She Tweeted Stuff About Me To Her Followers While Confessing Love For Me In My Presence. Should I Believe Her?

Good day Mrs Eya,  I just found your blog this week. It is my third time here and I strongly believe this is where I can get good advice from experienced people.

I don’t really know how to start this off. So about 4 years ago,
April 3 2011to be exact, i felt like i had met the perfect girl. At the time she was getting ready to turn 18 in about two weeks and myself was 18 years old. We met on facebook we had tons of mutual friends together, we was both shy when we first inboxed each other. We talked on the phone that following week, we were a long distance relationship. i instantly fell in love with her voice. We had everything under the sun in common. From food to music, to political beliefs, to how we both were bullied in secondary school.

 This was my first love, my first time speaking to a girl on the phone it was scary but i was so happy. battling depression on the side because at the time i just had graduated and i was at home doing nothing i had to wait a year to get into the school im at now and i didnt have a job. it made me feel like a burden. I talked to my girlfriend it was perfect, but things turned sour when i saw her speaking to her ex. she told me at first that she would delete him, then changed the story to she never went out with him, and along with this she was sending sexual tweets to random guys on twitter. 

This devastated me. i lost all trust for her and some respect. because i felt like if i talked you out of suicide and stood up to people for you, that you should be loyal. She talked me out of suicide i was beyond grateful and i never wanted to cheat never have. i honestly believe you can only love one person. back to the story, it really hurt me, i wanted to die but had to keep it a secret from her that i wanted to die because she would be hurt, i still loved her during this. I Messed up, i went to a female friend and discussed my relationship, because i was curious, i wondered did all women do this, did i mess up? my girl didnt like what i did and she really didnt like what my friend had to say,, so she held that against me. 

Every time fight she would throw that in my face and neglect what she did. Those fights didnt really happen until january of 2013, she had just made it through a coma of two days due to medicine where i was there for her. she came home from the hospital and told me she was wrong on how she had treated me, she said she didnt want to die having me hate her.i told her everything was cool, i hate hearing her cry. I tried to hold my rage and tried to learn how to forgive. i did it took me a while but i did. 2013 was an ok year, we broke up on and off but i noticed she would go to twitter and talk about how ugly i was. 

she knew i had low self esteem and youd think since we both was bullied she would refrain from doing that, i also noticed that during the following breakups i would find success without her. i used to feel like i couldnt live without this girl, so i did all i could for her, Buying sanitary pads when her mom wouldnt, helping her fill out job applications, when i did get my first job i bought her tons of stuff for valentines, her birthday, and christmas. So i felt like i was owed respect and loyalty. Instead, she alienated my friends tried to paint me out to be crazy, my close friends actually believes me now, she even put my number out on twitter to have her followers prank call me.

 when i ask her to tell them to at least make a tweet telling them to stop she seemed like she didnt want to look stupid in front of her followers, i did get an apologize the week before this but i wanted it to be public, since she bashed me publicly. so i played her game but instead of insult her looks and her deformities (she has a bit of cerebal palsy) i spoke about her character and how she changed my life and how since she couldnt tell people on twitter she loved me, i posted screenshots of our email messages from right after she told the world i was ugly and how she wished i died in my sleep, she was emailing me how she loves me and how i make her crazy and how she’ll never stop loving me. 

. She laughed after i spilled my guts. I think she values her twitter followers more than the love from me. Ive sinced last week walked away from her. i feel good but i feel so bad for her. its like seeing a relative lie to you. You know the real them but they act so differently online. I dont know how to feel im 20 years old now, i dont want revenge against her, i grew out of that, i still love her and i still pray for her. i do believe in karma. i just feel like a fool in all of this. Did I do wrong by walking away?