Hello Aunty Eya, how are you and your family? Please I need your advice and that our God fearing readers of the Wives connection blog. I have been married for five years and have only worked in two out of those years. After my first child, I couldn’t return back to work and so haven’t worked in 3 years. I just got a great job that came with everything I ever wanted in a job offer. A car, accommodation, good salary and other great benefits. The job is in another town.
The interview was so rigorous and being out of a job for this long I didn’t know I would be picked but God favoured me. My husband has agreed to be visiting every weekend if I take the offer, he
cannot relocate because of his job. There are very good schools in that city for my children. Nothing is holding me back right now other than the “fear of the unknown.” I have never lived away from my husband in our five years of marriage and am worried right now.
I trust him and also do not want to disappoint the people who gave me this job. Please Aunty Eya and other readers, I need good advice from other heads. I’m a Christian and wouldn’t want to go against God’s will. I have been praying about this and also feel help can come from wives connection.What should I do please?
The interview was so rigorous and being out of a job for this long I didn’t know I would be picked but God favoured me. My husband has agreed to be visiting every weekend if I take the offer, he
cannot relocate because of his job. There are very good schools in that city for my children. Nothing is holding me back right now other than the “fear of the unknown.” I have never lived away from my husband in our five years of marriage and am worried right now.
I trust him and also do not want to disappoint the people who gave me this job. Please Aunty Eya and other readers, I need good advice from other heads. I’m a Christian and wouldn’t want to go against God’s will. I have been praying about this and also feel help can come from wives connection.What should I do please?
Ah @last I can now comment. Don't kno if its my fon or ntwk. @poster I advice u take d job. Fear is of devil as far as u hold ur God strong n since u trust ut hubby all tins ll b taken care of by God. 2ndly don't leav d visiting for only ur hubby,u2 can come down n c him as time permits. Gudluck n congrat
Take the job since your husband is not complaining.gudluck
If ur husband is in agreement,pls take the job,he can always get a transfer. However,as a Christian,I think u should take time to pray about it,if u hav peace about it,then rebuke that fear and take the job,also,don't forget to search your heart to understand why you are scared
Hmmmnn thank God for d new job, pls pray and seek Gods face concerning this job, once u get his word go ahead with it, ur husband has already approved dat is a good sign! Remember God is not a creator of confusion, so he will order all u need including school for ur kids etc! Thank him in advance and hand over all ur job, kids, hubby into his hands, he will keep ur husband frm devourers and he will take care of ur kids, he will give u favour in d sight of ur superiors! What can stop him frm geTting a transfer for ur hubby? He is the alpha n omega he knows your beginning n end and that end is a good one! Don't limit God pls he can do more than we can imagine, he has not given us the spirit of fear! So rebuke that fear okay! Will join u in prayers if I feel anything negative in my spirit will inform u! For now praise the lord and forget fear!
Oh God of Elijah, where ru You???? You know I've been applying and writing sexy cover letters to numerous companies and still waiting on You! Please give me that job that will come with a good salary, car and all the fringe benefits. In Jesus Name Amen!!!!!!!!
A transfer may nt be possible to her state. Nt every company has branches all over. If na oil company wit branches in Lagos, Warri or PH and she's in neither of these states, how will d transfer be done?
Hmmm. Not everything that comes in a beautiful package is from God. Be Careful and do not give the devil room to operate in your marriage.
In accepting the offer, do you have peace in the midst of the unknown? If yes – take the offer. Let things work themselves out supernaturally. It is possible either you or hubby will get something better that calls for relocation to the same state, or there will be some transfers – let God work it out. Getting a job could be the first package in the list of things God has prepared for you this year – more will come & you will give Him the glory.
Think about this wisely oh. Not d one dat we'll start seeing another story tmrw with "If I had known" caption. A man can willingly agree to this arrangement for several reasons.
I have learnt first-hand lessons of life.
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what is d unknown? dat yr husband will cheat on u or wat?
please think abt it wisely. pray and follow God's instructions…
Am not married sha,but I think u should take d job 4 a better life 4 y'all,at least he allowed u go cuz he trusts u,so remove all the fears u have within u and go,my dad never stayed with us,he was always transferred,but he came every weekend/month end depending on d state he was,I think ur employers should know that ur husband is not wit u,so they can grant u permission from time 2 time.
I thank God for you.If your husband has agreed to allow u go,u can start d job,but please be humble.God please do this kind of miracle job for me too after 7years of searching and applying for job.I tap into your blessings.WC families,pls always remember me in your prayers so I can come back here to share my testimonies.
ADEYANJU
My father didn't live wit us cos of his job and my mom couldn't move either cos of us d kids. He came every wknd. I'm 23, it's jst last year we found out he had a new family. Had two kids. So my dear poster, dnt tk chances.
Ma'am as much as this job offer is a great opportunity, have you weighed the pros and cons of accepting it? what's more important to you, close family knit or a better life regardless of its cost? Have you thought of your kids and the fact that they won't be seeing their father everyday? don't give the devil a chance please. If the company can transfer you to the city you and ur hubby reside GREAT! if not plssss think twice.
Let's not use the strive to be successful in life (which is all vanity btw) to destroy our God-given peace.
@Banke… I understand your view point. It's for this same reason of thinking twice that she brought her case here. Did you consider that this job offer could be the saving grace for her family – I'm not praying something goes bad. In as much as close family knit are important, do you know that some men work offshore and bearly spend more than 10days home in a month. Accepting the job does not tie her down if things become unbearable – in that case, she resigns.
@anon 5:25, fathers (husbands) cheating do happen even when the woman is fully on ground.
@Poster, take the job and use the first 3months as trail… if you are not comfortable with the arrangement after 3months, nothing stops you from resigning. Your next employer would know you dropped out of job because of family and would be willing to shift grounds if they need you.
My dear, pls in d name of God, dnt take it. I'm a military brat so I'm talking from experience. A good man can turn bad in face of loneliness.since u had d interview in d town u live, they can mk space if they really want you. Ur kids need their Dad everyday and trust me, phone isn't d best wen u nid to share how ur day went. Pls, biko o. God will help u. Remzy
Fear of the unknown? Like i always say 'Family Over Everything'. My brother and I was posted to the same state where my sister lives with her hubby. She got a job in a different state. But because we are that close in our family (even closer to her hubby, he is our big brother), we lived with him while my sister went to the other state with her kids. Funny enough, the month we concluded our NYSC, she was posted back to the state her hubby stays. Trust me, she was comfortable leaving her hubby with us, it wouldn't have been easy leaving him all ALONE. Don't leave your hubby ALONE cos of money oo *dragging my ears*… Please don't!
Please Aunty Eya and other readers, I need good advice from other heads. I'm a Christian and wouldn't want to go against God's will.
IMO, In the early times, wives like Sarah, Rebecca and others never stayed away from their husbands. The family always moved together and settled together. Wives andn husbands stayed and fanily was close knit. I don't think there is any Bible family that had a husband settled in a different town from his wife. Even with their nomadic lifestyle, The kids lived and grew up with mum and Dad.
I know, that is how it should be but times have changed. There were no Airplanes and multinational jobs then. There were no bills and fees to be paid. No car purchase and maintenance, No need to build houses and acquire property cos they mostly lved in tents.They lived on their animals and grains.
Things are so different now BUT that doesn't mean God has changed. Times are changigng but God has no changed. What would Jesus advise you do at a time like this?
Taking that job, is going to make your family life better. You will have more than you have now. Will that job afford your family the opportunity of owning bigger lifetime savings and more prosperity? I would say yes.. If you were comfortable with your husband's salary alone, this job will increase the level of comfort for yiour family. However, your husband's comfort may reduce because you won't be there anymore. He will start eating your meals only on weekends.
*He may start cooking for himself that is if he can cook and has the time to do that.
*He may start eating out.
*He may try to get an alternative cook cos eating out a whole year for a family man who has lived five solid years of his life eating from his own kitchen?
* The kids will miss a little bit of their Daddy's upbringing even when he is still in their lives.
*Your expenditure will skyrocket cos now you have to maintain two homes.
Expenses will be so much now than it used to be when you all lived under one roof.
I hope your husband is not the type of man that will start feeling insecure when you start moving about with a personal driver i.e if he does not have yet?
When I came to type my comment, All I wanted to tell you was "take the job!" I look back to when my marriage was five just like yours now,if I got this type of offer then, would I have accepted or declined?
I would have accepted it and gone for a thanks giving service. Yes
Right now, after about fourteen years of marriage, if I got that offer, will I take it?
No, I don't think so.
That I am the blog Author does not make my advice more intelligent or more important than others. No!
Read every body's advice, then read mine too like every other. I think a good job as this should never be rejected for any reason cos you need that money but I don't feel comfortable telling you to accept it. I don't feel happy telling you to accept it. If you guys are doing well and not living like from hand to mouth. If you can pay all your bills and still have something left for the rainy day, then maybe you should not take that avoidable separation from your huisband. You may never be able to live together again. That doesn't mean it's not working for some families.
Many spouses see only on weekends or during Annual leave and it's working perfectly fine for them.
Working in a different town is not bad but the fact that you brought it here could mean that you are worried. All I can say is, if you are worried, you fear the unknown, maybe you should look for something to do in that town where you live.
If you are worried, don't take it. If you don't feel peaceful about this relocation, then don't relocate.
@Anon6:33 – are you saying your sister's husband would have done something funny if you guys did not stay with him?
Your story line would have encouraged the Poster to take the job except for your last sentence…
Seems aunty Ojay is still at the venue of the wedding ceremony she attended today.
Where you at aunty Ojay? We're hungry.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
@Johnson, cos i witnessed it first hand, i knew how the man always felt especially weekends that everybody was at home. After talking with his nuclear family on the phone, he'd enter his room and remain there for some hours, thinking. Our being there made it a little bit easier for him cos we hung out, cooked like a family would but there was still a huge gap. Now imagine what would have happened if we were not there! Of course he was happy the wife got the job, its a federal government good paying job, he encouraged her to take it but the truth of the matter is that he was lonely, even with us there. No, i won't support any man go through that again!
Let God's wisdom, not your wisdom or human wisdom, guide you in any decision you finally take as regards this. Dazz all.
Ma please how can I know you. I need your type in my life right now. How can I contact you? Beautiful words.
@poster thank God you are a child of God in as much as you came here for advice,
in my opinion, all this questions other posters are telling you to ask yourself should just be a guide or prayer point to the Lord let the Holy spirit answer the questions it is only God who knows the future and the beginning from the end that Can guide you on what to do.
People have taken such important decisions. Without asking God first and have lost their homes.
Pray pray pray even if our husband have given you the nod this is when two of you should get on your kneels and seek Gods face.
Where u work, who you marry, where to live, schools our Children attend Etc
are. Very important decisions we leave for very the Holy Spirit to make because going according to your flesh can twist destiny if you understand what I mean.
Cheers and plenty favour
God's ways are not our ways. My sis met her. Hubby in the bank and as colleagues the bank's policy didn't allow the marriage. She opted to resign for the wedding to take place and everyone screamed blue murder, but she went ahead with it.
The same year after wedding, her hubby was transferred to another state and by this time she was jobless and pregnant. He used to come back Fridays and leave Sunday evening, for almost a year, if not more.
My sis even though not working didn't move with him, they kept praying. As I'm talking to you now, not only has he been transferred back, my sis has gotten a bigger and betterjob. Her pay Is even more than hubby's.
If you keep listening to people you won't do anything. Like I said, God's ways are not our ways. I see the hand of God in this dear poster. God's promises to us are yea and amen. Nothing will happen to your family. Soon you shall testify of how God proved himself faithful.
I think you should try it out albeit for a few months, like other posters said, if the pressure becomes unbearable you can resign.
God bless you.
Take the job and give yourself a target,at this tender age we should be able to think of what we can do for our self,with your husband support and co-operation you will surely get there.BUT ALWAYS PUT GOD FIRST.