Hi Mrs Eya, good morning. I am an addict of wives connection blog who has never posted before, this is my first time. Please help put it up without my details. I need advice on how to move on when you are convinced a relationship has run it’s course. I was looking forward to
marriage in the nearest future, waiting to get a ring (proposal), waiting to be taken to meet his family but all that just keeps dragging. When I started dating 2 years ago, no one would have thought that after 2 years I will still be unfit to call him my fiance. Yes, he hasn’t proposed at all. We are fine or so I think, there is no major fight or argument but things are just stagnant, not moving the way I want. 2 years without even a proposal, what does the future hold for me here. Time is not waiting, I’m growing older, my mum is looking forward to something solid yet nothing. I cannot remain a girlfriend for ever like we see in Nollywood movies, I don’t want to be that lady that will waste all her precious years with one guy and the day she leaves him, he proposes to another without delay and Invites are out the very next, God forbid bad thing. I want to leave me because I have a feeling this relationship has run it’s course and getting harder and harder. I won’t allow my feelings of affection destroy me. I can’t continue staying with someone too selfish to put me first while I put him first in everything.
Aunty Eya, I don’t see any future here, the longer we stay in this relationship, the harder and colder it gets. I have lost interest and do not need advise on how to make it work. I need advice on how to detach myself without feeling hurt. I want to know how to stop caring and move on the way other ladies do. I don’t handle breakups well, before this relationship, I got really really hurt after a break up and I can’t face that anymore. Please, I would like to know any tips anyone has used that helped them heal fast.
Poster, why not be patient with your man? He is there cracking his brain daily thinking of how to plan the future while all you think about is how to dump his sorry ass? Daughters of eve will never change.
Dear Poster,pls be patient. Patience is a great virtue. I dated my hubie for 4years, he never proposed. He just me his dad will visit my dad, fix a day for our introduction. We did the intro and d ddate for wedding ws fixed. My marriage is 4yrs nw, hubie flaunts me everywhere and he's stil d same loving n caring man I fell in love wt. Som. Men dnt just like all these proposal stuffs. Understanding is all U need.
Poster, what is the hurry? Did you ever even love him? Or you just decided to date him because you felt he would be ready to marry. Ypu haven't even mentioned a single thing he has done wrong. Is this how you want to be hopping every 2 years until you find a man that proposes within your 2 years time frame? Do you even have legitimate reasons for wanting to get married? Are you sure you have the qualities of a wife even? I am just confused at how you have decided time is up and you are moving on, without a tangible reason. In all i wish you all the best in your endeavours in finding a husband!!
Dear Poster, Don't be in a hurry. Everything will be alright. Just give him time to act.
Hmmmm OK let's strt here. A patient Dog eat d fattest bone but sometimes a patient dog doesn't get any bone to eat. Times have changed, it is true dt patience is a great virtue. Is greater when u know what u waiting worth d wait. But u should know where ur rshp is facing while waiting. If u know d worth of something u ll wait as much as possible. Lemme be diplomatic here too. Ppl wait for 5-7-8yrs and still happy together bt. All I ll just say now is DEFINE your relationship while u waiting dts all. U guys should talk it out. COMMUNICATION is everything. Remember everyone must not marry same day oooooo n u can't b too sure about d next rshp u going into if it ll leave your marriage. D devil u know is better than d angel u don't PERIOD.
Poster, let me borrow Brandy's comment "… DEFINE your relationship while waiting…"
In addition, have an open mind to other relationships while closing your legs: open-legs most likely lead to open-ended relationships…
Poster just pause for a moment,analyse your self,put your self in your boyfriend's shoe,weigh ur attitude to that of a good wife,how many did it weigh,if you are your boyfriend will you marry a girl like u? If u are a wounderful lady and u know any man will run to u cos of ur character but ur bf is feeling less concern then note thus (1)u are acting bad towards him cos u feel it is high time he marries u. (2)He wants to stand well before getting married(marriage no be to greet beans do moi moi oooo)(3)He have a girl friend else where who he wants to marry but finds it had to tell u cos he achieves something's from you..stay calm and wait for a year more and u will find the answer u have been wanting . I know of a lady who had a relationship with her boyfriend for 15 blessed good years but the man never proposed,he was just waisting the girls life cos he know the girl loved him with all her heart but thank God the girl made up her mind to leave the man,now she is picking up the pices of her waisted life with another man who loves her even where she steps on.
Why you all advising a lady to continue to wait for a man that hasn't even proposed? How much does it cost to propose? Delay can be dangerous.
Correction *lead to marriage not leave.
#Note proposing isn't marriage. Besides we saying DEFINE while waiting. After all u can't meet a guy in a month or two n begin to ask or b expecting proposal dis ll make her look desperate kinda. If she can define it gud, if she can't den she can check sum other shops for what she's looking for.
The poster is the one in d relationship and she is d best person to knw if des relationship is going any where,she's a lady and believe me most times our intuition neva lie to us,its not all relationship dt leads to marriage,pls poster while u re stil wit des present relationship keep an opened mind for anoda one not an open legs thou in order for u not to regret ever waiting bcs must times who we tink is rite for us might not be d person God has destined for us to end up wit. Somone telling d poster to check herself well to know if she's a wife material,hve u not heard d saying dt evn if u cook,behave well and do all kinds of a tins for ur guy,if dt is not meant to be,nothing can change it. Pls poster u re d one wearing d shoes and know how it hurts,d best advise is d one u give urself.
@Stephs… I like your thoughts…, but… "Ladies intuition neva lie? The best advice is d one u give yourself?"
Poster, you're just being desperate. You obviously started with the relationship with the idea or hope that the dude in question would propose. The truth is there is actually no defined period of time that determines the readiness of marriage between the people involved. There are many things that come to play in the minds and actions of the involved persons. Poster, if I may ask, are you open to your partner? From your write up, you seem like a person who's filled with assumptions and it's obvious that you may have failed to define your relationship from the onset.
Really, not every successful marriage started with a proposal. This proposal of a thing self, i nor understand. I think parental consent should come first na. Abi? So, my dear poster, as you haven't stated what Mr.X did that is unacceptable, why not try and be open to him before taking a final decision.
Yes Mr Johnson our intuition neva lie espcailly one dt is guided by the holy spirit as am a living witness to dt and yes d best advise is the one u give urself,bcs men and women will bring their advice buh when u go dwn in prayer and u listin to d tiny voice inside u and follow that voice which is also the holy spirit,u can neva go wrong, thou u can only have these wonderful experience when one is born agn.
Liked your comments @ Stephs…