I Want To Feel Respected, please Advise Me

Good day to you madam Eya.Hope our babies are kicking in the Lord.May God continue to give you strength– Amen
Let me start by saying I work in a construction site where you get to me lots of people.Am not a proud person and I show respect to those that respect me but what has been trending @my place of work is that some people keep saying
this lady doesn’t greet us and they are mostly the security guys and men even to those that sweep and are not my age mate.

I try to satisfy people but I think its getting out of hand.I go to banks and other companies and I see the way the security men and others(such as those that sweep or those that cook for the company staff)respect their boss even up to the person that just graduated!Funny enough,this people don’t even greet me except I greet them first.

Am always thinking maybe bcos its my small stature that makes them think am a small in age but am almost close to 35yrs of age! Please my WC family,I kindly need advise though there’s a saying that if everybody likes you,then there’s a problem but how do I combat this thing?Thanks

21 thoughts on “I Want To Feel Respected, please Advise Me”

  1. To add to what I wrote up there,I dress well,nice hair do's and I carry myself well.The only thing I just observe is that I don't have problems with my mates but only the workers on site and mind you,i don't look down on them.Just waiting for comments.THANKS
    POSTER

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  2. Just say "una well done ooo" whenever you pass. It doesnt take anything from you. And it doesn't make u lesser of a person.
    Trust me, these so called security or gate men or cleaners might have a role to play that might affect your life one day…. You dont believe me abi? God forbid you have a trouble outside the office or a little crisis or need help or assistance they can easily jump to ur rescue becos then they'll see you as " nice madam"…. it might never come to the point that you'll ever need their help tho, but you never know….
    Anyway, aside all that, just hail them when you pass….it makes you the "bigger person/madam"; you have your peace, and things are less awkward that way….

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  3. when i enter my office building, i just paste a smile on my face and wave to a few people, keep my face straight and walk to my office. if my wave didn't get to you that's your cup of tea and some days, i just ignore everyone if i'm not feeling chatty. Do they pay my salary? don't mind those attention seekers

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  4. Do ur best and ignore the comments, u can't be nice n friendly to all else u will be taken for granted and mocked or talked about. No matter what u do, dem go still talk, just smile n walk past

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  5. Do ur best and ignore the comments, u can't be nice n friendly to all else u will be taken for granted and mocked or talked about. No matter what u do, dem go still talk, just smile n walk past

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  6. Do ur best and ignore the comments, u can't be nice n friendly to all else u will be taken for granted and mocked or talked about. No matter what u do, dem go still talk, just smile n walk past

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  7. Thanks everyone for the candid advice.But the problem is that lyk dis evening for example,as I was passing thru the main gate,the security guy just looked me in the eye and didn't greet! If I don't greet them,dey won't greet me! They also change the security pple every 3months.Will take it to God in prayers.POSTER

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  8. My dear, its easy na! Wen u dey enter office, just permanet one smile for face with a wave or nod to accompany it! "Weldone there ooo" "family nko?" Just pack all of em together. Those wey hia fine, those wey nor hear for morning go dey wait to hear for evening, cos morning pple for don gist them. Then one Friday do big madam for them, wait till Monday and fear go catch u na! Truth is my dear, this pple r just plain frustrated pple that think less of themselves each second,dnt bother ur head, just play ur own role abeg! They come in handy in both evil and good ways, abeg be in their good books. Muah. All da best

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  9. my dear,they only do so bcos dis madam no dey drop sth…like someone said do"big madam" for them and see d transformation. na u go taya for greeting sef.. but on d other hand,pls it takes noting out of u to greet pple whether security or governor,u'll never know who is watching and learning that gesture.

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  10. appreciated (or seen), do more. A little more smile, more hello – how are you? ‘How was your weekend and the family?. It will not take anything from you to be the 1st to greet but will save you the heartache of feeling not respected. You can make it a policy to always be the 1st to greet…
    On the flip side, are you sure these people are not being intimidated by your personality… But sha, try to draw a balance and don’t overdo it, else dem go begin ‘rolja’ you and if you don’t give, the situation remains (if not worsen)!

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  11. You cannot see yourself better than the way others see you… If your current effort at being nice is not appreciated (or seen), do more. A little more smile, more hello – how are you? ‘How was your weekend and the family?. It will not take anything from you to be the 1st to greet but will save you the heartache of feeling not respected. You can make it a policy to always be the 1st to greet…
    On the flip side, are you sure these people are not being intimidated by your personality… But sha, try to draw a balance and don’t overdo it, else dem go begin ‘rolja’ you and if you don’t give, the situation remains (if not worsen)!

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  12. In my humble opinion, being nice and friendly does not cause people to take advantage of us. No one can take advantage of us unless we allow them.

    I don't understand the point you are making when you wrote, "they are mostly the security guys and men even to those that sweep and are not my age mate". Does that mean that they don't deserve acknowledgement? Is it possible that you are not aware of what your body language is communicating?

    Everyone deserves respect no matter their status. That is the way God would have us behave. I have learned that when we have a particular status level people are sometimes intimidated by us and are afraid to speak. It has happened to me. Maybe the person that looked you in the face did not speak because he was afraid of your reaction. Sometimes when we greet them first it puts their minds at ease and going forward they won't be afraid to speak. Greet them first. It will not take anything away from who you are.

    Blessings!

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  13. My dear dere is notin in greeting but i tink dey do it on purpose atimes, in my estate d security guys dere dnt grit women atimes bt if am drivin in and a man is befr me dey grit d man n ignore me, i only wave to dem wen i feel like cos i tink dey feel i dont deserve it maybe i look like a young teenager,bt if am in d car wit hubby dey will all stand n greet imagine dat, so take am easy and try doin weekends fr dem and see hw tins goes, gud luck

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