As a mother, when I saw photos of pastor Chris Oyakhilome’s daughter’s wedding. I searched for Anita the mother of the beautiful bride. She should be the ‘mother of the day and cannot afford to be absent I thought. I looked carefully, didn’t see her. Zoomed in, didn’t see her then I saw comments Online, other
worried readers asking where is Pastor Chris’ ex wife? Did she miss her daughter’s wedding? And so many other questions. I felt for her honestly and wondered how the bride would be feeling about her mother’s absence but looking at her, Carissa the bride seemed really happy in her beautiful wedding dress. I actually got a bit more interested and searched Online for possible reasons she is absent but couldn’t find any. So, what else than to let it go and face my front…
Today, another concerned Nigerian posted this question on Social media and got really really bashed. People are blaming other readers for slamming him but I think the way that he posted the question was meant to ridicule the Father of the bride, Pastor Chris Oyakhilome. He talked about their divorce in a very judgemental way asking what they are teaching their followers. This man sha may not have read Anita’s blog which she published after the divorce. The ex wife wrote about how unhappy she was in the marriage. She talked about how uncomfortable she was with all the ladies working around her husband and so much more. I haven’t visited that blog in a long while and can’t even remember the name now so, cannot say if it’s still running or not but all I can say is that the SM poster shouldn’t have been that judgemental because he himself is not perfect, he has faults that others don’t see because they are not as public as divorce matters. As we grow older, we try to feel more, to be more realistic in life and accept the truth that no one man born of woman is righteous, it’s only by his grace that we are saved. None is perfect on this earth. I mean NO ONE! We all still confess sins/mistakes whether openly or privately. (If you think any man is perfect, please tell us their names in the comment box below).
If Jesus was walking around in Nigeria today preaching and healing the sick and then, Anita and her ex husband were brought before him to pass judgement. I can’t imagine Jesus condemning them, all I can see is him telling them to ‘go and sin no more’ I know God doesn’t support divorce but from the way that Pastor Anita described her marriage, there is no way that Jesus would have condemned her for taking a decision to help herself. There is no way he would have said “You must continue to remain married and be unhappy forever” He would have perhaps settled their matter and helped them fix those areas of their ailing marriage that needed to be fixed before reconciling and renewing their vows to start on a fresh slate as a new couple, just maybe.
I was shocked too when I heard about their divorce but felt sympathy for her after reading her lamentation on her blog and also felt like maybe they weren’t compatible for each other. That they are pastors does not make them automatically compatible because personalities differ. Plenty money too could have caused problems in their marriage and that can happen to anyone, pastor or not.
The man that posted on Social Media got slammed because he was judging them for ending their marriage and talking with no respect whatsoever. What mother won’t want to be at her daughter’s wedding? Which sane mother will not attend her first daughter’s wedding? Unless there are still issues and the only way out is to be absent. Considering the way their divorce process went, what if there is an injunction on her attending the Nigerian branch of their church which is where the wedding may have held. What if she and ex hubby (Father of the bride) aren’t in good terms after their divorce?
Whatever the issue, it’s possible mum and her daughter have other arrangements to make up for that day. If her absence is what is needed for daughter’s wedding to hold, why won’t she stay away and let her child be happy on that special day? After the wedding, they will sure see and make up for all the lost time. She may have watched events live from where she was. She may have been in bed the whole day crying over how things turned out for them, a couple that people once looked up to. She may have remembered all the effort she put into producing morning devotion books for families and how her own family fell apart.
If the concerned Social Media man had posted a question without judgements, there is no way he would have been so slammed. See his post below…
It’s well with them.