Good morning Aunty Eya my name is Amina and my no is………….. I am 21yrs old and presently serving in one of the Eastern states. My problem now Is that I think am too scared of my father, even when he is doing things that don’t suit me like changing my plans impromptu, I find it very hard to say “daddy that’s going to ruin my schedule.”
I see my
friends and the way they relate with their dads’ and I begin to wonder maybe something is wrong with me.
Present issue I have to sort with him now is going home for sallah, because he works in a neighboring state and he will be going home so he wants me to go with him and I already had my mind made up about doing my sallah here.
If I go home for sallah I might not be happy because it was never in my plan to go before but because am scared of talking to him I will go and be moody the whole time.
And each time I have an issue with him, it affects everything around me coz it gets me thinking that when will I ever live like an adult.
Though he is a very strict father, I have friends that have strict fathers too and they talk to their fathers. Another issue is he doesn’t want his children out of his sight at all, someone wants to help me get a job after service and it will be in Abuja and mom is already saying that if it works out,dad won’t like the idea of me going to Abuja to work.
I don’t know how to tackle these problems at all because it’s affecting my day to day life. Thanks for your advice.
I see my
friends and the way they relate with their dads’ and I begin to wonder maybe something is wrong with me.
Present issue I have to sort with him now is going home for sallah, because he works in a neighboring state and he will be going home so he wants me to go with him and I already had my mind made up about doing my sallah here.
If I go home for sallah I might not be happy because it was never in my plan to go before but because am scared of talking to him I will go and be moody the whole time.
And each time I have an issue with him, it affects everything around me coz it gets me thinking that when will I ever live like an adult.
Though he is a very strict father, I have friends that have strict fathers too and they talk to their fathers. Another issue is he doesn’t want his children out of his sight at all, someone wants to help me get a job after service and it will be in Abuja and mom is already saying that if it works out,dad won’t like the idea of me going to Abuja to work.
I don’t know how to tackle these problems at all because it’s affecting my day to day life. Thanks for your advice.
Amina pls I will like you, try and talk to your dad it won't be easy, but ur courage will let him know that u r now an adult and can make decisions on ur own! I used to suffer frm dis same tin, mine was as bad as studying the course and going to the school my dad wanted. But d 1st day I spoke uo, suddenly I gain a certain respect, decisions are not made without consulting me, you can 1. Send him a long details text. 2. Tell ur mum to talk to him. If he doesn't walk pick up ur phone and give him congent n compelling reason y u can travel for sallah. If you can do this its a 1st step bcos u r not seeing him face to face. When I broke out mine was face to face and I even added drama by crying*covers face* wish u all the best.
Na wa o,will he marry u? I hv a strict dad too,but his own is dont bring any man to my house until u want to marry n dont stay out till after 8pm,i m so used to those ones cos i grew wit d rules lol, as for traveling he frowns at it but i still travel,highest na vex him go vex loool. Jst do as he wants for nw, or tell him u will be workking dat period,he beta gets used to not seeing o cos wen u marry it will be hard for him
My dad is just like your dad..same thing happening to me now.am a pharmacist and am 22,just got a job and my dad will branch at my workplace to see me everyday, if there's traffic he's gonna be monitoring my movement with calls.its so hard to talk to him, he will say his decision is final
@deborah..have tried all those stunts u showed your dad but it didn't work.
@poster,am a muslim and practicing one,you are also a muslim, muslim parents wants their children even the married ones to spend sallah at home, I don't argue with ma dad on that.@least he didn't tell you to come home and fast sef.so try go home for salah and for the abuja job, let him see reasons and tell him the allowances and benefit you will get from the job.sweet mouth him very well.
My dear, I don't tink u shld b scared of him. Try n talk 2 him. Ur an adult 4 cryin out loud. If u were below 18, I 4 undastand.
You are 21 years old, when you want to enter school who picked the course you do for you? Take four or 5 years from 21.he stil see you the same way 5 years ago. Be friendly with him, talk to him and express your feelings. At 21 he's not seeing you the way yu are seeing yourself (adult)
I agree with u! Am married but my dad still calls me to remind me to lock the doors, turn on security light etc. Duh now he has reduced the calls sha.
Awwwww,daddy girls.u guys are so lucky jare my dad does not care.
Those with living and loving dads, appreciate.
I'm d last last child n my dad wanted girls so when I came he was very happy.but while growing up my dad was something else.I don't recevie calls 4rm guys no male visitors even in d university he still comes to check on me,my dad felt I was a baby.but I had 2 tell him that I was all grown up,wen I was going 4 my NYSC in abj n it was a big fight between us n it was not easy.but he finally calmed down mayb then he felt it was time 2let me grow up.@d poster till u let ur dad know that u ar all grown up he will still see u as a child.
i tink u shld jst try nd av a heart to heart discussion wit ur dad,tell him hw u feel nd explain to him why some of his decisions affects u as a person.i believe he wants d best for u.jst try dis nd u will be surprised @ his response.
Hahahahaha…really funny. Well i fink most father love their daughters especially 1st.. They play d role of a father n bodyguard as well… Somtims over do it. At 28 my dad stil feel n treat me lik a child,he monitors my movement up n down. Somtims i get angry n he ll tell me dat he is after my safety. I jst tak him lik a carin father he is. I fink u shuld do dat 2
Mine died when i was 5,wish i have someone doting on me too. Those that do should please appreciate it. Thanx. Ayo
Love my dad so much. He treats us all like gold. He accompanies me to the bustop everyday whenever am going to work at 5:30am. He just has to see me before i live in the morn.n whenever am held up. Maybe cos of traffic,he comes to wait for me again at d bus stop to bring me home. He does d same for my elder brother who is married n his wife. He checks up on them in the morn n at night to know if they r bk from work. My sis in law feels she has got the best father in law ever n she thanks God all the time. Pls enjoy ur dad very well now. Many pple out there wish to av a Father who cares abt them. If u cant talk to him,then write him a letter expressing your feelings. It worked for me. All the best.Sure,he still thinks u r his little baby.
Remember when i was posted to Taraba for my NYSC. Men.. na war o. Me wey never comot for Lagos in my whole life. He didnt want me to go. I cried, I pleaded with him, i had to write him a letter expressing my desire to go. At least to leave Lagos for once. My mum then didnt help matters at all. She was always crying but i stood my ground that i wanted to go. They had no choice but to allow me but on one condition that they wd go with me. My dear,appreciate your dad. You dont av be scared. He is only trying to protect you. Talk to him. He will see reasons with you. Thanks.