Dear Aunty Eya,
I’m a silent reader of your blog. I don’t normally ask strangers for help but my immediate younger sister is giving me cause for concern. She is just 13 btw.
I’ve been away from home for quite some time due to school and when I returned my sister became different. She tells me most things especially about boys and I told her not to have a boyfriend till she graduates from secondary school to which she agreed but she always has airtime on her phone and sends me some ( I know they are not 4rm my parents) .
I asked her the
source but she shys away from the question. The other day something dropped from her bag and it was a tiny box containing several simcards. She picked them up and hid them. I questioned their source but again she kept mute. She says she won’t tell me anything anymore because I always tell my mom the things she tells me. Please I need advice on how to handle this.
I’m a silent reader of your blog. I don’t normally ask strangers for help but my immediate younger sister is giving me cause for concern. She is just 13 btw.
I’ve been away from home for quite some time due to school and when I returned my sister became different. She tells me most things especially about boys and I told her not to have a boyfriend till she graduates from secondary school to which she agreed but she always has airtime on her phone and sends me some ( I know they are not 4rm my parents) .
I asked her the
source but she shys away from the question. The other day something dropped from her bag and it was a tiny box containing several simcards. She picked them up and hid them. I questioned their source but again she kept mute. She says she won’t tell me anything anymore because I always tell my mom the things she tells me. Please I need advice on how to handle this.
my dear plzz take it easy,its a stage characterized by euphoria of youthful exuberance.
you can only advice her since she's your immediate sister,try to make her see reasons with you. also involve your parents and they should go so hard on her hence you endup throwing away the baby with the bath water.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
*should not go so*
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
First of all, as an elder sis, u should gain her trust n not rat out everything to ur parents. U r older n definitely wiser n should b able to give her useful advice. This will make her more open to u. U should know that at this stage, they like to feel independent n all grown up. I hope this helps.
Telling a 13yr old not to have boyfriends until she graduates from secondary school might not cut it. What does she see you do? Are you a good example to her?
What do boyfriend/girlfriend do that should make her wait till she's probably 16yr? This message is better passed by parents…
For a 13yr who is very free with you, she'll learn more from your ways. Whatever you tell her must be backed up with reasons…
At this stage, telling juveniles not to do something will only make them the more curious. The truth is somepeople can only learn the bitter way; tell her the pros and cons of having a bf at that age, tell her about STDs, unwanted pregnancy and how boys can get her pregnant and move on with their lives but she'll get the stigma, buy her books on sexuality, buy her everywoman and the likes. You said she sends you airtime but I don't know if you accept or reject them; on this you need to be firm, reject them instead recharge her account so there won't be need for her to collect from boys except she's greedy. On the issue of sim cards, destroy them, yeah, destroy them and don't tell your parents everything because they may not be understanding. Then pray to God that gives wisdom
Hi dear, I think you should try being a friend to her. I have no older siblings but I remember at 13 I was a bit of a rebel.. Not doing anything silly with boys or anything but I just wanted to be seen as an adult and used to clash with my mum a lot.
Make yourself her ally, open up to her about things that happen with you, school, friends, boyfriends. This will make her feel you treat her as an equal and then she'll be able to open up to you.
At least then you'll be sure what exactly she's involved in and take it from there.
All the very best
She's already into the world…
Let her explore!
A proverb goes thus:
You can't stop a child from having huge teeth, but it's the lips to cover them all that becomes the problem…
The more you try to reprieve her the more she gets bad! That's the sorry story of juvenile diliquency.
Nuff'Said!
Lol. Kai see proverb!
Gbamz….
Ace! Hahahahah… show her senator yerima's house… Lol.. Pls and pls, introduce her to Christ, that's all she needs now, she's on a wring path,
Patsy
Girl stop telling on ur sister n b friends with her..credit from ur 13yr old sis???, I hope she has not been taken advantage of…. Be her friend den u can work ur way in talkin to her n been a good example to her…
1. Do not tell your parents whatever she tells you. Doing so will make her stop confiding in you.
2. She needs a mentor. You can be that for her but if you are always away, you can introduce her to female friends of worthy character. People whose lifestyle she will envy for their morals. she can also get involved in church activities.
3. Stylishly encourage your parents to be close to her i.e be her best friend(s)
4. Give her Sex education. Teach her about her rights, self esteem and how to say NO to the opposite sex in strong terms.
5. Pray for her. God can fill her with a strong desire to live right and not miss it from her young age.
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Blessed Aunty Eya,I noticed u deleted my comment on this post and I ask why?there was no insultive word in d comment.you ve done this b4 I overlooked it,but not anymore.I am leaving ur blog for u now blessed Aunty Eya.Adieu
Bona,this one's own has passed youthful exuberance o!na belle go accompany her own soon!
Youthful exuberance is characterized with mainly stubbornness and general rebellion,but her's is already involving men and multiple Sims at 13years?huh?
Then she's on a long thing!
@poster don't even know how to advice,but she needs a very iron hand at dis point else…
Mama NNukwu pls don't lie. I saw that comment yesterday and was like what?The poster is worried about her younger sister and you still insulted that same younger sister. How would you feel if you were this poster.
I just knew Eya will take that insultive comment off. Mama Nnukwu, since you can't advice without insulting ppl, this is the wrong place for you. This is a family blog and I think you will flourish better on a gossip bog like……..
Nuff' said
I also saw the comment and its still in my box.I will paste it now;lessed poster,did u say 13yrs?OMG!she also send some to u and u accept,she has dozens of sim cards in her possession.in other words ur 13yr old sister is no more a virgin,what a shame!I hope ur 13yr old sis is not involved in a shady business.
I am speechless,however,I am going to church to seek God's face on this post cos I feel so perplexed and uterly disapponted
Pos
Pos, thanks for reposting. Why is Mama whatever complaining then? She can go for all we care , we don't need comments like hers here. No advice without negativity. SMH
Byeeeeee, u have no good comment to offer
I didn't see any insult in her comment,abi anoda thing dey.
Mama,if eya no wan publish ya comment leave am naa
But guys na wa for some of u sha
anon 8:55, you didnt see insults??? ofcourse u wont see insults cos it wasnt referring to you.
mama nnukwu, have a safe trip and greet everybody. farewell
Bye bye mama nnukwu.pls don't come back again. cos we all hear to lean and I don't think am leaning anytin 4rm u mama nnukwu. Bye
Haba mama nnukwu! That is wrong u condemnd d sister instead if offering advice nau! It's not done.
@ poster, all I can advice u to do is talk to her about std's and unwanted pregnancy. And how she can get any guy she wants wen she is of age. But u can only hope and pray that she listens and heeds ur advice.because Children of these days no easy my sister. And make sure u also show good example dear.
God bless.
Tokoni.
I also don't see any insult in d message abeg.. U guys should learn to relax,there is more to life than all your problems.. So many problems making d blog tense,some lil joke to make d blog lively isn't too much abeg.. This is a family blog and not anyone's family house abeg
Anon 6:50,I tire for this kain thing too,I ve been laughing since yesterday at mama nnukwu's comments only to come back and see this.I can see some people don't know how to be happy
This mama again, i believe she must be dis choosen morpol. Abeg poster use wisdom, love ur sista. Tel her in love and what she is doing is wrong. Pray 4 her.
At thirteen, children tend to copy adults a lot, if you're fun and free, they want to be like you, if you're serious and uptight, they hide things from you. Just be a good role model to your sister. Good dress sense attracts girls at that age. Dress well and carry yourself with respect. Occupy her mind with good novels. And pray for her.
i miss mama nnukwu
it will never be well for those that chased her away
Amen!
First of all, that’s the mistake you made. Telling your parents whatever she tells you. Try to make her confide in you ,sometimes tease her and guess who gave her those things . This would make her open her thoughts to you.
At this stage ,telling her not to do this and that can make her daring . And you can’t jump to conclusions that she already has a boyfriend. Tell her stories of you when you were her age ,how boys have tried to ask you out and how you have handled it. Telling her these is not greater than her level ,you might even be surprised about how far she has known😌
Show her some pictures of bright famous students a d what they have achieved in life. Talk about the reward and pleasure of focusing on her studies. Make her know that listening to boys at this stage can lead to her downfall. Let her know and boy that tells her ,he likes her at this stage do want her to be successful.
Help her set goals and tell her what is it like to achieve something before getting a boyfriend.
This might be long but helpful I guess . Also tell her about the two brilliant girls named ” young Einstein’s ” their inventions and so on. It may encourage her.
The best thing is to apologise to her and tell her you will never tell mum or dad whatever she tells you. This would be easy if you were a gender creating mutual understanding!