Ways To Catch A Chicken

by

Many people have tried various means of birdnapping, and these means have ended in failure and ignominy. If you weigh about a 120kgs and you want to try the conventional method of chasing the chicken about with a bag and basket, FORGET IT. The bird has a very simple defence mechanism; they run zigzag when chased , so they will most likely outrun you, not to mention the risk of giving yourself a heart attack {120kgs is no joke. That’s like two bags of rice and yam 1500 naira}
Below are some very useful tips to successfully catching a chicken.
Sight target {preferably the pesky neighbourhood cock who goes around terrorising and raping the hens} and close in with a handful of maize in one hand and a big fat stick in the other. When you are close enough,toss the maize and call the target.
The target rushes to you and pecks away happily at your feet, unaware that his end has come.
Raise

stick and smash! The target gives a mighty “KWAAAAAA!” and drops dead. Stuff carcass into a basket, fling the murder weapon into the forest and sneak back to your room, where a pot is already on the boil.

Another method:

Lure target to you with grains of maize. When it is eating its last meal at your feet, grab target by READ MORE HERE

12 thoughts on “Ways To Catch A Chicken”

  7. I 've recieved countless petitions Frm d Animal right Commission, alleging persecution n assault of innocent Fowls in various neighbourhood across the country, some of which 've resulted in out right death or various degrees of injury to the victims. After thorough examination and cross examination of d defendant, it was discovered that indeed the accused has in various cases, committed 1st degree murder, which is contrary to section 5, sub-section 2, paragraph 11 of The Animals right act. With d Supreme power vested on me, by Section 37, Paragraph 9, subsection 2 of d constitution of the Animal Farm Republic, I hereby sentence You to 5yrs of Poultry Farming n Dog rearing. This is without an Option of Fine or Appeal whatsoever. Thats my Judgement!

    VALENTINE!

    Reply

  8. I 've recieved countless petitions Frm d Animal right Commission, alleging persecution n assault of innocent Fowls in various neighbourhood across the country, some of which 've resulted in out right death or various degrees of injury to the victims. After thorough examination and cross examination of d defendant, it was discovered that indeed the accused has in various cases, committed 1st degree murder, which is contrary to section 5, sub-section 2, paragraph 11 of The Animals right act. With d Supreme power vested on me, by Section 37, Paragraph 9, subsection 2 of d constitution of the Animal Farm Republic, I hereby sentence You to 5yrs of Poultry Farming n Dog rearing. This is without an Option of Fine or Appeal whatsoever. Thats my Judgement!

    VALENTINE!

    Reply

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.