Hello Aunty Eya, I need you to please put this on your blog for me. It’s my sister’s husband. He has always been a very good man to me, my parents and his wife. They have been married for five years and are still believing God for children and I know he will do it.
I started
living with them a year after their marriage because my elder sister couldn’t stand staying all alone with no one to keep company. All her friends, she cannot see them because he forbids her, he thinks that her friends do not look responsible where as he does not even have time to spend with her.
He has a very demanding job that kept him late every day except on Fridays. Some Saturdays, he still goes to attend to the files on his table leaving my sis staring at the ceiling and praying too much.
When I started staying with them, I just wrote JAMB, but right now I’m in my final year and things are no longer the same for me. He has been good but not this too good. I don’t understand why he gives me too much money these days even without me needing or asking.
It is too much am scared of telling my sister and the look he has started giving me I don’t understand. I confided in my friend and she advised me to tell my sis but I don’t feel comfortable reporting my sister’s hubby to her, after all he hasn’t really said anything just that am not a child and am beginning to get very suspicious. I don’t want my suspicions to be confirmed in anyway. I need advice on how I can nip this new development of too much giving at the bud. When I say I don’t need the money, he insists and pressurizes me into collecting.
The worst thing that would ever happen to me is my Brother In Law making advances, and I would fight even with my last blood not to let that happen.
What should I do?
Does anyone think am just being paranoid? I don’t know if I should move to my parents place in the village. I need advice please.
I started
living with them a year after their marriage because my elder sister couldn’t stand staying all alone with no one to keep company. All her friends, she cannot see them because he forbids her, he thinks that her friends do not look responsible where as he does not even have time to spend with her.
He has a very demanding job that kept him late every day except on Fridays. Some Saturdays, he still goes to attend to the files on his table leaving my sis staring at the ceiling and praying too much.
When I started staying with them, I just wrote JAMB, but right now I’m in my final year and things are no longer the same for me. He has been good but not this too good. I don’t understand why he gives me too much money these days even without me needing or asking.
It is too much am scared of telling my sister and the look he has started giving me I don’t understand. I confided in my friend and she advised me to tell my sis but I don’t feel comfortable reporting my sister’s hubby to her, after all he hasn’t really said anything just that am not a child and am beginning to get very suspicious. I don’t want my suspicions to be confirmed in anyway. I need advice on how I can nip this new development of too much giving at the bud. When I say I don’t need the money, he insists and pressurizes me into collecting.
The worst thing that would ever happen to me is my Brother In Law making advances, and I would fight even with my last blood not to let that happen.
What should I do?
Does anyone think am just being paranoid? I don’t know if I should move to my parents place in the village. I need advice please.
U are just been paranoid.. Not everybody is a pervert u know, never assume..
He probably is trying to make u confortable so u won't say u wanna leave your sister and she won't be alone..
Jst relax my dear, and dress properly at home
Nice one mama ijebu, you could be right.
http://www.bevshineevents.blogspot.com
I'd have said you're just being paranoid but you said he's been giving you some funny looks and told you you're not a child…
Here's my advice, mention every thing he gives you to your sister, preferably when he's there too. Like "Sis, please tell Uncle thank you o, he gave me ___" That way he'll know that you're ready to tell your sister everything.
Also, please try not to be alone with him at any time. You said your sister is always at home so this shouldn't be too hard.
Until he actually comes out to confirm your suspicions, I think that's the best you can do.
All the very best
1) He myt feel u need extra money in ur final year. My day gave me almost twice my regular allowance and called me like mad. I think we spend extra in our finals.
2)He myt av extra money to spare.
3)He myt jus want u nt to consider leaving ur sis
4)He myt be thinking wat u r thinking.
All in all, start saving wateva u feel is extra. U will need it.
Be yourself.
If he ask u out, slap him and threaten to report him and report him.
I hope I made brain!!!!!
Exactly what I tink.Tell ur sister weneva he gives u anytin. Dats d best u can do.
hmmm…..i used to be in this position .i left my sis and she thought i was wicked and heartless, in all.not knowing i was only preventing 'nyama nyama' from happening…if all he does makes you uncomfortable,i suggest you leave your sis's house before things go wrong.am sure your sis will defo cope.God bless
Pls tell your sis everytime he gives you like its said here. You shud v been doing that all along.
Secondly you should try and relocate to your house I know your sis will be lonely but is she not working? If not she should start a biz to keep her busy. But pls leave Ooº°˚ b4 it gets to what you are suspecting. By then you won't be able to tell your sis cause she ll be heart broken.
Hmmmm
How come u've not been telling ur sister abt the cash? E bi like say u sef get interior motive.
I'll sugest u move to ur parents house b4 kasala go burst..
Patsy
d best is to thank him in front of ur sis like earlier said. so as not to insinuate anything. but i must advice u if he starts anythg, u beta leave and not betray ur sisters trust and love, cos it aint worth it.
Candid questions.
1. Why have you not been telling ur sister when he gives you money?
2. Are you attracted to him even slightly?
3. Are you secretly jealous of your sister…even just a little? Normal jealousy o…not deep envy…
4. Do you watch naija movies a lot? lol
Candid Assumptions
1. Maybe he now sees you as a daughter…I mean childless for five yrs, living with someone for four…is enough to make you grow more fatherly attachment to a person.
2. What if your sister talked to him to give you more money?
3. Maybe he is sowing a seed for his own kids…
My point is, dnt always assume negative about any situation until you have exhausted all the positive probabilities.
Gbamest
Plenty of good advice on hear my own addition to these comments is you should open a bank account if you do not already have one and start saving the extra cash he is giving you just in case you need to move out in a hurry should the worst happen. This quote is widely attributed to Maya Angelou but she claims no ownership to it but I believe in it all the same "a woman should have enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to"
How come u've not bin tellin n thankin ur sis weneva he givs u moni? Now I don't trust u!
My dear he is buttering you up big time for his main meal. I don't trust him.The look you mentioned especially. He shouldn't be hiding and giving you big big money. He should do it in front of her or through her. Biko thank him in front of your sister EVERY TIME. Never be alone with him. Once he realise you report his excessive giving he will either stop (if it wasn't innocent) or continue if it's out of clear conscience. na wa o.
Alterior not interior. Thank me later.
Poster pls leave now pecefully Ooº°˚ before it gets to what you are suspecting. You are the person that sees the look we don't. Prevention is better than cure….
@anon 6:31, it's ulterior and not alterior. Odo ngbodo pon. Thank me later.
Also ask yourself this question. Does he give your sister money? How much? How often?
There's always that time in life when we all get suspicious/paranoid/careful over issues that don't exist.
On your part, just have a clean conscience and always thank your sister and her husband whenever they are together (maybe after dinner) for the cash 'uncle' gave you.
As for the way you feel he looks at you, just take it easy. It may or may not be what you think. Just keep a clean conscience.
He hasn't said anything, so don't start assuming and thinking of irrelevant things. If it happens, when you get to that bridge, I'm sure you know what to do.
Rape is not gradual, its happen once. Port to your parent's abode, after you will not stay with her for life, abi you be. Man u fan?
Lmao, it's ulterior not alterior (is that even a word?). Thank me NOW!!!
Una do well, ulterior, Alterior, interior decoration… All of the above!
Na nite sch I go..
Patsy
keep telling your sister like people suggested above. In his presence. And please dress well at home. Men are moved by what they see. dont wear bum short or anything skimpy and be walking around the house even if its your sister's house. Avoid trouble.
Please just let your sister know that he gives you money and how much she will appreciate it that you told her.
The funny look might be in your mind oh!!!!!But i understand you men can take advantage especially when they know you need the money. if you are not comfortable you can leave to be safe and only come around to keep your sister company when he is out of town.
Encourage your sister to start something so she is not always lonely seeing you said she is always lonely when he goes to work.
Then if you must stay or your sister insist you stay, condition your self on the way you dress and act around him so it does look like you are the one sending signals to him.
Finally mind how you discuss such sensitive issues with people please, your sister might hear.
Lol. U pple na wa o
I see this from a different point of view.
I think your sister's husband is selfish and overly controlling!
How can u isolate your wife from her friends and be chasing after material things?
I always say most people are marrying for appearnaces,they aren't ready for it at all.
Yes providing for your family materially is good but it should never override the spiritual and emotional provision,it supersedes everything.
How does he expect to have a family when he's hardly around?his heavy work load might be a major factor for their inability to have babies.
How can you forbid your wife?is that even love?smh
N'way take the advice of Mrs B and Mimi,it makes sense die.
Proverbs 22:3 says shrewd is the one that has seen calamity and proceeds to conceal herself but the inexperienced have passed along and must suffer the penalty so my dear be shrewd
I beg to differ slightly oh! Keep collecting and ALWAYS tell your sister about it. If he's up to something, he will definitely tell you to stop telling your sister. Tell ok and continue collecting but be VERY careful make him no forcefully insert SIM oh! If you can,record some implicating conversatns so that we water don dey pass garri, tell ur sis and leave with ur savings. Pls don't let him insert SIM biko
Well like everybody said just be careful and keep a clean mind. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, see him like your own brother and like everybody said always be open to your sister. God be with you. Pls. check my blog. http://www.awesoness.blogspot.com your candid opinion is highly welcome
Just tell ur sis!
If he continues then enjoy, he's just being a kind brother in law!
Lmao. Biko poster try n relocate to ya father's house Ooº°˚ . Don't wait till it gets bad you will be shocked your sister will pick her husband over you the day kasala will burst
O baby!!! Deres fire on d mountain,run 4 ur dear life…if he succeeds,he hs notin 2 lose u wil b @ loss.