Hello all
I’ve been married 5years now and I’m going crazy with BOREDOM. I have kids and an OKAY husband but I’m not getting the SPARK I envisioned or hoped for. I have endured and persevered hoping it will get better with time but it’s worse, it’s just like living with a Reverend father or a very elder brother with nothing in common. Its making me resentful, depressed and angry. I have decided that I am going to CHEAT on my husband next week. I don’t know if it will just be once or more but I really want to experience it. It’s not really about the SEX but the adventure, the thrill, the toasting and chasing game, the dates and the gifts, the trips and the fun, etc. I know as a woman it will be frowned upon and a lot of you will insult me but I still need to know…
Has anyone of you cheated and gotten away with it?
Is it always a bad thing?
I mean it is okay for a man to cheat right, but not for a woman
Is there really a curse tied to it?
If there is, can u site examples?
I think I am a bit smart and won’t get caught but I just want to know what y’all think
Help! I Have Decided That Going To Cheat
Hello Eya, kindly help my friend who wants to remain anonymous post this. I don advise I don tiya.
its a no no, if you are a christain. thats adultery. you can always talk about your feelngs with ur husband.
Why not divorce your hubby if you're no more happy in the marriage and then you can start dating instead of stooping low to cheat.
kai.. wetin person no go hear.. madam please are you seeking permission to cheat?. please go ahead my dear.. i wonder what kind of example you are laying down for your kids. for heavens sake you could be boring your husband too.. for christ sake do something to spice up your marriage.. buy sexy night gowns,try new dishes, surprise your hubby with little gifts,try new sex positions…have ur bath together always… tell him what you desire and see what happens next.
What advice should we give you. You are going to do it next week. We wish you luck.
Sigh!!! Madam I understand how you feel. I have been married less than 2 yrs no child though and the spark, romance etc left the marriage within 6 months and it wasnt for my lack of trying and I am still trying. However after fighting him, pleading with him, reasoning with him, getting people to talk to him I realised he wasnt going to change not because he doesnt want to but because he is stuck in his ways ( I married an older guy -7 years difference). Did the thought of cheating cross my mind? Yes!!! But the fear of God wont even let me do that so I decided to go to God in prayers sebi he has the heart of kings in his hands and I told him that when I discussed marriage with HIM this is not what I bargained for and I promise you I've seen changes, changes that shocked me. Please dont cheat because one day you would get caught. Think about what your children would grow up to learn about their mother. What kind of role model would you be for your daughter? If you heard your mother cheated on your father would you be happy? And then ok you go out on a couple of dates, you have sex, then what? Or have you forgotten that even boyfriends or lovers also break hearts? why would you want to put yourself through all of that? Have you thought about how your husband would feel? How would your family feel? What excuse would you give them? As far as I am concerned you are being childish, selfish and greedy and you do not fear God! Before you go ahead, ask yourself if your husband cheated on you, how would you feel???
@Anon 6:37, 10 gbosas for u and a 100 e-hugs.
wahala. madam i doubt cheating is the wise decision to take
Wow. I think its a great and smart idea 2 cheat on ur hubby bcos ur marriage is boring. Hw dare he give u a boring sex life? Hw dare he nt b a wife beater, child abuser, serial cheat or evn armed robber instead? At least den mayb u wld hv had d little thrill and adventure u envision. Eg; hiding d kids wen daddy is coming home, dreading his presence, fighting or being fought by his girls on d street, going 2 d hosp 4 treatments etc. I agree ur life is too boring. Pls do cheat and if possible com n gist us d tantalising details, afta whc u inform him dt u hv given ursef d spark he cnt giv u. Enjoy dear.
You said and I quote "I think I am a bit smart and won't get caught but I just want to know what y'all think"
What I think is that you are a very foolish woman, woe unto you for you have no insight, and you are heading for destruction, I don't insult people online, I am not a cyber bully, and I am not insulting you here, I am only telling you what you are, which is that you are stupid and very foolish
You have a very big challenge in your family which most married couples face, and instead of you to look for a away out, proabably seek advice here, but that is not the case, instead you. Asking stupid questions like:
Has anyone of you cheated and gotten away
with it?
Is it always a bad thing?
I mean it is okay for a man to cheat right, but
not for a woman
Is there really a curse tied to it?
If there is, can u site examples?
How does the answers to those question solve your problem or tackle your family challenge? So if they answer you "yes we have cheated and gotten away with it" then you will go ahead and cheat? how dumb and stupid, what guarantee do you have that in your own case you will not be caught? Oh! Sorry you said you are smart, well you are not smart, you are only a big mumu of the highest order, a 1st class mumu and an idiots, and you are deceiving your self.
If you want advice on predicament, then send another mail, and aunty Eya will post it here, and you will get one
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Alloy, you are a big fool, stupid, foolish idiot, useless, goat, cow, ram, nama, anuofia, onye nzuzu, anumaanu, oniranu oshi, oloribuku…to mention but a few. You are calling her names, everything you called her will be yours!
Mrs poster, if your marriage is boring revive it! You might be the boring one. Marriages can never be sweet at all times! Get that into your thick skull. Even khloe and lamar broke up, upon all thier sweet sweet love. Hey you better up your game go on a Vacation! How come Nigerian couples hardly go on vacays alone? Will you die if you take a week trip alone? You need to work on this thing, if you are soooo tired, divorce. Don't cheat.at all times, let your hands be clean so that almighty God can answer your prayers.
Cindy hi. I visited your blog but couldn't comment. You're doing a good job, though a video demonstration of how you applied the make up would help. Cheers.
It's a good thing I read this today, cos I'm in d same dilemma. The rise of social media, bbm, Facebook n d likes makes cheating so easy n looks like fun, when a complete stranger adores you from afar and just makes you wish for a slice of that forbidden apple.
Alloy I think you are thus angry and insulting because she is a woman. If it was a guy, u would be more lenient. I was actually looking forward to ur comments and that of Johnson but boy was I discouraged!!! Cheating might not be d way out but it's not new, she won't be the first or the last to cheat, her coming here means she us afraid and probably doubting herself. Don't judge, u never even marry sef, so don't be so sure u'll be perfect n happy forever.
We all have cheated one way or another. The Bible says if we as much as look at someone with lust, we commit adultery. We watch porns, love movies, read steaming live stories that stirs us sexually, we think of Ex, we wish we married or loved someone etc. No one is perfect
100 likes for ur comment. By the time you get caught, you will realise that you were never smart. If you are smart, then channel ur smartness into something positive to bring about change in ur marriage. Your adventure will only ruin that which you have. Don't be selfish, think about your kids.
If i were you I'd sit and figure out how I can bring the spark back to my marriage. Have you forgotten that it takes two? If your husband isn't making an effort, why don't you? Cheating only complicates things more believe me and it is something you'll regret.
As someone rightly said, you are being childish. I know at times one craves attention, you want to feek loved but woman be happy you have kids who can give you love. As for your marriage make it not 'boring'. Suggest adventurous stuffs for just you and your husband, remind yourself why you feel in love with him in the first place, remember the vow you made to God. Please be a virtuos woman and pray to God for wisdom to make your marriage work.
Gdluck ma!
Excuse my typos
@anonymous 9:13pm I would like to say this:
1). She did not ask for ur advice, she had already made up her mind on what she want, and I quote her " I have decided that I am going to CHEAT on my husband next week. I don't know if it will just be once or more but I really want to experience it. It's not really about the SEX but the adventure, the thrill, the toasting and chasing game, the dates and the gifts, the trips and the fun, etc." so basically, she did not come here for advice on the challenge facing her marriage so ur advice is not necessary, bcos she already decided
2). She already knew dat cheating on her husband is bad, but she still decided to go ahead wit d cheating game next week, and I quote her "I know as a woman it will be frowned upon and a lot of you will insult me but I still need to know…" so from d fact dat she knew she will be insulted, is a pointer dat she knew its bad, else who will be planning to do a good tin and people wil insult d person? So despite she knew its bad, her decision was still to go ahead next week, isn't dat stupidity? Isn't dat foolishness?
Proverbs 22:3 says: "shrewd is d one dat has seen evil or calamity, and proceed to conceal himself".
From d bible verse if a person knows sometin is bad, evil and wil cause him calamity, and did not conceal himself, or deviate from dat tin, dat means d person is not shrewd, in essence d person is foolish
Wen u av other options to solve a problem, and u decide to ignore dose options and choose a dangerous one, dat can destroy ur family, ur marriage, isn't dat foolishness and stupidity? So I am not insulting her I am only saying wat she is, based on her decision
3). Dat I called her mumu, foolish and stupid, is sometin she already anticipated, she has no problem wit dat, and I quote her "a lot of u will insult me but I still need to know…" so why are u taking paracetamol for another persons headache?
4). The reason she came here was for d wrong reasons, look at her question:
4a). Has anyone of u cheated and gotten away
with it? So if people say yes so she will go ahead with it abi? Because they got away with theirs, how can one tink like dat if d is not foolish?
4b). Is it always a bad tin? So if some persons say its not always bad she will go ahead with her decision abi?
4c). Is there really a curse tied to it? So if there is no curse tied to it she will go ahead abi?
4d). If there is, can u site examples? So if there are no examples she will go ahead abi?
Look at the two last question sensitively, she has come here to indirectly make mockery of any advice we are going to give her, to prove to us dat we are wrong, because yes, there is no curse tied to cheating, we can't give example of any, so she will be free to go ahead and our advice will not hold water, since we can't give example, listen to her "I tink I am a bit smart and won't get caught but I just want to know what y'all tink" meaning advice here doesn't count, becos she believe she can't be caught, because she is smart, dat she is only here not for advice but to know what we tink, and so I tink she is stupid and foolish, bcos she wants to know what I tink, and dat's wat I tink, "whatever an and elderly or wise person sees seating down, a child or foolish person will never see even while standing"
Anyway tanks for all d insults directed at me, I really appreciate, God bless u
@anonymous 10:08pm I am not saying all I said bcos she is a woman, if a man is her position I will say d same tin, I am not selective of whom I tell d truth, and yes I am not married, and I am not perfect and can't have a perfect marriage, nobody can, I know marriage has countless number of challenges, but I am only believing God to help me bcos he said in proverb 3:5-7
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Poster after you cheat, it won't fix the problems you have in your marriage. I can assure you that you will feel worse than you feel now. After you cheat with one man, the man might soon get 'boring' for you or you might get 'boring' to him. How many more men will you try before you meet the one that will give you the excitement and adventure you are after? 5, 10 or 20 men?
Ask ladies that have been married for under 3yrs and they'll tell you they experienced the same, courtship and marriage is not the same thing. I'm not saying being married is meant to be boring but you have the power to bring the excitement you desire into your marriage.
You husband being 7yrs older has nothing to do with this, age is just a number. You dated your husband before you married him didn't you? Didn't you spot that all these lost things you are looking didn't exist during your coutship days? If I were you I won't cheat, have a heart to heart conversation with him and express how you feel. Then try to fix your marriage.
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Well said, a lot of people think that commiting the actual act makes one a sinner. Lust in itself is one of the seven deadly sins, so just desiring someone itself is a sin. No one is perfect so stop all the holier than thou insults. As for the woman who wants to cheat, since you say you are smart no need to ask for advice. Do as your mind says and face any consequences. As an adult, people can only advise u, the final decision is yours to take. U have already made yours and that is to cheat on your husband. I wish you well in your endeavours. Gbam!
You have made up your mind to cheat and you are asking for a second opinion? And whatever we say will make you change your mind? When you can not listen to your friend and the true advice she is giving you.
Anyway you can go ahead and cheat because you can not afford to eat only buns, it is hard so you need to also eat puff puff some days to make your life better.
Remember you don't need to use condoms cos you want to get the real experience.
Annoying reply to a very stupid post. Rubbish
I agree with you alloy. A wise woman builds her home but a foolish one scatters it. No comment for you poster.
If your hubby is OKAY – talk to him about how you feel and both of you would work out how to bring the spark back to your bedroom. I tell you, you might be pleasantly surprised how things could turn around.
CHEAT? You would live to regret it… Don’t let one small boy use you play football and turn to disgrace you. The bible says ‘stolen waters are sweet… but all her guests end up in hell.
And to respond to one of your queries – it is NOT okay for a man to cheat. The bible says in Ps 11:5 (MSG) …if anyone cheats, God’s outraged.
I am the poster, I'm sorry for springing this on u nice pple, it was a decision made at d spur of the moment, aftermath of depression and weariness. Of cos I'm not gonna cheat intentionally(except maybe in my mind, ) Johnson thanks a million for the matured advice, it came across like a dad or pastor to his daughter. @ Alloy, I agree wit u that it sounds foolish if one looks at it sensitively. The statements were born out of anger, just as one can say "i'll kill you today" when quarreling. I appreciate the advice and believe me I don try tiya. I grew up reading mills and boons so had a lot of romantic ideas for my marriage, but it's very discouraging wen it's one sided or seen as a chore or burden. Put flowers on d bed, it's dirt, suggest trips, it's waste of money, night out alone, tired from work, hang out together, church programme, beach? 30mins and we r out. New sex styles : chore, candlelight dinner: dozing off at d table, love talks n cuddles: baby's time wit daddy, What else?. I've accepted fate, find joy in d kids and friends and work and pray God adds spark again. Thx again everyone, I'm going to kill my friend for sending this to Eya.
Alloy, u are a sensible and decent guy. Don't mind these Olofofo who hide under the guise of anonymous to talk rubbish. I totally agree with all u have said. I happen to have considered cheating on my hubby too and with all u've said, I now know it's not a good idea.
Yes marriage is not easy and no one is perfect but we should all learn to strive towards perfection. Dat way, we are better equipped to handle certain issues in a better and more Christian way. Thank you so much alloy and may God richly bless u.
Alloy, u are a sensible and decent guy. Don't mind these Olofofo who hide under the guise of anonymous to talk rubbish. I totally agree with all u have said. I happen to have considered cheating on my hubby too and with all u've said, I now know it's not a good idea.
Yes marriage is not easy and no one is perfect but we should all learn to strive towards perfection. Dat way, we are better equipped to handle certain issues in a better and more Christian way. Thank you so much alloy and may God richly bless u.
It's a good thing u have decided to take good advice given. Ur case is not lost afterall. Or should I say our case. Lol. So many women find themselves in this same situation but we can't kill ourselves now, can we? Thank God u have kids to bring u excitement and ur job to keep u occupied. Some women don't have them. So my dear, count ur blessings and name them one by one. Don't loose hope.
I feel you babes, we are in the same shoes. I have actually taken mine to another level, told a lovely story to hubby, left my abode in Abuja flew into Lagos met my ex we drove round town, I laughed so hard and had so much fun laughing, when we got to the hotel room I could not. I really wanted to but I could not get off the lift, talk more of getting to the room. I went down took a taxi to the airport and came home. Could not get myself to cheat, sex is still as boring as ever at home but cheating is the last thing on my mind, but it pushed me into MASTURBATION! Its anor kind of cheating but I had to or loose my mind. I pray I stop soon, am not proud of myself but its allows me let off heat. My dear I feel u.
I'm thinking of buying sex toys. Guess it's also a form of adultery too. Wahala wa oo
I'm thinking of buying sex toys. Guess it's also a form of adultery too. Wahala wa oo
madam u shuld ask God to 4gv u of ur wickedness. U are wicked!
God 4bid evil.
Wow Anon 9:06 who is wicked? People come here for constructive and intelligent discussion. Get off your high horse and say something meaningful. Who are you to say who is wicked and who is not.
Been married for four years. Have 2 boiz for my husband who is d only son. He has told me countless times dt I am d best wife he has seen since he was growing up n evn among his friends wives cos I always go d xtra mile to please my husband.
Now this same man beats me when I find out his numerous affairs. I hv been hospitalized n sedated more dan once just so I can get over the trauma.
When I travel, he brings dem to my home. I see used condoms in places he forgot to clear up n also see oda babes belongings in my home. This is a man I have never said no to and married me as a virgin.
For the sake of my children I am still enduring and overlooking stuff but like this poster, I decided to cheat too. I have a friend who i talk to and tell everything. He is d bomb. Only thing stopping us is we live in different cities. Now I am happy again n nt always sobbing. People around me have noticed the difference. As a matter of fact, I can't wait for an opportunity to have sex with dis dude. You guys might be all holy n sanctimonious but I don't give a damn. Make i no go die cos of one man. Even in pregnancy he will beat me n i would be bleeding. She is asking for advice.
Well, here is mine, do what makes u happy. Life is too short to be taken 4 granted.
@Anon 9:57am – yours is equally a sad story… Unfortunately you allowed your husband's wrong to push you into adultery. Two wrongs – complete it yourself!
In all this, be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap (Gal 6:7). The God news is that He is ever willing to turn things around for our good if we surrender to Him and take a deliberate step never to go back to our vomit as only fools do this (Prov 26:11)…
Do U cheat on urs lol
You fancy some forbidden fruit lol
U wil be a fool if u do dat have sex with d dude to make u happy. Lol. Sry o. U kept urself as a virgin til u got married just becus he cheatd on u u want to cheat 2. Pele. U dnt knw d devil is out there to destry marriages. U must repent and pray seriously. @ johnson God bles
bia. I think u shuld re read d posters write up b4 u open wide ur mouth to talk. What advce did u gv?
Lol. What happend to ur hubby. Sex toys??. Na wa o african women don turn sumthing else. Tufiakwa!
When I got married sex was good cos vjay was tight (married as a virgin) but now after three kids its not as good. I haven't had an orgasm since the first so I jokingly told hubby I wanted a sex toy, bigger than his. Mehn, see tied tongue!!! He just said eh and hasn't said anything else about it. I just laughed inside. But it's not a bad idea to me o. But Christian wise I think it's bad sha. Still thinking…..
poster in ur case ur husband is nt a cheat he's just been dull in bed…y not take him out on a date and pour out ur heart on him…u neva can tell how he will change for d beta and even regret not satisfying u. women are d bedrocks of every home,lets nt loose our grip by going into adultery.