“I got pregnant nine years ago while dating my current husband and
then the issue of marriage came up. (Shop wedding dress
I wasn’t working then. He told my family and I that he doesn’t want a court marriage for no reason.
My parents tried talking to him, I cried and begged him severally to legalize his marriage with me but he stood his grounds not to wed
me in a court.
I involved his family members to help me beg him but they said,
he’s old enough to make his decisions. He even refused to do a white wedding either because my church
requested for a court certificate, so we ended up doing only traditional marriage.
I later got tired and gave up on the matter. I was hurt and broken
but I resolved to marry him like that just to save myself and my
family the shame of having a baby outside wedlock.
My dad was angry and disappointed in him but he didn’t care and
because of that my dad vowed to see me a successful and
independent woman with or without him.
After I gave birth to my baby, my dad helped me secure a job with a multinational company and things started to turn around for me.
I could now take care of myself and secure a future.
Though I married my husband but I never forgave him from my
heart and it made me not to do anything in my husband’s name.
We currently have three kids together but all my properties are in
the name of my children. I never used him as my next of kin either.
Just last month my company decided to transfer me to a branch in
Texas and the company is willing to pay for my entire family to
relocate with me.
My husband’s business is not doing too well and he’s willing to
relocate also but we have no legal certificate to show that we are
married.
😒
Now he wants us to go to the court to legalize our marriage and I
have said “No” My dad has threatened to disown me if I ever go
with him to court.
He’s been tagging me everywhere as a bad wife who is not loyal to
her husband, spoiling my family also.
His family members have been calling me trying to persuade me
but I told them I’m old enough to make my decisions also and I
have stood my ground just like he did to me nine years ago.”
What is your advice for this young mother of three?
Your husband wanted the world to think that you tied him down with the pregnancy, so that when he decides to leave you, or get another woman, no one will blame him much. Now see where that has landed him. If you haven't forgiven him till now, that means you can live without him sef.
That was my reply after reading her story. Let's hears yours…
Whether you decide to go ahead with the registry marriage or not, you have to forgive him.
My dear, I forgave mine after I left him. There is no point in changing my mind. The same reason why you were begging him should be the same reason why he is begging you. By the way, irrespective of the outcome of this, you have been, you are currently and will forever continue to be married to yourself.
I think she has to forgive him so she can progress. Unless her company will allow her go without him, if not her decision not to do the court wedding now will also affect her. But some men though! What was the strong head for?
She should forgive him even though he didn't deserve it.
Having been burned by ungrateful men and I forgave them, you can forgive him so you are set free. Now, the issue of legalizing your marriage is another matter that only you can decide. But from where I stand, I think he wants to use you to come to American and do your " christiana!" Be careful. Finally I'm so proud of you and your family for having stood by you and supported to you to succeed. The choice is now totally yours to make, and make it wisely!!!!