| That’s Rihanna flirting. |
It’s Okay to be single. However, if that’s not what you want for yourself, then know that THESE are no longer the days of asking God to show you your wife by sending a kind lady to feed your donkeys or cows as sign that it’s God’s will. Times have really really changed. The technique for knowing God’s will in marriage for you has changed just like the means for travelling from Lagos to Abuja is no longer on horses and chariots. Nicole tells you why… Below:
In the years that I’ve spent navigating through dating app profiles and YouTube tutorials on “how to be un-single,” I’ve noticed a
common trend: single women tend to get their advice on being single from married women.
Now, although it can be wise to take heed to these ladies’ advice since they’ve obviously found success in the area, the time has come for single women to reclaim the narrative surrounding what it means to be single in 2018.
You see, I view dating the same way I view technology: both landscapes are changing at such a rapid rate that the advice you receive from someone who’s been married since 2004 is the equivalent of trying to use a Motorola Razor to Facetime a loved one: the form just doesn’t fit the function. Am I suggesting that you totally dismiss the wise counsel of your counterparts in committed relationships? Well, sort of… Let’s just say instead of throwing away all of the advice that you’ve received up to this point, we’re just removing some bugs. Consider this your upgrade.
The best place to start when it comes to shifting the narrative is to come into agreement that most – if not all – of us are doing this whole “single and dating” thing totally wrong.
This could very well be at no fault of your own and could simply come down to the fact that your dating strategy is obsolete. Fret not. Here’s five ways to take your dating tactics from the ’99’s to the ’10’s.
1. You don’t flirt
You just sit and watch while they take all the eligible singles in your league. Whether it’s fear or lack of technique, your flirting game is stuck in junior high school. Look, flirting isn’t always about awkwardly winking your eye from across the room – although this may apply. Sometimes it’s as simple as a warm smile and engaging in light, witty banter. If the thought of flirting gives you hives, remember that it’s not one-size-fits-all. Maybe your approach is more girly with dainty hair flips or maybe you’re more laid-back and like to incorporate a gentle graze to his forearm or biceps in between jokes. Whatever makes you most comfortable will make you most confident. Show him what you’ve got. Don’t just sit and think that good makeup, slaying and good hair weaves will work the magic.
2. You have an invisible fence built around you, you are just in your world.
3. You don’t go out, you don’t meet people, you are stuck between your office and home, everyday, every week, every year.
4. All your free time is spent on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp, no real relationships with humans in the real world. You live on Social Media, smiling to yourself daily as you enjoy reading comments and posts.
5. You have no extra time for other people. Too busy to care, listen and show affection. Every time it’s “I have to run along” where are you running to?
Great piece.