Dont know where to start
I am a silent reader on ur blog n I am in need of advice. Married with 2kids,4 almost 4yrs now.
I hav been living in denial I think, my husband is a good provider, he provides 4me n d kids as best he can, but he is very abusive, verbally, emotionally n last yr, it became physical, he beat me 3times last yr even tho I was pregnant then over trivial issues, he is very controlling, shouts at me at d drop of a heart, I am a very quiet n reserved person, confident, now I am a shadow of my former self, am very depressed, eat a lot, and all.
I hav been living in denial I think, my husband is a good provider, he provides 4me n d kids as best he can, but he is very abusive, verbally, emotionally n last yr, it became physical, he beat me 3times last yr even tho I was pregnant then over trivial issues, he is very controlling, shouts at me at d drop of a heart, I am a very quiet n reserved person, confident, now I am a shadow of my former self, am very depressed, eat a lot, and all.
I am scared of the
person I call husband, he calls me names, tells me I am a terrible mother, a useless mother, call me stupid, worse dan a goat, he once got drunk n had an accident n he said I was d cause cos am a witch, he drinks n does not come home til morning n sometimes still blames me for dat, he said I shld feel free to leave his house, he does not need me. I know am not making sense but dats how I feel, nothing makes sense in my life.
My mom n sistaz feel I shld leave him, left once n wen I returned, he became worse, says he regrets ever marrying me. I jus got a job and am planning to leave him. I just feel so weak, my self confidence is zero, am 29 but look 40. He treats strangers beta dan he treats me, he is a terrible bully. I jus needed to vent.
Also, can u gimme d ikorodu lady contact? Need a fren dat will totally understand my ramblings.
Aunt Eya, pls dont give out the contact of the ikorodu lady. Kinda doubt this story in a way, have a feeling the person just wants to meet with Odun. Poster if the marriage is abusive, leave. You have your family to talk to if you are indeed in need of help.
This is a lot for you to bear you need comfort and encouragement from the word of God. Check http://www.mariasdesire.wordpress.com
I agree with teerexmusings…The OP's story is too smooth. He or she is probably just trying to unravel the identity of the Ikorodu lady.
We might be wrong though, but it is better to err on the side of caution
If u are sure that u are going thru all this, y not make Jesus ur friend ? He is the best friend ever.
My dear,all u nid s prayers! Pray until smtin happen,do dat mainly wen he s not at home,get books on making marriage work n read. Make sure on ur part dat u look appealing,very kempt,kip d kids neat n d houx also! But I'm afraid of dat violent aspect,if he continues pls leave d houx but make sure u r not caught off guard. If u don't know how to dress n look hawt,pls google s ur friend,go 2 beauty shops wia dey can give u beauty tips.
This story feels a lot lyk my story now, only difference is I'll be 2 yrs in marriage nxt month, av only a son, he beat me up on xmas day 2013 nd on d eve of easter dis year (in a completely unprovoked attack). He's told me he wants a divorce and I should leave his house, but I av nowhere to go to cos my parents wants him to put my belongings outside 1st b4 helping me, and knowing my husband he'll never do dat cos he cares about his image and how pple perceive him to be a good person a lot. Poster it is well with us.
Aunty Eya pls don't give out any contact or address to anybody, poster I'm in your shoes so i really understand how you feel the only diff. Btw d two of us is you have kids for your boo while i don't have thou i was pregnant but my husband beat me i had miscarriage of 3month and broke my head, i stood by him when we both were nothing we eat from hand to mouth. I cried to God and God answered my tears,prayers and God bless him. When its time for me to sit and eat wat i sowed for that's when my husband knw i came from poor family started maltreating me and carrying diff kind of girls to d extent of bringing them to our matrimonial home if im not around. He want divorce and want to marry the rich man daughter there's no prob in that but its very painful. I think of it everyday but I've really moved on. Dear poster with my little story you should know what to do. But before taking any step pray to God to guide you cus your life is more important to us. God will make we women happy In our homes in Jesus Name.Amen.
I won't tell u what to do, it's been Abt 2 weeks since I left my husband, I left with my 9 month old baby. I have never been dis happy in a while.. i'm so much at peace, no insults, no abuse, no walking on eggshells, no beating. Just peace and me re-arranging my life, i'm looking for a job but for now I have the support of my parents. I left because I have read on the cycle of abuse and I have been living d pattern, from slap to full blown punching and kicking. Abuse doesn't stop like that and from experience it will only get worse.. same way my parents told me dey will support wteva decision I take, d ball is in your court. It's your life, you only live once, make it the best.
Good for you and May God bless you entirely. Do what is best for your child and yourself and just keep on moving straight no looking back at that cowardly man. It is well.
and how are you so sure that Jesus is not her friend. smh
I am against divorce, I have never been a supporter of divorce, I always believe There is a way out in marriage, that with extra effort to make the marriage work, and with prayer also, it could work, there is nothing God can not do, I know you have prayed a lot, but you have to still continue praying and praying hard, because divorce is never the best option, especially when there are children involved, it has a way of affecting children, that's why God in his wisdom, wants husband and wife to live together for life, and let no man separate them, I suppose maybe children were one of the reasons he considered before making that command or law and its always safe, healthy and is the best when children are raised by the two parents with parental care and love, but I am also a against domestic violence, so if a marriage is no longer safe for your life please you have to leave that marriage,
In between, please who is ikorodu woman? I grew up in ikorodu and love that town so much, at the mention of ikorodu, all the air in my body stands at attention
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There's sth abt dis story! ur hubby just beats u just like dat. Did he just wake up one morning to start beating u. U didn't say wat happened dat him triggered ? ? Did he lost his job or wat is bothering him did u care to find out? wat did u do wrong dat warrants him calling u all sorts of name? Wtc do u feel me?
Anno 10:22,so U re saying dt if she did somtin wrong or if d man lost his job or if somtin if bothering d hubby is enough reason for d hubby to turn his wife into a Punching bag,pls if U dnt knw wat to say jst stfup, no body is feeling anytin U jst wrote here,pls poster be wise and advise Urself seriously,bcs d best advise U ll get is d one U gave urself,we migth say so mny tins here,but U ll not take it since Ur people hve advised U to tell d man and U hve done it,pray to God to give wisdom to mke a wise decision by urself and pls aunty Eya am not in surpport of U giving out ones contact to anybod here,maybe U first get in touch wt d ikorodu woman den if she is ok wit it den U can give out her contact.
Shut up! He does not have right to beat her no matter what…. even if she cheats, no beating just dissolve d marriage in a mature way
Dnt mind dat foolish anon, so if he looses his job d wife will pay 4 it? Dumbest comment ever! Poster please leave dat foolish man and run 4 ur dear life!
Read previous posts to know the lovely Ikorodu Lady.
Poster, we all have stories in our marriage. Even our mothers too will tell you wat they went through. I hate divorce i don't like it atall with or without children. I'm into it my husband as been threatening me with divorce tot he was joking upon all d beating,abusive words and names I still continue to pray that God should change him.My husband is a very proud man,arrogant and womanizer nobody can talk to him anyhow. Upon all i started calling him pastor. To cut d story short my husband came bk home very late around 3am he beat hell out of me because of his girl friend no one to rescue me. Was on my night gown i had to call my cab man to take me to soso place i.e my parent house. Few month later i gt divorce petition from him tot i was dreaming. He didn't allow me to take a pin in that house. If I tell you I've moved on its a lie my dear its not easy. Poster in your own case there's nothing prayer and fasting cannot do or tell your husband you want to go for like 3weeks vacation but let him know where you are going to don't go to friends house but your parent or his parent house $ by d time you come bk and u think you can't coupe any longer pls leave d man. Chei the way some men are treating their wives now adays is bad.God will wipe our tears away.
Poster! so soweee dear. Most often dan not, women that re beaten re housewives
Pardon me! That's y I advice women to be independent and hard working. Wen u re independent ur hubby respects u..cos u barely ve time for his nonsense and u shud carry ursef well, let him no dat u value ursef very well.
Any man who lays a finger on his wife deserves 2 go 2 hell. No Mata wat she did 2 him dat doesn't give him d rite 2 even yell at her let alone touch. TUJ 4 ma hubby of life.love u sugar
If una hear wetin some women dey do, una go open mouth! Woman wey like her face no go use razor blade mouth clear her husband. B4 any man raise hand, I don run for mi life – God forbid bad thingz.
Women – empower urselfs. No man will raise his hand to beat/abuse a wife who is the president general of world bank…
Lol. I'm laughing because research has shown that wives that r even literate n work r more likely to b beaten than d illiterate wives. Abusers don't care who u r, to dem u r nothing. Less than dem
That's what you think. If you want be the President of World Bank,an abuser is an abuser.
That is a stupid statement I know a GM in the bank that her husband beats her she even had to get a gun to defend herself. I know a director in civil service whose husband used to beat her before she left him pls get your fact right
May God help us women! Amen
Abuse of any kind is wrong, most men can drive their wives crazy, and while you think you are protecting your kids, they most likely come out damaged emotionally, cos seeing daddy beating mummy will affect them ob the long run. Poster, I think you need to make up your mind on what you want to do cos nobody can decide for you, ask yourself the serious questions:do you still love him?is he worth waiting for?etc, only when you can answer these questions, then you can decide, pray for guidance, if there's one thing I know, some men don't need a reason to be violent, you can be the best wife and they will still hit you, and that's a fact!but if it's a situation where u are afraid for your life, pls leave, a dead mother is of no use to her kids.
This story is quite pathetic. I pray you find peace..hmm afi suru. For organic cocoa butter, pure coconut oil, unrefined shea butter, sweet almond oil. Contact me for your order request badeji01@yahoo.com
@ Alloy, its "by d way" "not in between". Aunty Eya I believe u hav d email addy of Odun, contact her and discuss wit her if she finds it cool den gv d poster her email adress so they can take it u from here.
Am so so happy 4 my dear. Its a good decision u have made. Its only one life, dont let someone cut it short for u in the name of marriage. U can now stay there peacefully and then pray for him 2 change, only will u go back. The Lord is ur strength dear. All the best.