Hi sis Eya, I’m an addict to your blog, I open it as much as I open Linda’s everyday.I enjoy the food recipes and even different issues we have to tackle.anyway I’ve brought mine too, please I hope this flies because it’s causing me a lot of grief and hope to solve it soonest.
Please, my question goes thus,how does
one separate her man from very bad friends??,irrespective of the length of time they’ve been friends or the closeness.you see there’s this married man that is my fiance’s best friend,now d only good thing I see in this man is that he didn’t leave or abandon his home BUT my God this man is a Dog,he sleeps with any and everything in skirt and worse part is,he is an elder in their church while my man is d secretary to the church.
fine,am sure they’ve been close since my man was a toddler but I believe there should be ways to separate them because even though I haven’t caught my man cheating in 2yrs we’ve bin 2geda.the stories he tells me of this man scares me,d man goes as far as having a twosome and all that extreme things.now the lastest 1 that broke this camel’s back is that,1day I went to my fiance’s house,we were gisting and the man called,he ignored it dat I won’t believe the man collects his house key to come and sleep with girls,I was sooooo mad bt I asked hope not our room cause its a 3bedroom house.he said he’s nt sure cause he gives him his bunch of key.u won’t bliv I went to our toilet(the 1in the master bedroom)only 2find a CD in d toilet!to say I was mad is putting it mildly,1st thing he said was baby u know I won’t cheat n if I do I won’t even be that careless,and said the man actually used his room a day before..
Please I need this man out of my man’s life.this man has 6grown children but still chases girls younger than his last born,pls what type of mentor is that? pls guys gimme practical ways(no pray bout it,I don pray tire)and since am a yoruba girl can’t b out rightly rude n nasty to the man.and yes av spoken2oga bout separating them but he’s stubborn bout it.my new strategy now is making sure we don’t renew our rent cos its close 2the man,oga is still opposing bt I plan to insist to the last.YES the matter is that serious because I even know his wife,I always feel 4her too bt my lips are sealed except he involves my man den his wife will be the 1 2settle it,though he realises the man’s life isn’t 1 to emulate but what if he marries and become like that(God forbid)?I can’t be quiet like the man’s wife.
In addition to my prayers, what else can I do? Thanks guys
Please, my question goes thus,how does
one separate her man from very bad friends??,irrespective of the length of time they’ve been friends or the closeness.you see there’s this married man that is my fiance’s best friend,now d only good thing I see in this man is that he didn’t leave or abandon his home BUT my God this man is a Dog,he sleeps with any and everything in skirt and worse part is,he is an elder in their church while my man is d secretary to the church.
fine,am sure they’ve been close since my man was a toddler but I believe there should be ways to separate them because even though I haven’t caught my man cheating in 2yrs we’ve bin 2geda.the stories he tells me of this man scares me,d man goes as far as having a twosome and all that extreme things.now the lastest 1 that broke this camel’s back is that,1day I went to my fiance’s house,we were gisting and the man called,he ignored it dat I won’t believe the man collects his house key to come and sleep with girls,I was sooooo mad bt I asked hope not our room cause its a 3bedroom house.he said he’s nt sure cause he gives him his bunch of key.u won’t bliv I went to our toilet(the 1in the master bedroom)only 2find a CD in d toilet!to say I was mad is putting it mildly,1st thing he said was baby u know I won’t cheat n if I do I won’t even be that careless,and said the man actually used his room a day before..
Please I need this man out of my man’s life.this man has 6grown children but still chases girls younger than his last born,pls what type of mentor is that? pls guys gimme practical ways(no pray bout it,I don pray tire)and since am a yoruba girl can’t b out rightly rude n nasty to the man.and yes av spoken2oga bout separating them but he’s stubborn bout it.my new strategy now is making sure we don’t renew our rent cos its close 2the man,oga is still opposing bt I plan to insist to the last.YES the matter is that serious because I even know his wife,I always feel 4her too bt my lips are sealed except he involves my man den his wife will be the 1 2settle it,though he realises the man’s life isn’t 1 to emulate but what if he marries and become like that(God forbid)?I can’t be quiet like the man’s wife.
In addition to my prayers, what else can I do? Thanks guys
To be honest with you, your fiance cheats as much as his friend. And don't be surprise if the condom was used by your fiance #justsaying. Truth is birds of identical promage, invariably flock to the nearest promixity
I concur.
I agree with u Veev. Was gonna say same. Since it is already established that his friend cheats, he can use dat as his cover. Well, on the other hand, he may not be cheating.
The thing is, if ur man isn't willing to be separated (knowing d man's lifestyle and how uncomfortable u are) it'll be hard to do anytn.
– Ms FT
I think your man may not be as clean as he makes out to be. If he is clean, a church secretary, and serious Christian, he can't bear to be around such a man. I wonder what kind of church has such a man as leader too?
Practically, let's say your man is not as far gone as the man, one way to separate them is to change churches. You've mentioned one which is to move to a new place which is far away.
Finally, get new hobbies for yourself and your guy. Find out what he likes doing, and do them with him, rather than with that other man. Spend more time together and also make new friends and activities. All the best.
You can also use a woman's blackmail tactic*rme*.
Beg God for forgiveness thou there are instances lies are needful part of wisdom.
Frame up a story that the man is making passes at u!
At that,u will see ur fiance's reaction cos he knows the man is capable!
It will work cos women matter can seperate even brothers.
Erm…I don't get. Ur fiancee (not husband) is secretary to d church too and you guys live together? *bbm smile*
No,we don't live 2geda!
kk cos you said our bedroom and all.
Dear ur man is cheating, if he is not cheating, d older man's attitude will be irritating to him also.
You can NEVER and i repeat NEVER ever change a man unless he wants to change. they have been friends even before u came on board so it's not something you can achieve. i have been in the same situation in the past and i know what i'm talking about. guys dont slag each other off like ur man is doing to his friend, i dont know what he hopes to achieve. finally, i dont think you man is as clean as he seems to make you think.
Babe, your man is old enough to do what is right. If he can allow his friend do all kinds of rubbish in his house, then you should reconsider your relationship with him. I am not saying he is cheating, but if a church Secretary can condone an 'obvious sin', then what makes you sure he will make the right choices for his own family when you guys settle down?
I'll say this again…. All men cheat!
Outta 100%, 95% of men cheat, it's more of instinct and superiority amongst men.
Investigate ur man and not his friend, you myt just wanna avoid that cos what you'll find will be distasteful.
Goodluck switz
Nuff'Said
Av investigated tire in the past o LOL(my friends called me police),I go 2his place unannounced,read text msgs,monitor calls,save numbers I think are funny n call bck,follow facebook,bbm bt I don tire abeg,shud I now fabricate stuffs or continue distrusting sum1 I'll marry in a few months?even if he's cheating den he's a master of the game n truly I have left all d monitoring a long time ago.1,am too busy building my business now,2.I need my sanity n need2concentrate on the future of our family.plus I did all that bcos of d man sef,I too thot dey must b same and it made me very insecure esp wen again my cousin dat went 2 uni with him said girls were attracted 2him a lot while der.she didn't even want me2date him.so I was ready 2catch him cheating bt my dear,I tire2look 4wetin no lost.lol,told my closest friend who is a guy bout it recently n he says its possible he was a flirt bt got tired or mayb pple jus misjudged him 4rm afar bcos my fiance is very spiritual o,more spiritual dan I am.prays all d tym n reads d bible(@least he sabi God),me I thot d prblm d man has is biological.thanks @romance meets life,u were the only 1 dat had answers 4me n infact d major answer am goin2wrk on n dats 2change our church,he was born der(nt a new generation church) so it might b a bit hard bt am sure its doable.@queen bee I don't av power 4d drama dat might cum out of lying on d guy if nt dat ur plan wud wrk well.thanks every1 else 4 taking out time 2address the issue.God bless u guys,thanks Aunty Eya,lots of love!
Sorry change his church,I don't attend same church as him so I plan 2bring him 2mine.lol
Dear,pple who attend those churches rarely want to leave except they choose to.this is a battle you can ONLY fight on your knees…holy spirit can be an olofofo i.e reveals deep and cleverly hidden secrets(pardon me)ask for his help and assistance:ask him to open your Eyes, you would be suprised what you wld find.cheers!#try it#
@ Ace hmmn….so u still cheat in ur rships too?????
Don't mind d yeye girl make she dey deceive herself.just like d mans wife dosent kno he is cheating na so us ef no know.he is so cheating on u.wen I got married my husband even witout my knowlege cut off his association with evil friends and wen I asked him,he said he dosent want wahala in his marriage bcos he kno I can act crazy.so my dear let m$e give u advice and tel u wat I mean by acting crazy,threaten ur man dat if dem no seperate u wil report d man to his wife to leave ur husband or go along with queen bee and say d man made passes at u,if possi ble steal his fone and send a raunchy text to ur fone,dat way d friendship don end for life..but say ur man no dey cheat,my dear u lie to urself
Ace – would you cheat when you're married?
Maybe you have a different difinition for 'cheating' – let us hear it. Please don't disappoint your fans o…
If you did the police thing, it means that you had some doubts in your mind. I thought my husband was the best thing that happened to me. He would never cheat on me.. Wasted my youth on him. i found out that during the first year of our marriage when we were virtually not living together because he was abroad;He was living with a woman and she was the one advising him on all matters patterning to our relationship. This woman had a relationship with his brother and he started dating her behind his brothers back. He was also sleeping around with other girls but if he wants to pray for you eh…….The whole neighborhood will shake. After I moved in with him, I had to contend with his family… lots of stories and lots of cheating. Every time I caught him with a new one and I complained he would request that I should move out of his house ( I got this request almost every month). My dear, I could not believe that this wonderful man that God had blessed me with was this indifferent to my feeling. Lots of issues and years later (Including a high blood pressure diagnose and a scary transient stroke) I decided to move out and move on. I simply refused to die because of marriage.
So the moral of the story is that unlike other lady's you are already seeing warning signs. It is best that you look for ways to address them before you get married or else these issues may be the beginning of your undoing.
My dear friend,to be honest with you,your guy cheats as this man does. I have been in this shoe before,when I travelled to see my boyfriend,and I got to his toilet and saw 2 used condoms.I was mad. Just imagine what he did? He started lamenting: oh dear,this Kunle(his friend) will not put my relationship in trouble o! What is all these? He said I wouldn't be that careless if I'm cheating on you(that's me). Another time I went visiting,I saw postinor 2 on his table. This was when I made up my mind,he wasn't the man for me. I thought to myself,oh!!! This guy has been cheating and not that alone,he is been having unprotected sex! We broke up and went our ways. My dear,think twice o! And pray harder for God to reveal to you more mistakes from him if he isn't meant for you. AIDS is real o!
You should question his christianity/sincerity. He said he doesnt know if the guy has ever used ur room .. And later he went on to say the guy used the room a day before. No true lover of God wud condone such a friend. "Evil communication corrupts……. "I'm sure you know the rest
If u don't mind me asking pls what church do they go to? Both your fiance and dis man.