Should I Reconcile My Parents?

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Good Morning Eya,

Please I have an issue that has been bothering me for a long while. My parents have been separated since I was 12. Now I’m 26 and they are still separated and both of them are not married. My mum left because my dad was always hitting her. She left 3 times before and my dad will beg her then she will return before she left the final one. Even then, we as the kids usually pray that they separate because my mum is the one suffering from the beatings ,we could barely do anything  to stop the beatings and it was also embarrassing as it was only our parents that was always fighting and quarreling. 


Now, that we have grown, and my parents have still not remarried, i don’t know if it will be a good thing to try and reconcile them, because anytime I talk to dad about mum he’s like “that your wicked mother that left when you people were kids, I trained all of you single-handedly. She is not worthy to be called a mother” I have argued with him and it usually leads to angry and bitter words and I have learned to keep silent. Also when I talk to mum, she’s like ” that your wicked  and mad father that wanted to kill me in his house. He is not someone you can live with o. I hope you people are coping and he is not shouting at you like he does to me o.” When I argue, same bitter and angry words. After trying unsuccessfully to  talk to them, I just remain silent.

Now, I am hoping that since they have both aged(dad is 50, mum is 44), maybe I should start talking to them again because I don’t want them to remain single and lonely. I am the only one in the house with dad. The last born is in school and only come home for hols. When i eventually marry, who will be with my dad? who will cook and do the small chore for him? who will keep him company and listen to his different stories? I just want them to be together once again. I don’t think my dad still has the energy to beat my mum. Or maybe it’s best they are separated. I keep praying for them everyday.

Please help me post this…I want to see people’s views on this. 

10 thoughts on “Should I Reconcile My Parents?”

  1. Aren't you just a sweet daughter? Hmmmm, before you want to try to reconcile them, i want to ask if your dad still has the tendency to hit your mom? is his aging coming with more maturity? if not, please let them be o. are they both willing to patch things up and give their marriage a second chance?

    The cliche about how you can force a horse to the stream but can never force it to drink water still applies. If they are not ready to reconcile, it will be pointless trying to reconcile them.

    On the other hand, there's no harm in trying and nobody will shoot you for making an attempt. You never can tell what the outcome will be so i advice you first of all pray about it and give it a try but don't push it if it doesn't work. *hugs*

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  2. I concur…your intentions are good, but you would have to make some inquiry from both parties to ensure that the problems they had won't re-occur. Try to make them see reasons with you. As a lot of time has passed,hopefully,they wuld see things differently…Goodluck

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  3. I would say don't force it, u've done what u can. Just keep praying fervently for them. God has more invested in marriage than we do and in time He'll bring circumstances about that will facilitate their coming back together.

    You could also speak to older relatives on both sides who are also in favour of brokering peace. They might be able to make head way where u've failed. All the best.

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  4. You've tried your best dear!

    I think you should think more about your mom, your dad is just 50, he can help himself for now, get married and make children that'll be of help to both your mom and him when they're 60/70.

    There's no cause for alarm yet.

    Nuff'Said!

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  5. I have heard of 70 year old man wey dey slap his wifey and they always fight. Pls, let them be cos anyman that has done it once will do again. From what u said u are 26 and ur mum is 44, so they were really young wen they got married abi? Now, if ur dad is still bitter after 12 yrs then there is no need to try the reunion tin cos it won't work. Sorry to say this, ur dad is just like every wife beater and they don't stop. Sandy

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  8. My dear,I know of a 69 years old man who beats his wife,they just don't change,it will not start now,but after some years,just be caeful and pray a lot.

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  10. My dear,I think u shud let dem b bcos I know of 1man too dat beats his wife.she's a granma nt sure of her age but I'll say 55/60 n her hubby is close2 70.he beats her bad n doesn't even respect her,but where mama wan do @dat age.her children don talk tire,dey can rent a place 4her but she won't live d man o.anyway I feel ur pain.cos my parents are seperated too n dey are of same age grp with urs but mine has a 2nd wife.its mumsy I wud luv 2hook up but she's determined 2stay married2my dad who she hasn't slept with in 15yrs.lol talk of a strong woman.she's also married2Jesus too

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