My husband and I are still a young couple but when one hears me mention a fifteen year old step daughter, it sounds like as if we are grand mom and dad already but we are not. My husband played away match while at Secondary School and denied the pregnancy but the baby was born his carbon copy. She lives with her mother and I thought we had a great relationship until this discovery. We are still waiting for my own kids and I know I’ll carry a child in me one day.
We have had so many ups and terribly many downs in my marriage, long and short matter Aunty Eya is that I think we are a mismatch. So, I know too that I shouldn’t be with this man because he has been abusive in the past but am still here.
From the beginning, he lied, cheated and played cruel head games with me. He is a subtle alcoholic but will never drink on Sundays because he is a deacon at
church, no matter how I try to convince him drinking is sin, this man will quote and quote for me. He accused me of being a liar and cheat and being all these things multiple times a year. Many times in this marriage, I would tell him I was done, but he is extremely smooth-talking and romantic and could always pull me back in.
Few years into the marriage, I discovered he is a severe porn addict and that his relationship with his 15-year-old daughter was inappropriate. How I discovered the porn was when he left his Ipad behind when I kicked him out one evening after drinking drunk and vomitting in the bedroom couch and still abusing me on top it all. He went to a small hotel in the neighbourhood and I decided to hack into that Ipad since his passwords are always secret, just the second guess and gbam, I got it right. Midnight work began there and then, scrolling and searching for whatever I could lay hands on.
I discovered an affair that had been going on 8 months. I found conversations with his daughter that went on all night long (she had to go to School in the morning), while both talked about drinking alcohol during these chats, they talked about useless movies and music concerts like two 14-year-olds, and he told her horrible perverted lies about me and described me as doing all the things that he, in fact, did to me. She urged him to get rid of me, and added disgusting comments about me of her own. Okay, no wahala but, All hell was let loose and I could no longer sleep until he came back the following day.
In his effort to get me back, he wrote all of his passwords on a piece of paper, offered total access to his phone and crawled begging on his knees. I took him back. But the change didn’t last long and we are back to licking our vomit and living like Tom and Jerry. I can tolerate everything else but the comments from his teenage daughter. Does she have the right to urge my husband to get rid of me?
Aunty Kindly post anonymously please.
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Deal wisely with your husband – you have no case with your daughter-in-law… The respect/treatment you get would be based on how your husband presents you. Expect everyone to treat you like trash if he does.
It worries me how our churches appoint (abi na ordain) ministers… It’s heartbreaking seeing so called ministers of God having very bad reputations with their immediate family. This is for both male & female ministers; and these people would be on the altar laying filthy hands on innocent souls – diaris God o!
You know what to do. Why are you asking us? Any man who can have a dirty conversation with his teen daughter is not worth being married to.
TankU uncle Jay
Hmmmm so na to divorce am shey?
your issue is not with his daughter but with your husband, the girl does not know you very well and would naturally believe anything her father tells her,why should he be saying negative things about you to her.
@Tayo, my point really!! My dear, if your man doesn't respect you when with you or around others then, please don't expect those people to respect you either. Pray and fast my dear, God will answer your prayers by His grace,Amin