Hello Ma, kindly help me post this. I need other people’s opinion to answer my cousin. We are very close, She is 16. I went over to their house for the weekend and she wanted to know when she can start dating. I told her 16 is still young, she says she is leaving Secondary School and as such should be seen and addressed as a young adult NOT child. That all her classmates have boyfriends
from the boys Secondary School close to her school, lol. Finally I convinced her 16 is too young and she wants to know if 17 is ok to date. I don’t know myself. At 17 I had something like that back then o. In secondary school my Senior prefect was my boyfriend though nothing happened like that. What should I tell her that’s appropriate for her age?
Why does she want to give herself headache by dating at this age? Tell her that she doesn't need a boyfriend now. Besides, isn't she getting enough love from parents, family and friends? Dating is for the mature mind and once a girl starts dating, her life is never the same because she starts thinking about things like ; 'is he cheating on me?' 'am I good enough?' Only matured people are supposed to date and she should wait till she's in the university at least because by then, she should have an idea of what she wants in a man. Right now, she wants to date because her friends are dating, so its basically peer pressure.
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This is not a case of knowing the right answer to give but how to present message that it will make the desired impact.
Managing teenagers requires extra caution – and u need to be very open, and more importantly truthful, with them. The best way is to engage her in a conversation. Find out her idea of a boy-friend & dating, what does she think her friends do with their boyfriends, what does she stand to gain & loss, etc. Listen to her and then tell her the truth – hopefully u know the truth yourself @Poster?
Where are the parents? Should they be involved?
Well. The truth is that many girls of that age are into relationships. In my own opinion she is still too young and immature for a relationship. Besides it would really be a big distraction for her as regards her studies. Because all her friends have boyfriends doesn't make it right. Your priority right now should be your education and every other thing would fall Into place later. Besides relationships shld nt be for the wrong reasons. A 17 yr old as far as am concerned isn't even emotionally ready for that.
The world is now somtin else,why wil a girl of 16 be tinking of bf at des stage instead of her to concentrate and tink of how she will gain admission into uni.afta secondary school,parents this is really a lesson for all: know d type of friends ur kids kep bcs it's either dey will change deir lives for good or bad. And no its not okay for her to date until she's 18 dts wat d worldly people say buh biblical I believe it's not evn rite to date until u re matured enough to get married,to hve a say in dt relationship and also to allow the word of God guide u accordly
Phew! This one is a bit complicated, coz no matter what you tell her, she already have what she wants in mind.
She needs to be guided properly, then I was having difficulty in mathematics and my dad advised me to get a girl that would help me in the subject. Lol but the girl that knows maths in my class wasn't so cute.
At 17 I was already in the university, so she needs to be guided on what boyfriend should mean to her at that age.
good she's even seeking for permission.
. ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA
Exactly I go with Aunt Adaeze. Let her wait till she get to university.
At 17, hell YES! you can date but if you get knocked down with another human growing in you, that's your cuppa tea.
I think she is a good kid or rather "young adult" to have asked you. It also shows she has some level of confidence in you to have brought up that topic so I believe whatever you tell her, she could work with having changed from 16 to 17. Tell her what the implications are, how it can turn her life around encourage her to wait until she is matured.Assure her she can always talk to you.It is very good when kids know they can talk to adults about their concern (maybe she cant talk to her mum about that for some reasons)From time to time ask her questions to see how she feels about this topic.If for any reason she keeps talking about it and wants to date, tell her to bring the boy ( this is to prevent any secret dealings) talk to the boy and let him know they are too young for that. Sound the consequences again and again into their ears.I am sure it will work better when thry both know that dating is not just for fun, the unexpected can happen.
Yeah, she can. She only need to be cautious.