Good morning Aunt Eya.
Thank you for such an avenue to air my views. The challenge I’m facing is the recent attitude with which my fiancée is putting up recently. We’ve been together for almost five years now and both families relate well but I notice he withdraws
some information about his family from me yet he insists that I must not keep him in the dark.
I tried to tell him how I felt but since then, his attitude suddenly became different and it’s obvious. I’ve even had to tell him I’m sorry but it’s not working. I really don’t know what to think because he doesn’t cheat, he doesn’t keep friends and he’s highly principled. Most times, I’ve had to say I’m sorry for what I don’t even know. I’m really confused. Why does he keep things away from me? How can I get him to be as open as I am?
Marianne.
Aunt Eya please post this for me. Thanks.
Thank you for such an avenue to air my views. The challenge I’m facing is the recent attitude with which my fiancée is putting up recently. We’ve been together for almost five years now and both families relate well but I notice he withdraws
some information about his family from me yet he insists that I must not keep him in the dark.
I tried to tell him how I felt but since then, his attitude suddenly became different and it’s obvious. I’ve even had to tell him I’m sorry but it’s not working. I really don’t know what to think because he doesn’t cheat, he doesn’t keep friends and he’s highly principled. Most times, I’ve had to say I’m sorry for what I don’t even know. I’m really confused. Why does he keep things away from me? How can I get him to be as open as I am?
Marianne.
Aunt Eya please post this for me. Thanks.
Hi Marianne, can you please let readers understand what type of family information he keeps from you. Be a bit specific Ok. Right now it's too general and vague for me and I think some readers may feel that way too.
People need to understand what you are saying to be able to give advise.
You can communicate through this comment section.
Thank you.
What kind of information does he keep from you? Sometimes we women don't need to know every thing cos our wahala is too much. So what exactly is it?
How exactly has his attitude changed? Is it like he is angry about what you did, or something worse? Like he doesn't want you again? Bear in mind that people are wired differently. To him now, he is doing nothing wrong so understand that people have their own unique 'skoi skoi' .
Still talk to him sha.
Anom 1:33pm….pls leave our Ahdaisy alone ooo…we all v learnt a lot from her
Ok. Lemme give an instance. Sometime ago, he had a great misunderstanding with his sisters. The elder sister accused me of making him turn his back towards them. All the while this happened, he never told me about it but I noticed their attitude towards me. I got to kno about the misunderstanding when his sister chatted with me and told me boldly that I'm the cause of the disunity in the family. Other instances like this happen and I just remain ignorant. I believe I should know so that at least, I won't always be the fool. Thanks for your advice. Marianne
Ok. Lemme give an instance. Sometime ago, he had a great misunderstanding with his sisters. The elder sister accused me of making him turn his back towards them. All the while this happened, he never told me about it but I noticed their attitude towards me. I got to kno about the misunderstanding when his sister chatted with me and told me boldly that I'm the cause of the disunity in the family. Other instances like this happen and I just remain ignorant. I believe I should know so that at least, I won't always be the fool. Thanks for your advice. Marianne
In a previous post, Ahdaisy said she only knows how to advise MARRIED women, so she should stick to that and leave people who know how to advise married, single, engaged, in a relationship, or just humans, to comment. Afterall, this poster is ONLY engaged and not MARRIED.
I thot that statement was a bit condescending and unnecessary and she gets a side eye for that.
Pls what r u still doing wit a fiance for 5yrs!! Haba na. Tell him to put a ring on it b4 he gets bored & move to somebody else sharp sharp.
I think the way you understand that comment is not what Ahdaisy meant. She was only trying to create some fhumour.
No vex 4 her. I'm sure what she meant was, she has more to say about marriages, not that she's blank when it comes to singles or about to marry.
It is condescending to people who want to see it as that. Not everyone is a reflection of you. Being married is not an award or achievement so I think you should stop looking for trouble where there is none. I said that cos married people are already in it for the long run so I know more about how they can cope with such situations, moreover a married woman has more rights over her husband than a single woman does over a bf. And for someone who isnt married, all that comes to my head first is 'LEAVE HIM' and that is not always the right thing. To me, anything before marriage can be done without.
So madam sting, keep ur sting for those who need it. Also focus on giving the poster advice. We are not here to discuss my opinion. I am also entitled to my opinion so till I come to you to offend you, shove it! That is how people just like looking for who to attack, especially if their inferiority complex can't help it. Madam Sting, Marriage is not an achievement.
My dear, funny enough, I had the same problem with my hub. Trust me, it's better you dnt know. The info will only make you react badly cos most times you wnt be able to hide your feelings. But thank God now you know what's up. Just try and avoid any more confrontations. His hiding it from you means he doesn't want trouble. And pray. Remember the heart of the King is in God's hands.
LOL….oh lord. You just like to throw words around and i wonder if you know the meaning of half of them. Why in the world would i have inferiority complex over ANYTHING?
I didn't realise you were the moderator of this blog, telling me what to say or what not to say. Admit when you are wrong and move on. You were being condescending with that stupid statement you made about advising on MARRIED women. Why did you write it in CAPS if it was as innocent as you claim.
You definitely are acting like marriage is an achievement whether you deny it or not. Like i said, let people who know how to give everyone advice comment. Okay? Thank you.
Exactly my thought,i honestly don't think i can date or court that long…I seriously don't pray for such. 18months is somewhat enough to know who you're with,5 years tends to become boring.#matotz#
I know Ahdaisy is your blog monitor, but she needs to chill with certain comments. Did you think she was being humorous with the comment about being better at advicing only MARRIED people? So people who are not MARRIED should kick rocks abi?
@Madam Sting are u intimidated by Ahdaisy Jayde? #JustAsking
Questions should be based on something. What are u basing that question on? Is she not a human being? Abi, she get two heads? I could easily have posted as anonymous or with some random name, like u, but I didn't, so what are u getting at?
Dis is serious,when did we get to this level?
Howcome all of a sudden Ahdaisy now irritates somebody or some people.
Lets not try to take comments here personal.
There's enough room for everyone to air their view here,and I guess Ahdaisy aint impeding on anyones opportunity. Hey anon if u like comment under Grace,graceful or graceland. Still doesn't change how insecure u feel. Stop dis rubbish don't feel intimidated and moved to jealousy when someone is doing what u couldn't.
Hmmm women sha.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3210
Lol@ blog monitor… As long as I dont go around trying to bring cause chaos or start problem where there are non, you can call me blog CPU for all I care..*rme*
This is a free blog pls! Why all the hate on ahdaisy? Abeg madam sting, grace n anon let ahdaisy be abeg! And for those that will ask if am her mouth piece! Bring it on. Women and issues see how we have left the issue of advising the girl to fight ahdaisy.
Cat fight! Make una advice person wey did help.
Oh so now I am a moderator, after you first tried to tell me what to stick to. Is that not hypocritical of you? Or you forgot that part? It is inferiority complex that will make you feel I was condescending in my comment. Something about my comment(s) makes you feel less inside.
I wrote married in caps cos some people see engaged at married. Are you married yourself? If you are not, then I get where it is pinching you. I wonder how I act as if marriage is a big deal. It's all in your head honey, no one is trying to make you feel bad.
You did not even advice the poster, you just came to tell the whole that you like trouble. Ok, we have heard… NEXT!
@ Grace, looolz… I dnt even comment on evry blog post. That is easily verifiable but even if I did, Aunty Eya is not complaining so you can scratch ur eyes out for all I care. The moment Aunty Eya complains, I'll stop. So dnt bring that 'Prince Charming' rubbish here. FYI, I blog for the fun of it so when I dnt have anything to post, I leave it. You can post a link of ur 'upgraded blog' lemme learn.
Sofry roll your eyes, don't let them fall. The only issue i had with you was your comment, but i guess other people find you obnoxious and it gave them an opportunity to let you know that they think you are an oversabi housewife.
My aim was not to cause "chaos" but to point out that your comment was not cool and since you said you are better at advising MARRIED women, then you need to have several seats when an issue that doesn't involve a MARRIED woman comes up. U said it, i didn't.
Well men naturally tend to keep thing away from women bcos dey bliv we may not understand or our attitude might change. For instance if he had told u about d fight with his sisters how will you have reacted, won't ur attitude towards dem change. Besides what solution would u have given him if u where told. For example some men don't tell dia wives when they are giving out money to family or friends so that the women won't look down on them, also they may not tell u some things about their friends affairs etc just so women won't be judgmental. Anyway I don't know all the reason why men hide things frm dia wives but dey bliv its in our best interest. So just hold ur peace u have nothing to fear
Marianne,my own opinion is dt it shouldn't really bother u. Most men that I know will not discuss every single detail of things happening in dr family with u.I know u might feel left out but he might just not want 2 be upset u.And u too might be in his shoes one day;when someone will say something bad about him in ur family.In a situation like dt,u might not tell him cos u don't want him to feel bad,or u don't want him to dislike d person dt said it. And u'll just iron it out with ur relative witout him ever knowing.But in any case,u can still tell him u don't like it.Pls always talk to him first about issues bothering u abt his behaviour,it will surprise u dt he might not even know u feel bad about dm. Hope ds helps sha.And pls pray very well against any evil in-law dt doesn't want u to have peace in ur marriage.God does answer dt prayer wella! All d best dear.
LOL…Jehovah come down and save your children. Marriage is not pinching everyone the way it is pinching you. To answer your question, no i am not married and that's not my main goal in life right now. Nothing about your comment can make me feel any kind of way about myself. Are you serious?
Women like you are what is wrong with Nigeria today. That's why people end up in disastrous marriages so that people like you will not look down on them because they are not married. I bet that is the only thing you feel you have accomplished in your life. I am so sorry for you.
Tomorrow now you will send an anonymous message asking for advice because your greatest accomplishment in life is falling apart. What time is it in Nigeria? Shouldn't you be going to cook dinner for your husband? Don't come an die on this blog instead of going to tend to your home.
Unlike u, i am not an oversabi housewife. I don't have any advice for the poster, so i don't feel compelled to offer one. Is it everything you will talk? As for the inferiority complex comment, i'll let you have that because you really are an idiot. I don't think u can come stand next to me in real life if you met me. Let's see that husband of yours that is making you feel like you are something and better than people.
You are so lucky i have clinic this afternoon if not i would have stayed here and finished you. I will repeat what i said earlier, your comment yesterday was condescending and unnecessary. Admit you were wrong and move on. I am officially done as i have given you all the time i have for you today.
Want*u*
Women will always be women, they can neva be at a place without one person startin troubles, nw they hv carried their bad attitudes to this blog smh. Madame sting, gracey and anonymous y'all better behave! All these are uncalled for. Let ahdaisy be abeg if she wants to comment on every post i don't see y it shld be anybody's headache besides her comments are always on point!…
Two bloggers fighting someone please HELP!
Elegant Sting and Lovely Ahdaisy, I take responsibility for this romance. you two cut it. HUG AND MAKE UP, NOW PLEASE!
Go call Aunty Eya for us pls
Lol…, women dey will never change. Aunty Eya what do u have to say to these people fighting in ur blog?
Haba now .. what's all these? i understand what sting is saying.. but Ahdaisy is refusing to understand. You both dont mean any harm..its jst a misunderstanding.. and its enough! kiss and make up 🙂
Cool….!!!! Bring out your venom very well. Spit it out my love, it is choking you. Pls come back, dnt go. Let it all out…. I said if you are not married, I will understand where it(my comment) is pinching you. And now I do, you even revealed more than I care to know.
Stop pretending to be speaking for all unmarried women, you are speaking for yourself. I forgive you now cos I know I am not the issue, the issue is with you. You really believe marriage is an achievement. Forget all this ur long talk you're using to console urself. All your attacks at my person including calling me an idiot, shows that you have deep-seated issues that is eating you up.
I have never believed marriage is an achievement. In fact, I have always believed that everyone has THEIR OWN husband. That I married mine, does not mean I beat you to it. It's not a competition.
Kpele dear, dnt be offended. I am apologizing on behalf of all married women and I. It's not our fault. Any normal person who reads the exchange between you and I will see that you are fabricating issues all in your head and you are getting worked up over it.
Why you assume I am a housewife, I wonder. With all the tiny hand-held gadgets being invented today, someone still thinks that anyone who's always on the internet is jobless. Sweetheart, I have regular job which basically keeps me online, I have a business, I blog, I teach children in church and I have a family. I am the farthest thing from jobless right now so stop the hate. Even if I am a housewife, I dnt see how that affects the price of the makeup you use to conceal your puffy face from constant tears.
And yes, I agree I can stand next to you in real life if I met you, I wouldn't want to be associated with sad fellow. Visit my bog 'Diary of A Pleasant Heart' http://www.ahdaizy.wordpress.com. You'll definitely find something that will help heal your sad heart.
ok u just answered b4 i posted
@ahdaisy u are not sounding like a sensible mature married woman (no offences) must u respond to everything?u dont need it if madam sting is angry at d way u respond to issues politely correct it n move on. Y dishing out insultive words like a market woman. U are married, good then act like one.
Al ds Haters on LIB r gradually coming t ds blog… May God block dere path n blind dere eyes towards ds blog IJN
I am really disappointed today o,when did we get to this level?what advice are we giving to all the ladies and women who feels safe sharing their issues on this blog? how do we expect them to feel,the fact that someone chooses to always comment on every post(ahdaisy)shouldn't be anybody's headache(madame sting and anon),it leaves me to wonder the kind of character some women put up in their homes.from all have read i simply feel madame sting and anon are seriously beefing ahdaisy for her always-on-point-advice. for y'all that are waiting to come after me,bring it on.#shikena#
My dear ladies, lets move past all ds married and single wahala. Adhaisy's said what she feels,so also has Sting. Where 2 or more women are gathered, there would be bickering. Pls let all ds banter stop. To the 5 yr courtship lady, im married n my hubby keeps some info from me as well. When i asked him d reason,he said he knows his family might say somethings out of spite and id be angry and react negatively which wld aggravate the matter. So tk it easy bt abeg ds 5 yrs too long, u should be Mrs by now. Let him put a ring on it
so sunday school teacher can have this kind of trouble and bad mouth. Madam sting might have a strong point but ahdaisy just wont settle down to see where sting is coming from. I personally dont like cyber fights, its so unnecessary and uncalled for. I wonder if this commenting thing is now a miss popularity contest. Can't we all learn from ANWULI OPUTA who always has something nice to say???? #justwondering
It was when I saw a comment from an anonymous down that I realized that I should have checked out your profile before responding. Ur name said it all, but I was too pissed at ur comment to see it. Only for me to check out ur blog and realize I made a big mistake answering you. And I am truly sorry. You no follow at all! Trying to reason with you is a waste of energy. You are even worse than I guessed you are. Pls forgive me for underestimating someone who is known as a fighter.
@ Everyone, I am sorry. If my comments have been offending you, kpele. I guess I reacted that way cos I see the way people bully others on blogs and I refuse to take it. Forget all that 'how a married woman should act', you can't put sand in my eye and I'll keep quiet. I dnt comment on the L-blogs cos the bullying there is something else. Although some people still try to bully 'posters' and 'commenters' here, it's still better. I really do not like trouble, not bcos I cant handle it buy bcos it's not uplifting in anyway.
That said, I'm Out. Peace y'all.
Ahdaisy, please chill…I like your comments on this blog and everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
AMEN OO…in CAPS
@Eya…..this your blog is becoming more interesting by the day oh….please no blog wars abeg. Make "offender" and "offendee" no vex abeg….
Ahdaisy sweety,ure one of my best commenters and I love reading ur advise.but please just ignore d idiot.she's only seeking attention and e dey pain me now say u don give am dat attention.u kno dat is ow piple like billie jean and prince jobless used to say a lot of negative things on dem L-blogs until dey bcame popular.if to say u ignored her,I for nkno who be madam sting.am single,and altho I'd be walking down d aisle soon,I can assure u,she dosent speak for me.single girls r supposed to come here to learn,so dat most of d nistakes our married counterparts av made can be avoided.
As 4 u sting or bite,wateva u call urself,like seriously I wonder y or ow u cud misconstrue dat statement to be condescending.abeg shift o jare.ur two mins of fame is up!
I blame aunty Eya for all dis advice.aunty pls don't take any offence.I av neva commented on Lib or any of d oda blogs bcos in as much as I enjoy d news dey churn out daily,I hate d fact dat ders a lot of cyber bullying involved.aunty Eya u must understand Linda is a buisness woman,she's out to make her money and so she allows certain comments bcos she knos dey will spark controversy eventually leading to more blog traffic.don't be surprised dat she herself will post some comments,e.g like dissing herself,bcos she knos her readers will rush to defend her.I'm into PR and branding as well as a host of other media issues so I know wat these piple do.
Now am not trying to derogate any of the other blogs but I just feel dat this one shud be different,young women shud be able to come here and learn wat d older ones av to say as well as recipes.I've personally introduced my daughters aged 19 and 25 to ur blog as I feel dey will learn a lot. So aunty Eya,except u r trying to achieve wat d oda bloggers r after,u wud do well to stop allowing evry comment to be posted here. Do u kno 4 example dat I was planning on introducing my pastor's wife to dis blog so d next time we av our womens group meeting or married and singles fellowship,she can recommend it.so please start censoring comments.#my2cents!
The funny thing is dt most of ds comments are not even about giving d lady dt wrote any advice! I wonder if most of us take ds ladies dt write on d blog serious or just comment for d fun of it.Pls ladies,let it rest already!
Wow! So much drama up in here today *smh* please we really don't need LIB kinda drama here at all
Anon 6:11, I agree. Aunty Eya, please censor comments.
Oh? So madam sting did not abuse Ahdaisy? Why are you attacking only Ahdaisy? Tufiakwa you and sting and all the anonymouses aka Madame sting.
Ahdaisy, I beg of you, ignore the Sting girl. She has issues. She really has issues. She thinks all married women are smug idiots who have nothing else to do in life and whose only achievement is marriage. The girl wants to act like she hates marriage and all that but I don't know where having feminist ideals or progressive attitudes should make one hate celebrating love or marriage. The two are not incompatible. Sting, wake up and say that to yourself every morning.
I have a degrees and accomplishments and I'm a die-hard feminist (yes, I just wrote that). And I have a happy marriage and celebrate it. I am not smug but I will not keep quiet because I want someone with psychological issues about marriage to feel it is such a bad institution that it should be hidden and condemned. Sting, if you have seen so many bad marriages, tough for you. Be happy for others and believe that many people are actually happy in their marriages. Maybe Sting is the product of a bad marriage but her cynicism and penchant for running down marriage is actually, in Freudian terms, a betrayal of her longing for it. Go and see a shrink and stop haunting Ahdaisy. Stop being silly and detracting from the topic in the post. You call Ahdaisy a moderator? And what should we call you? The police? Some nerve! Pot calling a kettle black. You are a nameless bully with deep issues that you will need to confront at some point in life so this hatred and cynicism doesn't eat you up and you go around the world being bitter and looking for the bad in everything.
Oya, Sting, come back and reply after your clinic. I may not be here because I have to work and take care of a family I love. We are not perfect but we are HAPPY; something you can't seem to be able to wrap your head around.
As long Aunty Eya's blog is becoming known by many people, of cause we are going to be having different views on issues. It just depends on how individuals sensibly handle the issue. In this regard Adhaisy should have just kept mute, why the exchange of words with someone you obviously don't even know. Full grown women acting like tenagers. Not inpressed.
That being said, to the lady that sent in the post, its really not eveerything that goes on in your partner/husband/fiance family that should be told to the other half trust me, that way you avoid a lot of beef.
You also said you have been engaged for five years. Does that mean he proposed to you since five years ago or you both have been dating for five years and he proposed in between? If the former is the case, I personally think that's too long a wait to ask someone to marry you.
My advice to you is if you truely feel there are somethings that you need to know as your right, approach him and tell him your mind especially if he is the type that his family has to tell him how to handle his business but if he is not that type of man, enjoy your courtship in peace cos what you don't know can't hurt you.
And please always comit your courtship in to the hands of the Almighty God.
Eya,I almost feel like suggesting you take down this post&all the comments……It's never like this here.
Seriously dis whole issue wld nt hv gotten to dis level of calling eachoda name,we women shld learn to tolerate eachoda.evry1 is unique in there own way.Ahdaisy is quite vast nd intelligent I alwaz look 4wrd to her comment I admire her strength@comin up wt 1daful advice all d time but pls learn to tolerate.nd 4 U̶̲̥̅̊ madam sting hmmm I don't knw wat to say 2 U̶̲̥̅̊ but wrk on ur person no insult intended,learn to appreciate ppl wen dey show strength of ur weakness.dis blog is 4 matured minds evry1 has sometin to learn here.let's tolerate eachoda.
This is only in a blog and hatred in humanity is showing itself.My dear ones when will we show love to another whole heartedly.People come here for advice and all we can do is to teach them how to display bad attitude,so why are we married women.Is this how we handle caox in the house?we advice ladies on how to put up good attitde with there spouses and we can not even tolerate our selves on blog.So can we see that we may not be taking seriously in all our advices.So much hatred in the heart of men.My little advice is that we should learn how to handle.
1) Anger
2) Lust
3) Greed
4) Atachment
5) Vanity
If we can do away with all this passion of the mind we will live a better life with others.please let peace rain among us.
Aunty Eya, as it is now since there's a blog quarrel going on. Pls kindly suspend posting all these mails being sent to you but rather post ur own information gangan anyhow u post it, we've being enjoying peace all along o before u started entertaining all dis post. #No posting of any mail till further notice# Gbam!
Wonder cease to end #my first time here#
Marianne, for starters 5yrs is a very long time to be dating some1. I really don't think u have 2 kno every little info about him n moreover men aint very good at that, dey simply summerise it unlike women dat want to kno time, date, year and all. Talk to him about it if you still have dat strong feeling dat he is hiding things from u.
I can see you have started filtering comments. Good for you. One wouldn't want your sweat going down the drain. My regards to your family. Creative mom
Eya, like I mentioned sometime in one of ur articles, you have to decide whether ur blog is going to be solely on food recipes which believe me is what attracted me here. If u want to diversify, that's ur right too but what you would get is the above. I couldn't even read the comments above cos if I want a dose of it, then all I need to do is to visit seun's 'family section' in Nairaland. Please save your blog from trolls etc by filtering comments like Linda does or sticking to non-inflammatory topics. Take control otherwise the visitors will do it for you. Thank you. Creative Mom
I honestly tried very hard not 2 reply ur comments, Madam Sting. And pls note that dis is not a Voltron tin. I think u misunderstood wt Ahdaisy meant. If u notice, I also don't usually make comments when it comes to marital issues, its not only bcos I'm single, but when I read some stories, it directly or indirectly refers to me so I just silently read other comments and learn. I would rather advice singles like me bcos I feel them most of the time. Ahdaisy is not only married, she's a human being. What one person is good at, another person may not be. For example, we all cannot be good in mathematics. I think Ahdaisy only said dt because she actually doesn't know how to. I think its better to own up rather than give wrong or irrelevant advices. This is from my own point of view. Thanks.
Sincerely, Ahdaisy didn't insult anyone. Madame sting called her an Idiot first. So before you take sides, please read the comments first. Ahdaisy, no vex abeg.
I honestly tried very hard not 2 reply ur comments, Madam Sting. And pls note that dis is not a Voltron tin. I think u misunderstood wt Ahdaisy meant. If u notice, I also don't usually make comments when it comes to marital issues, its not only bcos I'm single, but when I read some stories, it directly or indirectly refers to me so I just silently read other comments and learn. I would rather advice singles like me bcos I feel them most of the time. Ahdaisy is not only married, she's a human being. What one person is good at, another person may not be. For example, we all cannot be good in mathematics. I think Ahdaisy only said dt because she actually doesn't know how to. I think its better to own up rather than give wrong or irrelevant advices. This is from my own point of view. Thanks.
Do u know what? I just love dis blog bcos we are having more customers everyday.thanks 4 ur patronage. As 4 adhaisy n sting pls forgive n forget is always like dat i women forum. N pls i want to advise we should stop using abusive language. Arn't u women of honour, virtures women. Abeg make una no ves, aunty keep on d good work, ve recommend dis blog to my coleagues even my husband always read posts on dis blog with me. My name is joy
waohhhh waohhh waohhh where have I been late to the party..
Iv bn following dis blog 4 a long time now and d truth must b said!
A lot of you share d same thot abt Adhaisy as Sting but yet scared 2 say it bcos u hav taken Adhaisy as ur class captain and enjoy licking butt. I 100% see wr Sting is coming from. Wen i read d last line of that statement abt married women yesterday, I was like 'wat???. I had 2 re-read that again! It was really uncalled for. Whether you ppl like it or not, it felt like Ahdaisy was making married ppl more superior than single(I'm a married woman). Dat statement was offensive. There is nothn wrong with Ahdaisy commenting everyday but her comments are always so ''I'm married and my marriage is perfect so u all must abide by my rules'. She always sounds like she has d most flawless marriage that shud b envied! I'm only saying wat I have observed, I am in no way hating on Adhaisy. If only she will step back abit and listen, she will notice her mannerism. I also bliv she lets this whole thing get to her head cos sum1 in d oda post said dey wr waiting 4 her 2 comment 1st.I bliv dat ppl that pretend 2 hav a perfect marriage or perfect wateva, r d ones that have nothing, cry all nyt but hide and pretend in public to make themselves feel beta.
So Adhaisy, u come off as Mrs know-all.
I'm just being blunt with you madam. I like most of your comments and you have a good sense of humour but hey.
And you said u teach in church and yet pour out insults on Sting instead of being d bigger person and lead by example.oh well. Madam Sting, if everyone else think u r intimidated ny Ahdaisy, I guarantee you dat I DON'T think so. You wr just bold enough to speak up which is good. God bless.
Aunty Eya, your blog has gotten to the point where you have to censor comments, please do and approve comments on time too.
Woow what's going on here. Been a while I visited only to come back and this. Don't know why all this bickering is going on. This is supposed to be a platform created by Eya for people to come together and learn I believe, why all this.
Aunty please try and start censoring your comments o. People that are saying LIB readers are full of insults and all, I actually think this is the worse I have seen on a blog post considering that most readers here are mature women either married or single.
I am so speechless I don't even know what to say concerning the main issue on ground. We can all just advice ypu Marianne, but we don't know for sure all these issues you are facing. They say he who wears the shoes knows where it hurts. Put everything to God Almighty in prayers afterall he is the Alfa and Omega. Take care.
The reason I don't censor all the time is because most times I don't have time to log in and approve comments on time. Some days I get too busy and only reply with my phone.
I will try my best. What I do also is delete very offensive comments like I have done on this post.
The misunderstanding between Ahdaisy and Madame Sting is not a reason to delete all their comments. There is misunderstanding and disagreements everywhere around us, even in our different families, sometimes siblings and even spouses disagree and you hear very heated arguments. It is normal. My only disappointment is the calling of names. That's not necessary.
To the sister that sent a mail requesting that I take down the post completely, what happens to Marrianne that is trying to learn?
Inspite of the disagreement between our two sisters, some ladies comments did answer her questions and give some suggestions. Well, that people had a misunderstanding is not good enough reason to take down a post by a reader who needs help. I will continue to delete badt comments from haters.
Hey Sis, you really don't need to stress it. Let him be, my family use to have issues while I was dating my ex, they create complains from no where! But I just leave her out of it, infact she doesn't even know or get to hear about it…
As a man, it's emberasing and somewhat annoying so we try to be ur protector.
To avoid further conflict, we hide such stuff knowing that if you have a clue of how they feel about you, you inderectly create reactions that'll heat things up further…
Just my piece!
ANWULI OPUTA'S comments don't make any sense to me, sorry.
Really, My marriage is perfect even when I somehow drop hints about how I have faced similar challenges of people with my husband? Even when I say people have different 'skoi skoi' suddenly mu husband is no longer included in ppl? I wonder what you expect me to say to a person who needs advice. I should break down and start telling the person the problems I have? Or I should fabricate problems so that I will be among? I wanted to ignore ur comment before, but your accusations are unfounded.
If Sting was offended by ONLY that comment, why did she not reply directly under the comment? Why bring it to another place? Even when I told her that it was not my intention to sound condescending, why did she not accept that? Must I think the way she does? It's amazing a lot of people are saying I should have ignored her meanwhile these same people will not take it. You are all saying I insulted her, I wonder where. This is the same person who called me an idiot and started sends jabs at my person including my husband who she knows nothing about. We always know how another person should act when we are not the ones involved.
For those who got offended by my comment, I have already apologized. I only said that cos I felt I was blabbing to the lady involved. I finally said 'I dunno, I am better at advising married women.' This is becos marriage is in it for the long run, anything before marriage can be done without. Moreover, most of what I know, I had to research and learn it bcos I am married and I dnt want to fumble. Ever since I had my first bf at 17, I had never been really single till I got married. So all that comes to my mind is LEAVE HIM when someone complaims about a person she is not married to.
About comments getting to my head. The way I see it is this. People started getting offended that I was getting too much, for lack of a better word, 'recognition' for my comments. They now started seeing my comments in a different light. It's only natural. So they think it is getting to my head, meanwhile they are the ones it is getting to. My comments never changed. I always said my mind from the start so it perception that changed.
I dnt owe you an explanation. I am just responding to ur many assumptions about me. Pls if someone needs advice, I will give the person irrespective of whether I sound like a know-it-all or not. When you go to your doctor, even if it is a hundred times, you will most likely take his advice whether everyone in his family is sick. Ur own is to get treatment and leave. So pls, let's stop assuming about my personal life. If you dnt like my advice, give a better one, but dnt suddenly start attacking my person. Many times people do not comment, if we were all like that, this blog will be boring.
Ahdaisy, u don't have to reply. Sometimes when someone isn't makin sense best answer is ignore them. We are adults not some secondary sch girls. Madam Sting, u don't have to misinterprete. U could haave stated ur opinion widout going all out na. Haba. Love u both tho.
Oh damn!where the heck have I been?ok blame it on my job!Sting I share ur sentiment,I know exactly what u tryna to say about Ahdiasy &her obnoxious and miss goody two shoes self!today the 'meow' in her came out,look at how 'unchristian' she sounds?she's always giving advice,yet when u talk her matter then she flares up as if the devil himself has come to occupy her body!what baloney!
I know she has a cult following here which made her acquire certain airs which is fine bcos prolly in life,she lacks this kinda 'adoring fans'.
I was saying YesT on my TV show that people on cyber space aren't a true representation who they are in life,the loudest ones in real life might be described as very timid,lack confidence &even weird!Yet when they come on blogs,they act out on their fantasies by being something else,I think Ahdiasy is one.
Ahdiasy guess u didn't choose ur battle wisely huh?u wrote a long post on ur blog but failed to heed to ur own advice.
U sound soo vile &gloaty abt urself,remember you are dust!next time let wisdom prevail &take a walk.
Sting please let it slide,she's one of those.I have her type in my oFfice,'Miss know it all,goody two shoes and I'm under this impression that I'm the most loved'.The best antidote for her deluded thinking is to leave her.When she hits a brick wall,she would know the truth….
And to the lady who came for advice-um sweety u are just being paranoid,please take a chill pill and by JOVE!what the heck are u doing in a 5yr relationship?acting like a wife?I'm not a fan of long courtship,it breeds soo many problems.Get the dude to WIFE U if not….
Please, you people should leave Ahdaisy alone! What is all this? Some of us like her here. Stop assuming things about her. The same way some of you perceived her 'MARRIED' statement as offensive, thats the same way some of us also saw nothing wrong with it. She has explained endlessly why she mad that statement, but you people still won't let her be. When pple started commending this lady on her comments, I knew that some people would start getting irritated and start looking for faults where there is none. Biko, Madame sting and her voltrons, leave this young lady alone. Ahdaisy, don't let them get to you at all. Keep doing what you do best. I love reading your advice, and no, I don't worship you like they say, I disagree wit u sometimes, but I still learn from you comments. What I do is that I eat the hay and spit out the sticks. You fellow readers should better do the same and stop attacking someone for nothing.
And to those condemning Ahdaisy for giving it back to Madame sting even though she's a Sunday school teacher, I ask you, is she not human? So she's not allowed to get angry and defend herself when she's being attacked in public? I see!
Abena, why do I get a feeling that all this you wrote about Ahdaisy is totally about you. I don't have a personal relationship with Ahdaisy but I have read lots of your comments and to an extent,you just described yourself! No beef!
Hmmmmm, women and our matters. Our genetic make-up is so 'trouble-some' for lack other words to use.
1. For the mail, even me in my marriage, my hubby still keeps some family matters close to him. I end up finding out but still keep mute. Whether it's good or bad aint my business till u tell me personally, then I ll give u my 2 cents.
2. But then I'm smelling rat in this ur r/ship, seeing as u aren't in yet and the siblings blame u 4 sth not ur fault.
3. U might really need to re-access that r/ship. Just like others say 5 years is way too long. Btw, how old are U?
4. Now to the blog fight, I think for once Ahadaisy was trying to say she was lost as to the advice to give. Even her write-up wasn't an epistle in that post. But pple understand differently. Sth, I do vary wt her opinions, do I fight it, NO. All I do is give my own view. Btw, u never know whose idea is going to help the person in problem.
5. And to Ahadaisy, some pple really see marriage as an achievement and act as such. In that scenario, they only end up making pple who are single wt such views pained. So maybe next time, when u don't have much to say, just say little and we ll understand.
6. Btw, I must say that marriage aint an achievement so to say. It's just life course. And whether single or married we are all intelligent women wt lots of potential to offer the world. Btw, single ladies still have a chance to choose the best partner there is.
7. Again, there is NO marriage wtout its troubles. Infact show me that marriage and I ll show U 2 deceivers. Moreso, it is harder in the first few years b4 getting easier. The only solution is forgiveness and tolerance for once u can manage and butting out when it becomes life-threatening.
That said, let's get back to cooking and helping each other through life.
Luchi
Eya i think we need to go back to our cooking matter and stop any forms of relationship or marriage talk cause is begining to brings enemity between people, i see no reason why Sting and Ahidasy will be on top each other's neck cause of a comment.if some1 comment does not make sense to you can you please ignore it and move on and if you really want to comment be sensible if not read only instead of making the person seeking for advice feels bad.we are matured so let act like one.if you are enjoying your marriage please dont flaut it thank to GOD for that,if you are single or engaged pray for a good man.we need to stop acting childish.
Back to the matter you guys have been together for 5yrs has he been secretive for that long or he just started,talk to him and let him know how you feeling about it.but is better you dont know atimes cause some IN-LAW issues na headache e go give you.
Yes she is human, but she pointed out she was a sunday school teacher without being asked and ppl jumped on it. If that wasnt mentioned, then by all means she can tear her pant and fight. For the fact that she pointed out her churchy-thing, it automatically means that she is SUPPOSED to abide by the bible and lead by example and not embarrass herself here.SO PLSS, SAVE US THE BULLSHIT.
Madam Ahdaisy, don't mind dem, dey are only showg a reflectn of demsleves. U're a wondrful contributr 2ds blog n until aunty eya says otherwise. Madam sting is a product of her name, ther4 don't be offended.
EIS
Abena or wateva u are called Abeg take several seat! Find somewhere sit down u and ur TV show!
Wat are u saying??? Like shayor said u are just describing ursef! Ah Daisy makes reasonable comments here n dats why people like her, God has blessed her wit common sense unlik u and Sting dat is so witout it!
So she should keep quite n allow Sting bully abi?? Bcos say she dey teach for church!
Abeg goan sleep jor and stop hyper ventilating!
The chikoo
Hey hey guyz cut d crap!ahdaisy calm dwn u really dnt nid ds,mdam sting upload ur pic den we knw u rnt a coward,bk 2 d real biz u guyz dnt ans d quest dat was put up,marriage isn't perfect 4 any1 bt we can all strive 4 prfctn!
hi
Eish! So I missed the drama sha… Oh well, reading all the comments made a boring day somewhat interesting… Poor Marianne. Hope she got the "advice" she needed although I must say that no matter the quality and/or quantity of advice given, only she knows and can decide what's best for her. Lesson learnt from this post and the comments – look inwards, examine yourself and your intentions before you comment or advise on a blog post… No be every post person dey put mouth… Think before you press the "Publish" button in the comments section…
Is she a leaner… Make she dey allow him use her as cabucabu,make she no do port….. Babe you better port
Hahaha…I wonder when it became a law for only married women to behave while green card is issued to the unmarried ones to run their mouths like running taps… Will this kind of attitude allow a man keep you, think you're smart at it…