Good day madam eya,how are you and how is everything?I sincerely hope fine.you have a wonderful blog here,God will definately take u places.pls do not publish my mail.
I am a 26 year old girl,I am single and I have a 4 year old daughter.I live with a distant relative,and my daughter.from all standards I am comfortable.my daughter has been a blessing to my life,since I had her,doors have been opening for me.
that brings me back to why I am writing this.4 years back I got introduced into the world of interior decorating and designing.ithad been a passion 4 me,but by the time I finished school and cldnt get a job,I became more involved in it.
the first home I did belonged to a caterer and she had contacts,that was how I got the connect.currently my clients are usually politicians and A-list celebs.there is no kind of house I have not been to .i‘ve done bedrooms,kitchens,etc.
I have never done interior for a single man or woman,so far all my clients are married.EVERY house I have done apart from just one of them,the husband ALWAYS asks me out on a date.I’m telling u.I have been on this job for four years,the house I’m building it’s from my job,everything I own is from my job.
but what can I do to stop this men from asking me out for christsakes!??? how many times will I say no?I’m very dedicated to my job and can never mix business with pleasure,one of these men gave me a car key,I refused.
wetin dey happen???there is no house that I step into(as long as the man is around) that he doesn’t try to find a way to contact me behind his wife!!
I’m not a runs girl,I do my job,I I make my money!
are married men like this?? na wa ooooooooo! I hope I’ll find a good man out there and God gives me the grace to keep saying no.
Your comments and suggestions are welcome.
note:I am not seducing anyone.
Notin dan to cont sayin no
My dear, nothing is wrong with you and it's so normal. When I was serving, I saw 'ween'! From every nook and crany. Married man disturbing an innocent, well dressed and behave girl like say dem never see woman. Of course, girls like u are rare and most girls will succumb and by d time they get married, they'll join the band wargons saying "All men cheat, let's pray". When they were busy cheating, they didn't know it was other people's husbands o. Abeg add it to your prayer request. That God will reward u. You didn't steal anybody's own. U will not have the 'own' dat will chase like this by Fire and in Jesus Name. Amen!!
Dear ……, good morning. I feel so sorry for you. You know what I think you should get yourself a wedding ring to use while doing all these married men's jobs. Try that let's see if it works. When you get to work for a single man, do not wear the ring. After all they are married and can only use you. See a lot of women looking for ways to tighten their vaginas or do they want you to now serve your future husband a loose vejay caused by another man? No way. Get yourself a ring, strictly for those jobs.
Btw, thank you for reading my blog and like a commenter said on a post, I think you summoned courage to send lovely this mail cos you read other people's mails. You will never know those people dear because what you see on the blog is not exactly what they send. It will be fair to let the ladies in your shoes also learn. I try to discourage my blog readers from being kinda selfish with what can help another woman.
Your mail touched me and I so so love hardworking women that's why I responded. You know, I told myself that since I'm getting too many mails from people saying I shouldn't publish on the blog and I do not have enough time to be responding to all by myself, then there is no point responding cos I know close to nothing about counselling. There are some counselors on the blog with professional advice that can change lives.
Please Olivia, will you let me edit and post or you feel your ID might be be given away? I respect your decision, anytime.However, it may not help me and other women out there. If you insist, I won't edit and publish sha. Congratz on your house. Hugs!!!
For me, buy a good ring, if possible both engagement and wedding and slid them on when you go for the first meeting OK. To Scare them away.
Enjoy your day and continue to be hardworking.
More hugs!!!
Eya
Madam thank you very much God bless you.I will await comment from other people.wearing a ring?well,do I have to. Remove that ring after the job?I am still single and want to get married o!LOL.my daughters dad has moved on.and is not even based in Nigeria.from my many suitors there is sm1 I want to settle for,like start something serious with,he is a public figure.what will he think about the ring?thank you ma,I really appreciate your love.
Wearing a ring doesn't stop d disturbance. Me da am married with ring men stil disturb mi. Wen I newly got married dis irritated mi so much buh now am used to it. I jst smile,say no and ignore. In btw, I tot once u av a ring on ur finger it mins ur off d mrkt buh dis days I don't understand men anymore. D mst annoyin s wen dey lyk wow! Ur too young to b married
#smh
@poster u can't do anytin just cont sayin no and b careful
Amen!!!!!!!!
A M Y, I agree with you. Wearing a ring doesn't stop some men from approaching a married woman.
I've read of instances where married pregnant women were approached.
Babe, keeping saying NO and please don't put yourself in any situation that these men would want to take advantage of you. Some men find it difficult taking NO for an answer so please watch and pray.
I'm proud of ladies like you! 😀
You'd just have to continue saying 'no'. I hope your dressing isn't too revealing. You know men deal with the visual and so if all your 'selling points' are on show, they may get a wrong message even if you think your dressing isn't over the top. If it's not the way you dress, then maybe you just happen to have a lot of he-goat clients lol.
I suggest you get a PA or a manager to be going with you regularly, that way, the disturbances will reduce.
Maybe you need to get an assistant to act as a buffer, if possible he could be male, well educated and can help with the job too. All the best.
Yes o…AMY, wearing a ring does nothing for the men o… It seems they even like it sef.
Dear Poster, whether you are married, single, underaged …in fact, if you put a bra on a pole, men will start toasting it. Just always stand ur ground. Be polite but mmake sure you dnt give them any wrong ideas. This is so that you dnt spoil ur name or give ur business a bad reputation.
From ur interactions on this blog, you'll see that wives blame other women more than their husbands. So just make sure on ur own part you're not sending any wrong signals innocently.
Wearing a ring,will not stop these useless men! Obviously you have never encountered these kind of men. Even when you flash the ring,so they can see that you are married,they don't care! The will rather ask you, so what???? There are no boundaries for them anymore ,bc for them,everyone is game
My dear, please stick to NO. Just like someone suggested get a PA that will be following you to those places. I applaud your zeal as a young lady. Plz kip up the good work,am so proud of people like you are. *hugs*
Oh lawd
Its tins like dis d@ make me wonder if marriage is worth any stress @ all.
I've bin in 3 serious relaxnships
Nd 2 be honest
Dey all ended sadly 4 me.
I was d perfect woman
Nd jst kept believing dere's a man d@ would treat me like I deserved
Bt now
I'm losing hope
Its rili sad
***MARY***
Oh Brandy take a rough danfo seat biko!
@anon 4.04, abeg give me link, i wan go read o. Kikikikiki, we don see d babe true colours tey tey na, no be 2day. She even dared Aunty Eya yday, mcheeew, i dey laf in india ni o.
*chews my remaining bitter leaf*
Probably you are too hot to overlook… I won't say you should tone down so as to look less attractive that might just be the reason you are getting the jobs.
Focus on your work, be suave with your clients so as not to get them angry, only 1 break in the chain of clients can affect many future clients… Simply just let business be business.
Nuff'Said!
Getting a PA may not necessarily solve anything cos technically, you are not a kid. If these men can still chase you even with a ring, even if your husband is your PA and accompanies you, they will still try to hook up with you. After all, they hit on you in their wives' presence.
Just keep being who you are. Anytime they try to hit on you, just keep telling them that "You are happily engaged to the love of your life and would like to keep your relationship with them strictly professional, and that besides, the 'wife', Mrs A, is such a wonderful person and I'm sure she'll do a better job than me, for you. It was nice doing business with you. Peace!".
Just be assertive, strict and straightforward about it. Don't give them a "Maybe/Okay/I will think about it". Just say "No". Don't give out a private number out or private bb pin. Give out only your work number.
Don't put yourself in a position where they can take advantage of you too. If they try to form "Come for a biz meeting over a drink", please go for that meeting with a colleague. Always.
Like Anon above said, just make it a prayer point to God to reward you by not giving you such men. You deserve way better!
Wearing a fake ring has made a huge difference for me. The disturbances stopped like magic
Word of advice to you ladies who feel your hotness is the problem. Sorry, check your dressing
Question. Why is it married women now dress more irresponsible than single ladies and yet complain of toasters?
my advice is to keep sayin no…….no no no no
Aunty eya please ring doesn't stop married men or single. Iam married but after giving birth, I lost my baby weight very fast so when I go out wit my son, I stil get winks and guys trying to 2have a chat esp married men. Btw I dress responsible, just have a lovly shape, I look 20 but iam 27.
Plus I remember attending a church prog when I was single, the pastor said something about spiritual implication of wedding ring when you don't have anybody
Babe I want to enter the interior deco biz too oh! Help a sister nah!
As for the toasting Part, just relax! It may never wnd, until u're 50!
When I was pregnant with my 2nd baby, a man I attended to in the office came toasting me, and when I told him I was married even after seeing my ring… He went like… He nor mata nah, ha! And I'm even pregnant sir! He nor dey too show nah..rolling his eyes. It was so disgusting enh!
But again check ur dressing too, becos this toasting thing is not suppose to be all the time, unless u're sending the wrong signal unknowingly.. Men can compliment you all the time, like I get most times, but toasting you all the time! Babe, adjust alittle.
Patsy
@ Aunty Eya: wat a stupid advice 2 give. How can u advice a single lady 2 wear ring while doing her Job just bcos dey re married. Wat it she gets 2 d place n d Son of d owner of d house or even a relation or friend of d married man likes her but gets discourage to even ask her out bcos of her ring.
Pls Eya tink b4 u Speak.
Can't u make a point without insult. #smh.
I wonder wat happend to " 'respect' s reciprocal"
If you would need a PA,email me at wesleybrains@yahoo.com I know someone I can recommend for you.I am proud of you and earnestly will Pray for you.One more thing,Please Check your dressing and,change it,Dress Smart and professional,including your tone.Always be snappy and o n the move.Develop a business tone and ethics that makes it difficult for a Man to delve into Love talks.Finally Pray hard and keep your mind busy.Warning! Don't cave in to their demands,it will destroy your business.You can have a dedicated 1 to 3 man crew to be running around for you but and make your appearance rare.God bless you.
POSTER : hello dearie,thanks for the advice,I have staff.male and female staff.my business is quite bigger than I made it sound.I don't do everything myself.I do not want to disclose the name of my interior design outfit but its popular among those that are involved in it.As for my dressing,I cover every single part of my body that should be coverd and do not show excess unnecessary flesh,BUT I am extremely fashionable,I have been since I was a baby,and I am very trendy in the most decent way u can imagine.I am the most fashionable person I know and do private wardrobe organisation and consultancy for most women.I can't be doing that if I dress indecent,I am just not the jean and T-shirt lady.also I have big hips and ass as well as bust,this information is clearly uneccesary but if u know mercy johnsons' shape then u know what I am talking about.even if she wears turtle neck floeing gown ppl will still stare.that's how it is with me.so what do I do?with all my ass,I can't star exposing flesh naa!lol,that will be too carnal.Also,about remaining proffesional,I am very very proffessional,but most of the wives always want to chat and chat and chat,although some are rude,but these houses u enter u can't do that with a straight face,u have to be smiling most of the time,because the business requires personal involvement,don't forget I enter into their bedrooms and etc.and if the don't tell a friend who will tell a friend,I wouldn't be where I am today.also there is the question of kids,I do kids lounge and kids room to,nusries and playrooms,etc,I also have to be friendly with these kids.the money they pay me no be moi-moi o,u have to collect it with a big fat smile!LOL.I thank you all for your comments and I love this blog.I am planning to enter into a private catering business soon,so aunty eya stay tuned.we might be business partners in future!I will just keep saying NO!!!
Great advice darl.
@poster, please help a sister na, iv always wanted to be a interior decor, wuld u please take me under your wing?
*an*
*an*