I just read your old posts and stumbled on it. I was sad when I saw comments made by blog visitors. The way some even mocked her was just not fair.
Well, I decided 2 write to you to know if there is a way you can link me up with her. I know it might be late or perhaps she must have overcome by now, but u never can tell
I had exactly d same problem she has/had. Infact mine took almost 3yrs before I got a solution.. I thought all hope was lost, until I met someone that was informed. It ws actually a medical issue and it took me several therapies and mind setting to over come. You would not know how frustrating this was.
So I’m pleading, if there is a way you can let me get in contact with her. Who knows,you might just be saving a marriage. Lots of people suffer from this but they fail to speak up until it becomes extreme, just like in my case.
Please reply me and let me know what next. Even if she declines, still let me know please. Cheers and regrds to your family especially the new born. Top of the weekend.
My Reply:
Okk, your mail will be published. Maybe someone wd be able to help.
Yes, her name is Chidi. I still think about her, I pray she and baby
are fine cos we didn’t hear from her after delivery.
Even her bff Onuorah did not inform us of Chidi’s delivery. I expected
a birth announcement from her sha.
Posting now. Some other woman might be experiencing that bedroom fear too.
I pray you are able to link up with the woman and render the necessary assistant
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Forgive my ignorance but did you delete Chidi's emails Eya? Because if you didn't then you still have her email address in your inbox so all you need to do is contact her to check up on how she is doing and let her know about this lady and give her this lady's contact I am assuming you have her email and she can take it from there if she feels she needs help. You can only take the horse to the river you cannot force it to drink water. If you have been trying to contact her with no reply then I do apologize for my comment
Lol, anon 10.11, ur right on point.she shd hv her email.aunty eya plss help a sister.
Lol, anon 10.11, ur right on point.she shd hv her email.aunty eya plss help a sister.
Hi poster. Appreciate ur trying to reach Chidi. But may I suggest that u share ur experience with the house? U just might be surprised there are a no of women with similar issues who are to scared or embarrassed to seek for help. Ur story might make a whole world of difference to them. I'll be expecting ur post soon. Thanks
Ohk, just seeing ds, but I sure will.. Wil b ryt back
Poster
My story is kinda long. But I'll try 2cut it short. I got married sometime in 2011 as a virgin. Dated my hubby a year and half b4 our wedn. We agreed no sex b4 marriage. Buh afta our wedn, i ws unable 2hv sex wit him. No matter how hard we tryd, it felt like it ws impossible 2me. Our parents intervened, our mums wil call me and talk and talk and talk yet notyn. Until one day hubby felt enof ws enof. He askd me 2 leave his house. Dat ws like after 10 months of our wedn. I ws frustrated, I wntd 2run 2any wr asides home. I felt I ws a failure. But luckily 4me, mum called me jst while I ws contemplating wich city or evn village 2head 2 (need I add dat she ddnt knw I ws sent out and plan'n 2run away. Well may b mother's instict). I had 2open up 2her and she pleaded wit me 2cm home.
Wn I got home, my parents decided it cud b spiritual, d took me 4rm one church 2 anoda and of cos d wr busy seeing wteva vision. One evn said I ws possessed and married 2 spirit husband and bla bla bla. Mnwhile, my hubby's family had started mounting pressure on him 2 cm home and strt a divorce process. Stories had strtd goin round and one of his cousins hrd it. She called him up and told him she had a former colleague dat had d same issue smtym ago and it ws medically treated.
Hubby called me 2 tel me about what he discussed wit his cousin. D said d condition ws known as "VAGINISMUS" (google is our frnd, lol). He took sm days off 4rm work 2cm home. While his family wr tinkn he ws coming bk 2strt d divorce process, he ws coming 2 apologize 2my family and tk me home. Without d support of his family, he took me bk, i strtd my therapy wit d lady dat once had d issue and nw had her 2kids. It wsnt easy, she gave me materials she read during her time. Diaz dis book titled "Overcoming Vaginismus".. I had 2 read online as well. All d materials I read suggested I get dilators. Dilators are a set objects shaped like d human penis and d come in different sizes. I ws 2 use dem and practice in order 2get my vaginal muscles 2relax and get used 2 objects inside it. It ws stil hard tho. Becos evn d smallest dilator ws as big a my 2fingers put 2geda. D book I ws readn nw stated dt if d dilators are 2big, I cn strt wit q-tips (dt is generally called cotton bud), den graduate 2 tampoons b4 goin bk 2d dilators. After achievn success it wit d cotton bud, I graduated 2d tampons. Mnwhile I ws also doin d kegels cos dat ws also written in d book. After dat, I found I cudnt graduate 2d dilators as d stil seemed big, not evn d smallest dilator. Long story short, d woman guiding me thru decided we see a doctor frnd of hers.
D doctor tryd 2 examine me down dia but I wsnt hvn any of dat cos it ws uncomfortable 4me. Infact we almost fought cos I struggled and struggled. At a time she decided d had 2tk me 2 d theatre, put me under anastasia, den examine me and also help dialate me.. D wr goin 2put d biggest size dilator in me, and I wil carry it 4 smtym n get use 2it. Hmmm.. Date ws fixed and I ws sent 2d theatre and dilatation ws carried out on me under anastasia. Long story short, after I went home, I had 2 practice and practice and practice wit my dilators and also wit d help of lubricants like Pre-seed, and nw I'm preggers after almost 3yrs into our marriage
I must say it ws nt easy, time wil fail me 2say all d emotional trauma I went thru. Did I mention dat wn I ws sent packing, my parents decided dat perhaps it ws spiritual, d tuk me 4rm one church 2 anoda and of cos, trust dz pastors 2 see tyns lolz. One evn said I had spirit husband and so many oda tyns. I ws jst looking @ dem. I wondered hw someone can b possessed and not know.
Meanwhile dia are several causes of vaginismus, like if d person ws once raped or molested as a kid, or religious belief etc (u cn read dem up). Infact I had 2ask my mum if I ws at any time molested as a kid, may b perhaps I cudnt remembr but she said notyn like dat happend. I literally saw my world caving in on me, but God ws faithful in all of ds. Coupled wit d kind of loving and patient husband He gave me.
Tnk u all, 4 allowing me share my story wit u guys, its quite exciting as I hv neva really talked 2 pple about ds cos smtyms it stil feels embarrassing 2 talk about it, but I hope some day, I'll b able 2 share my story physically and also help sm1 out dia jst like dt woman helped me all thru. Mk una fashy typos as I ddnt hv time 2 proof read. I'll b glad 2 ans questions if anybody has
Wow. I'm going to publish this as a separate post.
Thank God for your life.