.
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My hub and I are best of friends and confidant. U know what ? we are from different tribes. Did pple talk before marriage, Yes. Where the words discouraging, yes. But we knew what we saw in each other and held on to it. I was even told that his tribe pple don't take care of their wives, that they are polygamous in nature. I stand tall to tell u today that I have bn with this man for almost 13 yrs yet I don't panic if there is a knock on the door. If God is leading u then u've got nothing to worry about.
Did I forget to mention that my needs are met before I finish asking except he does not have. Pray, when convinced, go on.
My two cents
You didn't even tell us if your family is in support of the marriage or they are not, you only said people are passing so much bad comments, who are the people? If its your family its more difficult, if its outsiders, its easier
There a lots of things to consider or lookout for in picking a partner, and tribe is the least of them all, you are getting married to the man, and not his tribe
what you should be worried about is if he is from the same tribe in the Lord with you, I mean if he is a Christian, a believer, a born again, a good Christian, forget about the comments from people and focus on him if he is the right person u want to spend the rest of ur life with, but after dating someone for 5yrs, u should "know your onion" by now
People's comment shouldn't be affecting your sense of judgement, so I would rather say you should look deep within, look beyond the comments, for if its the comment, its base less, tribe is not an issue, the issue is that you are not feeling comfortably with going ahead with the marriage, try to look at the bigger picture by asking yoursef why you are feeling the way you are feeling, why are you not loving him again, look within, is there something you don't like about his person? And decide either to go ahead with the marriage or not, but do not base your decision on people comment about tribe, if its necessary that you will consider peoples comment, let it be on his attitude, his kind of person, his personalities, if he is good or bad, that's when you weigh peoples comment
Mind you also, its normal to feel nervous before getting married, its normal to ask yourself if you are ready or not, its normal to have lots of emotion flooding your mind and clouding your reasoning, but whatever decision you will have to make will be based on facts about him, your love for him and due to his character will he make a good husband?
May God help you to make the right decisions, and God bless you
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I am beginning to fall in love with Alloy Chikezie chai
thank you aloy.first for being in the mist of women,sharing views and discussing on hurting matters.your last paragraph makes a lot of sense but too speak grammar self.
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have been married for 8yrs now.dated my husband steadily for 10 good years but actually wanted to butt out during the wedding for no just cause.i just had this cold unexplainable feeling within me till i was talked out of it though i basically made the decision.so i believe it is always like that.but we are from the same tribe but diff states.i advise you take time out to pray over it while continue preparing for your wedding.the most important thing is what the two of you want.good luck.
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My dear follow Ur hrt and dnt mind wat people says about it,d most impnt tin like Alloy said is if Ur parent and d guy parent re in support of it, if dey re den U hve nothing to worry about,believe me evn if U guys re dsame tribe people will still see somtin to talk about, am happy U wrote here dt d guy hve d fear of God in him which is one of d most impnt tin in a marriage. Hmmm!! Des one U re talking about hving a second tot towards a man U hve dated for 5yrs I hope is jst d talk dey re saying and not some oda guy deciving U,a bird at hand is worth millons out there ooo. Be wise and let God give U d knowledge and wisdom U require to mke a good decision for Urself and Ur unborn children. Cheers
na wa 4 u .so is it a crime?
People are jealous because you found someone who is your soul mate. The love you two have shines in you . So if he was from your tribe and mistreated you it would be fine to marry him. LOVE is different from tribe..Bible says love transcends all things. What does God say about him and your marriage to you.That should be your focus.
Sis nky is dat u?
No my sister
Alloy Chikezie has finally found a place where he belongs. On our blog. Wives connection. You were wasting on LIB. Welcome bro.
WAN
poster. Sorry u hear?
Hi Everyone that posted a comment, God bless you all, I am going on powerfully with the wedding and yess both parents are in full support. Thanks once again. Poster
*Are u getting married to him or the comments pple are passing?
*Are u getting married to him or the tribe?
My mum is from Edo state father is Yoruba! My cousin is Yoruba and married to someone from the North! Need I go on?
Just make sure u have a pure mind of ur own abeg! Forget what anyone has to say! Why is it just crossing ur mind dat ur from diff tribes???
I don't know u @@Alloy but I just like and admire ur intelligence.
My dear a bird at hand is the very bird. Nothing dey for bush