Good evening everyone. Compliment of the season. I need advice from married and matured people please.
I’m 20 something year old and have been with this guy for 6 years ( in fact, it’s the only relationship I have in). We have been engaged for 2 years, getting ready to get married by first week May 2015. The problem is that I’m frustrated and depressed about the whole thing. Why?
This guy is 32 years but he behaves like a child. Early in the relationship and till now, he made me chase away all my friends.
I stayed without friends but just him. I couldn’t go anywhere apart from school, work and church. Even at that, he will call me until my phone dies, he will question every move I make and why I don’t pick his call even if it’s 1 miss call. He doesn’t trust me too, when I’m answering a call around him, his attitude changes and he won’t talk to me until I give him all the attention and follow him around. If I’m chatting or replying sms, he will be looking into my phone and same his attitude changes. He goes through my emails, chats whenever I’m not looking.
He is so self centred that he wants everything to be about him. Every time we argue and quarrel, at first my family said I’m difficult to be with because this guy sounds so nice and caring. Until I stayed with my mum and she started seeing how depress I am and the constant argument.
I have lost
myself and identity because of him, my siblings and mum have sat him down and talked to him but he always see himself as the victim. The whole thing is tiring and draining.
The mistake I made was encouraged this since I met him instead of having his sorry ass. I’m sad because of the years I wasted. I thought he will change but it’s obvious that he wouldn’t change. My siblings and mum said they won’t let me go through the marriage, I don’t see myself coping in it. But I don’t know what to do. Call off the wedding or what?
I feel so choked, I only have peace of mind when we quarrel because only then I’m able to be myself. Talk to friends and be a live. I love this guy but right now love is not enough. I wasted years living and being loyal to him. I chased away all the wonderful men that came my way because of him.
Please advice me on what to do.
Thanks
I’m 20 something year old and have been with this guy for 6 years ( in fact, it’s the only relationship I have in). We have been engaged for 2 years, getting ready to get married by first week May 2015. The problem is that I’m frustrated and depressed about the whole thing. Why?
This guy is 32 years but he behaves like a child. Early in the relationship and till now, he made me chase away all my friends.
I stayed without friends but just him. I couldn’t go anywhere apart from school, work and church. Even at that, he will call me until my phone dies, he will question every move I make and why I don’t pick his call even if it’s 1 miss call. He doesn’t trust me too, when I’m answering a call around him, his attitude changes and he won’t talk to me until I give him all the attention and follow him around. If I’m chatting or replying sms, he will be looking into my phone and same his attitude changes. He goes through my emails, chats whenever I’m not looking.
He is so self centred that he wants everything to be about him. Every time we argue and quarrel, at first my family said I’m difficult to be with because this guy sounds so nice and caring. Until I stayed with my mum and she started seeing how depress I am and the constant argument.
I have lost
myself and identity because of him, my siblings and mum have sat him down and talked to him but he always see himself as the victim. The whole thing is tiring and draining.
The mistake I made was encouraged this since I met him instead of having his sorry ass. I’m sad because of the years I wasted. I thought he will change but it’s obvious that he wouldn’t change. My siblings and mum said they won’t let me go through the marriage, I don’t see myself coping in it. But I don’t know what to do. Call off the wedding or what?
I feel so choked, I only have peace of mind when we quarrel because only then I’m able to be myself. Talk to friends and be a live. I love this guy but right now love is not enough. I wasted years living and being loyal to him. I chased away all the wonderful men that came my way because of him.
Please advice me on what to do.
Thanks
Pls my Dear a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. D wedding is still 4 months from now if you can not cope pls pls pls take a bow while there is still time 4 U. Trust me his attitude will get worse.
You have said it all my dear sister.. Why are u scared of calling off the wedding nw u still have air to breath.. I feel all dis are warning signals from God… My dear run for ur dear life.. He is going to drive u crazy if u eventually get married. A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.. Call it off…
This relationhip is not healthy at all. Either treat if you can or saveb yourself while the sun shines. What a choking fiance? This can cause high blood pressure. Imagine not missing him and being happier and free during quarrels… No way, It seems you'd be happier without this guy, please choose wisely cos you may not have siblings and parents anymore after you get married to him. He is draining and sapping you of EVERYTHING, somehow overbearing, a bit clingy, maybe Domineering and, and, and, too controlling for a healthy union. What is his problem na? Insecurity? Watch carefully and pray o. Is this what you wished for? Can you live like this forever?
Break away from that person and any connections….it's not healthy
Could it be the love is too much it's scattering his brain for you? that still doesn't make it healthy. I think some men behave that way when in love but again, IT'S NOT HEALTHY AT ALL AT ALL. Only few woman can enjoy this type of relationship abeg.
Men and their behavour eeh,the thing tire me wella,my dear u better put ur gear in gear 5 and press down ur acceralator down to the end cos that guy is not going to change one bite rather he his going to be worst,just talking 4rm expirence.
when u marry him,get ready to quit ur job and become a house wife. He is possessive nd u r unhappy. Pls give urself brain and quit. I know its not easy quiting a relationship u have invested so much time,money etc in. I had a 6yr old situationship dat wasnt going anywhr,i quit and i met my husband d nxt month, within a year we had done intro,trad n white wedding. And i was 31! So dearie,let go nd be happy.
Press delete fast, his type can kill.
plssssssssssssssssssssss, leave him sharp sharp otherwise, you may die quick o and he will still marry another woman. even if he promise to change, he can never change o. that is who he is and he shud go to the village to look for a wife.
May is still far, i am sure you haven't distributed wedding invitations. So its not like you will face public ridicule. You better run for your life and sanity.
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Sweetheart ds is very easy.ds is God showing u who he really is.ur fiancee has a controlling spirit.very high spirit of jealousy nd trust issues.such people end up beating deir partner.accept what God is showing u and move on.his attitude cannot b managed.move on my sister nd ul b glad u did.
What are you still waiting for? drop his sorry arse and move on. you can't compare 6 years relationship to a lifetime of marriage.
Listen girl, if you don't have your peace then take a hike period. it ain't the end of the world.
1000 points. Don't endure your marriage, you are meant to enjoy it. Leave him.
This is not a good sign, obsessive men are hard to satisfy in marriage & dey can make life unbearable for you. Pls whatever u can not put up with in marriage don't take it in courtship, stand your ground and have your say on issues. Concerning d wedding, broken engagement is better than broken marriage or better still extend the date if asked why, give reason for your hubby-to-be behaviour.
Happiness is a choice!a friend of mine is late today because she chose to remain married to an insanely obsessive man.
Nobody gets points for holding on to unhappiness
So save yourself.
Choose wisely
Enough said!
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Enough has been said!!!!! If you love your self and want to achieve in life, not ending up a loner. FLEE NOW!!!!! he will reduce you to nothing after the marriage. Talking from experience my dear, be warned.
My dear u hve heard odas,leave or leave d rest of ur life in regret