I must commend the admin for what she is doing, in order to help us learn and gain experience in this blog
Here is my story: I am a mother of 5 kids,i got married at a very early age due to pressures and matters beyond my powers to control den,am still in my 20s,i love my husband and I believe he does too but de problem is dat each time I asked for money, he gets angry, he is rich, at least we feed well,he dashs outsiders money but each time I his wife asks for money he gets angry and gives me all types of excuses or he may even ask,whats de money for or what are u doing with de money ,even 1000 naira brings de problem, so in order for peace to rain ,i stopped asking him for mone.
den at a stage he opened small provision store in front of our house,pass buyers toast me in de shop bcos dey thought I was his sis nt wife,i endured all dat ad managed with de kids al thought dere is no gain,my children eats all de gain in it,by den when I asked for any money,he will say bring from de shop,dat continued until early last 2years when thieves broke in ad made away with almost all my goods,de shop is closed nw,I wanted to join him in his biz al thought its nt woman biz type bcos its mechanical tools but keeps promising me.
Now he said dat he wants me to enroll in a beauty institution next year,i even had to use all my saving and send to someone in dubia last month to help me buy some goods so dat I can get some money dis xmas,de person eats half of de money ad den send small bags ad shoes which am struggling to sell to friends,i cant beg friends for help bcos dey wont, dey will say dat how can dey add a cup of water in an ocean, meaning bcos my hus has money, dey may think am just pretending, all he does is keeps promising me heaven and earth.
I ones told him dat I might die b4 he fulfils his promise, dat let him give me to eat now dat am alive. He bought a car last 3 years as a wedding gift but financially am broke,he goes out to brag with people how he lavish me with money even in my presence,all eyes on me bcos dey thought am enjoying money, pls I need ur advices on how to handle him and what I can do to stop begging him for money in order for peace
I'll be happy if you can stop asking him for money and just enjoy peace in your marriage. To be fair to him, scholarship fee for five kids is not easy, the kid's upkeep, accommodation, feeding, paying the bills and other needs. If you don't beg him for money anymore, you'll be surprised his respect for you will go up. With the little you are making now, live simple and try to be a bit independent, take care of your needs and show appreciation for all that he is doing alone. You know, you are also a parent and not a child. If you had, nothing wrong with making financial contributions to help ease your husband's burden. You think he has money but maybe it's just enough to take care of his family. Now the kids are still little with responsibilities on him, you try to cut down on personal expenses ok? If you used to fix expensive weaves and use costly make up, cut down for now until the kids are grown. Make sacrifices for your family cos it won't last forever. Things will change very soon and life will be less hard once they start leaving. Imagine if you were the husband, as soon as you get home from paying School fees and rent, madam asks for money to go do her hair.
Sorry I meant to say school fees. To add to what I said, if you used to sew dresses often, cut down for now. If you need many outfits for events, it's not by force to attend all. Think of other things you can do to simplify your life for just these few years of raising those kids.
Awwwwww anty Eya has said it all. She spoke out my opinion
Thanks admin,i have been enduring it for years nw,hoping for change and for my kids to grow up but he dashs money any how outside,forgot to add,he ones told me dat he has tried me with no money and seen my character, dat he will soon try me with money but am still waiting,i have stop asking for money for a long time,i thought dere is sometin I can do to remedy dis,dere is no money only on my side
Sorry Eya I don't quite agree with you, the guy obviously has more money than she does and expects her to use up the little that she has to sort out her expenses. What happened to Vex money? What happened to savings? What if God forbid something happens to him tomorrow and he is no more and family comes to take everything or he decides he wants a younger wife? What would she do? I definitely agree she should find something doing but I do not think she should be spending all of her money. Besides madam why are you not working? Your husband has a right to be cranky when it comes to money because times are hard and he would be more obliged to give you money if you were also bringing in a sizeable income and besides its his money he has a right to ask you what you want to use it for because he sees you like one of his children – someone to be taken care of. You think its easy having 6 mouths to feed in this economy? it sounds like you havent really worked before so you may not know what its like. Bottom line is find something to do, there are many online beauty stores in Nigeria that offer a wholesale program try one of them instead of sending someone to Dubai
Hmmm @ Anonymous please I thought with the court registry the woman at least to sine extent would not be allowed to face such barbaric treatment from family members as the court would interprete that her husband's property is also hers incase he demise God forbid). Hmm for the woman Hmmm God would see you through.
Na so as if Nigerians would heed to that, besides they can appeal and while this is going on the poor woman would have access to nothing………..even though they might not even win the case they will do this to frustrate her life