Good evening WIVES CONNECTION. it really feels like a family on this blog I must Confess. I just discovered something really surprising about my bf, OK he gave me his phone to use for now cos mine is bad. I didn’t mean to but somehow I stumbled on his Facebook messages and wat!!!! I couldn’t believe my eyes. He had sex chat with so many white girls, some girls re from African countries.
My bf travelled since last year August to Sweden, those Facebook messages I saw is dated Dec 2015 to June 22nd 2016. I was surprised wen I saw the messages cos I never suspect him, I mean I literally see him as a saint wen it comes to things about women. I messed up once when we quarreled last
two years and I had an affair with someone else but I told him about it and ended the affair then we made up but since then he has been having trust issues. He always thinks I have another guy but I don’t. OK I called him and asked he didn’t deny obviously cos I hv evidence(I screen shot the chats), he said he was just chatting cos he felt lonely and horny , he claims he can never cheat on me with another woman but I don’t believe him.
The way he insulted me wen I told him about my affair I can never forget and he was busy claiming saint. Now my question is, this bf of mine dat has been pretending to be a saint wen it comes to women, is he really a husband material cos we plan on getting married. Right now I’m not sure I can believe him anymore, I want to forget about him and move on. Is dat the right decision?
Hello Poster, is it that you messed up first, told him, then he started or he has always been like that but you are just finding out?
I messed up first but dat was last two years. I see him as a saint wen it comes to women dats y I was shocked wen I saw those msgs on Saturday. I don't know if he has been pretending but I just discovered this part of him now
Dear poster, don't you think you may have pushed him to start cheating? Men don't forgive infidelity, confessing to him was a mistake on your part. He won't forgive you.
1. Poster, are u looking for a saint to marry or a man that adores u?
2. Would u consider urself a saint?
Marriage is not the joining of saints but the coming together of 2 imperfect beings that want to make a future together and make God the center of their union.
I messed up first and was two yrs ago, I always see him as a saint wen it comes to issues about women. I was shocked wen I saw those Facebook msgs on Saturday, just last week Saturday. I don't know if he has been pretending all this while.
Such a great post you share with us,i am really happy to be here and glad to discover this awesome post. Thanks for the informative writing.
The both of you have a serious trust issue, that will not go away with marriage. And I don't advise you to get married till it is resolved. From experience it would be best if you two just went your separate ways.
I'm not looking for a saint but I never believed he can do something like dat. He said it's pay back nd watever decision I make is fine with him. He sounds so confident and not sorry like I was with him. I really don't like that
Thatz a red flag right there.that's how ignored whole I was dating and today my husband still sex chats anything in skirts while ckaiming" cn never chest on u" please is sextin anoda woman not cheating?? I hv sssssooooooooo many messages I hv lost count even with a married colleague of his! And u wanna knw d shocker. .. With my chief brides maid too. Lol. Abeg. I Don regret my life tire. He prefers to sex chat and wan off the hv real sex with me. It's been 3 years of pure emotional torture and regrets. I am seriously considering divorce cos it's been only twice he even made love to me this whole year but go check his fone even Jesus will be shocked! Devils. Poster carry leg run. If u like stay.
Hmm mm, don't u all think the girl should forgive the guy the way he forgave her when she messed up.
Forgive?? YES.
Go ahead with marriage plans?? This will require Poster to critically define what she wants in marriage… You said he is not sorry (though he said he is) – be prepared for many more surprises. The truth, however, is that marriage is a project with several surprises – pleasant & unpleasant!
The sex chat is not just a chat, he exchanged pics with a particular girl. She sent him pics of her on her underwear and he was begging to see her
Private part. He sent her a pic of him bare chested and also his private part. When I asked him he said it's not his, he claims he downloaded it from a porn site and sent it to her. I didn't see dat particular picture, but from the comments the girl made a know she saw it and he also asked the girl if she saw the pic. And above all this problems there is this issue of maturation, I ve been advising him to stop but he hasn't. He is giving me the impressio that he lacks self control. I'm not judging him here but there are some things we should be able to say no to, I'm I wrong?
The fact that he is not really sorry scares me. You need to hear him talk saying its not his fault and whatever decision I make is OK with him. I really don't like dat tone.
Honestly I'm not sure I want to go ahead with the marriage plans but I ve forgiven him. I don't like his confidence in all this, he keeps talking about how he forgave me when I messed up meaning he wants me to do same. He never really trusted me, I wonder if that trust will ever come from his side. As for my side, hmm mm the distrust has set in. Thanks to you all for ur reply, I really appreciate.
Wen eva u see red flags like dis run b4 u liv a life of regret dat will mess u up.if u end up to marry him, he will torment ur life wit ur infidelity nd dat will be an excuse for him to do anything he wants…yh
@M.O, really?, so men don't forgive infidelity? ok when they land in hell fire because of unforgiveness, maybe then they'll forgive, just that it will be too late.
Just had a chat with him this morning nd he claims he did all that to make me feel the pain he felt. He claims it's part of the reason he sent me his phone
Instead of buying a new phone. I don't know wat to believe, could he be lying?
please poster….don't go ahead with marriage or you will regret it
You are still here questioning his action , two wrong can not make a right. I have been married to a man who sex on the phone , what's up, chats you name it ten years later he slept with two sisters his phone is a no go area . He will never let me touch his phone because of what I will see . Trust is nothing in the marriage. I wish I had listened to my parents and friends who told me not to marry him. Today I am so ashamed of going out with him because I don't know who he is doing it with or who he has done it with my dear this is answer prayer. Run for your life. Can u imagine living with a man he is sexing on the phone and you are home . A word is enough for the wish.
Please leave him. He needs to work on himself, that masturbating bit is a big problem especially if you're aware of it and it's beginning to give you concerns. No one is a saint and most people have masturbate at one time or the other but where you significant other had to call you out on masturbation? I'm sorry but the "masturbator" is sick and needs help. Don't stress yourself with all this analyzing, just leave this man alone, I'm serious, you deserve so much better and you will get it. He lacks self control and what you've seen will only get worse if you proceed to marriage.
Women unlike most men have a tendency to be faithful in a relationship where they are in love and happy. The fact that you strayed some years back already indicates that there is something amiss in this relationship. Address the underlying issue that made you cheat in the first place. Good luck.