Hi Aunty Eya, I am in a relationship, we are talking marriage but I’m not sure we are really compatible. I thought of sharing our traits with WC readers to see how others feel about us as a couple.
- No one has ever told me they envy our relationship, we are just there. People don’t compliment us with words like ” you two look good together” when we go out.
- When we visit his family, they don’t give me any attention like to sit and talk with me. Everyone suddenly disappears and before you know it, it’s just me and my fiance alone in the sitting room. His sisters don’t make any effort to hang out with me.
- He doesn’t remember my special days. For the three years we have been together, he says he loves me but is not like spoiling me with gifts even when I know he can afford them. I try my best to get him something good and lovely on his birthdays but all he does for me is get flowers.
- We are never interested in the same Television programme and I’m thinking, If we eventually get married, how do we cope with arguments over whose channel to watch?
- He doesn’t notice little details about me early enough, like the other day I came to see him with a completely new hairstyle dyed differently and he didn’t see it until I drew his attention.
- I think he hates to share his space cos when I visit and drop my things say shoes, later I realize they have been shifted to a different spot from where I kept them
There are other things that leave me thinking about our compatibility. Wish I can type everything here.
I will appreciate if your blog readers can help me point their bright torchlights into this relationship and say honestly whether they think my fiance and I are compatible or not. Please I need their suggestions and advice. Thank you Aunty Eya and fellow readers.
Babe, you two are not compatible. PERIOD.
bad belle
In my opinion oh, all of the things you just stated in your bullets are not a cause for compatibility issues.
Men and women do not like the same television programs, men do football, women do E! and all that girlie stuff. Even in your family, talk true, don't you guys fight for the remote control? So it is perfectly meant to be like that.
As for the sisters thing, what have you done to try to hang out with them? Whether they try to hang out with you or not has nothing to do with your compatibility with your man. They may be shy girls, they may think that you two need some space. If you want to hang out with them, then follow them to their rooms and try to gist with them.
He forgets your specials days, okay, so many 'compatible and loving husbands still do that'.
Your compatibility has nothing to do with what outsiders say o. Know that one now. Because outsiders are only judging from outward appearance not inward. So you can be a terrible pair and outsiders can be complimenting you. It means nothing.
Like I said, these things highlighted in your bullets are not really any reason for compatibility issues.
Men and women are two different types of people. So there are bound to be differences. What makes you guys compatible, is respecting those differences and living with them, not necessarily changing them. Okay? All the best!
Compatibility comes in where attraction has failed. Won't say both of U̶̲̥̅̊ r not compatible cos that's 4 U̶̲̥̅̊ to figure out. Both of U̶̲̥̅̊ need to have a sincere heart to heart discussion where U̶̲̥̅̊ can pour out u̶̲̥̅̊я̩̥̊ mind to him n let him know what's going on in u̶̲̥̅̊я̩̥̊ head. That way, U̶̲̥̅̊ should b able to get u̶̲̥̅̊я̩̥̊ answer. Goodluck
You r not compatible, and he's not really into you, and. It's obvious the family doesn't like you, if he's not crazy about you now, is it after the wear and tear of bearing kids that he would? Please shine your eyes and save yourself the agony of tears in the future. Anyway on a lighter mood, the struggling of TV remote and which channel to watch is common with almost every couple.
Exactly
Abt not getting u gifts wen he can afford them, he just might be a stingy person. Abt his sisters leaving u in d siting I ll do same not because I hate u but because I may feel we won't v any gist cos I am not a social person.it maybe same wit them. talk abt all this ish wit him b4 making conclusions
My thoughts as well, and pple telling you u guys look good together shouldn't matter
What if u're told that u both aint compatible?
The points u raised are not weighty enough,u both have come a long way. I guess these are issues u nees to seat down and discuss with him. To me I see him as not being that romantic.
Goodluck dear.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
The problem i think you guys are having is COMMUNICATION… If you feel somethings aren't working right, talk it out #myopinion
My dear I think when it comes to marriage u don't entertain doubts at all. If u feel confused or u dnt have peace of mind abt settling down wit ur guy then I think u really need to take tins slow.I would advice u pray n fast n wait on God for guidance cos wen God leads u to the right person u will have dat convinction dat he is d one. Secondly pls dnt let other peoples opinion count in ur relationship like u mentioned abt nt gettin compliments from people around u!!It doesn't add any value to ur relationship.u also need to overlook petty things in ur relationship such as he givin u flowers on ur birthday, at least he gave u something n how many men today step out to buy their ladies flowers?maybe Dat ur friend got a car or an expensive gift frm hubby doesn't mean ur guy must give u same. Like I said earlier if u dnt have d conviction dat u want to spend d rest of ur life wit him then no need to go into marriage yet.Just wait on God.
I think sometimes we confuse similarity with compatibility. Some of the issues you raised sound petty to me. That his siblings dnt relate with you well, is THEIR issue, it really has nothing to do with ur guy. That he doesn't spoil you with gifts, well, erm…me no like stingy guys. But does he give you money at all? Even if not gifts.
About ur hair, most guys hardly notice…except the gay ones….lol
About sharing of space, hm, if you stay with my husband, you'll strangle him! Total neat freak…almost OCD.
About looking good together… Who cares? To me, Will Smith and Jada, JayZ and Beyonce, Fela and Tara Durotoye, and a host of others, do not LOOK good together, but years have past and they are still going strong…so forget that thing. Most times we say people look good together cos they are both pretty people not because we SEE compatibility.
I advise you take all our advice on previous posts about choosing a life partner. PRAY and listen to God.
*passed
You have succeeded in saying nothing particularly grief about this guy, you only pointed out his flaws and which you also have your.
What if this guy comes here also to say stuff about you like:
1. You don't watch football and he's scared you won't allow him watch his games on saturday.
2. You are rough and you always untidy his room.
3. You complain too much
4. You don't get well with his sisters and they all avoid you.
And so on and forth…
The truth is that, learn to understand ppl must have flaws, learn to help them change some If you can, know that no one was born perfect and no one is a replica of the other by all standard.
Teach this young man what is missing and he'll take it up from there!
Nuff'Said!
Correct!
Nuff'Said! I agree sir.
Small pikin with plenty sense!
Seconded
Lmao @small pikin… U sure say dis guy no go fit born u sha? *runs away*
U just spoken like a wise person Jay. @poster hope u heard?.
I'm sorry poster, but I burst into laughter readn ur post. I think u takin ur relationship comparing wit what u see with others.Its wrong.
Who told u "thoes who look good togeda" don't hav issues? Or that
there aren't "compactible" couples who fight for the remote.
He likes his space, that's cos he is tidy.. While dating my husband I realised he was way tidy conscious than I was, I had to learn from him n step up my game.
U haven't pointed any serious fault in ds ur guy. If he Loves n respects u,that's all u need.
Nna meen,the differences dikwa too much.plus many other ones u couldn't type.hian!odikwa very risky.both of you need some form of connection.I guess..all this big fat loop holes before marriage that we tend to ignore,hmmm,okay o.
Nice one Ace!
Hehehehehe @Ada, so my bf is gay for always noticing my new hair abi, even if its an old one n i did sometin to it he will still notice. In fact he looses my hair for me, weavon, braids anyone…hehehehehe choi i need to start looking at him well oooo
@ Chiomz, She said "most guys" and not all, so pls don't start what u cant finish oh.
Lol@ Shalom, I'm sure she is joking o… Hm…a gay partner is not what any body will wish for. It is a slap on ones femininity.
@ Chiomz, one of my exes was like that. In fact he was choosing hairstyles for me and telling me how to 'pack' my hair….lol. Some straight guys take such tinz seriously….
Lol my man ALWAYS notices n no he's nt gay bt I also knows he's 1 in like 10guys.most guys dnt!so madam cancel dat1 4rm ur list of worries,I go along with bona.ur man aint romantic,simple.I remind my father of my bday every year,dats 2show u how nonchalant men can b.pls jus take it he has much2worry bout,always remind n tell him stuffs.I also agree with d person dat said communication,mayb u guys age grp is far apart.u nid2relax n talk with ur man.as 4channel things,dat1 must b happening in every home.lol me I don gbakamu 2watch ball n try2contribute sef but we've agreed den wen we marry we re gettin dualview or a pvr decorder so I can record my programs while he watchs his.4 sister issues,I get ur worry der.u'll av2b d1 2establish a relationship,get deir nos.call dem wen u don't go visiting,invite dem 4occasions.try2hang out with dem without ur boo bin involved.am sure dey re der thinking u re d uptight 1.in all,still call ur man tell him ur worries
Pls I av a question, can a guy love two women at the same time? I think my boyfriend has another girlfriend and he is trying to decide who he will marry. Help!!!! I don't know what to do or how to react.
Dear poster, what you need in a man is respect and love. For him to help you re-arrange your shoes and not talk you down to do it yourselve, is respect… He buys you flowers… Hmmm, that's romantic. If only I can get my man to buy me flowers! Girl I wld do anything to get that from him… FLOWERS! They are not easy to come by… We are in naija oo, you don't get flowers on the road side, like you get recharge cards and fast food… Babe that guy is romantic to the core! Start appreciating what you have, cos most pple don't ve it out there. For your information, you can't change him. So if you think you can't cope with his style, find your way… Let another lady enjoy his quality… Cos he is a guy with quality! Flowers ke! Hmmm, I really love flowers oo…
Dear poster, what you need in a man is respect and love. For him to help you re-arrange your shoes and not talk you down to do it yourselve, is respect… He buys you flowers… Hmmm, that's romantic. If only I can get my man to buy me flowers! Girl I wld do anything to get that from him… FLOWERS! They are not easy to come by… We are in naija oo, you don't get flowers on the road side, like you get recharge cards and fast food… Babe that guy is romantic to the core! Start appreciating what you have, cos most pple don't ve it out there. For your information, you can't change him. So if you think you can't cope with his style, find your way… Let another lady enjoy his quality… Cos he is a guy with quality! Flowers ke! Hmmm, I really love flowers oo…