Anonymous4, 2013 at 10:50 PM
Important question. Aunty Eya please post. Is it right or normal for a Mother-In-Law to cook in her son’s house under any circumstances?
I had to copy this comment for you guys to share your opinions. I see nothing wrong with
a mother-In-Law cooking in her son’s house if she has a great relationship with her Daughter-In-Law.
The problem is when she tries to cook to prove that it’s her son’s house and she can do whatever she likes, She refuses to eat what is provided and opts to cook her own meals herself. Sometimes, a wife’s life is so busy that she is thankful to God when a family member is around to help ease her stress. A good mother-In-Law is a blessing, she tries to make life better for her son’s family and not ruin it, she is full of wisdom and tries her best to camp with her son’s wife to enable enjoyment of her Daughter-In-Law’s goodwill. A wise mother doesn’t go fighting and making trouble with her son’s wife.
What do you think about a Mother-In-Law cooking in her Daughter-In-Law’s kitchen? Are you OK with it?
I don't pray my mother in law lives with me for any reason. All this queenly treatment I receive is just to let her come I know. Once they step feet into your house, they change automatically and start trying to show you it's their son's house, forgetting that you championed their coming.
I am the original poster Aunty Eya. She says no one can cook her type of food. We're from the same place so it's not a cultural difference. It's annoying because my kitchen is tiny enough as is. She and fil stay for a month or more at a time and she insists on cooking meals through out this stay. Even when cooking for hubby, she wants to watch what I'm doing to see if I'm doing it right. I'm a caterer o. I work long hours and it would be lovely to get help once in a while but she finds fault with every single thing including my cooking. I have hypertensive parents I cooked for before marriage so special requirements aren't an issue. Last visit, she actually came in while I was cooking under he guise of helping, went to my pot of stew and was commenting on the different parts. EG you like ponmo, ahh nice snail etc. It was just weird. Maybe it's a Yoruba thing but I was brought up to stay away from another woman's cooking pot of stew unless invited to help yourself including my mother's pot. I feel like I have to draw the line somewhere. Eat whatever I cook and go back to your house early if you don't like it.
Absolutely nothing wrong as long as she doesn't infringe on the wife….
What do you say about the omuguo circumstance where mother inlaws also cook in the house, or don't they?
It also depends on how you see it, a woman won't complain if her mom is the one living with them and her mom is doing the cooking, but when it's the mans mom… Yea, she's passing her boundary.
How do you really justify who cooks or not. If you eat other ppls mothers food at the local restaurant or fast food why can't any of ur moms cook?
Just'Asking!
I once asked my mother inlaw to come to Abuja cos she was sick. It turned out horrible. Now I don't even want her anywhere near my house.
Some use omugwo period to enslave the new mother. Instead of serving her, they expect her weak self to serve them.
I'm nt marid o! Bt ders nufin wrong wit ma moda in law cukin as long as its lyk a treat 4 ha son or somtin. Bt wen she decides nt 2 eat wht I cuk, den ders wahala. Bt again it depends on d rappot btw both of us. I won't hv a prob wit ma mum cukin so she also has d same ryt as ma mum. Jst as long as she doesn't use it as a ploy 2 mak prob.
A mother in law is suppose 2 eat wat she's served!u can't come 2 someone's house and be d king there,hell No!it's suppose 2 be d mother of d bride that will cook 4 d family,that is wen d lady gives birth,and since they're from d same place there's no big deal in eating wat her daughter in law prepared. A man's mum isn't suppose 2 cook her own meal 4 any reason.
Am lost here oooh, if your mum cooks, it's perfect but when your mother inlaw does its becomes *another woman's pot* SMH.
So what happens to your " people will be my People"
Just saying my opinion. Ace has helped me typed my exact thoughts.
Unless mama is capable of diabolical tinz.
No offence buh pls listen to ursef, jst imagine your inlaw refusing your mum to come visit your broda. Fine there are wicked mother-in-laws, buh there are stil few good ones out there.
Thank u my dear
Pls madam where is it written dat its only d ladies' mum dat can cook. Women just tend to be selfish sometimes, I'm a lady and I knw wat I'm talking about. Be at peace wit ur mother-in-law as much as u can. Buh be wise as well and shine ur eyes, lol
So far as there's a good relationship between us, she can cook all she want while I get all the rest I need. *btw, my mum inlaw rocks* Oly
Men,I still nid2sit my fiance down n ask sum few questions b4 marriage o,I'm so GLAD his mum isn't in naija sha n d 1st tym I wud c her wud b few weeks 2our wedding,I know I wudnt b able2stop her 4rm cooking bt I feel its wrong,wateva she wants2eat she shud send me,am a professional caterer,I'll do it4her,plus dats y we av aunty eya*wink*,she go help me with recipe n method on how2cook.my mum doesn't even cook in d family house now,na 4my matrimonial home she go cum dey cook?I doubt o.am jus grateful she's based in US n as such my boo isn't even hooked cos dis subject is delicate,if u jam man dat is mummy's boi,its jus2hands off n b watching d woman take ova,God 4bid
My mum in-law can be nice but pretends a lot. She won't cook or help with the new baby but will not hessitate to report to her son if food burn while am attending to the baby. And she won't miss any meal
When I have just had a baby and its just you and your mother in law After the 1st 2 wks. Had a cs.mother in law has alcer must eat on before 9. Lunch on or before 2 pm.only cares for baby. Mehn. You would pray she agrees to cook.my mat leave was stressful…when I reached my limit,after 3 mths luckily she said was leaving.I ran 4 a better pampering@my mums place who could be with me because of her job. I love my new mum alot but I wished she cooked because if for any reason i went somewhere and didn't return early she would rather snack on biscuit. I always felt bad.I think she thinks it another woman kitchen …but mum I was just healing.
I hate to think about that time of life but*wipes tears and braves up*
Lessons learnt :next time.I would hire someone to do the cooking if she is the one staying ***alliswell#
Pls be my guest!cook away! I no send dats holiyday 4 me jare na she go tire na.
*couldn't
I don't see anytn wrong in my mother in law cooking,wat if u jst had a baby nd she comes 4 omugwo,will u b d one cooking 4 her when u ought 2 b resting?hw wld u feel if ur mum goes 2 ur brother's house nd d wife refuses her 2 cook,so she has 2 wait till whenever the wife cooks 2 eat even if she is hungry.I dnt even care if my mother inlaw eats something diff 4rm what I cook.what if she does eat okro soup nd dats wat u cooked,do u compel her 2 eat it cos its ur house?we should all remember that we will b mother in laws 2.so treat others d way u want 2 b treated
U nailed it dear
My mother in law came 4 omugwo when I had my 1st child. She is a very nice woman no doubt but I felt she was trying to be careful not to step on my toes but it annoyed me. I was doing my masters so I was going 4 lectures and @ d weekend I cook enough and stock up d fridge and tell her 2 plz serve herself wateva and warm it up in d microwave but funny enuf she won't eat anything apart from breakfast I served her from 8am till I get back at 6pm. When I got to kno this I'll rush back home quick to serve her or immediately I get home I get into d kitchen 2 sort her out straight away b4 I even carry my baby I haven't seen all day. We r from different tribes(I'm yoruba my hubby is edo) n she promised to teach me how to cook all sorts but she neva boiled ordinary water till she left for 4months she was with us.
My 2nd n 3rd preggy I told my hubby dat no need 4 his mum to come coz I'm experienced enuf now.
BTW she was very good with bathing n looking after d baby as well as helping to tidy up.I kno deep down that she is nice but mayb its her belief or culture dat frowns against cookin in her daughter inlaws kitchen or dishing food from her pot.
i don't and won't have a problem with my mother in law cooking when i get married as long as the intent is not to cause rife. i always say i love my mother in law already and i pray and believe she'll have mad love for me.
If my mom can go to brothers' house and cook for them. then why can't my mother in law cook for me?
i don't mind at all oh lol.. except if she's being a mean person.
Me i am a guy o, and my mama na very correct woman; but when it comes to cooking she is a very picky woman. My sisters dont get spared if they fuk up in the kitchen, as mumsi will treat thier fuk up right away. And been that she doesnt pretend i wont like her to treat my wife's fuk up, lol. My Fiancee is over sensitive and she will start to think all sorts of things; my solution will be for my mama to do most of the cooking when she is around. if she tire she will either go with the program and enjoy my baby's cooking with no or minimal complaints or go back to my father's house, lol.
U be correct guy. I think is in the guys hands to control their mother's n their limit cos if woman talk now na wahala
Good advice. It depends. I cooked a good meal for my in-laws. They said they liked it, and I knew it was good. But then my mother-in-law said next time she came to visit she could cook. At first I was a little miffed, but then I thought about it some more. Although I'm still not pleased about relinquishing my kitchen to her, I realize that she might be sad not to be able to cook for her son anymore. She really enjoys cooking for her family. And since I'm heavily pregnant, it'd be nice to not have to cook for an evening or worry about finding a good restaurant that everyone would enjoy.
So you know, next time she comes, I'll say, "I'll take this night and you take that one." Or maybe I'll let her bake some muffins or something. She makes good muffins.