Hi Aunt Eya and friends of wives connection blog,
I have a friend who is going through hard time. He just discovered that the three kids he has been raising are fathered by other men.He has lost hope. He does not know what to do. Whether to divorce his wife or stay. He came to me for advises but i am lost and i do not know what to tell him.
he loves his kids and in case of divorce should he fight for them? Should he divorce and remarry? should he stay?
what do you guys think about the whole situation? I asked him to give me some time to think. It’s urgent please.
It's published on the blog. My heart goes out to your friend. May the Almighty himself direct and help him. Try your best to reply to comments please. You need to find out from your friend if he had challenges impregnating his wife or she just chose to play-away- match for all three kids. These innocent kids, are they for three different fathers or just one man? His wife should know.
Its really a difficult situation because he has bonded with those kids as his and he is the one they also know as their father. Fighting for them is good but what if their biological father shows up? If the other man is not aware of the paternity issue, he should let them be but honestly trust and security have been totally destroyed. The truth still remains that the man has no children of his own yet and the woman may use it against him by taking the kids away someday. Hmmmmmm really complicated but some women sha.
Thanks aunty Eya – the same thing came to my mind… There is high likelihood your friend cannot father a child. A doctor friend shared a similar story with me and in this case, the wife believes she's making her hubby live long by keeping it a secret while making the man believe all is well with him.
Irrespective of the peculiarities of this situation, the children should be loved & cared for. The man & wife should talk; if possible with no outside interference.
OMG dis a hard one mehn. Hmmmm am speechless but yet what were her reason for d run away match? Is it that he is not always available? 3 kids fa. Mehn dis heart breaking but she ( wife) needs to answer plenty questions. As for the man let him not take action yet bcos I can imagine how bitter he ll b feeling now. Let him be calm first and take action gradually. But the fact is living with that woman hmmmm I see it impossible except otherwise. But my candid advice is he can start all over again no time is too late. Pick up his pieces and start again. As for the woman ( wife) when she answer the necessary questions we will know what next. As for now no judgment is passed on her.
For the betrayal and deception, that womn doesn't deserve you man. Kick her ass. Divorce her now.
Send the jezebel away with her bastards.
Billie Jean
She might use this against you in future, we woman are terrible. Consult your lawyer and adopt those kids legally. They are your children and know no other father. If you know that you cannot father children, better don't make noise about this matter. There are families like yours out there and the wife just tried her best to make her husband happy and to save her marriage. After all people go into orphanages to adopt kids they don't know. You are advantaged here. Adopt them and have everything in pepper without letting them know. The only two people who should know about this adoption? Your lawyer, your wife and you.
My 2 cents.
If you are really sure that you can impregnate a woman, you may divorce her. If not, sort things out. Don't wash you dirty linen in public.
Thank you all for your comments.I am the poster who asked for my friend.i cannot reach him and he did not show up to work today.I would have asked him whether he is able to have kids of his own.But i will pass all your comments to him and maybe introduce him to this blog.
And the kids are fathered by three different men!!!!!!!!
Aunty Eya you are a star for posting my story and so are all of you on the blog for the comments.
Thank you
If you know where he lives, please check up on him.
If both are truely married traditionally, locally, or in church, the man does not need any adoption, the children are totally his and no one can claim them except if both parents are not properly married.
My thoughts exactly aunty Eya. He probably cannot father a child. She tried to cover up this 'supposed' shame. All trust is completely broken.
Wait a min, I do not support what the woman did in any way. Oga how long did your friend stay without a child? How did his family treat the lady? How did he treat her? Some times what ladies go thru makes them do things that are crazy