Hello wives connection, I have a little challenge bothering me. To some, I k now this is nothing and it actually was nothing to me too in the beginning. My wife’s younger sister and her husband have been living with us for the past 5 months. They couldn’t afford rent after he lost his job and she alone cannot pay for the big house they rented. They approached my wife who later asked if it was ok they move in with us and I agreed, that was then.
At first it wasn’t a problem. I wanted to give them a hand. Now that “hand” has turned into a “handout”. Her sister works, the husband doesn’t. My bills are becoming bigger as we pay more for everything now. NEPA prepaid metre is not helping matters at all. The electricity bill has gone up almost double what we used to pay, Waterboard has increased their bill saying that we consume more drums of water recently. Food that used to last for one month in the store now finishes before the month ends. They don’t have kids yet but it appears she
is expecting, her morning sickness is getting worse by the day. We have another baby due in July, my wife is pregnant. We need that space.
Furthermore, I don’t like taking care of adults who at this time should be able to take care of themselves. My wife asked was I happy a few months ago and I told her I was not at all. Her response was, “I can’t tell my sister to move out of my house.” I am at the point where I want to tell my wife that either they leave or I travel somewhere. I can’t concentrate on anything since that thought is weighing heavily on my mind. What should I do?
please help me people.
You shouldnt have agreed the first time. They should have looked for a smaller apartment when the husband lost his job. Looking after your immediate family can be a little bit tight sometimes let alone having two married adults. It seems the wife is not contributing anything to the house expenses and now that your wife doesnt want to see reasons with you by saying she cant tell her sister to move out of the house. You need to have a good discussion with her ( though she should know the weight on you) if she still insists on her sister staying, then you should talk to them.Your wife really needs to support you on this really unless she wants to give up her marriage while her sister keeps hers.
like seriously, she can't tell her sister to leave her house? she must be sick. abeg tell her to either tell her sister or u take it upon yourself to tell the husband. shame no dey catch them. you shouldn't have allowed them in the first place, but since it is as it is, let them know your mind. and from your story, it means even the wife that is working is not bringing anything to the house, even if it is a cup of garri, or rice. Abeg don't die in silence. give your wife an ultimatum and let her realise you can't cope with the visitors again. am a lady and i can't allow my sister stay for too long in my house, not to talk of her and her husband, it is not as if i don't love them, in fact, i love them die. but i love my privacy and i can minimise thing for Africa.
The issue is not whether accepting them in was an error or not…, it is nice to offer an helping hand when situations demand. However, house rent is not something that comes suddenly so they should have realised the rent will be due and plan for a smaller apartment.
I believe u should be talking with the husband – abi una no dey talk when u dey house. Let him know that they need to move to a small apartment; e.g self-contain and offer to support for initial rent payment. Agree a time-frame with him and constantly get update on progress.
tell her sister by yourself na, they will only vex and gossip and call you a bad inlaw but your happiness is more important than anything and as the baby is coming, you seriously need the space….sorry bros…http://www.abujahousewivesblog.com
I'm sorry to divert from this topic but hv to say some thing about a man that sees a message on his wife's phone. When u feel a woman flirts u think it is abomination and need and urgent attention but when u men flirts which is in every man's blood and u only expect ur wife to pray,have patients,take it easy and have to accommodate ur stupid act because of what? Is only men that hv the right to commit sin and people calls it none sin,if it is ur wife that checked ur phone it will be a crime and u will lock it instantly.
D wife works na. Y would u choke in ur own space? Talk t d husband abeg n tell dem t get a smaller apartment wt ur small contribution cos u need d space for ur coming baby.
I feel u should seat your wife down and sort things out. Your wife will now talk to her sister besides they should know they can't stay with u guys forever. Dts the problem with people, when u decide to help for a short while dey ll relax and wait for when u ll tell them strong WORD do that tomorrow dey ll say u say dis n dt. 5months is a long time mehn. How's the man feeling sef. He should go out and hustle for his family na. My candid advice is for you to seat your wife down n talk to her about it, be firm in your decision not in a trouble way tho.
I think both you and your wife should try raising some money and help look for a small apartment for your in-laws. If you send them away without providing a place for them to stay, it'll look like you guys kicked them out and since they are the victims, you and your wife would have problems from extended family.
So, gather up money alongside your wife and get them an apartment and save yourself the stress besides what's family without a shoulder to lean on?
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This is a very delicate issue and should be handle wit care,u hve strted helping dem alrdy,pls also help dem in luking for a smaller apartment dt dey can afford and wen paying for d apartment d guy wife should be involve in d payment too so dt wen u re done doing d first stage,dey can take it up frm dere.
You and your wife should raise some money for them and if possible help them in house hunting.You can't displease your self to please your in law.if it was your younger sister,I am sure your wife wouldn't have been okay with her staying!dont die in silence,life is meant to be enjoyed
Tell ur brother in law to look for a room and palour, that u will help in paying for d rent. If possible call an agent and get d room n parlour for them.
Nobody even considered if the poster can afford to pay for a room and parlor. When his wife is expecting a baby, coupled with hospital bills. Pls poster, tell them to move and assist anyway u can. And what effort is your sis inlaw's hubby making to get another job. There are several ways to make money, pending when a job will come. How can a married man live comfortably in anoda man's house without being ashamed.