Different women had different things to say and that makes it even more confusing.
The confused pregnant mother of three kids, took to the group Mumsnet to ask for advice about the state of her three-and-a-half-year marriage.She revealed she had suspicions over the past year, which have now been confirmed.
Just nine days ago her husband revealed he had been cheating for the past 18 months with a colleague.
And if that wasn’t bad enough – she’s around three months pregnant.
The woman wrote online: “He says he doesn’t want her and he wants me. We have 3 children together already, and he wants us to work it out.
“The way he has explained it to me, is that he was in a bubble.“We were going through a rough patch, she was there, gave him the attention he wanted, made him escape the reality of our life, he was unhappy and didn’t know if he wanted me anymore.
“He feels as though when he found out she was pregnant the bubble popped.
“Reality hit him. He realised how much he loves me and what he was going to lose.”
But the last year has been hell for her, as she knew something was wrong.
The mum of three continued: “The last 12 months I knew something was wrong. I begged him to tell me what was happening to us.
“I felt in my gut something was wrong. I even questioned his relationship with the woman (they work together) but he told me they were just friends and he wasn’t attracted to her.
“I organised marriage counselling, I became the best mother and wife possible, I did everything to make us work.
“But he just was grumpy and miserable all the time.”
Despite his behaviour, she says he has changed since telling her.She posted on mumsnet: “Since finding out, he has become the man I fell in love with again.
“He hasn’t really seen me in so long and he is looking at me again and I can’t help but feel relieved that he is ‘back in the room’ so to speak.”
Her post has racked up hundreds of comments, questioned his ‘gaslighting’ over the past year, if the baby is his, and what his plans were for the future, and her sexual health as he was sleeping around.
In response, the woman revealed his mistress is also married and her partner now knows about the affair, so her husband will have a DNA test.
And she said there had been talk of both couples moving away for fresh start, and the other husband could raise the baby.
She added: “He wants to focus on our three children, not this baby which to be honest I’m the same.
“There may not need to be contact with her or child if we move/they move.
“The husband could possibly bring the baby up.”
Commenting on the messy situation, one person said: “Sorry to be harsh but please don’t accept being second best for the sake of the three children he didn’t consider for one moment when he was sleeping with his work colleague behind your back.
“Put your happiness and self worth first.
“Much rather single than with a cheating rat. And the DNA tests ? (what a charmer) make sure he steps up to the plate as it’s not the poor child’s fault.”
Another person said: “So he has a sustained affair during which he lied to you and said nothing was going on.
“The OW [other woman] is now pregnant and he’s prepared to walk away from his own child (on the assumption the baby is indeed his). He is a horrible horrible man.”
A third person said: “Honestly, I’d give up on this sham of a marriage, half your marriage he’s been having a full on relationship with another woman, that’s some bubble OP, lasting 18 months!”
This person wrote: “So you’re asking if it’s possible to forgive a man whose been unfaithful for half your marriage, spent the last 12 months gaslighting you and ignoring your distress, whose been having unprotected sex and has made another woman pregnant.”
Lastly this person said: “Based on what you’ve said, I’m not sure he would have even told you enough affair had she not fallen pregnant.
“You knew something wasn’t right and he lied to you, lied right to your face.
“To add insult to injury, he made out like it was YOU who had ‘issues’.”
What would you tell her?