Back to da marrer, a lot has happened since my last post and I have so much to share with you.
An event occurred that left me wondering. I’d love you to please let me know if I’m over-reacting or its just plain normal.
I was on my way back from the salon the other day and I saw a friend from college ( nor vex, na secondary school I attend but I wan begin to act posh) and I stopped to say hello. Grateful it wasn’t the expected, ‘oh! Sorry, I can’t remember you’; we spoke and I was glad she wasn’t offended that I got her name mixed up.
I was about leaving when she said ‘Oh by the way, are you married?’ I smiled angrily and said ‘No’. She held this cute little girl and I saw she didn’t have a ring on her finger. I was tempted to ask, ‘Oh by the way, are you married, or you had your child out of wedlock’ but I refrained from doing so. I figured it would’ve been
rude since we weren’t exactly close back then in school and haven’t seen each other in over 10 years.
We bade each other farewell without exchanging numbers and her question got me thinking while we drove home. I wondered aloud why she didn’t ask how I was doing and where I was working or something else. I assumed she figured I work(ed) in a good place since I was driving when she saw me.
My sister-in-law who was with me, told me of a similar occurrence. She saw a friend and one of the first few questions she was asked was ‘So how many kids do you have now? You got married quite a while back’. I was upset and kept going on and on about how people wouldn’t mind their business and how they pretend to care about you when they have a mountain hill of troubles to deal with.
I understand life is in stages but should my ‘level of accomplishment’ be someone else’s business? It wouldn’t be a big deal if a close friend asks these sorts of questions but it bothers me when those I’m not close to pretend to care.
I once read somewhere that people are only happy about your success provided you’re behind them. Is this true or am I overreacting?
Let’s discuss
FolaShade
So true.
Human beings are bitter!!!!
I can totally relate to your situation, dear writer…It's very very true! People feel more comfortable around you when they think they are steps ahead… i also get very pissed when someone I was never really close to, women especially, try to size up my achievements by asking ridiculous questions… i mean WTF is your business with my life??? why do you want to know where I work? Are you planning on giving me a better job? How many kids I have? if the car in my profile picture is mine?…. i got married a couple of months ago and the most stupid and irritating question I hear these days from girls, I can't really call my buddies is… oh, you should be pregnant by now? Are you pregnant? I mean? Why counting my achievement??!!! Kilode???? I mean how do you manage people like this without coming across as a snub?
my dear,its true most times, i saw a funny pic that says 'nigerians greet u like -'hello,how are you,its like you have added weight' i laughed so hard, we will never mind our buisness,i always try not to ask questions that i dont want people asking me.one even saw me at the market and said'what are u doing here' ermm,i came to pray. na wa…Teresa
You so right. Exactly same happens to me. Esp on bbm and facebook. Some persons just sit back,relax and monitor other pple's success n progress. They want to know d story of ur life. All for gossip. As a result of that I dont post anything personal anymore. No personal display pictures,no suggestive pms, NOTHING! So they keep guessing while I forge ahead.
Hahaha.
poster no be only u, I have some frds they will just ask u are u married? once u say no dey will stop relating with u again. u will hear she not serious u better go and marry. trust me I use tell them DAT u DAT u are marry am far better Dan u bcos u are in a slavering unit.
LMAO @ I came to pray…. hahaha
@Anon8:46am, Marriage is not a slavering unit. that the devil is fighting many marriages goes to show that there's something rewarding there. Two are better than one…
Poster and others – are you happy about other people's success only when they are behind you? NOT ME! I crave to be around more successful people and that has helped me to grow personally…
lol @ I came to pray
U r soo right.. I can remember some mnths bck wen I use one of my pic without wearing make-up as my dp only for a friend dat rearly chat wit me to ask why s ur face like disden u must b heavly preggy I jst replied saying cos am nt wearing makeup bluntly….. Dats 9ja for u immidiately u get married dey wil help u count d 9mnths nd d xpecting baby pics……
Dnt mind some people, there is dis my friend on my bbm, we hardly chat and when I put d pic I snapped with my baby it was kinda dark due to d background of where we snapped pic, d next thing she pinged me and started complaining of how dark I was dat lol….vain people