I’m in that kind of situation right now and its such a terrible place to be. I can’t marry my ex but we are still very good friends. We still get to see often and sometimes we have sex. We have both tried to move on but it’s not just working. We will quarrel and decide to stop talking to each other but after a few days, we will settle like husband and wife and become best of friends again. if sth happens and i want to tell someone, he’ll be the 1st i‘ll call and he does same too.
Was with him last week when a guy
called me and this guy almost had a heart failure and his eyes turned red. He lost appetite and was saying all sorts of touchy stuff. I’m just tired cos I know for certain that we can’t end up together cos we are both AS but we can’t seem to let go.
I’ve told God to take control and make the feeling go away cos I’ve tried in my capacity as a human but I failed woefully. As it is right now, I can’t even give other guys audience cos he’s all up in my head, in my thoughts and in my heart. No 1 minute passes by with me thinking about him and he says it’s the same for him. It’s been 6 months since I knew we can’t be together but it’s still very hard to let go.
Dear poster, I have no advice for you cos I need advice as well. In fact I decided that I will go and see a counselor to get professional advice cos I know I’m headed for disaster if I continue like this.
Dear Poster,
the only reason why you still think you cant get away from your ex is because you have not met someone who would knock you off your feets.
2, you dont know the implications of having kids with some one who is AS as you, SS isnt what you want to nurse. think about this and make up your mind to MOVE ON
Dem no dey tell pikin say fire they market square, if him go dia na him palava!
Well, as una love dey unquenchable make una ready to adopt, cos if you born SS naim be say na hospital be una relaxation spot.
Give ur self brain, the day wey marriage start na dat day dis love wey dey shack una now end.
#I Tok Reach!
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Hello there…well frm my own experience I tnk its better to leave it to God in prayers and at the same time concentrate on something else, be it work of anytn yu lyk doing. Truth is d chances dt yu wldn't v a sickler as a child r 1 in a million. My parents are both AS, and they gave birth to 4 kids. 3 of us r AA while d 1st born is AS! I blive twas jst luck n God buh m sure if any of us was a sickler I wldn't v forgiven dem, cuz dey made a very risky choice! N yet a close family friend has a child dts SS, doe she's married with twins now, i remember al d trauma dey went tru whyl she was schln n al. She dnt evn graduate frm uni, she ad a crisis during her finals n d schl authorities were not informed… Well, I wldn't say go ahead, n I wldn't say stop. My parents said dey were ready to face d challenges of raising a sickler child, what if d child was ready to live a normal life?? Think bout this very well my dear,its nt always about love!
@Ace, you so funny, well madam love nwatintin..beta pik race.am a pharmacist and I knw wt dis SS parents pass tru.do u knw d price of der drugs.some pple r lucky to av jst one out SS out of 3kids, some 2 and some 3.wen dis pple strt der crisis, the love go clear for una face,don't allow dis kids to suffer.stop visiting this guy and give someone else chance to love u so sooner or lerra u will forget dis ur AS guy.a word is enoff sista love
its a big risk my dear, but there are also other genetic diseases that re worst than ss-anaemia. if you guys must marry, you ll need to know about CVS (pls Google it) its a process of finding out a fetus genotype or knowing any genetic diseases the fetus might have, as early as 8 weeks into the pregnancy, This test can help you decide if you want to keep the baby or not. My husband and i are both AS, but as God ll have it, we dont have any SS children . Wish you all the Best !
Pls can I know the clinic where u did the CVS
AnonymousMay 14, 2013 at 10:01 PM
My dear there is something called chorionic villious sampling where u can check d baby's genotype at about 12 wks. I hv two friends who both did it. They both are AS and married AS. Gone are the days when genotype stopped people from getting married. Educate urself. Google is your friend.
I just fink you shud let go. Taking care of sickler aint easy. I have a friend who is SS, when her crisis springs up, the mother will even be weaker cos she feels guilty bringing a child to dis world to suffer.
Good day dearies, I love this blog! I'm a doctor nd I will tell you a big NO pls try and let go! Sickle cell is terrible! The complications are life threatening. For every pregnancy, you have a 25percet of carrying a sickler child! You could have 4kids and all would turn out SS or none @ all. I see this sicklers everyday and my heart goes out to them! You may never forgive yourself if you ever have a child with sickle cell! Besides forget this prenatal screening where you get to know the genotype of your baby before birth. How many of the pregnancies would you abort and I'm sure you know abortion also has its complications. Pls save yourself the trauma. Thank you from a concerned Doctor
God should be consulted for this. Cos is really complex
@aunt eya..this sampling is expensive and wat if d baby is AS..she wil abort it abi..hummmm..miss poster abeg run joor
Pls d checkin of d genotype is nuffin bcos she won't b able 2 bring hasef 2 abort d baby if its ss. So no nid
It's always good to know you have options. I think It's hard enough to find true love and a good partner, so if both partners are AS and are willing to take a chance, at least they know CVS exists. Nothing wrong with that.
I am a nurse and i want to give u this candid advice,pls run away from that relationship. I use d word run becos the cost and frustration of taking care of a sickled child is so enormous. No matter d level of love u feel for each other believe u me if u continue and get married,u'll ever live to regret it.
Two years ago my cousin was in this same situation, she welcomed the idea of walking out of the relationship(although it was not easy),today she is glad that she did. Be wise swthrt.
When she checks d genotype n its SS pls what next…ABORTION???? That is murder. A life starts at conception (my own stand). If u want to go ahead with d marriage den be ready for d risk associated with ur decision.
I totally agree with you my brother. Poster forget all that "we can't do without each other" na una hormones dey talk. When d dance set bros fit bail out go find AA babe make him lineage no loss. Wise up sis, it's not worth d trauma.
My dear even conjoined twins sef dem dey separate them, wetin con be una own. E be like say we go send for Dr Ben Carson o. But seriously babe, run for your dear life.
Eya, your comment promote abortion… @poster Do you want to be a murderer???
You are not talking like a professional doctor? Haba! What if there are sicklers reading this post? How do you think they'd feel? What about parents of sicklers? Aren't there better ways of putting it? Yes sickle cell is an abnormality of the red blood cells but pls have some compassion when speaking about a disease someone has which wasn't chosen by him nor did he contact it. Pls
Nobody brings anybody to the world..we are just vessels used by the almighty to carry and eventually give birth to..no one chose to come to the world when he or she did. We came when at the time God assigned for us so pls stop saying someone brought someone to the world to suffer. Not a mother! No sane mother wud nurture a pregnancy and deliver just for that child to suffer
I am a mum to a sickler!
@ Suhee, I'm assuming you both didn't know you were AS before marriage. In that case, you didn't bring the child to the world to suffer. But if you knew about it before marriage, that is then another matter.
thats exactly what am saying, Aunty Eya
I don't get what's hurtful about the dr comment. If they choose to get married n bear SS children den dey delibrately gave does children d disease. The children are never to blame its d parents except dey didn't know they were both AS
Sylvia Ally Willy-Ebri: AS is just a medical term. What is important is WHOSE REPORT U BELIEVE. My Huby & I are as & our kids are free. My Younger Sister & Her Huby Are AS & their 3kids are free. Let The Doctors Report Not Intimate Us Or Discourage Us Because Gods Plan For Us Are The Best.
16 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 1
With God all things are possible,just have faith and all will be well
do anyone know someone that has done CHORIONIC VILLOUS sampling test in Nigeria? i need one urgently before i enter menopause.
thank you.
AS marrying AS, except you dont know your status before entrying into marriage.it is advisable to quit the relationship than having SS children. it is a terrible experience, i went through it and the baby eventually died @ 18mths.think about you always taken time off work to stay with a sick child in the hospital and you cant even do any to help the child for the pains to stop. except God is leading you to an AS partner but am 100% sure He wont give you a Sickler.
my son died two years ago, i still have the guilt with me, something that can be avoided. Love is wise and not SELFISH.
All dis talk is disheartening cus I'm in d same dilemma
Please I want to know if taking care of sicklers are demanding even in the western world. All the ladies I get attracted to for marriange are AS like me and I feel really frustrated as I should be settled down since 8 years now. The recent one happend just last week when she went for medical test aqnd the result came out AS. I plan relocating to the US in six months time and planned marrying her to move with me. Its really frustrating.
I just posted it for you: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2013/10/all-my-ladies-are-as-genotype-like-me.html
What about having a surrogate mother? I think that should help.You don't need to carry a baby by yourself anymore,some people are willing to do it.
Hello everyone,, I do find this very important. PLEASE I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP AND SHE IS MY SOULMATE IN ALL THINGS , AND WE ARE BOTH AS….. I just want to know if anyone can help me with a Hospital in Nigeria or Africa where the CVS TEST is done, so i can make contact with them before deciding what to do. Please Reply
oh God…..am in d same dilemma and i still dont know what to do after all these comments.
In 5years all this will be history God willing. Sickle cell can now be cured by bone marrow transplant. Ubth benin has started it. google is your friend. cheers
hmm wt God all tins r possible cos he gav z son for us to bear our sicknesses and diseases i c no reason why anyone shud b a victim of this sickle cell things.
If you've been through what I have been through in life, then you might as well resign to fate. I am in my early forties now and I have had to give up four relationships with marriage prospects in the past because of this AS madness! I mean four! 1 2 3 4! The first was in my was in my mid-twenties. Today, history keeps repeating itself whenever I choose a woman to marry. What did I do wrong? What am I supposed to do? Ask a girl her genotype on our first date? I know that cases like mine are quite rare but these things aren't so easy. Count yourself lucky if you don't have to deal with such problems in your life. My life bears testimony to the mystery of how religion confounds science. I am the last in a family of nine by my mum and 12 by my dad. All of them got married without undergoing tests for genotype and none has SS kids. I am the only one who chose to determine my genotype before marriage and see what I got. Sounds strange, but it's true.
I have loose several relationships to the this crap call AS to AS.Pls where can this CVS test be done in Nigeria
The AA people no de show AS mercy at they feel its a sickness too
What about AS and AC. Is it in any way saver than the AS and AS in marriage.
I stil beliv dat BLOOD IS THICKER DAN WATER BUT LOVE,I MEAN TRUE LOVE IS THICKER DAN BLOOD,whether SS or no SS am not sacrificin myPART-FINDER just becos of Genotype because love conqereth all things………cheers………
Pls don't sacrifice oo, its not easy to find true love. But pls pray together and seek the face of God, He doeth what no man can do, including changing of genotype and giving you guys ss free children. Am not gonna sacrifice mine either cos am in same situation. I ve suffered enough, losing AS guys over and over.
This is my second relationship and i just found out he is also AS but we both pretending we didn't find out…God help us
i am in the same dilemma and don't know what to do. it's easier to say run when you are not in these shoes. i believe in miracles. that's all i can say.
As or no as ,all I knw s dat God is in control ova any intending marriage,both me n my hubby ar as n our 2lovely boys ar ss free,dere s notin dat God cannot do
I know my GOD will never let me down…never cuz he has always be my protector and I will go ahead and bring you all my testimony in de next 6months! JESUS IS Real.
Reading this makes me think of my situation. Until you are in her situation do not judge. The truth is it's hard to breakup with someone that you haven't had issues with. I think the best thing is to really try actively to get over the person. People that marry when they are both AS believe they would be lucky. Nobody wants to bring a child to the world to suffer. I personally love children too much to intentionally bring a child to the world to suffer. The best thing for you is to reason with your head. Try all the best you can because the future is not too far away. I'm trying to move on now it's not easy but just believe an AA guy is out there that will make you happy. It sucks to give up someone due to nobody's fault. May God direct your decision in Jesus name. I sympathize with all the SS out there who are suffering, may God give you strength to bear the pains you go through. Life is already hard and having to go through additional pain that could have been avoided really sucks. Don't blame your parents when it comes to love people hardly reason. Anybody can be in any situation in this life.
No woman wants to have ss children, when malaria had no cure it killed people. May we never experience Ebola again in Nigeria it killed people what medical solutions could our able dorcy provide? As a nation we started praying for Gods intervention so we will be delivered from the plague
My point is, it is the two people involved that has to set out for a solution ahead of time (whatever they choose to do) by God's grace they can settle for 1or 2 children if they both are matured enough to take such a tough decision. The good thing is that the issue is being address both from the positive and negative angle. Let everyone involved pray and think of a way o especially by the help of God. What is the fault of those born as A. S after all and the annoying thing is that it is terribly rampant! God help us all. My opinions o every one is entitled to there's. Cheers
I can relate with you@finding it hard to let go. I have been in the same situation and trust me it takes God's grace to let go and also some effort from yourself. As much as you are praying to God for help, you should also take some steps..e.g get involved with other activities, try to meet new people, reduce the amount of time you spend with him gradually…also reduce the calls. This will hurt but these are a few steps you need to take while you trust God to help you, please also spend a lot of time studying the bible, praying and worshipping…emphasis on the worshipping. Well…concerning As marrying As….I believe the couple should be well informed about the risks and all that it entails and be prepared psychologically, physically, financially & spiritually prepared. If they believe it's God's plan for them to be together…carry on.
God knows best
D CVS can be done @ sickle cell centre, idi-araba. Its opposite LUTH. I did mine there.
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Funny I am in the same situation, I have known her for over 10 years, we have always known we aren't compatible (genotype) but yet we just kept waxing strong. A Lot has happened and now she is giving me the cold shoulder, maybe in a bid to end the relationship. It's very very painful going through this cruel treatment from her, but really I don't entirely blame her, though I think I deserve better. I d advise anyone who is going through a similar experience to weigh their options and enlighten themselves. Truth is there are solutions out there if both of you are willing to try. That is it, you 2 must agree. So leave sentiments and decide on what to do. Good luck.
This is 2016 and there is NOW a solution for AS-AS couple that doesn't involve abortion or surrogate etc. It is only a bit costly.
The Name of that solution is PGD (preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis). You can google it and read about it.
I don't live in Nigeria but I heard this procedure is now available in Nigeria.
My advice is, if the couple are rich or can save up some money in few months to years to afford this procedure, then go ahead.
Enough of all these, AS-AS can't marry thing. They can NOW marry but only for the rich or middle-class. In few decades to come, I believe the cost of the procedure will reduce due to competition.
I am AS and I can marry an AS guy who is madly in love with me and willing to go through PGD. Money is not an issue.
Please our people let's get ourselves enlightened and current with technological advancement in medicine.
If you are in love and going through this dilemma and want to know more about PGD, message me or something.
Please sir. I will love to know about the PGD
Im AA, that's my testimony
Pls we need to talk, bestc6150@gmail.com
I will like to see your mail in my box as soon as you get this @ the comment on August 15, 2016.
Hello… can someone help? I'm in the same situation.