Good evening, wives connection. Am a constant reader I really need your advice. Am getting married on saturday traditionally and everything is turning upside down.
First of I told my parents I want a small traditional wedding they said I should just bring what I have which I did. Gave my mom 30,000naira to cook for just both families she went to rent canopy with the money now I don’t have any money to give her again because we still have drinks and the bride-price things to buy.
First of I told my parents I want a small traditional wedding they said I should just bring what I have which I did. Gave my mom 30,000naira to cook for just both families she went to rent canopy with the money now I don’t have any money to give her again because we still have drinks and the bride-price things to buy.
Two days ago my mum started a fight with me and my brother called me names, cursed my brother with her private part saying as he passed through her private part that is what will kill him. Saying he will not progress and said am going to regret my marriage for no reason. Called my husband a poor man saying my elder sister is just doing us a favor because my elder sister is rich and gives her money. My mum told all her friends that am getting married to a poor man that we are going to suffer.
Now my father’ house that should be full of joy is full of sorrow. I really don’t know what to do. Should I go beg my mum and receive insult all my life or just be on my own I do my best with the little money I have.
My own mum is horrible. She cursed all of us that we will never ever have kids in our husband's house.i swear, if I write my story here this blog members will payvme condolence visit. God forbid.
This is a very complicated issue, your mum have acted very bad, but I don't know her, I don't know if she always behaves this way in the past, or this is just the first time, if this is just the first time, personally I think something is wrong somewhere, then in that case I will advice you go beg her, tell her how you feel, ask her why she is acting the way she is acting, and have a heart to heart discussion with her, but if that's her kind of person, if she has always been behaving this way in the past, then I don't think its necessary going to beg her, because from what you said, there is no form of offence from your side, so don't think going to beg her might yield anything, because that's her kind of person
Also it would be wise you discuss this with and elderly and understanding person in the extended Family, or confide in someone she respects and listens to if she has any, to go talk her and plead with her, or a pastor or spiritual leader to help out also and finally prayer is the best tool to use in conquering any challenge, if you don't have anybody to run to, you have God to run
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Beg her and apologise to her. Make peace. Immediately after your wedding, cut her off. Be cos u need her for the wedding. If she does not change and you font cut her off she you very miserable.
Beg her and apologise to her. Make peace. Immediately after your wedding, cut her off. Be cos u need her for the wedding. If she does not change and you font cut her off she you very miserable.
I like ur comments Alloy. Matured and fair. Bonario take a back seat. Infact get off the bus! Your comments are usually one sided and basically annoying.
I have this feeling that my mom cursed me on the day of my traditional marriage though I don't know how to confirm this.
Hubby who is so blessed now that she calls great names used to be underemployed and very poor before our marriage. We couldn't raise a good sum to cover all needed expenses. On the D day, I asked my mom for a little sum to enable me cook a little something special for my few friends. Said she didn't have so I suggested she speak with her hubby(my step dad) to raise something for me. At dat suggestion she flares up and asked why I feel her hubby will give her when my own that is still new and fresh cannot give me money.
I got angry at what she said and stomped out, my aunty supported me and due to mum's utterances earlier, I decided to cook for my friends at my aunt's house and when it was time for the event, everyone gathered while my mom was conspicuously absent. We heard from a reliable source that she swore not to attend… Her family had to send for her. We are good now but fast forward six years, the exact stinginess of my stepfather to mom is what hubby is doing to me. He goes to market himself even as rich and wealthy as he has become: exact way my step dad does to mom. When I run errands for the family, my rich hubby collects his change no matter how small.
When I suggest he gives to other ppl, sometimes he listens but when I ask him for financial assistance for myself, no matter how little, he doesn't give. Even at times when he knows am truly broke, he won't give reason I always try mu best to earn something for myself no matter the situation. I take my jobs seriously cos I know if I lose them, am on my own financially.
Why would my husband begin to do well and then suddenly becomes extremely stingy to me just like step dad to my mom. I suspect she cursed in my absence but do not know how to confront her though this my suspicion affects how I relate with her.
I always pray that if my suspicion is right, then God shd make her confess cos she is enjoying the most from hubby at this her old age. He gives her while she never sees me as the reason he gives to her. She behaves as if it's not through me he knows them. As if I don't matter at all.
Well, I had similar experience during my trad. Reason with ur mum, when u gave her 30k for d trad were u expecting her to cook alone for d visitors? D canopy did u make anoda arrangement for where ur visitors are going to stay? Sometimes we should sit down and reason with our parents, no mother will just wake up and curse her daughter just like dat.Since u don't want big trad why not bring d bride price thing and settle d Umunna them without inviting people? Why call it trad wedding, how much is a bag of rice? Then meat? And so on. Abeg apologise to dat woman am talking frm experience!
Just as you have written, say it to her. You know a woman's true character when you have nothing, and a man's true character when he has plenty. I believe that is the case with your husband. Hopefully your mother can influence him to your benefit. Keep praying. . .one day be one day.
My mom is a very good woman but when it came to my wedding she disappointed me. She refused to contribute, was just about bring bring bring, in fact when the plans started she would always ignore me when I tried to discuss the planning with her. It was very painful, I used to cry every night. At the end of the day, maybe she felt I was too good for the guy I was marrying but whatever,He makes me happy. But whenever I remember how she treated me then I feel very bad.I pray God will help me forgive and forget
A woman who curses her children is evil. Spin it anyhow you want. I am a mother and the day i curse my children not to succede may i drop dead. No matter what they did to me. If a mother cannot forgive her child then who will?
Ask your brother to beg for her forgivness and make her reverse that curse. After that he should cut her off.
As for you she is probably disappointed that you are not marrying a rich man. Come to a compromise with her after that just leave her alone. You are the one that will live with your husband not her. What good is it marrying a rich man and being miserable? Goodluck.
No one will support a mother that cursed her children – no matter the circumstance. However, some children can draw curse to themselves by their attitude and behavior to their parents.
30k for traditional wedding is too small now… was the canopy & chairs not used and did you have a previous agreement that she was going to sponsor the trad?
Probably she felt you wanted to disgrace her and it is possible you said (or did) some annoying things to her… what else would warrant her raining curses – not that I’m approving what she did o.
As parents, we would expect our children to marry when they are matured to some extent – physically, financially, spiritually, & emotionally. A matured tree is able to take care of itself and give out fruit for others to eat. Not being able to take care of your wedding, expecting others to support is not a sign of maturity. We should be able to plan within our means and if people support us, glory be to God!
Nne, go find way to make peace with your mum… It’s not worth it starting on wrong footing with your parents – both of you have plenty to lose. Make peace and move on with your own life. No let mama put sand for your garri.
What of a mom that will hold her naked breasts and curse you becos you didn't sweep the house or mistakenly forgot to do one household chore or the other. That is the kind of person I have as a mom. Very backward for an educated person. I have decided to take the insult now and after my wedding, I will cut her off.
Make peace with her,make sure she prays for u so dat the motherly blessing will go with u. She called ur hus a poor man,do not worry cos Rome was not built in a day. Ur mum doesn't know 2morrow. Be prayerful. —– The Moon !
I know its painful 2be cursed by ur mum but pls try n make peace with her. 4 d trado pls do d little u can like indoor tm to avoid problems or debt . Am married for 4years plus now during my tm my hubby didn't hav much but since my parent r comfortable d didn't want a low class tm so my dad added lots of money to it bought a cow bags of rice drinks in truck etc n gifts d presented to us on our tm infront of everyone though we paid for d necessary things sha till today my hubby respects me for me n for my parents too he cant do anyhow with me cos he knows where am from n how my parents adore me . If u cut ur mum off or don't reconcile with her its not right ur hubby will know u don't have any1 to turn to if u 2hav problems he would even tell u 1day dat ur own mum doesn't want u etc. Ur mum gave u life no matter what apologise n make peace with her plss cos mothers curses are very powerful so I hear o. I wish u d best *hugs*
Ur mother is simply evil! Jeez! Curse her own child like dt! Back to d sender by Fire… Mehn! I'm grateful to God for makin me my mother's child…. I can so so so so annoy n fight my mother but she has never cursed me, not even d common curses around. Tank you Jesus.
Poster wen u apologise, make sure she takes back d curses, dts very essential.. And after ur wedding , let her jst b on her own abeg…I dnt believe dt type of a mother wld b useful for u later in life self… Biko cut her offfffffffffff very well… Wicked woman she is.
Nawaa o. Indeed i have †ђ3 best mum on earth.. Kiky is very correct, no mother should curse esp her offspring cos it must definitely come to pass.. Its wicked
Sometimes when I listen to people's problems abt there parents or husband,I jst thank this very God. Poster plz go nd make peace with ur mother nd always pray for her to understand that all dat glitters is not gold.goodluck.
truest talk……..
why are some mothers like that self? please make peace with her but don't take any insult from her, reject it immediately.
Hmmmm! U do not know the value of what you have until u loose it. My mum is just so precious. And God has blessed me with a very gracious mother in law. My dear d only way out is to Make peace with her so dat d curse wld be reverted.
http://www.makeupcubicle.blogspot.com
just pray her b4 makn peace. Ur mum is a bad woman. If u want to hear d truth.
Av been a silent member but feel I shld say this. Your mum might curse from today till tomorrow and it would have no effect. Am a christian and I believe that nobody can determine how my future will turn out, no amount of proclamation be it positive or negative will make a dent in my life as far as it was not authorized by God. All those people cursing and hating my reply is always" God has given me dominion over all principalities, authorities so no amount of cursing will affect me.
When I finished sec sch in 1999,my parents tried to marry me off to a wealthy man living in lagos. I was only 18 and the man was 38. So I refused. Come and see curses! My mum cursed me with every venom in her. Fast forward today,I am 33 still single and no job,6yrs after graduation even with a 2.1. I don't wanna believe its her curses though she later asked me to kneel down and prayed for me some years back,that was before I gained admission into uni and she prayed and renounced everything she said. Well,I don't want to believe her curse is working against me but The moral is dat I don't understand how any parent would curse their kids. The irony of the whole thing is she is still d same person going to every ministry and every man of God on my behalf.
na wa 4 sum mama o. God 4bid. Wicked souls. @ joesphine u better pray hard. Hummmn dat ur mum is evil
4get all dat runing around abeg.
My mother! She cursed me every blessed day from my childhood. "God punish you" "You will not be anything good in life" "you will cry and nobody will wipe your tears" etc. This is what I grew up hearing. For every little mistake/stubborness, curses. And trust me, she said heavy curses over all of us but mine was the worst.
Now I HATE her. Things have not always gone smooth for me and whenever anything goes wrong, I remember her. When people say they love their mothers, I cringe. I don't love mine, I don't consider her to be my mother even though she brought me to this world. I only pray God helps me forgive her for all the emotional and psychological trauma her curses have caused me for the past 35 years.
Worst part: she is a drama queen. Always asking people to ask me why I hate her. Madam pls swerve, we have never had a relationship, I doubt we ever can/will. All I pray is for God to help me forgive you, I love myself enough to want my own peace of mind. That's all !
ThatOronGirl
Hahaha. My dad Called me useless and said he regretted sending me to school because i was marrying out of our tribe. That in fact he wonders if I'm his child. Ndi Igbo kwenu. Little did they know that from time I had prayed to God not to give me an Igbo hubby. Nigeria is too large abeg. I believe in diversity and God blessed me with a wonderful man( not Igbo. Mind you). But I thank God for my mum that woman is sent from heaven I swear. But the funny thing is my sis who is married to an Igbo man is always having issues. Today hubby tomorrow inlaws. But I have been given the power to conquer all principalities and powers and I believe.
Hahaha. My dad Called me useless and said he regretted sending me to school because i was marrying out of our tribe. That in fact he wonders if I'm his child. Ndi Igbo kwenu. Little did they know that from time I had prayed to God not to give me an Igbo hubby. Nigeria is too large abeg. I believe in diversity and God blessed me with a wonderful man( not Igbo. Mind you). But I thank God for my mum that woman is sent from heaven I swear. But the funny thing is my sis who is married to an Igbo man is always having issues. Today hubby tomorrow inlaws. But I have been given the power to conquer all principalities and powers and I believe.
childish talk!
says who? It wil cum to pass only wen d children are nt innocent.
mine is like dat. So wicked and heartless.
Wow, some of these moms should be up for awards as the "worst moms of the year." No mother's day recognition for these bad moms.