My husband is a good man, he is trying his best. Before I got a job, we really managed like mad. Even though he could afford so much, we managed with so little. I’m not complaining, because it’s not easy and we survived.
Once
I got a job, he shifted some responsibilities to me including paying School fees for one while he pays for two. I don’t blame him, after all I have heard of some Nigerian families where it’s done 50, 50.
Where I need advice is in the area of cooking. I don’t really earn much. My monthly allowances helped me balance up but now he has stopped giving and says I’m earning a salary. This little salary goes into serving the family and before the end of the month, I can’t afford simple transportation fare.
What consumes the bulk of my little salary is feeding the family. An Idea occurred to me that since he eats the biggest share, I should start cooking two pots. That is cook the little good one I can afford for me and the kids when I get home (I close earlier), and make anything anyhow for him before he returns.
My thinking is that giving him tasteless meals might touch him to start dropping some money for me. I don’t know if doing this is wikid. Cooking large pots of meals with this little money is affecting me badly.
Please I want to know from the house if it’s OK to cook two different pots for the meantime and see if things will change. I am so confused.
Can I Cook Two Different Pots Of Meals?
Hello Aunty Eya, thank you for all the meals my family now enjoys. I never knew there could be variations with Nigerian meals. My name is ……….., I love wives connection and refresh the pages like mad. I need advice from the house cos am really being strained, it’s like the next minute everything would come down crashing on me.
Don't u tink cooking two pots n giving him tasteless food is overly dramatic? Morova as moni is d problem, u ll spend mor moni cookin 2 pots bcos its nt lyk u can cook n not giv him meat or fish so whts d need? Y nt xplain 2 him n try 2 mak him si reasons wit u? I luv d direct approach. Wen ur money runs out, tell him pomp and plain dat u nid moni 4 dis n dat. Also u shld learn 2 buy ur foodstuffs in bulk so it wld last a couple of months so u wld b buyin only d petty tins wen u wana cook. So u shld b takin moni 4 d bulk buyin once in a while. Dnt go n do d one dt he wld strt eatin frm one restaurant wher only God knws wetin dem dey wash put. Such incidents r scary. Be wise dear
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Save yourself some headache and simply have a discussion on finances with your hubby. No?
Talk to him about your minor finances and how it is weighing you down, you can't continue like this madam, for how long I mean?
IMO hour should either continue paying the last child tuition fee, while you take over the kitchen duties or vice versa. And pls if you are given an option take the child school fees and let him pay for the meals on the table.
Have a blessed family and act wisely.
**He should**
Well, you dont have to make 2different meals. You can cook the food anyhow and still eat with him. Make sure you eat in his presence and commend your cooking while at it (for instance, you could say sth like; 'honey you cant believe i used 200naira to make this sumptuous meal, ope you like it too?').
Which kain poor people talk be this one.back to sender
I don't think dats d best option, just use what little u have and cook what you can, talk 2 him, u said urself dat he's a good man,I'm sure he'll listen..God keep ur home.
Its a pity really! My dear don't u tink u doing that wil be so dramatic and wicked of you. #have u discussed this wit him?#, if u ve not den if u like serve him only water he won't stil reason it from the angle u want him to. Discus wit him wen he's in a relaxd mood, let him knw how its affecting u as his wife afterall if u were not working he must be taking care of u as his wife and responsibilty!. It is beta to speak out dan assume in ur mind dat he knows.
Seriously I never knew some couple share their kids sch fees though**
I hope Ʊ r not spendin al ur money on what Ʊ see on this blog…pls try sum n jump some o.
BeBe
He is damn stingy! What kind of man earns a lot and gives little? Who is he working for by the way, is it not primarily for his wife and kids?
Madam, sit him down and talk to him
I was in the same shoes as yours and took the following steps. I ate it, served him and also guests. You must have a strong mind to carry this out and you ahve managed like mad before, apply the same determination.
Don't use the same ingredients you see in cookery books and blogs, because the food must look rich for public views, follow the steps only.
Tin-tomatoes replaced fresh tomatoes for stews, used dried grinded pepper for fresh pepper, and crayfish for taste.
Ewedu and okro replaced the rich soups.
Ice-fish and dried panla fish replaced chicken and meat.
Give boiled eggs to the children for better protein.
Lipton and cowbell milk replaced tea. Buy milo and peak milk for the children and keep it out of sight.Pour them into a colored plastic containers.
Amala and garri for swallow.
Beans for the weekends or moin-moin with pap or garri, not custard.
Yam pottage or yam and efo fried in palm oil and crayfish. No fried eggs, no sardines, no corned beef.
efo should be a used frequently in all your meals for vitamins.
You should be persistent,when he asks why, you then present your case quietly. Do not quarrel. Best of luck.
My dear, couples dey wey dey share kids fees o..
Dear Postor,
I think u need to have a heart to heart talk with him.. Tell him u don't think u can cope with feeding the family. Haba. Even dat school fees sef, but since u don agree for dat one sha, no problem.. But just tell him u can't cope with feeding d family, explain to him how you struggle to get transport to work,cause at this rate,u go work for 30 yrs and not have any savings o. Nothing to show for it…. Anywayz, don't cook bad food,that's too much stress,infact,he can start eating out and all.. Tell him ni, tell him say your power no carry to dey feed the family,u are d wife not the husband..
If I were u sef, if by any chance get an increase in my salary,I no go tell am cause he fit add more responsibilities join d one wey u don get sef.. Trust Mama Ijebu now,u no fit spend my money anyhow..
Na sense u go use take do am o.. Remember say d bible talk say, be wise like d serpent and be Gentle like d dove..
gbam!
I don't like it when men dump responsibilities on their wives just cos they earn a salary. Its different if the woman is genuinely helping cos there is a need. But when a guy totally stops providing for the upkeep of the house, it seems to me he's not happy the wife is even working. Just do like the anonymous above says. It is well with you
Anon5:11 I totally agree with u dear, dear poster manage d little money you have, don't cook extravagant meals oo. Explain to ur hubby and use wisdom okay! Pray about it bcos as it stands now you can't have any saving, not to talk of money for shopping n lil things.