Please WC family help me with some advice. I have been dating my fiance for 8mths now and we are planning to get married. He has seen my parents and I have seen his. I try to communicate with his parents but I keep the relationship very cordial since I have not yet been married into the family. so I am not putting myself all over their faces cos that is what obtains in my family.
Just today one of his elder sister was chatting with him and she was accusing me of never calling her. She said all sorts of things eg that I have not added her on FB(pls note even I am my fiance are not friend’s on FB cos I am NOT active there) and even went on to the point of calling me “nonsense sister-in-law”. That other sister in-law were close to the family before marriage so what am I feeling like. Blah blah blah…
to put the records straight. I have spoken with
all the family members except her not because of any particular thing but just because it has nt crossed our minds to call her. Now she is making it seem like we have not called her because she does not have anything. Added to that she expects me to go to their other siblings house in the city where we reside to spend some nights and for christ sake I was not brought up to doing such things. She is asking my fiance if I am feeling to proud/shy?
My simple question is – how do I deal/accommodate such an in-law? My fiance was really pissed at what she said but I told him not to bother his head over it.
Just today one of his elder sister was chatting with him and she was accusing me of never calling her. She said all sorts of things eg that I have not added her on FB(pls note even I am my fiance are not friend’s on FB cos I am NOT active there) and even went on to the point of calling me “nonsense sister-in-law”. That other sister in-law were close to the family before marriage so what am I feeling like. Blah blah blah…
to put the records straight. I have spoken with
all the family members except her not because of any particular thing but just because it has nt crossed our minds to call her. Now she is making it seem like we have not called her because she does not have anything. Added to that she expects me to go to their other siblings house in the city where we reside to spend some nights and for christ sake I was not brought up to doing such things. She is asking my fiance if I am feeling to proud/shy?
My simple question is – how do I deal/accommodate such an in-law? My fiance was really pissed at what she said but I told him not to bother his head over it.
I beg tell her 2 park well, note d first person u made friend with in ur husband house will be ur worst enemy, just use wisdom
Very simple call her, apologise for not calling her but please do not go and sleep in anybody's house I dont know what the purpose of that is for and then call her from time to time. The more important question is what did your husband tell her when she called you a nonsense sister in law I hope he told her off because if he didnt………….
u neva marry and fault don dey cum? Pls cal her if dat wil make her glad. But dnt be 2 familiar wit any of them biko.
Babe u shld be grateful to God for makiing her show her true colour mine never did,d truth is no matter wat u do if she has set her mind tohate u even if u call her she will still find sometin else!wat matters is ur fiance's response cos believe me if my sis inlaw had misyarned b4 our weddin d way she's doin now bcos her family asked her to pack out of her brothers house ,and if my hubby had reacted d way he did siding with her believe me i wouldnt have married him oo
Abeg dnt start wot u can't finish. U can't satisfy everyone esp ur in-laws cos they'll always find fault in u esp wen u gt close 2 dem unnecessarily. Face ur hubby first nd form a lasting relationship wiv him but treat them well wen u guyz meet or if they come 2 ur house cos u r gonna b an in-law someday. Let them know u for who u r @ d beginning, no need for fake friendship as time goes by,they'll come 2 accept u. In-laws r nt easy 2 impress cos u were nt a part of their family bt slowly u'll come 2 undastnd each other till then thread carefully else u'll might b insulted nd hubby wnt b able 2 help u. Speaking from experience
Your sister in law is very controlling and your husband should be the one to handle her. You can call her from time to time but always remember who you're dealing with. If something bothers you about her or she says nonsense stuff about you, let your husband handle her always. Always be cordial and friendly to her but keep a safe distance from her. Don't divulge any personal/private information to her because she will end up using it against you. She's very controlling and if you two allow her, she'll control your whole marriage. God bless your up coming marriage…. I've said enough.
Dealing with in-laws is like climbing a mountain, its never easy at all, but one thing in life is that you can never please everybody, so the best thing to do is, do your best, strive to be a good sister in-law, a good wife and leave the rest, whatever will be, will be
Also try calling her and apologise, you are not apologise because you have done anything wrong o, its just that something when you do somethings or act on some decision, some person might interpret it differently, so she has actually interpret you differently, its left for you to change that her view about you, so its start with an apology which wouldn't cost anything, also its for the sake of peace, so just make her understand its not like you ignored her, and don't go and sleep in anybody's house, and also its good your husband is supportive, also if you have any issue with her or any of the family members, don't confront her or any of them, let your husband know, its his family, he should handle them, its safer that way
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Ola u have spoken well Im glad i found this blog cos u wont believe in tryin to please my sis inlaw i land hospital 1st 6months of weddin cos of depression no one to tell my challenges and sis inlaw no wan pack commot and d bro was also scared of her as bad as he stays inside d room 24/7 ,we get tv dstv na film ontop laptop hubby go dey watch inside house tryin to avoid her,i was left at her mercy oo. d comment above u
Follow every man according to who they are…You don't have to change yourself or be who you are not, you don't have to even throw yourself at the inlaws, I won't even advice that…But this particular one, just treat her the way she wants to be treated, call her, add her on Facebook, you don't have to go sleep in her house, just do what she would appreciate but don't compromise who you are especially by going to her house or her sibling to go sleep.
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Hmmmm, sisters- in -law, #deepsigh. It is well.I had a terrible experience with mine.i have left everything in God's hand to judge.
Babe, please I beg you, RESPECTFULLY put her in her place. Shebi na fb and calling she want? Do then but be formal at it. That kind of SIL will be so hard to please and will only be looking for faults. As far as I'm concerned, any thing IN LAW should be strictly handled by THE MAN. I just hate it when some men expose their wives/partner to their family palaver and issues. Men, handle your families and save your women from needless stress.
Abeg dnt start wot u can't finish. U can't satisfy everyone esp ur in-laws cos they'll always find fault in u esp wen u gt close 2 dem unnecessarily. Face ur hubby first nd form a lasting relationship wiv him but treat them well wen u guyz meet or if they come 2 ur house cos u r gonna b an in-law someday. Let them know u for who u r @ d beginning, no need for fake friendship as time goes by,they'll come 2 accept u. In-laws r nt easy 2 impress cos u were nt a part of their family bt slowly u'll come 2 undastnd each other till then thread carefully else u'll might b insulted nd hubby wnt b able 2 help u. Speaking from experience
Abeg dnt start wot u can't finish. U can't satisfy everyone esp ur in-laws cos they'll always find fault in u esp wen u gt close 2 dem unnecessarily. Face ur hubby first nd form a lasting relationship wiv him but treat them well wen u guyz meet or if they come 2 ur house cos u r gonna b an in-law someday. Let them know u for who u r @ d beginning, no need for fake friendship as time goes by,they'll come 2 accept u. In-laws r nt easy 2 impress cos u were nt a part of their family bt slowly u'll come 2 undastnd each other till then thread carefully else u'll might b insulted nd hubby wnt b able 2 help u. Speaking from experience
Abeg dnt start wot u can't finish. U can't satisfy everyone esp ur in-laws cos they'll always find fault in u esp wen u gt close 2 dem unnecessarily. Face ur hubby first nd form a lasting relationship wiv him but treat them well wen u guyz meet or if they come 2 ur house cos u r gonna b an in-law someday. Let them know u for who u r @ d beginning, no need for fake friendship as time goes by,they'll come 2 accept u. In-laws r nt easy 2 impress cos u were nt a part of their family bt slowly u'll come 2 undastnd each other till then thread carefully else u'll might b insulted nd hubby wnt b able 2 help u. Speaking from experience
Abeg dnt start wot u can't finish. U can't satisfy everyone esp ur in-laws cos they'll always find fault in u esp wen u gt close 2 dem unnecessarily. Face ur hubby first nd form a lasting relationship wiv him but treat them well wen u guyz meet or if they come 2 ur house cos u r gonna b an in-law someday. Let them know u for who u r @ d beginning, no need for fake friendship as time goes by,they'll come 2 accept u. In-laws r nt easy 2 impress cos u were nt a part of their family bt slowly u'll come 2 undastnd each other till then thread carefully else u'll might b insulted nd hubby wnt b able 2 help u. Speaking from experience
Abeg dnt start wot u can't finish. U can't satisfy everyone esp ur in-laws cos they'll always find fault in u esp wen u gt close 2 dem unnecessarily. Face ur hubby first nd form a lasting relationship wiv him but treat them well wen u guyz meet or if they come 2 ur house cos u r gonna b an in-law someday. Let them know u for who u r @ d beginning, no need for fake friendship as time goes by,they'll come 2 accept u. In-laws r nt easy 2 impress cos u were nt a part of their family bt slowly u'll come 2 undastnd each other till then thread carefully else u'll might b insulted nd hubby wnt b able 2 help u. Speaking from experience
This is not an issue a beg… Don't bother your pretty head over nonsence like this.. She is a minor
Poster: thank you every one for the advice but about adding her on FB I doubt I will do that because I don't facebook so it is absolutely unnecessary and so I won't do it to please her. I will call her but not immediately cos I don't want her thinking she can just run her mouth and I will be at her beck and call. Thanks once again…
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