Hello Aunty Eya, how are you doing? Please i need help frm WCM, am married with Kids, have been having issues with Hubby these past years but i thank almighty God for how things are going now, but there is something that worries me, I DONT KNOW IF AM IN LOVE with hubby. I want to think of him and feel something maybe butterflies or goose pimples rather i feel nothing, or am i wrong with what am saying or is it that i still feel hurt with past
issues?
it’s so confusing and I don’t know what to do about it. Only if the true meaning of love can be well explained so that i know what to do or even fall in love with him again. Thanks for everything so far…
issues?
it’s so confusing and I don’t know what to do about it. Only if the true meaning of love can be well explained so that i know what to do or even fall in love with him again. Thanks for everything so far…
1. We're you in love with him or you loved him?
2. Are you finding it difficult to get over the past hurtful memories (forgiveness) and move on with the new chapter in your marriage?
When you think of him, what comes through your mind?
After giving yourself these answers then u have the puzzle solved. My advice would be try and rekindle whatever you had for him in the past. Open your heart, forgive your hubby and enjoy your marriage.
Orisirisi, there is nothing we won't see in this blog. Mbok, whether you love him or not you are in already. If butterfly no fly, work on ur marriage and learn to rekindle that which made you marry him in the first place. Abi you don de eye anoda man for outside?
Let no one deceive you. Every couple has a time when s/he falls in and out of love. Sometimes you inwardly regret marrying your spouse sef but that time passes and you later start feeling something again. Butterflies don't remain there after long years and kids. They fly away to return later if at all.
Marriage comes with responsibilities that won't even give you much time to feed the butterflies. You have said for better for worse sweetheart. Stay there, butterfly or not. Oil most times dries in all of our marriages but that doesn't mean we run away. STAY PUT.
Mrs Dayo you cracked me up big time with 'butterflies fly away and return later if at all'. You are so right.
Marriage is not always lovey dovey as sometimes you ask yourself what on earth made you settle for your husband but that feeling will surely pass.
Try to forget past issues and sincerely forgive him then I'm pretty sure those feelings will return.
It is called making love for a reason, sometimes you have to make that love yourself, you make yourself love the one you have chosen. Love is a decision. You say he has hurt you in the past, has he changed for the better now? Then I say it may be time to truly forgive him.
My definition of love is from I Cor. 13 Read it daily, pray for forgiveness in your heart. Talk to your husband, make him a friend, make love to him. Open your heart. Do things for him, pray for him, smile when he is nice to the kids and to you, praise him, laugh at his jokes, and love him.
I'm saying all this o, but only if he is your husband, in the fullness of what that word means. He must be the one who cherishes and holds you up. He loves you back, and is the one who takes care of you and loves you and your children.
All the best.
You got married for a reason
Find those things in him again
and compliment him when he does good
Pray a lot too. God can restore your soul
@ Myne. So what happens if he does not love u in return? Where he uses every opportunity to let u know u mean nothing to him. He sees d 2 of u as 2 seperate persons, ur troubles are urs and urs alone but his is for both of u to share. Imagine taking out of d very little u have to buy him a val gift that u are sure he'll appreciate but on giving him he just drops it on d bed without opening. My mum thinks I have been charmed.
Go on ur kneels my love,God will surely answer you
divorce him if ur tired.what kind of story is this that ur wasting the wcm's time withon this precious day?or dont u have anything to do today of or day?visit hosp,orphanage etc.love koo,butterfly/goose pimples nee
she shuld kip loving him. Dats d key. GOD WIL HELP HER
Nuella u re being 2 harsh and taking it personal, Do u know d popster?then try 2 pretend as if u don't,meanwhile its not by force 2 read or comment on every post.Sammy
Nuella is nt a gd woman. I believe shes a single woman. Dnt mind her o poster. Kip loving and praying. U wil overcome
My dear poster, I hope you read this- like Myne rightly put, Love is a decision,sometimes, we'll wake up and wonder what made us ever decide to marry our husbands, men can be insensitive most of the time, I will suggest you sincerely forgive yourself and forgive your husband (talk to him and tell him you forgive him – no need reminding him the details of all the pains he brought you). Tell God about it too; with forgiveness, u'd be able to let go of the hurt and focus on the good things he'd ever done for u, even though the bads out weighs the joys, let go. Remember, u decided to love him, if u think you felt loved/love,feelings never last long.
Where most of us start getting it wrong is what our perception of love is. Because of books we've read, movies we've watched and some of the half-truths we hear, we have a mind set of what love should be, what it should feel like.
We start doing ourselves good when we let those perceptions go and start living in the real world. Butterflies and goose pimples are the feeling teenagers get when they think they are in love!
Dating, courtship and marriage are different ball games on their own. Myne is so right. Love is a decision. No single married woman can truthfully say she has never had issues with her husband but how we react to these issues and to our husbands after them is what makes our marriages blissful or a war zone. Forget butterflies babe. When u think of him, think of him as the father of ur kids, as the one u are walking down life's road with and as the God gave u to make ur life with. Even if its bad today, God can trun things around – as long as u arent being battered and abused in the marriage sha! Hang in there babe, and banish these thoughts. 'Cos its when thoughts like these come up that the devil finds an avenue to scatter! Good luck.
**Nice blog here! And i invite u ladies to check out http://www.wivesroundtable.net**
Hi Anon 9.19, You can ask him what the problem is. Choose a good time and pray that you can keep calm through the discussion. He alone can answer the question. But don't stop loving and showing him you care.
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likes 4 ur comment
dear sammy am not taking it personal rather am just being realistic and factual.yes its not by force to read or comment just like what u wld have done by ignoring me and advising the poster.
again dear anonymous,am not single.am married with 3 kids and i know what men are like and that is why i always advice women to be careful and weary of them esp those with funny characters and attitude.does that make me a bad woman?calling spade a spade?pls am a gd woman
ok dear. Am sry my dear nuella
ok dear apology accepted.no hard feelings.things women suffer in the hands of men<on God can save us from them.thats y i always try to encourage women by tellin them the bitter truth