Before I narrate my plight please I want reasonable responses and no insults.thanks.
I am a 26 year old lady, I met this guy in 2010 in my final year and we dated for 18 mths then I got pregnant for him toward the end of my nysc. it was really tough cos my then he was just bout going for his nysc. we did a hushed introduction 2 months before i gave birth and i was shuffling between my parents house and his mums house. cos i was spending a lot of time with my family outside lagos with the baby , issues started coming up with him and his mom so i had to move to his mums house in lagos. cause of the baby nd no one to really help out it wasnt easy getting a job.Last year the issues with his mum was plenty so we had to move outside of lagos to stay on our own.
Now the problem is everytime i bring up the issue of marriage he is always saying he isnt ready cos he hasnt got a job yet,i dont av one too buh i do makeup and learning beads.i am so frustrated and i told him see if a job isnt coming learn smtin too, the look on his face was pure hatred as if i sed smtin bad. my kid is 2year plus now nd i just found out am pregnant again. i want to get married before having another baby but hea insisting i keep d baby nd its not like we are
exactly “okay” to cater for another baby now. i m trying to get a job and with the pregnancy i dont c that working out well.i just think he wants to tie me down with 2 kida and turn me into iyawo free.meanwhile my mum has bin disturbing his fam for d wedding buh they just keep avoiding the issue. im really @ loss of what to do.
I am a 26 year old lady, I met this guy in 2010 in my final year and we dated for 18 mths then I got pregnant for him toward the end of my nysc. it was really tough cos my then he was just bout going for his nysc. we did a hushed introduction 2 months before i gave birth and i was shuffling between my parents house and his mums house. cos i was spending a lot of time with my family outside lagos with the baby , issues started coming up with him and his mom so i had to move to his mums house in lagos. cause of the baby nd no one to really help out it wasnt easy getting a job.Last year the issues with his mum was plenty so we had to move outside of lagos to stay on our own.
Now the problem is everytime i bring up the issue of marriage he is always saying he isnt ready cos he hasnt got a job yet,i dont av one too buh i do makeup and learning beads.i am so frustrated and i told him see if a job isnt coming learn smtin too, the look on his face was pure hatred as if i sed smtin bad. my kid is 2year plus now nd i just found out am pregnant again. i want to get married before having another baby but hea insisting i keep d baby nd its not like we are
exactly “okay” to cater for another baby now. i m trying to get a job and with the pregnancy i dont c that working out well.i just think he wants to tie me down with 2 kida and turn me into iyawo free.meanwhile my mum has bin disturbing his fam for d wedding buh they just keep avoiding the issue. im really @ loss of what to do.
I guess this is one mistake you have to cope with, you are already in it, the truth is, this is not the right time for this second pregnancy, but what will you do ? All the best sister!
Hmmm….I dunno what 2 say sister cos d mistake has already bin done and I won't advice u 2 terminate d pregnancy. First mistakes r meant 2 teach a lesson and if repeated its no longer a mistake. Get sometin 2 do,jus think of what 2 do. May God help u.
You both don't have a job, things are not ok between you both and to add salt to injury, he is not yet married to you and you got pregnant again. Smh
You are not a baby Na, why would you allow yourself to get pregnant again? You are not yet married to him, so its wrong to even be living with him in the first place, even if you have a baby for him, why wouldn't he turn you down anytime you bring marriage up, when you are already living with him, you are already and indirect house wife Na, and your respect and pride as a woman has been dealt a big blow.
Anyway the mistakes has already been made by getting pregnant again, making it a second mistake, with the first pregnancy the 1st mistake, aborting that baby will be a third mistakes, I don't subscribe to abortion, so please keep that innocent baby, and face your mistake bravely, by correcting it not to get a third one, and try to move out of his house after birth because you are not his wife, and its wrong living with him, then we will see what happens from there.
God bless you
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Only terminate the pregnancy if you know you will not regret. if you will regret it. don't do it. i don't think he has any plans to marry you.
Please @sisi are you sisi eko? Pls holla back. Thanks
@poster I honestly think you should hold on a bit for him to get a job, before marital rites. I undestand how hard it must be for u now. Again you should have taken in again considering your financial status. All the same be strong
My dear, I am telling you from experience, please terminate that pregnancy. If he wants to marry you, let him do the needful. Please catering for one child is already an issue, talk more of two. Please borrow your self brain.
Better to be a single mother of one than two,except you are ready for the suffering alone in future
Honestly what do you want us to say? Terminate the pregnancy? He'll no! The mistake have been made and you have to face whatever comes out of it. I just pray everything falls into place for you very soon.
My dear 2nd time?? Y?? U purposely got pregnant.. carry ur cross. No job no marriage and u r pregnant again? Wt were ur plans? U rnt being fair to him too he obviously wasn't ready.. work extra hard, Dts d only advice I hv 4 u.. Goodluck
Don't abort, you will probably regret it and since he wants it, if u abort, that's his perfect excuse for not marrying you
As it is, you have the shorter end of the bargaining stick so you cannot afford to be frustrated
You have to be calm and a little bit calculating
Assess the situation very well, do you think it's really because of the no job situation that he is not marrying. Use your brain well to assess, will he marry you if he gets a job or he will continue iyawo free?
Do you have a church, maybe a pastor that can advice him to do the needful?
If I were you, I wouldn't offer to pay for the wedding myself, there is no dignity in that
If you believe in prayers, commit the pregnancy into God's hands and divine provisions will be made to cater for the child
Make yourself valuable, not arrogant or full of yourself but physically and mentally desirable.
Next time you ask him about the wedding and he comes up with the usual excuses, don't beg or get frustrated, just say okay and go about your activities in the house whistling and happily.
Be prepared that it may not work out, his mind might be completely made up not to marry you
If that's the case, no worries …. That means there's another path God wants for you.
Don't abort, you will probably regret it and since he wants it, if u abort, that's his perfect excuse for not marrying you
As it is, you have the shorter end of the bargaining stick so you cannot afford to be frustrated
You have to be calm and a little bit calculating
Assess the situation very well, do you think it's really because of the no job situation that he is not marrying. Use your brain well to assess, will he marry you if he gets a job or he will continue iyawo free?
Do you have a church, maybe a pastor that can advice him to do the needful?
If I were you, I wouldn't offer to pay for the wedding myself, there is no dignity in that
If you believe in prayers, commit the pregnancy into God's hands and divine provisions will be made to cater for the child
Make yourself valuable, not arrogant or full of yourself but physically and mentally desirable.
Next time you ask him about the wedding and he comes up with the usual excuses, don't beg or get frustrated, just say okay and go about your activities in the house whistling and happily.
Be prepared that it may not work out, his mind might be completely made up not to marry you
If that's the case, no worries …. That means there's another path God wants for you.
Don't abort, you will probably regret it and since he wants it, if u abort, that's his perfect excuse for not marrying you
As it is, you have the shorter end of the bargaining stick so you cannot afford to be frustrated
You have to be calm and a little bit calculating
Assess the situation very well, do you think it's really because of the no job situation that he is not marrying. Use your brain well to assess, will he marry you if he gets a job or he will continue iyawo free?
Do you have a church, maybe a pastor that can advice him to do the needful?
If I were you, I wouldn't offer to pay for the wedding myself, there is no dignity in that
If you believe in prayers, commit the pregnancy into God's hands and divine provisions will be made to cater for the child
Make yourself valuable, not arrogant or full of yourself but physically and mentally desirable.
Next time you ask him about the wedding and he comes up with the usual excuses, don't beg or get frustrated, just say okay and go about your activities in the house whistling and happily.
Be prepared that it may not work out, his mind might be completely made up not to marry you
If that's the case, no worries …. That means there's another path God wants for you.
thanks guys. appreciate all comments
poster.
Awwwwwn… God will intervene (amen)…
Terminating that pregnancy terminates your chances of marriage with him. Trust me, you will never hear the last of it.
Get a consistent income for yourself and do not let it happen again until you are sure he has a steady income and you are married.
Power to your elbows!
…Beautiful Contribution…
my dear i don't think it wise to have an abortion.the mistake has been made you have to fix it so get yourself together,move back to your parents house and work very hard for your kids and pray for the best because this man does not have any plans for you at least not yet…God see you through…