Hello Eya, ever since I read that post about the lady that is so depressed and suicidal because she cannot give her husband a male child, I have been feeling some guilt. May I be forgiven. I have three girls. When I gave birth to my first
and second, there was still hope and I didn’t worry much but after the third girl, I gave in to depression and a feeling of emptiness. I began to see how proud women and their husbands can be when they have a male child. My neighbours are not even helping, they call their male children with so much pride and act as if they have achieved a lot in life.
Why I feel is guilt is because I didn’t bother myself to organise a child dedication or simple or birthday party for my third daughter. Even though hubby doesn’t show disappointment but he never insisted. If I had a boy I know we’ll definitely have celebrated him. The comments on that post have made me shed tears, May I receive forgiveness.
You now need to forgive yourself having asked for God's forgiveness ; I hope?
Your subsequent actions towards the child, and the others, determines your freedom. Mind you, no more can make you jealous or envious without your consent – your neighbours are not your problem…
My dear, the last time I checked, you aren't God and you don't give children. Do not let anyone make you feel less honoured as a woman because you don't have male children. Let people talk but at least you carried three healthy pregnancies to term and gave birth to hale and hearty babies. Focus on bringing them up to be important ladies and women of the future and you will be fine. Only God knows what's good for us. I know a woman who prayed for a male child and gave birth to eight girls all because she was looking for a son. She eventually has the son but right now, she wishes she stuck with her girls because the son who's now a man followed the ill path of life and he is the source of her problems today. He almost offered her up as a sacrifice some years ago all for blood money.
Sons are very important and so are daughters and it is beautiful to have a mix of them but if you have one sex, be grateful to God and do not complain rather raise up your prayers and supplications to Him in secret and He who sees in secret will grant your heart's desires.
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I have 2 beautiful daughters and when am ready to try for the third one, I won't even pray for any gender, my prayers will revolve around God giving me a good child. Nobody can throw any rubbish at me. dress up your girls and throw it at them too because they are missing out.
Well, when i read some of the comments people threw at the Lady in the other Post, I refused to comment. Why, because i felt she did not deserve Most of those comments. Most women in her Situation will feel the Same way but often shy away from talking about it because of what others will say to, or think about them.
It is not like we are not grateful for what we have; it's more like we are mourning what we never had. I don't talk about my feelings any more to anybody, except to people in my shoes because they understand the most; even my family and spouse never did understand my feelings.
So my dear Poster, take solace in the fact that you are not alone. I also always take solace in the fact that the day i die, I wont take any of these Kids along with me; male or female. I dont even bother about if my husband will Start jumping around looking for Boys. Infact i usually Pray to God that if my husband will tow that Part, let him Do it now that i am still young, I can move out of the marriage too, I have not had too man's kids yet that i wont be able to take care of, etc. Thank God atleast i have a good Job. I cant kill myself because of any man or his family oh.
So dear Poster, focus on your girls and especially on ur Job. Your kids will appreciate you and your husband will be the envy of his friends if his wife is able to get to the Peak of her career; son or no son.
Wishing you all the best!
Are you aware that the man determines whether the baby will be a boy or a girl? He contributes either an X or a Y chromosome to the baby to make it a girl (XX) or a boy (XY). The mother contributes only X chromosomes. Why do you think it is your fault? It has nothing to do with you. If you feel that badly about it, IVF with gender selection is an option. However, educate yourself on its drawbacks before you try it.
Humans find every way to one up each other. Married women look down on single ones, those with children feel superior to those struggling with infertility, now even those who have children have to find gender reasons to look down on another. Look at the hell China and India are going through now because of the gender imbalance. Both these countries practiced infanticide for decades killing off female infants and fetuses and now there are not enough women to men. Poster, be happy for your children and do not play into the isms and schisms of this sinful world. Your children are your legacy do not ever look at them with sadness or shame. If you send such energy their way as their own mother what do you expect strangers to do?
aish, you need to move to another country or something, you're not pathetic, the people parading male children like they achieved something extra over you are the pathetic ones. what is with this archaic thinking in the 21st century