Hello Eya, thank you so much for this forum. I am a man but I swear I enjoy your blog even more than the women on there. I need a little advice from you and other blog visitors.
I don’t share what I’m feeling or thinking with most people. I try sharing with my Fiance but she can be too judgmental or aggressive. She usually doesn’t get my point. We’ve been
together for 2 years and we’re getting married in 6 months. When we got engaged we decided to get closer each other by spending weekends together either at my place or hers . And it can be hard being this close or living together because she’s quick to yell and it feels like a daily occurrence which wasn’t the case before we moved in together at weekends.
Recently, I started speaking to a girl at work. We’ve known each other for about a year but never really spoke until recently when we shared something about ourselves, something personal, that we quickly bonded over. Ever since then we couldn’t stop talking and I love talking to her, she is so much fun and knows how to hold down a conversation and keep it going. This lady also loves speaking with me. When I’m not talking to her I THINK about her. She’s nice and can be so easy to talk to. But the more I talk to her the more I terrible I feel about the relationship with my Fiancé because I’m developing strong feelings for this other person. A part of me wants to ask her if she’s feeling the same way…
Speaking with this girl did get me to think about my relationship. Do I want to live my life in constant arguments and yells or do I want peace, quiet and understanding? Because of these years together, I feel leaving her is wickedness. After two years I feel like she might curse me for dumping her for another woman.
Dear ladies of wives connection please I need your help. Should I go on with the wedding or do something to be with the second lady?
when you were dating and not yet engaged things are good. your coming together or spending weekend together should make things better, we are different kind of people with different background. talk to her, pray for her and pray together, do heart to heart talk with her and you can also go for counselling. the other lady, after 5 there is 6, you don't know what she gat at the backend and she may even be worse than your present lady. one step at a time, don't pursue two rat at a time, don't get your life, your love, mind and feelings divided it won't help you in anyway. bro don't be distracted by the new lady, she may be the shining light but for how long? are you sure she doesn't have a bf too? talk to your babe, look for solution, and even you broke up with her give yourself a little time before jumping into the next bus. not all that glitters…..
Well, I can understand your plight. I think that you saw a new difference in the new lady because you've been with your fiance for quite a while. I do not support women yelling at their men or being aggressive so, I suggest you talk to your fiance and tell her that you would like to put the wedding on hold (which ofcourse you would not) in order to give her time to work on her attitude. You are going to tell her that you feel disrespected and that you are not comfortable with that (yelling) side of her.
On the other hand, let's not rush things. You just found out that you bond with this lady at work and you are already thinking of taking the plunge. Bad idea! I have a male colleague at work who I am so close to, and he is engaged. We speak about many things and I could as well develop feelings for him and have him call off his wedding while I end my relationship but that would be soooo silly, stupid and irresponsible. Why you may ask? This is because there are some people that just come into your lives as friends and that's all there should be to it. Do you know your colleague's flaws? Have you seen her cat claws yet? The devil you know is far better than the angel you do not know.
In my opinion, as I raised above, point out the attitudes your fiancee has and nicely tell her to work on them. Be the man in the relationship and stop suppressing your feelings.
Best of luck!
when you were dating and not yet engaged things are good. your coming together or spending weekend together should make things better, we are different kind of people with different background. talk to her, pray for her and pray together, do heart to heart talk with her and you can also go for counselling. the other lady, after 5 there is 6, you don't know what she gat at the backend and she may even be worse than your present lady. one step at a time, don't pursue two rat at a time, don't get your life, your love, mind and feelings divided it won't help you in anyway. bro don't be distracted by the new lady, she may be the shining light but for how long? are you sure she doesn't have a bf too? talk to your babe, look for solution, and even you broke up with her give yourself a little time before jumping into the next bus. not all that glitters…..
Hmmmm I go with bukola 100%.
I'm thinking that maybe you two cannot live together peacefully. If you get married, the yelling and katakata might just get worse. Weekends together are helping you both see each others true colour. Have a talk with her and see if things will change. The new girl, you don't know her yet, still enjoying the newness of it all. You haven't spent long hours or days together so, to me you don't know her yet.