Eya, Do you mind sharing this? Saw it somewhere and thought to share with WC.
My husband and I disagreed about something. I did
what I have always done when I had a difference of opinion with someone… I called my Mum.
Before I could even finish my sentence, she asked me if I had prayed about it yet. Before I could respond, she told me that she would not allow me to call her and complain about my husband to her, nor would she allow me to discuss our arguments/disagreements with her.
I sat there stunned. Then she said something that has stuck with me for a very long time. “My daughter, the thing is, because you love him the way you love him, when the argument is over it’s over. But, I don’t love him the way you love him, and it would be far too easy for me to pick up a grudge and carry it if I think he is wrong. You can’t do that to me, or to him. It simply isn’t fair.”
My husband and I disagreed about something. I did
what I have always done when I had a difference of opinion with someone… I called my Mum.
Before I could even finish my sentence, she asked me if I had prayed about it yet. Before I could respond, she told me that she would not allow me to call her and complain about my husband to her, nor would she allow me to discuss our arguments/disagreements with her.
I sat there stunned. Then she said something that has stuck with me for a very long time. “My daughter, the thing is, because you love him the way you love him, when the argument is over it’s over. But, I don’t love him the way you love him, and it would be far too easy for me to pick up a grudge and carry it if I think he is wrong. You can’t do that to me, or to him. It simply isn’t fair.”
Wow, your mum is so right and so wise. She has a very good point. I may be wrong but I think you try as much as possible not to bring in a third party into your marriage.
Chommy
Your mum is a very wise woman.. listen to her. When you have a misunderstanding, talk with him
Ur mum is right, sort ur argument out with ur hubby.
I so love this. Its easier for a previous grudge to blur our assessment of another situation. Love conquers all
U hv a wonderful and understandable mum who knows the norm and value of marriage, No third party in marriage or get ready fo divourse.
I tink ur mum is very rite,she doesn't love ur hubby d way u do so it ll be difficult 4 her 2 forget wot u tel her.I saw a text my hubby sent 2 a lady in hs office recently n flaired,refuse 2 eat n even stopd talkin 2 him,my sis dat stays wit us knew al was nt fine n decided 2 tell my mum since she can't come in2 it.mum kald n ask me wot happened,I refuse 2 tell her cos I wuldnt want 2 kip dat kinda picture of him afteral he's stil my hubby,she had 2 kal him begd him nt 2 be angry wit me so as 2 settle d issue but made him guilty d more n tld her he's d 1 one dat is sorry
Its only a good mother that can tell you this.
But I think she should ave listened as a mother and give her own piece of advice cos if not, d girl would go elsewhere for d advice n she would definitely get a wrong one
What a wise woman! There are things i don't tell my mum because i don't want the impression they have of my hubby to change. Hubby and i just work things out and stay fine. My sister's hubby beat her once a long time ago, my parents got to know about it, and even though my bro-in-law was truly sorry, they made up and he thoroughly apologised, my dad still holds it against him. Dad still can't get over the fact that the dude beat his daughter. If my sis hadn't told them, all would have been well, no hidden grudges and all.
I like dis kind mama abeg! No d 1 wey go cum hate d husbd afta u cum report am.
I agree. The mum is wise. But sometimes u just need someone to unburden to. I could be very hard to always keep everything to ones self. I was brought up never to disclose family issues to friends family anyone..keeping anger within u and having no one to talk to can hurt one even more. I kind of would prefer a mum that will listen.. and then pray along with me.
The mom is right and at the same time, she could have been open minded too.
She should have listened to what her daughter had to say and advise her in settling the issue she had with her husband without taking sides.
I'm with the mother on her stand if her daughter has the habit of ALWAYS informing her mother of any misunderstand she has with her husband.
That won't be good as her mother would start seeing her SIL in a bad light, which won't be good in the long run.
That's wat a gud mother should do.. But somtimes she should listen.
It really true wat her mum did is just d best tin cos I report to my mum wen I ve issues with my hubby n now I noticed dat she really dislikes him now.