Hello Aunty Eya, after reading the recent confessions you posted on the blog, I feel compelled to share my story too. My confession is not to ask for advice or tips but just to be able to anonymously talk about this after all this while. Hiding behind my Ipad to unburden without disclosing my identity is so much fun. Even if you don’t post, at least you have read my story.
As embarassing as it is to say, I am not all that convicted. And that makes me feel bad. Two weeks before me and my husband got married, he cheated on me. When I found out I was devastated. I had never cheated on him in the 2 years we have been together and I just couldnt wrap my head around why, after all he did to ask me to marry him. At first I was hurt, and I said I love him and I want him to stay so I will forgive him. Then the more I thought about it the more mad I became.
His bestfriend randomly texted me one day saying how proud he was of me and that he was sure I would look beautiful in my wedding dress. Then it all started. I told him how he had cheated on me, and the more I talked about it. The more angry I became. I went and hung out with him a two times and we didn’t have sex we just talked. He kept telling me I deserved better, and that I didnt need to go through with it. I still went through with the marriage, and I was miserable. Our honeymoon was terrible, and all I could think about was his friend. I stopped texting him because it seemed like the right thing to do plus his girlfriend at the time was mad jealous of me. Posting pictures of them on facebook to throw in my face when I know that its not what it seems and does some runs on on the side for extra money, I knew her back in the University with uncountable carry overs every semester.
When hubby and I came back from the honeymoon everything started to sink in. I promised myself I wouldn’t text him….but I broke that promise. We started hanging out more, and on the 5 of August I gave in. After many shots at his house having his birthday party, we snuck off to the pool, where it started getting hot and heavy. We made out. I had never been touched by another man besides my husband and I had never wanted anyone to just take advantage of me in every way possible…and he did. After the third time we lay down in the grass while my drunken husband is inside getting himself even more drunk and stupid. It was silent, but not as awkward as I thought it would be. I have known him for over one year, so it was almost natural. We both agreed that nothing can ever come off us, and after coming inside to my husband and driving his alcohol soaked self home, I felt guilty. I havent slept with my husband since I started having his friend. I just can’t bring myself to do it…I feel so dirty yet everytime I meet up and tell myself I wont do this again, I still I do. And I feel bad that I don’t feel too bad. Revenge is not the best but it keeps me happy maybe.
Clap for yourself!
I didn't want to post this since you stated that you don't need advice but changed my mind because I know you'll still read the advice. Stop it now so you don't end up like the stubborn housefly that followed the corpse into the grave. That short term thing won't last for ever and the after taste is going to be very bitter in your mouth. The day his friend starts feeling guilty, he'll dump you, you'll suffer the heartbreak and suffer hell fire again after you die of STDs, GOD FORBID.
You have fallen real hard even though you still are in denial. Even when Solomon and other Biblical heroes married many wives, how many of their wives revenged by marrying many husbands. You are hurting yourself. If you couldn't forgive him, you should rather have called off that wedding and lived your normal life. Now you are never yourself, worrying about what might happen in case you get caught. Repent and do the right thing.
"you'll suffer the heartbreak and suffer hell fire again after you die of STDs, GOD FORBID." aunty Eya I laugh in Chinese no be small tin u don't need advice so I won't give u any I'm just here to laff *sips lipton*
Abegi! Why don't you all advice the men to stop cheating on their wives too? When men cheat oh it's normal for men to cheat but when women do thunder and lightening will rain down from heaven. Are we all not human beings with emotions? Why is the woman expected to be strong and be the bigger person while her husband continues to hurt her? The pain and devastation they cause we women because they cannot control themselves. If men suffered the consequences of their actions from society like women do, they will suddenly be better able to control themselves. They will continuously cheat on their wives and expect the wife to forgive them yet they cannot take it if the wife cheats. Rubbish. Please my dear, take your happiness where you can.
Please dear stop, you are miserable so just stop. Stop work on your marriage or take a walk. You deserve to be happy but not like this.
Best comment ever!!!!