The Nigerian Woman’s Infertility, Her Husband’s Childlessness?

Hello Madam Eya,

Good evening and thank you for a blog like this. I am a regular reader but can’t leave comments because they won’t publish. Sorry I have to reply the women through your mailbox. 

It is shocking the rate at which the Nigerian woman is fast becoming selfish. I spent the whole evening reading insults hurled at the young lady because she is pregnant. What? See what western Education is turning the Nigerian woman into. When did a Nigerian woman’s infertility begin to become her husband’s childlessness and end of a lineage. This is sickening. I do not applaud the young lady for getting pregnant for a married man but come on, This man’s wife is unable to have children while he is fertile.

All these wives leaving comments and hurling abuses on this lady, would they do same if the man were to be their son or brother?  They claim to be Christians or believers in whatsoever they chose to believe. Didn’t Sarah give Abraham a woman to help him raise children?
Would they prefer  a man’s lineage dies because his wife is infertile? A good woman who truly loves her man will look for ways to help and please, no one should tell me about adoption because this is Africa and we still have a long way to go. After adopting, the man passes and his family rise up to tell the adopted child that he doesn’t belong there. Spare me the adoption story please. Every man would love to recreate himself. Every fertile man would love to see a piece of his flesh and blood crawling towards him. Trying to save one’s lineage does not in anyway reduce a man’s love for his wife, Take that from me.

I am married with three kids. If I had none and discovered  my wife can’t have kids, shouldn’t  it be a thing of joy to her that I got an apartment for the mother of my kids without bringing her home to become a second wife?  Polygamy is still very much a part of our culture. A man who respects his wife and tries to raise kids outside without marrying another woman should be praised. The young lady who agrees to give kids even without struggling to become a Co-wife should also be commended.

I am sorry but I had to say my mind, I think it’s high time we got back to our roots.
Jones

99 thoughts on “The Nigerian Woman’s Infertility, Her Husband’s Childlessness?”

  1. Whatever happens to IVF. Its men like u who goes about destroying young gals wt cash all in d name of leaving an offspring. Thank God ur wife is fertile otherwise u should hv done same to her. Msheeew

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  2. If it was the man who's infertile, will the woman be allowed to go sleep with another man? Abi u think women don't want see their flesh and blood crawl towards them? See how ure holding on to polygamy and claiming culture. Don't use culture to justify only things that favour u. If ure infertile will u let ur wife make babies with another man? A NIGERIAN MAN'S INFERTILITY, HIS WIfE'S CHILDLESSNESS.
    Secondly,why is the lady posting her story and claiming remorse and seeking for pity when she is obviously comfy with her act? I hate hipocrisy, if I'm bad I enjoy my bad and bear the consequences, if I'm good I enjoy my good, I'm a sinner and I don't need to seek justification when I do bad.

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  3. Oya oga jones answer ohhh…if u can get ur wife pregnant would u allow another man do it for u??????
    Yeye dey smell

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  4. Serious yeye dey smell,men and deir selfish ways.mind u if dey want a child outside d marriage,it shud b an agreement btwn both parties.dis man obviously went bhind his wife 2do it,n den bcos u re a man,u think u can justify cheating?God 4give u.tsssk

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    • I am also African American and I am marriws to a Nigerian man. I found out last year he was cheating and got another woman pregnant. I am 33, he is 34 and his girlfriend is 20. She already has two children with two other men and my husband is number three. I realized I am too young and pretty to accept his stupidity. I left his cheating butt on May 5th and I took everything with me including the cars. He can start over with his girlfriend who also has no job and no education. I will not be going back because I know I deserve better.

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  5. Papa Bomboy! You have come to defend ya brother abi? No wahala. I hope you dnt have a daughter and if you do, remember that no one knows tomoro. I hope you'll stand boldly and advice to go and look for a babymama for her husband. I hope you'll tell her to throw a party for her husband when she finds our her husband is dating and sleeping with another woman on the side.

    End of which lineage? Even if he is the only child of his father who was an only child of his grand-father who was an only child, there must be someone else. The uncles nko? To me that is a very selfish statement. Marriage is not all about kids. No one set out in life hoping to be infertile. He has vowed to stick with her for better for worse…which 'worse' is he waiting for? The reason why you wnt consider adopting is cos you would be among the uncles to reject ur brothers adopted child.

    I dnt cuss people but if I did, there are several words I wudav called you in Igbo, Yoruba and English… Which culture are you referring to sef? The one that circumcises young girls? Or kills twins? Or buries servants alive with their dead kings? The one that believes that some people are born outcasts? Which one?

    Obviously the fear of God is far from you, if not fear no go gree you type this trash. Women are selfish? Women are selfish?! Nigerian women are selfish?!!! With all the stories we hear on the news? With all the women forming Die-Hard on top their husbands? Today U say Nigerian women are selfish, tomoro you say they are timid and foolish for taking rubbish from their man. Abeg make una choose one o…

    When I saw ur post, I first thought you were trying to sympathize with the infertile woman. I no know say U wan defend ur brother in crime cos ur endorsing what he did means you can do it. I am sure you are cheating on ur wife with her three children cos men like you are never satisfied.

    May God help you!

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  6. Seriously Jones,I quite saw some rationale in what u've said. Thats one of the reasons after seeing the insults at the woman in the earlier post I was at loss on how to go about my opinion as it pertains the issue. Believe me sometimes we get to emotional with some issues,that we tend to throw away the baby with the bathwater.
    We were quick to judge the woman coz she said she came from a poor background and the man has been of great financial help to her. But by so doing we forgot that something good can still comeout from Nazareth.
    Just like Ace will put it if he was to comment,let us always put into consideration what is obtainable in our own society,let us always be realistic,how many men will still keep quiet and won't go out of their way to get a child when they know the fault aint theirs,even if he decides not to pressure from his immediate family won't let him.
    My mum is about 20 years older than her immediate younger brother,and during dat period her mum suggested to the husband to marry a wife that will give birth to children for the husband especially a male child.
    If u're married and u've a child or children,u need to be very grateful to God,my parents stayed 4years before I was born and my mum do tell me what my father went through being a married traditional ruler without a child not to talk of an heir to his throne.
    Plz lets try as much as possible to see reasons with each other.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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  7. Bona so u re a prince. Dats makes d two of us cos im a princess. Do u hv a gf if not cn u be my guy. Say yes nd I will gladly send u my details. At least two of us stay in d same abuja. No long tin

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  8. Let's Talk about the Touts on Wives Connection:
    After the incident on Wives connection when some faceless coward made the comment about me being a trouble maker and you can only blame Ahdaisy if you don't know sting, i was just done. I don't need this. I really don't.

    I stopped commenting on that blog because there seems to be a lot of touts, power rangers and minions who visit there and who have a follow-follow mentality. You need to be able to think for yourself and not just jump on a bandwagon. I still read the blog though because it is entertaining. I don't pretend to have answers to people's problems so why bother advising anyone. The only time i ever left a comment since that incident was for the lady whose husband had erectile dysfunction. It was a medical issue and since i have a bit of knowledge on that topic i left a comment.

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  9. I was reading the 2 face critique Eya posted yesterday and got to the comments and starting seeing people saying all sorts of crap about me. Ahdaisy was insinuating that i was the one who left a nasty comment for her, and did i not say i was never coming to that blog again (i guess she's the blog rep), and people jumping on the bandwagon and calling me out. I didn't even get to see some of the nasty comments about Ahdaisy because Eya had deleted them before i got there, but all the comments mentioning me were still up there for my viewing pleasure. I am not a coward and really don't have the time to be leaving anonymous comments for anyone. Apparently, certain people don't like the Ahdaisy chic for whatever reason. I had a problem with ONE comment that she made, i said something about it, and she no longer exists to me. Why would i go and be anonymously leaving her comments. She's a non-issue. Trust me when i say that if i have something to say i will use my blog identity to say it. No one is feeding me, paying my med school tuition and i don't blog for money, so what's that deal here? I'm supposed to be sacred of some random chic who has her own blog but wants to die on someone else's blog? You are so good at giving advice, why don't you set up your blog to do that and maybe make something out of it? You see how people don't have common sense?

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  10. Those anonymous commenters who left her those comments should have enough integrity to come back and say they did it, and it wasn't Sting because i don't have time for all that nonsense or for someone who feels that she knows it all. I don't know it all and i don't pretend to, neither do i think i am better than anyone for any reason.

    I was motivated to write this post for two reasons. Firstly, i just read The Salt chronicles (Desperate Naija Woman) where she talked about moderating comments. Eya was the first person to comment on that post and that's why i decided to write this post. She knows the kind of touts that visit her blog because she solicited them from Linda Ikeji's blog, which is why during the MARRIED controversy when someone was mouthing off about how Linda Ikeji's commenters have found their way to Eya's blog, i thought that was laughable. How do you think i found out about Wives Connection? She was actively advertising on there.

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  11. Knowing the kind of people who visit your blog with the fact that you allow anonymous comments, doesn't that come with some sort of responsibility to at least moderate comments? Why am i being accused of something that i didn't do, yet you delete certain comments and leave others? If it's all in a bid to generate views and comments, that's fine. In all fairness, I will add that the comments about me were deleted after I sent her an email to complain.

    Secondly, there's nothing i hate more than being accused of something i didn't do. As Eya did not address it, I have decided to. Believe me if you like, don't believe me if you like, that's not my problem. I have said what i have to say. Wives Connection touts, please find another target for your nonsense, leave my name out of your mouths and best believe that if i have a comment to make about your master, you will not have to guess who made it.

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  12. your point being???…..what has this ur ranting got to do with this 2nd wife issue on ground? *confused face*

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  13. Nne take five you are soooo on point. Don't mind him. He should go and read about the decendant of hagar before he opens his mouth to say rubbish. God is not man, his word can't lie. Adultery is a sin HoHa!

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  14. About the matter on ground. There are options like IVF, adoption etc. Forget this culture thing IMO it has destroyed more than it has helped. Consider people that call themselves custodians of culture how wicked and dubious they are. Some of them are politicans that loot our money, some are always sitting on d front seats in church making the highest donations but how is their heart? So many wickedness I don't even want to mention so iMO core culture has failed me. If not why didn't it save us from the white men. Anyway all I can say is marriage shld be respected. How old was Abraham when he had his son isaac? Even if you can't wait atleast adopt. I know some relatives that tried that option and it worked for them (thay adopted them @ infancy tho). My point is call a spade a spade what is bad is bad.she did the wrong thing worse of all behind d main wife's back

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  15. My dear sister, I'll say you brought your problem to the wrong place, Nigerian women are so defensive even in the face of their wrongs and reality, you now can confirm that.

    If they insult their hubby, treat him badly, deprive him of sex, starve him and even talk down on him in public they still expect him not do the following…. Stay late night with his beer at the joint, divorce them, get harsh and rash on them and even have a mistress!

    Forget african culture. That's why I like the white man, any mistake from both side leads to DIVORCE (I mean, just 1 mistake sef), if it were to be in the US that man won't wait for 9 frigid years to get himself a child, wallai…

    @Ahdaisy, sori you got it wrong this time.

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  16. @Ace: you're absolutely wrong about the "white men" next time just make ur point and leave out the comparisons. Again, this time, ure wrong about the "whites".

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  17. I am nt against my hubby getting a child from outside if I can't give him one. I love him too much to put him thru dat.

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  18. Ace, when it comes to issues of marriage, I see things only in black and white. Cos the bible does not mince words concerning it. That's why even Paul advised that you stay away from it if you can't handle it. Things are either right or wrong. No middle ground.

    Now, about the white man, 90% of what white men (not african american, not hispanic or latino), now, 90% of what the white man takes in a relationship, a Naija man cannot stand it! He can't and he wnt! When I go to forums on line especially those concerning baby care, how to raise kids and so on, I come across infertility forums also. My dear bro Ace, I used to see and unsee. You see people who have stayed for years without a child because of their wives' infertility. By years I mean 20-30 years. And the men say "we can't get pregnant' like the fault is from both of them. Some adopt eventually, while others are content with their wives like that.

    You hear of stay-at-home dads. How many Naija men can do that? Even the jobless ones still expect their busy wives to come back and do all the house work and feed him. Most white couples share their house chores 50-50, sometimes the man does more in addition to his Mr fix-it status as plumber, carpenter, painter and so on. How many Naija men can do that?

    I am not saying Naija men should be exactly like the whites but at least call a spade a spade when it is staring you in the face.

    Yes for them, little thing leads to divorce but at the same time, their terms of marriage so much favors the woman that an average Nigerian guy will cringe when he hears them.

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  19. Madam Sting, Please I very sorry. Pls forgive me. Let the past stay there. I wish that first incident had never happened, by now, we wudav been pals. I can see you are a very passioonate human being. It's very good. You'll go far in life with.

    Pls forgive me ok? And for someone who say I dnt matter, you spend an awful lot of time discussing me both here and on your blog (yeah I saw all of them). Just let this talkative opinionated always-online Ahdaisy be.

    My dear, my blog is not a daily weekly or even monthly publication. My blog is more like a blog you find on Google by chance when you need a solution to a particular need. Where I talk daily is here and Facebook.

    But that's not the point babe, let's let this thing go. Set me free from ur mind and embrace this Love I have sending to you. *hugs and kisses*

    Love ya

    You new found friend (I hope).

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  20. BOnario, I used to enjoy ur comments until nw. So its ok fo the man to get another woman pregnant if he's not infertile abi?wht if the tables r turned? Is it ok fo the woman to go kpansh another man if she's nt infertile? Ur case sef get hyphen, comma n apostrophe cus ur father was/is a traditional ruler n according to our "u mustu follow or die" nigerian culture, he dint want his kingdom to look @ him as a failure hence the need to find a quick solution. Is this man a king? Or queen? Or at least a kings servant sef? Abegi nigerian men r damn too selfish n selfcentred n as fo me av learnt to put myself first bf them too. #Askor#

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  21. I'm sori i have to deviate from the topic @ hand. I have bn following dis blog bt dn't comment. We used to be lik a big family before, giving our opinions and getting replies with love not bashing n insults. With all due respect i have also noticed dat dis blog now has a catel, once one of dem comments d oda comments follw in same pattern and any comments dat leaves their pattern gets bashing n insults. What happened to the good old days of this blog?

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  22. While I can understand the need to continue the man's lineage, I'm sure we are all aware of the use of surrogates. I know several people who adopted this process. What it means is that where the woman can't carry her child in her womb, she can pay another woman to do it for her. In this case the man would never get to sleep with the surrogate.

    The institution of marriage is sacred and should be regarded as such. Adultery is never NEVER justifiable. Don't get married if you can't keep your vows to your spouse, just don't.

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    • Spa-magic.You made a good point.That useless he-goat is ungrateful to his wife.I just feel pity for her(his wife)I hope God will direct the wife of these he-goat to handle this situation well.I continuing praying to God to leads me to my own future wife because all these stories here are really scary.

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  23. Ahdaisy, you've apologized! This extra comment is totally unnecessary. I enjoy your comments, but don't let all these get into your head. Just let it go.

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  24. @ ahdaisy, you just apologized to sting with hug n kisses what is d point of replying d comment down saying you feel sori for her? Girl in all honesty you are just too full of yourself

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  25. Check the time I did the comments. I made that one first before I decided it's not worth it and apologized. I am full of myself yet I apologized to someone who I owe nothing. Anyways, all these are not necessary. I will delete that comment.

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  26. Biko I need 2 know what sting point it. Cus I seriously don understand her above textbook. Every1 is in dis blog 4his or her sef. Ahdaisy shuld be allowed 2 comment as many times as she wants. Sting is also allowed 2 comment as many times as she wants. So watsup with Ahdaisy 2 comment,Eya remove,Sting dey vex??????*Confusedface*

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  27. Babe, check the time for both comments. It was this comment that prompted me to apologize cos I realized that something the dint bother me, actually made her feel bad. That was why I said I feel sorry for her. Pls, let's not make mountains out of a mole hill. The fights have gotten out of hand.

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  28. Why is all this happening? On sat I had to take d girls back to School and couldn't check on d blog early. When I saw ur mail, I told you dat I deleted everything, what was ur reply? Now u say that I deleted after you sent me a mail?

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  29. Shoouuuu dis is serious Ooº°˚. Na wah. Ahdaisy pls I love ur comments, u are nt full of urslf. Mak una comment,gv advise if una wan give. Stop d beef plssssss.Y do u bring jealousy in here. All bcus Ahdaisy comments and people love her comments it has turned in 2 a P. Pls comment if u want 2. Hv u eva seen Ahdaisy??? Y will u judge some1u hv nt seen dat she is full of her slf? Abeg mak una chill jare.

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  30. I don't like this thing, don't know how to do blog fights, i hate confrontations, i hate to exchange bitter words.
    This thing is killing me. Why is this matter still lingering?
    I came to your blog and apologised severally. I don't know what else to do.
    I am so confused I have a banging headache right now.

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  31. @ sting,sorry dear. Pls don't let d incidents stop u from making comments. I believe we all can gain from one another.
    Whatever anyone says its dr OWN opinion. It doesn't necessarily mean its everybody's. I know its not everyone here dt had beefs for you.

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  32. I just read what y'all have been saying. Am a lady and I really think sum of us are selfish. A case at hand is d one presently going on in my family. My uncle who stayed abroad in d 90's has 2kids(girls) from different women in different countries though(yea he was married to d ladies but divorced). Anyways, after he got back to nigeria in early 2000 he eventually got married to anoda lady in her early 30's(and yes, she was a virgin). But things happened,after some years she didn't conceive and it was discovered she had fibroid. She was operated upon but still to conceive. Now d tin is this my uncle ain't getting younger shuld be in his early 40's and wants to have his kids around. He has suggested they adopt or go tru IVF. But guess what his wife says" IVF is against catholic doctrine and she will never do it, as for adoption if its a girl she will carry but if its a boy she won't"" my fellow readers,will u blame d man for gettin a girl pregnant and whom just delivered 4 him a bouncing baby boy? No I don't cos he's been patient but my so- called aunt is hell bent on her catholic doctrine…D only tin I blame my uncle 4 was not informing her all this while about d 'other woman". And d problem now is how to break d news to her,he's pained cos he loves her just that she fails to see beyond her doctrine….

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    • Ama Williams want to kill me with laugh.I noticed that a lot of women are very pissed by the action of that He-Goat.Ladies take it easy oooo.

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  33. Mr Jones,u're entitled to ur opinion,so is everybody. What is annoying is ds girl coming here to discuss ds. So that what may happen? Of cos she knows what she wants. She's not d 1st person to do ds,neither will she be d last.

    Wise men have d understanding ds days dt taking 2nd wives is not good. Why do u think it has reduced? Unlike some years ago when it was no big deal at all and dy flaunt it anyhow then? Ds days when dy make d mistake,dy so code it!

    I just hate people that feel they can play on my intelligence.

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  34. I call on all d good ppl on this blog to pls help me apologize to Madame Sting.
    I apologize on behalf of myself, Ahdaisy, Anonymouses and the touts if any. I am truly deeply sorry about everything.

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  35. Aunty eya please try and post food today o. at least it can help to reduce tension. I still don't see any reason for these fights. And it's about time we start our secret recipe thing so we can explore our creative side rather than sit around and fight each other.

    PS: learn to develop bullet proof for people's words. Don't take it too p. Just pick the ones you can and do away with the rest.

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  36. @Sexy A, this matter started loooong ago. Check old old posts where the fight Sting and ahdaisy started.
    D mata wen u see so, e tey wey e start.

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  37. Its obvious someone went to Sting's blog and lifted a genuine post on how irritating blogsphere has become and posted it here in part to make it personal.
    Ahdaisy, you need to get your life together and stop craving attention. I've watched your snide remarks at Sting and I must say its people like you that bring reproach to Christiandom.
    Eya, if you werent so desperate for traffic, you would have put an end to this issue since and stop wallowing in apologies.
    Bunch of supposedly married women with kids acting like idiots. I wonder what you teach your kids.

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  38. Who is dis Sting sef wen dem dey beg she no dey hear????Aunty Eya has evn gone 2 ur blog 2 beg u. Wats ur p?Abeg mak una bone her jare.pasteFoodpls *Shinesteeth*

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  39. N u saying dey r actin like Idiots is wat a xtian shud b doin. Makes so much sense.Evrytin u ppl wan2 bring xtianity in2 it. Cos she is a xtian she shud take it.I c u r sting's friend.

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  40. Someone obviously lifted this blog post from Madame Sting's blog just to cause drama and it worked.
    If she had actually posted a comment here, you would have seen the link to her blog, not just a name.
    Please I think everyone needs to give it a rest.
    Not everyone will like or agree with you, that's just the way it is.
    What I don't agree with, however are insults and all these snide comments. I remember I've disagreed with Ahdaisy and even Eya but I didn't have to insult them to get my point across.

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  41. Madam abeg ur uncle doesnt have same issues as d man who got dt lady pregnant … Did anybdy tell u dat d man suggested adoption or ivf to his wife and she refused b4 he went to commit adultery? Plz park well

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  42. Prejudice is darn "crazy"

    I never believed Nigerian women by instinct feel any urge to make apologies. In my few experience dating that is one area I know women are unified, they find it hard to apologize when wrong or perceived wrong. But here, AhDaisy & Aunty Eya just proved me wrong.

    The truce is made, "Madam Sting" prove me wrong one more time by just accepting their apologies and also dropping ur's also for some harsh words used during the crossfire. From far & near, we are a family already.

    Bye fam…
    earthworms are faster than lagos cars today #LagosTraffic.

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  43. Okayyyyy!!!!! now I see. Sting wants traffic on her blog and she thinks the best way to do so is by raising dust on other people's blog. Thank God she said Eya begged for followers from Linda Ikeji's blog and not her own blog. Eya please pray against agents of confusion as it's obvious SOME PEOPLE are out to create serious confusion and bitterness in this well designed medium where people share life's experiences; be it in the area of cookery, parenting and relationship issues. Let all genuine wivesconnection blog readers ignore these elements and lets enjoy this blog like we use to. Another quick advice to Eya, please moderate comments on this blog. Any comment a reader makes is that readers opinion about that issue, if anyone has a contrary opinion, write it and not abuse someone else. Infact am taking over from Ahdaisy, am now the new blog Rep.

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  44. Dear Mr. Jones. I pray that God ministers to your soul. Wasn't Jesus adopted by Joseph? What lineage do you have to defend in heaven? Once you close your eyes in death, you leave the world and everything in it. I urge you, don't say things that would disturb the peace of everyone here. What if you were sterile and couldn't have kids of your own? Let's stop being selfish and put ourselves in our neighbours shoes. I don't think it's right to rub the number of kids you have on this blog. The girl did something wrong, yes! Those that decided to condemn her, did so, not because they just wanted to do it, but because wrong is wrong and right is right.
    My advice to you is: fall on your kneels and beg God for forgiveness because the power to be barren or fertile lies in His hands and not ours.

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  45. Itz sting dat posted it jare.look at the comment very well.if she did not post it here why is she asking de real anonymous to own up?or does she azume dat ever1 on this blog reads her blog 2? She also called herself a tout coz she admitted she also came here from lindaz blog.she posted it here without her blog link so dat people will not go and attack her on her blog like the last time.she iz alwayz lamenting n complaining on her blog.so evribori it iz ok.

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  46. The fear of the lord is thé beginning of wisdom=a cure to all foolishness including selfishness, insenstivity,hatred & others.

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  47. Have I not being telling Eya? So many pple ve told her 2 be approving comments. Linda her mentor does. Abusive and derogatory comments will be putting many well intentioned pple off. Ds blog is veiwd as a decent one and its fast losing dt. Has she not noticed dt some frequent pple 4rm earlier on ds blog don't comment again?
    I have an advice for Adhaisy,learn not to reply every cricism on u. It reflects pOorly on u as a married woman. If u feel ds strongly abt pple u don't know and don't see,how will ur response be to colleagus,ur husband etc,who u see when dy dare say anytin bad abt u?
    Sting,if u're reading ds,pls let it go! Talking on n on about it won't do anytin for u. If u don't want to comment again,its ur decision. @ least,u don't know this girl outside ds blog. If she chooses 2 comment every minute,dts wat she wants to do.it needs not make u lose sleep.

    Eya! Post food abeg!

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  48. Am so angry right nw dt i dnt even kno wht 2 say 2 Mr jones. D evil dt men do will definitely com bck 2 haunt them. what u sow u'll reap. let ur conscience b ur judge, dt is if u ve one. it is well.

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  49. Whoever put this up as madame sting is just being mischievous. This comment was not put up by her but a rabble-rousing impostor. Madame Sting did put this up as a post on HER OWN BLOG but this series of comments is certainly not her. I have been reading her blog for a while and one thing I can say for her is that she is very direct. She also has a peculiar/unique signature when she comments on blogs and this is not her please! Shame on whoever copied and pasted her post from her blog and put it here as comments! Stop trying to start something where there is nothing to start!

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  50. , i have often time advised people to chose which part of life they want to follow, if you want to follow culture fine, follow culture, if you want to follow the Bible, follow the Bible strictly. in you read genesis 2:24 it says " this explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one" it says that is why the two are united as one, this strictly points to monogamy, Gods original plan for mankind is a monogamous marriage. You spoke about Sarah and Abraham, do you know why the Bible was written, read 2 timothy 3:16 all scripture is for teaching rebuking, correcting and training, in righteousness. For that means that it is not all the stories in it we are to emulate, we are to read them and learn from the mistakes therein. if you have read the story of Sarah and Hagar, you will see that the decision was made without Sarah seeking God's face, and after that Hagar treated Sarah with contempt. Look at genesis 16:12 at the prophesy of Ishmael it says he will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey, he will raise his fist against everyone and everyone will be against him, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives. Let us learn to read the Bible properly and find out God's will for us. The problem we have is that we will say we want our culture and then when things turn out bad we will return to God to make things right. Please and please when we see something is wrong lets say it, not for you to turn and say Nigerian women are selfish, you have not heard the story of this woman, as a woman I know that it’s not Childs play to stay 9years without a child, you don’t know all the sacrifice she has made, and the shame and torture she has bore for this 9years, for you to come and tag her selfish is not right at all.

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  51. Oga Jones – if no bi say you claim to have children, I bin think say na you bi the man wey give the lady bele. What is wrong can never be right! Haba, where is our dignity?
    If we are not careful, some of us will justify a father sleeping with the daughter because he wants a male child.
    Though one would not pray to be in this situation, what the man, lady, & aunty did cannot not ()should not) be justified.
    Bros, it was good for you to say your mind… but sha, would you be happy for your wife to go have sex with some men outside if you discovered you have infertility problem? What root are you trying to get back to? Have you not heard people’s testimonies of how God visited them after years of barrenness? An come to think of it – who says marriage is incomplete without children?

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  52. Mr Jones! Mr Jones!! Mr Jones!!!!!!!!!

    When pple cite OT in the bible as reason 4 polygamy, I wonder wt happened to NT and the coming of Christ. #Justsaying

    So back to u Mr Jones, if a man's lineage shldnt end, shld a woman's?

    If it were to be the man who was impotent, what do u think shld be done? She shld marry a 2nd husband abi?

    U want us to go bk 2our roots? Abi? Bk 2 killing twins? And all those stuff abi?

    For me, the husband and wife shld discuss their problem and cm up wt sth that suits both, taking their faith into consideration.

    Luchi

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  53. Can we sheath the swords pls. May God help our comments. Did you read the part that it was Sarah that gave hagar to Abraham to sleep with…Abraham didn't go behind sarah's back to sleep with her. Even at that,did you see what hapened to Ishmael…that Scripture was written for us to learn something. Listen dear….the world has gone so morally wrong that people are scared to speak out against evil because some other people will say they are being judgemental. What is wrong is wrong. We all have our past and our stories,the fact that that I had a past does not mean I will want my child to follow that path at all. So please when we see something that is not good,let's speak against it to make the world better. Evil progress when the good men do nothing.

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  54. My dear Eya from one mature woman to another, enough of the apologies already. I'm sure all the parties involved have read your apology. Everyone is entitled to their comment. I personally love madam Sting and Ahdaisy. I love your blog. Keep up the good work. Don't stress yourself love.

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  55. Oga poster, based on ur qstn, should a man who's impotent not also be grateful if his wife gets another man to do his job and also move to his apartment since he's in fact the rightful owner of her kids(s)? When d bible said "bear ye one another's burden and so fulfill the law of christ", it ws very well articulated. Mr. Jones, if I may ask u, hw can u fulfill God's plan 4 marriage if u put the burden of ur wife into consideration? Even if we follow the Qua ran, I don't think it's in support of a man getting a mistress pregnant before takin her in as a wife. Uncle Jones, d Qua ran abhors this immoral act. And if you are talking about the African roots, any reasonable man would not secretly get a mistress pregnant; the wife would normally be aware of his intentions. If an action is wrong, it shouldn't be justified. It's quite appalling that the Nigerian society has gradually become morally bankrupt. Mr. Poster, I leave you to your thinking faculty. Mary.

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  56. Eya I think d fundamental problem here is d pity party, ridiculous stories U kp putting up.
    U honestly need to reduce its frequency.

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  57. Abeg where una tuk say d fight happen, mk I use am laugh.
    I hvnt visited ds blog in a yl thanks to all the unhealthy stories.
    Eya I am repeating myself for emphasis o.
    Reduce the rate at which U upload those stories or even tk a break n gv us plenty healthy recipes.
    Meanyl google the wonders of baking soda, it will mk a good post for ur blog.

    Reply
  58. I see someone has learnt how to copy and paste. Whoever did this got what they were looking for. I said what i had to say on MY blog. Eya, no one wants to get into a blog fight with you. The purpose of my post was to make it clear that if i have a comment to make about anyone, i would not be doing it anonymously. As a very smart person rightfully said, if i had posted those comments, it would have linked back to my blog.

    Whoever wants to be mischievous can carry on. You apparently have too much time on your hands. You people should please free me.

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  59. The trend here is women are against Jones opinion and men are for it. For me, I have seen enough things to know what obtainable in our society. No matter what people say, when the koko occurs, it isn't the sentiments that are being expressed here that would come to pass. Most people's opinion would differ if it is their family member. It is quite different if the issue is that you are having girls only. Besides, can someone please quote from the Bible where polygamy is a sin? Christianity as is practiced here came with Western influences. Pls don't diss unnecessarily.

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  60. I talk am before say you want traffic for your blog na make you dey raise dust for here. So you also have a food blog and want viewership. The way to go about it would have been to solicit for followers from wives connection (Like you claim Eya did on LIB). Okay!!! Thank You! Thank You!! Thank You!!!. I have visited your blog and will continue to visit, Can you please drop this bitterness already

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  61. Na wa for you this madame sting! Na so you like quarrel? Your husband go see you beat well well o. All these women wen dey like to get the last word for every argument, una go just turn punching bag for una husband. chiee! Make God help you seriously because the bitterness n anger wen you carry heavy Nigeria

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  62. Sting wants traffic? You are joking right?
    It is Eya that wants traffic,that is why she is copying and pasting these stories here to attract advertisement!
    The matter is resolved, don't pour more fuel on it to rekindle it!
    Please let peace reign! OKAY! Thank you!

    No! This is not Sting! I like and respect her person.

    Reply
  63. To all that are listening i want to thank the great spell caster Dr.Shekirry for a wonderful work he has done,before now i have been living in this word of tears and sorrows every day that pass this was as a result of my inability to get a child for my husband he had married me for about five years and since five years i could not get him a child,His family people was even the worst of it they advised my husband to get another wife so that he can get them a grandchild but for the fact that we love each other very much he promise that he will never leave me for another woman since we love each other very much although we were both happy but i still feel very bad for not getting pregnant for him,i have tried all the different hospital but no one could help me they where all saying the same thing that my womb have been tempered with due to surgical operation i had that affected my womb as a result of a serious accident i had long time ago when i was still 15 years old.
    I have thought of many ways to get my problems solve but it seems all effort came to nothing,because off my thinking i also develop a heart problem but all this things are now things of the past due to the help of Dr.Shekirry,i came across him on one faithful day i can never forget the they i was introduce to this great spell caster by my cousin Mr Daniel living here in USA who he helped to save his marriage a long time ago i am so very happy to have him as my cousin i contacted the great spell caster and he told us not to worry that every thing will be alright he casted a wonderful spell and as i speak now the same doctor who said i can never be able to get pregnant have confirmed that i am 2 months pregnant all thanks to the spell caster Dr.Shekirry and come to think of it all my heart problem has also stop what a wonderful miracle my whole heart is full of joy its an on usual miracle so there listeners if you are looking for a help that need urgent attention beyond your power the only Spell caster i can recommend for you is Dr.Shekirry you can contact him through his email:shekirryspellcastingtemple@gmail.com or phone:+2348154053024 for fast and easy solution to all your problems.I know that after he is done with you you will also come here to testify

    Reply
  64. I'm an American married to a Nigerian man, and just found out the my husband has cheated while visiting Nigeria and the girl is now claiming to be pregnant. The girl is 38, has never been married and no other children. I question what she says is true. As for my husband, he will be returning home in the next few days, I am seriously considering divorcing him. Long before we married, he clearly knew what I would divorce him for adultery. I'm not sure what a Nigerian wife would do, but I know what an African American wife would do… let's just say… I will be waiting on his no good cheating butt at the airport doors!

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  65. HELLO, i have read testimonies about this great man called Dr. Sambo how he helped people to get pregnant and also help people to cure HIV with his herbal medicine, so i decided to give him a try, i am here today to give my own testimony on how this great man helped me to cure my HIV disease and also helped my sister to get pregnant, i just told him and he said he was going to work on it miraculously and in a short period of time i was lifted from these terrible disease. And it took my sister just a week to get pregnant after he was done. Contact this great man and He will help you no matter the the problem you are facing. Email him at sambolaherbalcurecentre@gmail.com

    Reply
  66. HELLO, i have read testimonies about this great man called Dr. Sambo how he helped people to get pregnant and also help people to cure HIV with his herbal medicine, so i decided to give him a try, i am here today to give my own testimony on how this great man helped me to cure my HIV disease and also helped my sister to get pregnant, i just told him and he said he was going to work on it miraculously and in a short period of time i was lifted from these terrible disease. And it took my sister just a week to get pregnant after he was done. Contact this great man and He will help you no matter the the problem you are facing. Email him at sambolaherbalcurecentre@gmail.com

    Reply
  67. I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is atilahealinghome@yahoo.com

    Reply
  68. I am African American women Dating a Nigerian man He Has been in the United States for 2 years And we have been dating for 6 month we both agreed we would just be dating nothing serious But now my feelings have Change I love him don't He has told me he cares for me a lot I know there's not a chance that we can never be married He wants children and I'm not able to give him children he has told me that I really make him re- think what he wants in lifis there a chance him may changr his mind and consder me as his wife i love him and i know he loves me but he so desperately want children I would even be willing to search for surrogate mother we spend every minute that we have together we are constantly on the phone are you texting each other I just need some advice will you ever love me like I love him only ever consider marrying me I feel if I was able to have children we would be married right now I feel that not being able to have children is the only thing holding him back,

    Reply
  69. My name is JOY EDWIN from UK .I am here to give testimony on how I got my husband back. My husband left me for no reason 3 years ago. He moved in with another woman, I felt like killing myself, my life became very bitter and sorrowful. Then 1 day, a friend of mine told me about a great spell caster that is very good and, he said he gave him some lucky numbers that he played in a lottery and he won. I didn't believe it because I've worked with so many of them and it didn't work. He begged me further so I decided to try this great spell caster called DR OBEYED. I still didn't believe. I used the spell he gave me and the next day I received a call from my darling husband Thomas last month. He apologized and came back to me. He even gave me 10,000USD as a means of compensating me. I'm very happy now. Thank you DR OBEYED, You can reach him via email:drobeyedspellcaster@gmail.com

    He can solve any problem like,
    (1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) you need a divorce in your relationship.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women & men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband & wife to be yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial stance.
    (9) He can make you pregnancy.
    (10) He can cure you from any diseases.
    (11) He can cure Deafness

    Contact him now, and smile forever :drobeyedspellcaster@gmail.com

    Reply

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