Please I have a problem I would like to share on your blog as I have come to see your blog as a big family. Mine is not the usual relationship issue.
I am working
in a government establishment and earn well for myself considering I am still single. I am 26yrs. I have been working for 2 years and have been able to save enough money and would love to buy a car because going to work has not been easy for me. The problem is that my dad is against me buying a car and said I should wait till I am ready to marry before buying a car. I am not dating anyone at the moment but praying and hoping for God to bless me with my own man though am not desperate for marriage either. Should I listen to my dad and wait till I am ready to marry (which I don’t know when considering I am not dating anyone at the moment) or should I go ahead and buy the car?Please publish this story as anonymous too.
Thanks.
listen to your dad sis, the words of our parents are words of wisdom…
Listen 2 ur dad pls. I personally don't lik ladies driving wen dey are nt married. If its a company car good abt buying urslf No.U can invest ur moni on other profitable things.Thanks
I tink u shld listen to ur dad. I was face wit d same situation n many advice me not to buy a car cos sitors who are intrested in me might be scared to come close to me or some might see u as a prostitue or a material girl. So those might be his reason too or better reasons. Just look at his reasons n weigh them to no if his reasons are justifiable or not.
I like bn realistic o.are u sayn if she buys a car she will find it difficult to get a man dat will marry her? Pls it dosent follow dat na olding days yarns abeg.my dear just seek ur fathers consent,try to make him see reasons y u need a car..if u are Godfearing,humble and prayerful ur man will surely come.wit or witout a car.
Try 2 make ur dad see reasons y u rili nid d car, i dnt believe d@ a lady ownin a car will drive suitors away. U re wrkin nd i think u shud make urself comfortable within ur capability
True talk
as in eeh?? pls all these things don't really apply. a wise and mature man who knows his onions cannot develop cold feet cos a young single and hardworking girl owns a car. What if it was a gift from her parents? Except the girl is proud, bitchy and lacks manners. African mentality dey tire me sometimes.
My dear, if you really want the car please talk to daddy to see reasons with you then go ahead and buy the car. i might advise that you re-consider buying it if you live alone and that's cos of our warped African mentality. just believe that with or without a car, you will surely meet a good guy.
I don't mean to belittle your issue but I had to laugh when I read your issue and some of the comments above. My 2 cents: there's nothing wrong in getting a car when you are unmarked. Driving and owning a car is part of the necessary life skills that everyone needs. I remember in uni how we used to be so jealous if all the girls whose parents had bought them cars. My mantra in life is not to care what people think as in whether or not they'll they you are a runs babe etc. you don't even need those type of men who think its an issue for omen to have cars before they get marred – they are full of issues and are complex ridden. I remember how angry my grandmother used to be to see me biking or taking cabs when there was a car in the house but I could not drive. What she advised me to do was to learn to drive Kai Kai so I could be independent. This from the mouth of an illiterate 80 something year old woman in those days. If you have the money, then go for it as you definitely have the need. I must commend you for wanting to get a car, other girls go dey find sugar daddy or rather spend the money on hair and designer bags.
Sorry line 3 should have said unmarried
Dear, there is nothing wrong in having a car especially as regards the kind of person you are or people you hang out with( If your friends have cars, you will probably want one too). I know what buses do to people nowadays; you dress for work looking suave then board a dirty bus that dirties or tears your dress. Keeping a car is cool especially if you like to look the same way you did when you left the house. If you feel your dad is concerned that men may not want to commit because you have a car, then buy a car in his name and tell the guy that it's your dad's car.
Don't ever think that men will look at you as very materialistic when he sees your car, not at all. But all the same, just talk to your dad and if he says no, save your money for a future car and let the issue rest.
Am still in d uni and I stay wif my uncle's family,I drive to sch bkos there's enough car in d house n am 23,I hv gotten more attention from beta guys than I used to have b4 n when a guy comes close n sees u r an independent girl they'll tek the challenge n measure up n anyone who is intimidated by ur standard of living will only darg u down if u go into a r/ship wif them,my advice? Let ur dad see reason wif u n go ahead n buy ur car n only then can u meet a man who'll undstand d standard of life u want 4 urself. Being ur real self bring d right guy n belittling urself won't help u in the long run.#Ugo#
@MizOsa i am sorry for you. You should move to Saudi Arabia.
It is amazing to still see the little minded people in Nigeria. So driving a car now is a big deal.
My dear explain to your dad why you need a car. Your husband will not even think it is an issue.
Move to Saudi Arabia. So driving is just for married women? Please listen to yourself.
Thanks dear. I really don't get it if u hv worked hard to earn a car n u need a car then get a car. Its ur money and life. Your husband is not your God for chrissake. You shld be able to take up decisions with or without a man. Its only Nigerians that see husbands as gods to consult even when they are obviously foolish. My dear get the car its your money!
@ kiky saudi ve der own reasn 4 nt allowin women to drive so pls u don't ve to mk a fun out of it. As d lady concern, if u think ur decision will nt hurt ur dad, there's nting wrong in it.
lol..is this a joke ? so single ladies cannot own a car because it may hinder her from getting a suitor ? God wont bring a man that thinks you don't need to drive a car your way!!! I mean what kind of guys do you want to attract ? you worked hard and you deserve YOUR car..
this is not 1990 something where the men provided EVERYTHING!! people will talk regardless if you have a car or not.And why should a woman in this day and age depend on a man for everything ? "suitors may be scared that you are too independent just because you own a car ? then those are not the kind of insecure men you should have around you then.
preach sister!
I'm in exactly your shoes. Buy a car jor. What does ur dad mean? U dress up for work looking good and board all these dirty araba buses that will scatter ur hair and make u loook scruffy b4 u reach wrk.
When I save up I'm so getting a car. Suitors will come with or without your driving a car!
Plss dnt sori 4 me I dnt need it. Dats y I used 'I personally' if u nt ok with wa hv said gv ur own opinion every 1 is entitled 2 his or her own opinion. Sori 4 ur self.Mtcheeewww
@Kiky u and ur family members shuld move 2 d village cus u obviously lack understanding. I wuld prefer 2 invest my moni on other things dan buy a car. I used d word 'I personally'. I 9va said she can't drive cus she is nt married. I even mentioned dat if its a company car no p. Bt buy with my moni NO.I wuld invest on something else. Kiky be Wise.
Kiky u should move to d ZOO cus u be have more like an Animal.Express ur views,contradict others views politely.Rubbish
Pls there is no such thing as not getting a right suitor because y have a car. The right would come at the right time, a better one at that sef.
So if you feel the car is ur topmost priority now, then go for it. It's true that the words of elders are full of wisdom, if only you would let your old man see reasons with you.
Enjoy ur ride
Ahdaisy, after people like myself who encouraged you to ignore the negativity around here,you still made yourself a lit too bit scarce here not fair o! Don't succumb to bullying in any form. Where is that Bona boy too?
Madam kiky,I always feel ashamed for you when I see all this your rude remarks. Maybe its cos I see ur face. Can't u be civil for once in your life?
My colleague said she feels u're so bitter cos u're obviously old(from ur pic)and u're single or in an unhappy marriage,and if u're not old,den u're an ugly girl with with weak chin.
I'm sure she's not the only person with ds sentiment,as even I share it.
Kiky,CHANGE! It might just attract beautiful things to ur life!
My dear as long as you are not buying the car on credit level or you are not aiming at a car that is too expensive and make you penniless eventually, I say go ahead and buy your car.
But my advice is please please talk to your Dad and make him understand why you really need the car. Besides there is absolutely nothong wrong with a single girl driving her own car, I got my first car with my hard earned money at the age of 23 and boi was I proud of myself.
Keep entering bus naa,mizosa.nonsense brain.husband is now the ultimate.TUFIA.mtchewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.u shld have told her not to eat cos she never marry.abegiiii!and don't insult kiki,she is right go to yemen or smtin!
There are lots of cheap and small cars that would not be viewed as "big girls" cars. So darling, make your dad see that cars are now necessities and not luxuries. Suitors would come car or no car.
Seriously I don't know where pple get dis crazy ideal 4rm dat as a single gal wen u hav a car guys will not come around dammmmmm.dear poster if u feel u need a car pls go ahead I'm not saying u should not listen 2 ur dad but also rmba u ar 26 n not 18,I just bought a car my self n dat is not stopping men 4rm coming around in fact men will respect u more.just do what u feel is right ok.
My dear buy your car,are u working 4 play???pls,ur level of toasters will upgrade immediately,you will attract "better" men.any man who sees you driving and gets intimidated is not a man.what is car sef??lol I had my first car @ 16.my dad gave me,bt I didn't drive till I was 17.so puleaze,I have never been approached by sm1 who cannot afford one,dats d spirit,buy a car in 1year time u will marry sef.ur dad is talking from the older generation.nobody will call u runs girl.na runs girl dey marry nowadays,in case uv nt heard.also what's d effort of your working and working??what man can't stand class and a hardworking woman who pays her own bills??I will be against u moving out of your fathers house as a single girl.but pls about the car,buy it!when u make more money,buy for your dada too.especially a jeep.I'm 24,I'm driving and I'm engaged.my dad got me my car,and it didn't stop me 4rm meetingng my wonderful fiance,so dearie,get your car.
Shut up and leave kiky!ppl drive in d village.what kind of creature are u?invest in other things kno.she has excess money 4 investment + extra 4 car.if u want to invest in other things then u dnt even have the car money.its bcos of ppl like u,dt men will keep calling woman fish brain.2mar now a man will say "I was d first person to buy u a car u this pauper.." Giving them unnecessary bragging rights.I won a beauty pageant in 2010 and got a car,if I didn't have the car,I wldnt have met my lovely husband,cos a minor accident involving his own car led me to him.duhhhh!nyway,car can't stop ur husband 4rm coming dear poster it will only upgrade you.
For calling kiky an animal you are too,animals identify each othehr.
Hey, my darling no vex abeg…I have been so busy eh… Nowadays when I am not here, I would be wondering “what are they cooking? Who are they advising? What are arguing about…lolz. Today, I had an issue with the police cos I did not stop when they told me to and I was on high speed. Abeg my people, so it has reached the level of them telling you, “madam, let's go to the ATM"? Today I understood why people curse them.
As for bullies, hm, you cant imagine that till now some people still send me stupid mails. One even went to my profile pic to harass me seriously for 'not advising the lady that is pregnant for a married man well'. As in she went as far as insulting my looks (i have deleted it tho).. But no be me dey here now?
Haters gon hate! But dat don't remove food from my plate!
Dear Poster…I understand ur predicament but what does the bible say about obeying your parents? Pls try and convince your dad that it does not stop anything. Probably cos you are not dating anyone, he feels you'll spoil ur chances. Truth is, the right man will marry you once you pray about it and commit it to God's hands, whether you are driving a spaceship or not. So convince daddy and when you get the car, pls dnt look down on guys using OY2LA plate numbers. *(On Your Two Legs Always…heheh). Levels can change any second…
Shola dear Shola your words hurt. Infact i will not sleep this night and will really think deeply about what you have said.
At least i am bold enough to put a face to my comments. Please Shola let us see your beauty queen face.
Please what does a weak chin mean? enlighten me.
U dumb ass.u shuld gv ur own opinion asshole
Yes after God husband is my ultimate. Get a life and stop acting stupid.
Smh 4 u. If only u hv brain u wuld hv understood wat I said.Did I tell her nt drive a car??????I pity 4 ur husband cus u are senseless.
Kiky and anon 5:57pm smh. Cus u bought hv a very bad attitude. I feel 4 those who live around u cus with ur bad attitude I know its difficult. Kiky u are so old and ugly yet u choose not to resppect urself. Anon 5:57pm people lik u 4m poor homes are very loud cus u missed d opportunity or hving a good life.Its a pity cus people lik u are suffering greatly in d hands of ur hubby.Den wen u go out u talk anyhow whereas inside u are a slave.
Na wa o,my popsy bought me my own car too o,n my fiance met me while driving,my dear dis no follow o.so jus beg popsy,am sure he'll understand.also get ur mum 2convince him,its really nt a big deal2drive dese days pls,its not
@Mizosa,abeg nor vex oo.so if person dash u car u nor go collect or u go collect am come sell am just because u are single? U tnking like dis bcos u neva hammer,once u hammer after investing part of d money u also hav to spoil ursef a little na..life is too short abeg and besides car is not a luxury na necessity o..
U are entitled 2 ur own opinion. Dats my own 4 myslf. Did u read wat I wrote? I evn said if is a company car no p. Pls dats my view 4 myslf u hv urs 2 urslf.thanks
Anon 5:57pm u are not married @ all because a married woman cannot gv ur above statement. Your statement above shows how irresponsible you are.You lack manners greatly.After sleep with all the judges 2 win your beauty pageant dats if u ever won.You come here 2 speak as you like.People like you are suffering in ur husbands house. Your husband calling u fish brain because 4m ur responds its obvious you are DULL.
That's my gul,welcome back jor . I know it's hard but just ignore them . Lol Naija police o,sorry about that.
Go to bed and forget about faceless local champs on this blog.This blog is full of them,my first day here and I am so pissed.you are cute and hot so forget about haters dear
Kiky, u were not rude. I like your honesty. A lot of the faceless people on ds blog are bullies. Good on you for standing up for yourself.
Ahdaisy Jayde, I like d way Ʊ respond wen ever ur name is mentioned…lolx….seems ur ask 4 urself under anonymous then reply…..hehehe
PS.
Am not a hater..
Just an observer…..
Learnt a lot from this post…
Thank you poster
My dear, get a car for urself if dts wt u really wnt. But i'll advise dt u invest ur money. From d luk of tinz, i guess ur satisfied wt ur job bt gettin multiple streams of income would nt b a bad idea if u ask me.
Thanks so so much 4 all the advises I have received here….We are all indeed a big family. Thanks Eya for posting this. May God bless u all abundantly and meet your various needs.
Thanks
My mum too says that u shld be engaged/married before u own a car, she said dt no man will stop ur car when he wants to toast u.jz pray abt it. Ask God for guidiance about it.
@ anons 5:49 pm na small pikin dey worry you, yes it work for you but no it doesn't for every one,i was so tempted to do that because i work late, can you believe it was my neighbor a guy i admire alot that told me not to try it,at first when my parents said it i felt bad and told them not to complain when i come in late but after that guy most of my male friends said it its being for the better,know that a guy with the ride doesn't make him any special from the one aspiring, listen to your parents ooooo
I met my husband while driving, he followed me till i alighted from the car. So my dear, getting a car might even drive u closer to your husband. Enjoy ur ride when u finally get it, Cheers
all these naija mentality. so if shes driving guys wont ask her out? what kinda guys? car-less guys or what? my dear please get the car- live ur life. Ur own husband will find u at the right time.
My dear pls go ahead and get a car. I got one for myself at 25, a brand new car and i wasnt even dating then. By the next year i met my husband. Its a mentality thing with some guys. Pls if its for the right reason like easing the stress of going to work then go ahead. U not having a car may make u end up with a guy who feels u deserve only his used cars.
I know this post is past due….
I don't think there is anything wrong with buying a car for yourself. I bought a house and a car before I got married without thinking twice (but then again, I live in America). When I met my wonderful husband , he loved how humble I was and married me for my personality not for what I had ( he wasn't at all concerned with any of that). He was also doing well for himself so he wasn't at all intimidated. You don't have to buy anything fancy, just talk your dad into letting you buy a simple car that won't cause you to have too much attention if that's what your worried about.