Hello Eya and friends on wives connection. My wife and I went on a short break to Dubai which is supposed to be like our honeymoon since we’ve never had one after two years of marriage. I wasn’t meant to be going but due to some unforeseen circumstances and the decision to make it our long forgotten honeymoon, I ended up going with her, she w’d have gone alone if I didn’t work out things fast enough in my office. At the last minute before take off to the airport, the idea was for my wife to see my younger sister and meet up with a male Doctor friend and get my sister to help him out on some things. Anyway when we got there, I couldn’t connect wifi so to contact Naija and do a few things Online, I used my wife’s phone and then came across a message from a few days earlier from the Male Doctor friend, it said… where are you? my wife replied: Only landed on Friday.
He replied oh g**** I had Viagra and I thought you were gonna meet me up.
So, I showed my wife that I had seen it and she said that the Doctor talks like that to everyone. I wasn’t happy so i texted him from my wife’s phone saying that I wasn’t happy. Ok, we got through that, then, a week later i
looked on her phone again I don’t make a habit of this but just had to check again. Below is what my wife had texted the Male Doctor reporting our misunderstanding while at Dubai:
She says “It was a difficult time for me in Dubai! The first couple of days were horrendous!! T was looking through my phone! He got all paranoid, he does not understand our friendship at all!! However, we managed to talk things through, a trip that was supposed to be fun filled turned out into fighting demons! Things have been much better since. So I want to apologise to you! & also thank you, it was all part of the journey I believe. Who knows what the future holds. You were right last night, we do have to trudge through masses of shit before we get to a better place, I firmly believe that I am undergoing a massive transformation. Everything will turn out the way it is meant to be. For now I am leaving things firmly in the hands of God! I will get there too!! Look after yourself and make a difference”
I felt like beating the hell out of my wife, but held myself before I’m tagged abusive husband. I asked her why she had apologised when really he should apologize to me. I thought she wouldn’t contact him again after spoiling our Dubai holiday, I never in my wildest imagination thought she will keep the conversation going with him. Someone please help me think straight. Am I over reacting?
I don't trust your smart wife.
Billie Jean
Thank you! Poster, that woman will sell you before you say Jack.
@ Poster, you are too slow for my liking. Spray her with some preggers juice let her get busy with a baby and stop being cunning.
Lol @ spray her with sone preggers juice.
From the message, I think your wife is not happy in her marriage to you. It's like she just doesn't want to divorce you but keep bearing whatever comes while doing her own thing. I think you should look for ways to trash things out, hear her side (and please make sure it's truthful) then decide the way forward. Once a woman's heart is not with a man anymore, nothing can bring it back unless she wants it to work. I also personally think that she never wanted you to travel with her to Dubai in the first place because why was the doctor telling her he had a viagra?
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You are not overreacting some of us just have those kind of spouses, something similar happened to me a few days ago. After expressing my disgust about hubby giving a single lady audience to discuss his body part down there and getting into his conversation to let the chick know he is married incase she didn't. I suddenly realised they still talk…I died inside but I will serve revenge cold when he least expects it.
lol. Daughters of Eve acting like their mom. Your wife had plans to divert, go meet up with the Doctor but your last minute decision to travel with her. If you didn't go, shell be somewhere shacking the Doctor. Your presence made her a bit unhappy. She and the Doctor sitting in the tree, KISSING…………..
Your wife has connected emotionally with d doc and it's a dangerous thing.u need 2 sit with her,go back to where u started,look @ wedding photos 2geda.encourage her 2 b as open as possible.remind her about all d things u lik about her n encourage her 2 do same then focus on dis issue with d doc.tell her to pour out her heart to u.ask her what she feels d problem b/w both of you is.make a serious effort to reach her.after that hold her hands n pray against any stumbling block in form of a 3rd party against your marriage.infact mention d prayer point let her say d prayer herself,you both answer amen! From whatever she says is the problem,ul hav a clue on what area of ur marriage to work on.pray together daily.its well.
I don't know the genesis of the story but ur wife is shameless…people disregard marriage this days…its so wrong to commit adultery no matter the excuse…ifymcqueens
Poster, I'm just wondering what had been going through your mind from the moment u saw the text messages…, where/how did ur wife know this doctor?, had ur wife traveled alone before?, what does she do?, what was ur sister trying to help out with? Is the doctor married/single?, … Plenty questions.
Irrespective of what had happened before – u need to fight to get ur wife back. How?
1. If I were u, I will visit the doctor and warn him to stay clear from my wife & let him know that I am willing to go any length to protect my marriage – I fit break somebody head!
2. Seems ur work was priority before ur marriage… Try strike a balance & make urself more available.
3. Like someone said previously, find work to keep her busy. She seem to have too much time @ her disposal.
Brother, take charge of your marriage. The man's #1 responsibility is to PROTECT his wife – don't let her be vulnerable!
I read other people's comments, esp those that are from ladies. I can tell u that women are very sentimental about issues like this and would advise that you take things 'easy'.
Bros, this situation does not require being soft – be the man & take charge. A child (in this case ur wife) left to himself brings shame!
Thank you @anonymous you nailed it.
We should call a spade a spade so as to stop this downward slide of wives quashing around as if they missed something. How come we learn only the bad things from the oyinbo ppl. This is not a case of suspect or she is getting too close. She has actually been ridding a Viagra enhanced horse whip. Well, I am a Christian, however for a married woman of just two years r=to have the bravery of such text messages and probably phone calls with her husband in tow.. and on so called honeymoon in Dubai…..chai this marriage is done. We are Africans, educated, exposed…..but what do we leave for the generation coming up. I think we should start checking this now.
I think of all the responses, @Anonymous's own is the best. Sometimes husbands do not realise that just because you are married does not mean you should stop paying attention to your wife. She is most likely disconnected from you emotionally. You need to go back and check yourself, I am sure before all of this started she must have cried out for attention and you did not give it to her, you probably didnt do it on purpose but these things happen. Mr Poster woo your wife again, tell her she is beautiful etc. I remember i bumped into an old flame a few weeks ago and we greeted each other. Then I got a text from him saying it was nice seeing me again and i still look as beautiful as the first time he saw me. It made me sad because my husband that I have been married to for almost 4 years, I cannot remember the last time he has ever said something like that to me…………. a woman feels like a woman when she knows she is desired. Bottom line is work on your marriage and pray (pray together as a couple)
Make sure u visit d doctor and warn d doctor!
From the second message from your wife to the doctor, its either she met with him 'last night" or deleted the message of 'last night' were the discussion refered to was made. You should change her sim card (thats if she nor know the man phone number for head o) then ask her what she feels about the marriage,if you dont treat her well, if she doesnt want you anymore or whatever she thinks the problem is. Make she nor go poison you one day rush you go the 'doctor' place to finish work. Some women are just terrible.
poster you are not serious, yes I repeat you are not serious. You wanted the doctor to apologize to you? instead of you to look for a way to thank him. Its obvious your wife is emotionally attached to him and from the text he is encouraging her to stay and walk thru the mess with you. You are lucky he is not encouraging her to leave you and from the sound of the text I don't think its physical but emotional. The sad part is that the emotional attachment if often more dangerous than the physical, please make your woman fall in love with you again.
you are blessed anon
Thank you Deborah, this is the best advice. From the message I can see that although the doctor is a flirt, he ment no immediate harm. Your wife apologised to him cos she knew his intentions and your reply to him may not have gone well with tge relationship btw them. You should woo ur wife back instead of thinking u were man enuff for not beating her up. If you dont, she will attach to another person in a smarter way.
What are you trying to say?Is okay for his confused wife to cheat right?
The most stupid advice ever.There is nothing good about cheating wife,and her husband should just move one.
its your advice that's stupid
*move on*
This is serious. I hope you guys resolve the issue as soon as possible.