AnonymousOctober1, 2013 at 9:26 PM
Forgive me for posting under someone else’s problem. I really do not know how to post on WC directly. I have a 2yr old daughter,& married to someone else& not my baby daddy. We’ve been married for 8monthss now & I’m pregnant with his child,due November.
I knew him since my daughter was 2months oldd & he wass totally ok with me & her. He’s been so supportive until now that my daughter moved in with us from my mum’s,he complains at anything my child does,& even scolds me in front of friends for spoiling her.
I beat this 2yrs old even though
I know itss wrong just to please him. Plus I’m pregnant & my daughter needs me more than before. Meanwhile,his 7yrs old niece lives with us ass our child also & l love her like my own. My husband doesn’t see any mistake in the 7yrs oldd because her mum is late so we have to let her rot. This girl beats my Child & dare not mention. I need help plss as this gives me a lot of concerns. Thanks much.
Have you discussed all these with him yet? If not pls do and take it from there. After your discussion, if hes still not receptive to her, i will suggest you take her back to your mom rather than bringing her up in such environment. Give her good education, provide for her,visit often and she can come visit on holiday. Dont let this weigh you down cos of ur condition pls
Plsss take ur 2 year old back to ur mum,so she won't b caught in d middle,4 goodness sake!she's still a baby nd doesn't nid all dis negative vibe @ all,u will soon put to bed nd u will barely ve her tym,I was in dat postion b4 nd its wasn't funny @ all,pls nd pls take her back 2 ur mum,den take it 2 God in prayer b4 spilling ur mind 2 ur hubby in a diplomatic nd calm way.take care nd may u deliver Safely in Jesus name.Amen.
Beating her up is not d solution, u can use ur mouth to scold her, and sternly warn ur niece not to beat her again, if she does anything she should tell u instead. And tell ur hubby how u feel! After all he knew u had a child before he married u, so what wiv d sudden change in attitude towards d girl. And then again u may have spoilt the girl and just can't stand ur hubby scolding her. It happens b/w biological parents of a child sometimes u hear d father complianing that d mother has over pamperd d kids, sometimes u hear d wife quarreling wen d man scolds d child. So don't let his attitude bother u much, and remember u r expecting a baby.
Some men who are hostile towards a wife's daughter usually end up being abusive to the daughter. Protect your daughter, stop beating your daughter just to please your husband. What kind of mother do you want her to think you are? She might be only a toddler now but if you continue like this, she will get wise enough to understand she is being punished to please step father and then she'll hate you for it. Do you want that? Please and please on no account should your husband lay a finger on your daughter,never! You have to let him know that you will not stand any hostility towards your 2yr old. If you don't, your daughter will grow up with self esteem and self worth issues. Do you want that? Don't be afraid of losing this husband. If you lose him for protecting your daughter then he was mistake from the begining. You owe you child much more!
Madam stop beating your child. Because whatever you do to your child they will copy and do. see the 7yr old has already started beating her. Warn his niece never to touch ur baby again. Please this is ur child dont let them maltreat her right in front of you. And dont be afraid to disipline his niece as well if she misbehaves. He knew you had a child before he married you. Or did he expect you would leave your child with your mother forever?
My dear, I am sorry for what I am about to say, don't for the sake of pleasing ur grown husband spoil the future of ur child. Don't torment that child. Beat her only at ur conviction not to please others. Talk to your husband about how you feel, if it doesn't change then find a way for your daughter to be happy.
You are alive and your child will be maltreated? By you? Oh no, that cannot be. I can't tell you to make a choice but I can tell you to think very well on your actions pertaining to this child. Haba.
Mrs A
Never,never trade the love of your child for that of your husband!big mistake bcus the love of children is absolutely more genuine than that of any husband.
Y
You have to do what's best for your child please. It usually is difficult for some men to take on kids that aren't theirs, every litt thing the child does might get them irritated. That's where you come in, your duty is to protect your child no matter who or what is against her. Please don't manhandle your child to please anybody..you are the only one that can protect your child cos this child trusts and looks up to you for comfort and protection. Sit your husband down and tell him how you feel and also let him know you will go to the end of the earth for your child..remember if you treat your child badly, others will follow suit. You have to lead by example. Discipline your child when situation calls for it and not to please any human being not even your hubby..
are you for real you beat a 2 year old girl just to please your husband?? waohhh its people like you that stand nd watch while step fathers abuse your kids just cos you want to please him and bear MRS..
You cant stand your ground and fight for your kid? you are even here asking for what to do really??
Poster, poster, poster, how many times did I call you? You have to put your feet down. For heaven sake you are the woman of the house and all of you are maltreating your own child tufia. Please don't sacrifice the little girl to keep your husband and his family happy. If you are to scared of taking a stand, send her to her father, it will be better for her psychic if she is maltreated by her step mother than her own mother. Your husband's niece is receiving more protection from late mother than ur daughter is receiving from you. By the time she is older you people will turn her to a slave. I wonder how you feel typing that you beat her to placate your husband and his niece copies you and do her own beating. Poor baby. Better seat your husband down, tell him he knew you have a baby before he married you and if he loves you, he should threat your daughter as his. Than for the niece if she lay hands on your baby scold her.
How come you didn't sort this out before the marriage? I mean whether your child will live with you or not. You should have gotten him used to being around yoour daughter from the get go and not surprise him now. Anyway, it has happened. Try and talk to him and find out what exactly is the problem. Many men don't want to take care of another mans child because they might grow up and decide they want their real father. And then where does that leave him? Also, when he's older and dies, does he leave his property for another mans child? He would want to chase the 'outsider' out before it's too late. As for his neice, don't say because her mother is late that you alow her to mess up. Stop her from beating your daughter. You MUST be on your daughter's side, it's very important for her development (self esteem, perception etc.). It's bad enough that your husband doesn't like her, don't make things worse by joining in the resentment. Hope everything works out.
Listen woman! Your daughter's happiness comes first before yours!
Either get out of that marriage or return her back to your mother!
It is quite clear he does not love her, and am surprised a man is displaying this kind of hatred, when it is women that are often accused to be wicked step-mothers.
They beat your 2 years old child and you dare not complain? Don't let that child grow up to hate you in the future, when it is your right to protect her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Time is needed for you all to blend in as 1… For now all seems jagged and loosed!
You have a lot to do in terms of installing cohesion. Do not be judgmental, do not take sides.
Ur hubby is growing through a phase and not everyman is good at handling other pples kids, understand this most importantly.
Lastly, taming the 7year old starts from absolutely caring for her! Draw her closer, even more closer until she's too close that ur hubby begins to see a rare gem in you, only 5 percent of women can do this to other pples kids! This singular act will touch him.
Nuff'Said!
how long did you date, i mean really date this guy before you married him? Your husband is a big time asshole. You must not let anyone beat your child. You need to be an advocate for that child and not subject her to any type of abuse. You are at a point now where you have to choose, your husband or your child. Who is more important to you? Who's feelings and well being matter the most to you?
My dear pls be very diplomatic oo, wen ur husband is nt around be extra orderly nice 2 ur daughter or return her back 2 ur mother but may sure u go down every wk 2 be check her up
I think u need to sit him down and tell him exactly how u feel… Trust me,he might not know he is doing all these things u stated here…Try to calmly talk to him about it..*cheers*
wow! u need to let him know how u feel about this, u guys need to communicate, u dnt have to hurt ur child becos of ur husband omg!!! she is just 2 and all this hating going on that's too sad. As for the 7 yr old girl the next time she lays a finger on ur daughter pls give her the beating of her life and if Ur husband complains pls stand ur ground do not do anything to pls him oooo!! at the expense of your child. dnt let that girl grow to dislike u because if this should continue there is going to be a lot of hating from ur child towards you.
wow! u need to let him know how u feel about this, u guys need to communicate, u dnt have to hurt ur child becos of ur husband omg!!! she is just 2 and all this hating going on that's too sad. As for the 7 yr old girl the next time she lays a finger on ur daughter pls give her the beating of her life and if Ur husband complains pls stand ur ground do not do anything to pls him oooo!! at the expense of your child. dnt let that girl grow to dislike u because if this should continue there is going to be a lot of hating from ur child towards you.
Thank you all for these educative comments,I really appreaciate. God bless you loads. #hugs#
Inferioritu complex dey worry u.na so abuse dey start.displeasing ur daughter just t pls one yeye man,d most painfl is d silly 7yr old girl.i cnt imagine some1 beatin my daughter.continue t joepardize d innocent girl s future till its too late.u think he is doing u a favour by marry a single mum.
Take d little girl bck t ur mum n steal d yeye man s money and send t ur mum daily fr her upkeep.
nonsense and ingredient
*inferiority*
@Poster.it doesnt stop frm thnking us.jst apply d advise pls cos ds ur post is so annoying
Nife has said it all, send her back and enjoy your marriage and don't sacrifice her on the altar of your marriage, remember you did not give her the opportunity of living under bothparents, let her be spared the trauma of step father abuse pls.
poster hear yourself…… you beat your 2yr old to pls a man….SHAME TO YOU for the abuse you are subjecting the innocent child to. How could you just be so heartless that you who would have been her shield is now a weapon against her, how dare you took her from her Grandma when u knew deep down that u don't love her and perhaps she is a bitter reminder of your past. What advice do you want? Kneel down and ask God to forgive you.
Pls what can a 2yr old do dat u have 2beat her.did she insult u or steal cos I can't imagine beating a 2yrs old.n I have no world 4 dat ur hubby cos I nor wan insult person dis morning.dammmmm I just dey vex 4 dis woman.
Rose
As a matter of fact,very annoying! Imagine beating ur baby to please ur husband? This man is wicked. You better take ur stand after all u are d woman of the house. When ur child should even have more rights than d so called niece. Please and please talk to ur husband. Kai women don suffer sha all in the name of marriage!
Thank you. This is the final word.
Mrs A
I feel for this ur 2yr old baby seriously! Being maltreated by her own mothers just bc she wanna please an insensitive man.. All ds kid needs is love love love. Sit him down and talk senses into his head, he might not know until u tell him.#peace#
U mean u do flog an innocent 2yr old! Jst to please ur husband? What does she know? That's soo unfair o haba! Am so annoyed rite now, u jst spoiled my mood
You have said thank you for the comments made so far but honestly hope you will make good use of them.
It will only take the grace of God for me to forgive my father for being there and watching his wife maltreat me without saying or doing anything to defend me.
Please take your daughter back to your mother if you can not protect her. If not depending on who she turns out to be in future, you may not have a relationship with her.
Then you will come back here and tell us how wicked and unforgiving your daughter is.
Please I hope you do the right thing
Ur 2yrs old is still a baby n need love,love,love.if ur husband says he loves u,then that love shld be extended to ur daughter too.if he can't tolerate her then its a mistake marryin him in d first place.pls warn his niece to stop beatin ur daughter n instead she shld report to u.sit ur husband down n talk to him calmly.
The fact dat u beat ur little girl 2 pacify ur husband shows he has psychological control of u. He feels he did u a favour by marrying u. And as a single mum, u bought into his way of thinking. Trying 2 bring up dis issue wit him might create problems u didnt envisage. Since ur due date is close, i suggest u concentrate on having ur baby. Maybe d birth of ur baby might make ur husband see ur daughter in a different light. A new baby brings dis sort of calmness & joy into d home but if after 3-4mths of giving birth & he still cant stand ur daughter then pls take her back 2 ur mum but b4 u do dat, let him know why u r sending her back.
Meanwhile, protect ur daughter from any form of abuse. If u dont stand up 4 her who will?
Please tell me why she should return her child to her mom when she is capable of taking care of her herself .. A child's place is always with his mother
So what happens when her mom is no longer here?? A child needs stability to become a productive member of the society. Besides, her mother is well and alive and should not shift her responsibility to an old woman just cos she wants to please a man.
Wats this drivel? So it's always about the woman sacrificing and looking for ways to please the man? And how do you get this your self made statistics?
Don't take her back to your mother. No one can look after your child like you. Don't make her feel "mummy doesn't want me anymore" She is your responsibity, she's a girl and the world is damn tooo evil, she has to be with you so you can keep your eyes on her. If you her mum are already beating her to please a man, how much neglet will she suffer when she's is in the midst of other family members away from u?
I agree with both of you because the monster can put his big prick in the child's toto aka pussy
I agree with both of you because the monster can put his big prick in the child's toto aka pussy
You are a disgrace, a sorry excuse for a mother, you choose to maltreat your child because of a man, a man who will most likely throw you out by the looks of things. You want the child to be emotionally scarred because of you. You seat down there and let them abuse and hurt your child. Shame on you. May God forgive you.
I am so ANGRYYYYYYYYY, as i read.
Poster! Poster! POSTER!!
What does a 2 years old know????
What does a 2 years old know???? You beat an innocent child to please a man!
Wait! You would give birth to his own child in November? Would he beat the child as he does yours?
As for that niece, i would beat the living daylights out of her if she touches my child!
Please keep your child out of their reach! If your mum is still hale and hearty, take her there, and be visiting as often as you can, bringing her over for holidays to bond with her other siblings and be pampering her with your love and whatever you can get from the man!
When she is much older bring her back to your matrimonial home and watch over her diligently.
Thank u my dear she's even asking Mumu questions here. Na wa 4 some women sha
spare that innocent baby , send her back except you are ready to standup for her, from the look of things, she is not wanted there BUT know this, she maygrow up resenting you 2. if you choose to keep her, protect her against every form of abuse including sexual abuse if she will growup there, ( step fathers that exhibit early resentments later usually abuse their step daughters when they feel they are of age).
It wasn't easy 4 me,cos I was in dat kind of situation nd I was d child involved,so believe me I no wat I'm saying
Short of words my dear,just take it easy okay,don't stress ur self much cos God knows the best, u don't need stress,don't think much to aviod HBP is not good for ur condition right now. Anyway for ur problem my dear,do take care of ur kid nd that of ur hubbies niece,don't allow any one to maltreate ur child pls pls and pls,when the child does something bad, beat her nd make her know why u beat her nd not cos u want to pls someone and like someone had advice,when u want to send her to ur mum make sure u tell ur huzbnd why u are sendn her out. May God give u the strenght to talk to him cos some men are worst wen u try to solve problem with them. Gud luck.
SHAME on you. Did u actually carry this child for nine months and go through the pain of labour???
Unbelievable.
Did d child beg to be born???
Do not send her bck to ur mum, jst LOVE her and shield her. Before u know it she wld be in second schl nd can go to boarding she, and make sure her holiday's are blissful.
Then its university.
Pls love her, dnt turn ur back on this innocent child, she needs u more than ever and her place is with u.
She is ur blood.
I beg u.
Better erase all d negative memories u ve given this poor child now that she is still young enough to forget
Dear poster. Pls dnt beat ur baby bc u want to pls ur hubby. Shw dat baby extra luv. Also talk to ur man abt it and hw u feel. Be wise. Better stil take her back to ur mom. Visit her occasionally. Gv mumsi money for her upkip.
I'm usually a peaceful person but i'm going to have to agree with poster 2:32. The only victim here is the 2 yr old child. She needs mama protection and strong love. if she continues to be abused because of you wanting to please this abusive man, she will rebel against you when she get older. And it will be your fault.
He sounds selfish and wants to control everybody. Hes a jerk. If he keeps this up, for the sake of your livelihood and your babies, you'll need to separate yourself from him as fast as you can and take your babies with you.
My God! I can't even imagine life without my little girl, let a
Alone beating my baby who nothing to please someone! I will die protecting her. Perverts everywhere. I'm really ashamed of u poster! I'm sorry I'm coming hard at u but ur a disappointment to motherhood! Smh. Irritated much
I read a story d oda day about a woman dat makes her four year old son kneel on a chair, she blindfolds him, holds his arms while her boyfriend rapes the child. Dear poster, I believe this is how that type of tin started. U will b pleasin him den one day he will ask u to allow him finger her, den una go graduate to the next level
I type dis wit all the vile in my body – " u make me sick!!!! I feel like vomitting all over u. U beat ur child to please a man? Wat next? My God! Pls if u dnt need dat child, find my email and send her down, I will train her! Jesus wept!!
I'm not marketin my goods here again cos dis story is too crazy
Ace Bentley we are tired of you. You are still holding on to the chauvinistic mentality of yesteryears. You blame every problem on women. I feel very sorry for the poor girl that would end up your wife. It's men like you that become a users, baterers, cheats and so on. Read, travel just do something to broaden your mind. You are an ignorant being. Men like you should have been extinct by now. I am really tired of your ignorant, chauvistic, egoistic views. If you have nothing to say just shut the fu*k up and don't type. Nobody takes your advice anyways. I really hope that this your attitude is an act.
When a man start looking for faults in your child or scorns them unnecessarily and highlights their wrongs to you often its time to be vigilant. Molesters ALERT! I know what am talking about. They do that so the child will find it difficult to report them. And even if they did you will only say it's because they are being rebellious against the accused since he is strict with them. You need to act fast. His attitude is not normal!
Why shld she send d baby bck to her mum, her own biological child.
Is she d only child of her mum. So if mama wants to go for omugwo or visit her other kids d baby wld leave schl or wat??
Mama has probably sacrificed to bring her kids up and now is the time to enjoy her kids instead u want her too start child rearing all over again.
She is UR responsibility and u wld be a bigger shame and disgrace to woman hood if u send her away.
If ur husband really loves u he wld love u and love evrything about u.
My husband had a son b4 we got married and d son was staying with d baby mama's mum in d village. I made sure we got d boy even though hubby was dragging cos he felt the girls family wld refuse but I went there personally to beg. I ve kids of my own 2 boys and a girl. U wld never know my 1st child is not biologica child. Wen vacation comes he is always reluctant to spend time with he's mum's pple but I insist so that tomoro nobody wld accuse me of stealin their son. I speak to him lovinly always wen explaining he's unique circumstance and he calls me mummy. He clings to me more than d other kids and always wants to sleep on my bed.
My husband confessed to me that cos of d love I show he's son he's own love has trippled.
There is nothn I ask for that he does not give me.
Sorry for the epistle but this story touched me.
Do not send this poor baby away.
For all those saying she shouldn't take her to her mum that only a mother can give her child the best, is she giving her d best? My advice to u poster is to return the child to ur mum and make sure u give her the best.
For all those saying she shouldn't take her to her mum that only a mother can give her child the best, is she giving her d best? My advice to u poster is to return the child to ur mum and make sure u give her the best.
Harsh advice
Shutdown your trap cos Ace was here before you were born
Bitter leaf advice
My heart goes out to your little girl. No man and I repeat, no man will make me treat my child unjustly. Do you know what this brings? Hatred! That girl will grow up to hate the ground you step on and will go further to staying away from you and perhaps start doing the wrong things just to hurt you. Your'e here complaining even in pregnancy, what of when you give birth to kids for your present husband; will you then burn her to death?
Please madam, I beg you in the name of God, if you know you can't give that precious angel the love she deserves, either send her back to your mother or to an adoption center or foster home where love and care will be showered on her.
You are really rare and your story touched me. But not all women can be like you. I believe that if she has not mustered the will to stand up to her husband as regards her child, then she shouldn't be with her in the first place.
I pray the almighty God to give you wisdom on how to go about on this issue. It's really a sensitive issue which you must address immediately. Like most people said, you don't beat your baby ( cos she is still a baby) just to satisfy your husband. You have to build your mind set and stand your grounds. With what is happening in our society and even the world at large about marriages and divorce. The truth is that you may not be his wife forever, but you will be her mother forever. If you nurse her well, she will forever bring joy to you but for husbands my dear, they have their issues and then you will ask your self is that what I sacrificed my child's love for? Be wise and act and don't allow your actions today to lead to your daughters abuse.
Madam pls don't maltreat ur child bkos of ur hubby.dat little princess deserves to b hapi.y send her back 2ur mum wen u r stil alive?speak with ur hubby nd of cos beat d he'll outta dt niece wen she hurts ur baby.na u born d pikin no body folo u push so guide nd cherish dt lil gurl+shes 2 little 2b going tru all ds.
Exactly! We are we talking about a 2yr old here. A 2 YEAR OLD who is very much a baby herself! Tufia! And the poster joins in beating the poor child. I'm boiling with rage!
Poster I weep for what this man has done to your self esteem. 🙁
Pleeeeease, that you had a child out of wedlock is not a reason to feel eternally grateful to a man for making you a Mrs to the point of making your child suffer this way. In fact someone needs to get the authorities on the 3 of you in that house for abusing that poor child.
OMG, OMG, OMG …
Gbam!
Anon thank you for the kind of heart you have. If there are 10 of you, our country would be a better place.
But I think the poster should send the poor girl back to her Mum because she is not strong enough (emotionally) to protect that child from abuse. Especially as she herself has joined in beating her. They will kill that girl in that house so it is better for her to send her back to her Mum, at least for now. She can come back when she is old enough to report what people do to her.
I hate to think about what will happen when the poster gives birth and all her attention will be on the special baby that her husband co-owns. That 7-year old girl in the house may be feeding her child her own poo for all I care. Yes, it has happened before. That girl is not safe in that house.
pls help me I've Been married for 8months and am yet to get pregnant, and my in laws are not helping matters. even my married friends are treating me like an outcast. pls my sisters help me with herbal remedies to help me get pregnant fast. d doctors confirm I have hormonal imbalance which I treated wit d prescription they gave me but unto no avail. advice me my WC sisters pls
Stop that