MY EXPERIENCE AT SILVERBIRD CINEMA LAST WEEKEND: I LIED

Now I know I’m a very very bad liar. My girls won’t stop laughing till today and they have advised that I enroll in a boarding school to automatically learn how to lie. So, I took the girls to watch a movie last weekend and before we left, I announced that this time “Me I’m going on my own to watch an adult movie oh, because me tired of being the one to sacrifice every time and watch kids movies just so everybody will be together.

We got there, the movie I went to watch wasn’t showing at the time we saw on their website, so I decided to watch instead, Kunle Afolayan’s THE CEO and I’m happy I watched that movie. My experience started with my girls, I didn’t know that kids have become so wise with money and you can’t act the way our mothers used to. My mum collected every kobo I got as a child and I can’t remember ever getting that money back.

Before we left the house, I was given just small money and told that the kids have already been given
money because “Daddy” didn’t know I was going along with the kids. I was specifically instructed to add that money to what they received so they have some fun after the movie. We got to Silverbird and getting that money from my children’s hands was not easy, they suddenly had super glue in their palms and tons of reasons/excuses why they can’t give me or spend the money while mummy is there with them. I managed to convince the big girls but my nine year old “lawyer” made sure she got her money back from me.

The koko of the matter happened when it was time to pay. Honestly, I never paid for a baby before and didn’t know their new rules. Paid for everybody and before the tickets were released, the cashier suddenly saw my baby standing beside me and asked ” How old is the baby?” and I said 2 years. He then requested that I pay one thousand Naira for him and I’m like what? pay for a baby” I told him I can’t pay for a  baby and looking a bit confused, he didn’t know what to do with our other tickets already in his hand. So, he advised that the only thing that can help me is maybe giving a false age when I get to the entrance.

We got there, I submitted the tickets and was asked the age of my baby again. I quickly said “one year 5 months” I said it so fast that the man was like “pardon?” To my wonderment, I couldn’t repeat that false age and all I could do was fake that I didn’t hear what he said. Then he repeated ” how old is the baby” and because I couldn’t repeat that age I first gave, and couldn’t give his real age and “NO” I’m not ready to pay for a baby that will only keep me busy while the movie is showing. I didn’t know what to say and after that loooong pause, I finally replied that he is one year 7 months (God have mercy) and we were let in.

I don’t want to say what I went through with my son asking for his sisters all through the movie because it’s the first time he is watching a movie without them. We parted ways at the entrance and there was no way I could make him understand that they are watching a “kid’s kind of movie” and “mummy is here for a mummies’ movie” I suffered all through trying to prevent him from disturbing other families at the cinema, prevent him from pouring all his popcorn which he refused to let me hold for him, then again his crying that I switch on the lights. I managed to enjoy it because Kunle Afolayan movies are like my favourite in Nollywood right now and THE CEO too was captivating and full of suspense unlike some predictive Naija films, Lol.

We all met after the movies and I narrated to the girls how I got stuck at the entrance unable to easily lie and then, come and see my girls making fun of me.They won’t stop laughing at ‘how far back I am’ To them, if I went to a Boarding Secondary School, lying would be the easiest thing to do because juniors can’t survive there without lying to seniors and prefects and even tutors sef. This afternoon, after 3 days, they remember my Cinema story and start laughing again and dissecting the story like you would a chicken, while I sat down to type and share my little lie with my readers too.

I’m insisting ‘I won’t pay for a baby that’s below 3’  So, next time, help us God! or maybe we stay home till he’s 3 abi? Silverbird Cinema Admin too, they need to review that because a 2 year old child doesn’t even know why he is there in the first place. My boy is still unable to talk clearly, how e wan take understand movie?