AnonymousOctober7, 2013 at 12:25 PM
Please I want to know if taking care of sicklers is demanding even in the western world. All the ladies I get attracted to for marriange are AS like me and I feel really frustrated as I should be settled down since 8 years now.
The recent one happened just last week when
she went for medical test and the result came out AS. I plan to relocate to the US in six months time and planned marrying her to move with me. It’s really frustrating. Is there no hope for sickle cell kids in the US too?
The US is not like our backward Nigeria my dear. Everything works in that system. They research and make discoveries like no man's business. Managing Sickle cell shouldn't be a problem there at all. Their healthcare system is superb!!!
Hi,
I'm in the same boat as you. I'm a lady, i'm AS and all the Men i've ever been attracted to are also AS. What i have done is to take time to research my options which i would suggest you do as well. There's gene selection which can be done but conception has to be by IVF. Thats one of the many options which are now available to us. The most important part is that the other party must be totally willing to go the whole way with you because this decisions are not to be taken lightly. My advice to you is that you research research and research and above all take it to God in prayer. All the best on your journey.
God Bless
you can check this link.
http://ivfbabiesnigeria.blogspot.com/2009/10/fertility-technique-selects-healthier.html
All the best
Really??? So people do not die due to medical complications in the US?
AS vs AS could be really challenging – you need to understand and know how to manage the conception – no getting pregnant anyhow; it must be controlled.
If you decide to go ahead, then be ready to make sacrifices.
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From M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ own point of view is like bringing those children in the world to experience so much pains. If Ʊ ever nurse a SS pt then Ʊ ll not even go into thE relAtionship. I know there is a test they do outside the country to detect if is SS in utero once it is they ll terminate the preg. Tell me hw many times do Ʊ want to terminate the preg before Ʊ get wat Ʊ want. It might sound some hw but the truth is, it does nt really worth the pains we infliite on this children. I lost M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ precious brother the time I never knew he could die. I'm equally AS but when I wanted to get married I passed thru such too but was determined never to go into such relationship cos of wat hav seen in M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ life. Bros it does nt really worth it God ll locate Ʊ wit ur bone that ll not pose any probs to Ʊ. All the very best.
Go to sinner-gogue… Him go cure the SS after childbirth!
Thank me now!
That is not true Maria!
Backwards or not, sickle cell is sickle cell! IT KNOWS NO COUNTRY!
What is done abroad is elective elimination. If the fetus is SS, it would be advised to be terminated, that is why there is few SS abroad.
Can he foot the medical bill and special child care?
Medi-care has a limit it covers, and if the new obamacare is signed into law, can he afford it?
Surviving abroad takes it's toils on immigrants, then to compound with a child that might suffer crisis every now and then, it would take it's toil on the relationship.
Is it every-time 911 would be called? Or rushing to the emergency unit?
Please poster make a wise decision.
Be patient, Poster,be patient.
Please listen to people who have gone thru d trauma. AS SHOULD NT MARRY AS! Please be patient oh….
Abeg con marry me. I be AA
I visited a sickle cell child in the hospital in the Uk sometime and it was disheartening to see the pain this child always go through. U might be in love with the guy now but trust me your love won't be enough to withstand the stress of having a sickle cell child. Pls be reasonable and be patient to meet a new partner but if u decide to carry on with this decision; then adoption will be suitable for you guys. USA, UK , moon, Kafanchan, e no dey look country. Sickle cell is the same everywhere.
If u ask a person with SS if they wld marry AS they always say a big NO. They cannot imagine putting another human being through the pains they got thru. After suffering crisis and all there is still risk of infertility.
It is not easy to live with at all.
What i wld like u to do is to go speak to a person with SS then u wld knw exactly what u wld subject ur unborn kids too.
IVF is also quite expensive and is not successful always plus the process is quite stressful.
Abortion is not an option, God forbid that in marriage u wld soil ur hands with the blood of ur babies.
Dont put love ahead of reason.
Be patient.
Be patient my dear n may God c u 2ru(amen)
Abortion is not an option, IVF and adoption are ur only two options if you must marry an AS like you… Dnt forget u can have just AS kids as well… So see it from the other perfect side too! I wld rather marry an AS that I love so much and spend the rest of my life with her, than marry an AA that will make my life a living hell! An SS child is not an option though, but miserable life with AA kids is so not an option! If u've found love, go for it and God will see u thru.
Patsy
Never has it been told that it was easy coping with a sickler. Marriage on its own isn't a child's play talk more of a marriage saddled with an ailing kid taking up huge medical bills…quite frustrating. Young man, as much as asking you to be patient may not sound encouraging, you just have to keep your fingers crossed while searching for your own wife. Stay strong.
What about getting an AA surrogate mother your babies?
If you must marry an AS, the best option for you guys should be to get a surrogate to carry your babies.
Surrogate is not cheap o. If d egg of an AS woman and the sperm of an AS man jam, no matter who carries it the baby has a high possibilty of being SS.
Why go thru surrogacy wen u nd ur wife are very much fertile?
Why just into fire with ur eyes wide open??
You know if you have a baby, the actual chance of the baby getting the SS genotype is 25% . You also have a 50% chance is having an AS child and another 25% of having an AA child. So as you can see it's all a matter of chance. Marrying and AS doesn't automatically mean your child will have SS. If you are willing to take the risk and hope that you get either an AS or AA, then it's up to you. All the best
Sorry for the typos hope you get my point
Ace ur comment these days really piss me off.Respect ur age nd if u hv notin to offer just Shut Up.
Kai this Maria is really dumb. Is it that you just wish to diss Nigeria or you really haven't experienced other countries or you just don't understand what SS is all about?
@Patsy: its so sick how people just cheapen God's name. Isn't it that same God who gave man the wisdom to understand genotypes and so as to reduce the needless suffering of innocent children? Look, if an ss child is born the suffering of that child will take its toll on that love you said he has found.
@Anon 4.24 you have spoken well
Poster it is still very possible to meet an AA person that you will be happy with.
Dearie marry AA, prevention is better than cure
Dear Poster, I have a sibling that is SS and it has not been an easy journey. God has just been faithful. We live in the United States and yes there is better management of her crisis here but it does not not still change the genotype. My advice to you is do not marry AS, there are a lot of AA ladies out there. Just be patient. Do not put ur child through all that suffering.
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The thing with these figures though true is this. The 25% chance of having ss is for each conception. She could get pregnant 10 times and have10 as ss, or all as aa, or all as as or a mixture of all. Doesn't mean, if she has 4 kids, only 1 will be ss. For that child who is ss, damn the figures. It could be quite trying for the affected kid, his siblings and the couple. It's no funny thing. I'm also as and I've held out this long. By God's grace I'll be marrying my aa boo (and I couldn't have asked for a better man) in a few months time. Do keep ur cool. It's not worth the heartbreak
I have a frnd dat is ss,d father left d mum wen d headache was too much for him,I have another frnd dat two of is siblings are ss and wen one passed away he got angry with is father{hated is dad cos d dad was educated and is aware of d implications}and he didn't talk to d dad for yrs until dey sent for him dat d dad was on his sick bed.another young guy*ss*on my street passed away in may after so much suffering,d reason for my stories simply means it is not worth d headache,wait for God's choice for u,all d best.#sorry for d sad stories#
Run as fast as your legs can carry you. You can't bear to have your heart in your mouth all your life – not knowing if the next child will be SS andor when one carrier will pass away.
Since you are relocating abroad, then good for you!! Modern day medicine as made it possible for couples with the sickle cell trait to be able to have children without SSA.
DO your research, there's something called PGD (Pre-genetic diagnosis), they carefully select the embryos without SS and implant it into the mother( check online for more info.) , or IVF( the only down -side to IVF- is that you may have to terminate the pregnancy after a few months if the fetus has SSA) .
There are a lot of fertility clinics that do this in the U.S.
My advice to you: If you will be relocating, YES! go ahead and get married, but if you will be in Nigeria, don't get married, since fertility clinics haven't started doing PGD, unless you are considering an IVF (that's if your wife will be willing).
PGD= Pre-natal Genetic Diagnosis
Some hospitals in Nigeria offer pgd services eg Medical art centre, Nordica fertility centre, Georges. Google their address. Not too expensive anymore plus prices are dependent in certain factors.
U rily dnt wanna go thru d SS thingy bLiv. Me. N na wa. Wa 4 peo dt dnt knw der genotyp til its tym 2. Wed o. Luk 4 anoda. It myt nt b ezzy but it ll b worth it bcos raisin or losin an ss child, d luv u tink u hv wld die a natural death. Wen u meet new women, stylishly ask 4 der genotyp wen Gettin. 2 know dem. B4 u strt luving up. I'm AA bt I stil ask such qtns. Gudluck
Yawns…….
Last time I checked, we are still in a democracy!
my uncle and his wife were AS and still got married. They have 4 kids now and none is a sickler. That is their own. Me am a AS the 1st thing I can i asked my fiance when i met him is his gentotype, he thought i was being dramatic. Thankfully he is AA, i ensured i reconfirmed it after some time with lab testing. I no get power for nonsense in the name of love. In fact so many guys have dated on the first date am already stating my genotype, if u are as bye bye. Some are like you cant just throw me away because am AS we can still be friends now. And am like its impossible because the heart can be treacherous its very easy to fall in love with someone your brain tells you you cannot have. I no fit nurse heart break or go and do one stupid thing because of love. Mtschewww. @ poster na wah for you the 1st time you go on a date with a lady you are interested bring up the topic codedly Me I start with saying how are hardly get malaria due to my genotype. This is the 21st century most secondary schools and higher institutions do this testing so no one should be waiting until he or she is ready to get married before testing. It costs less than 2k.
Some centres in Nigeria have started pgd actually. However, whether in Nigeria or elsewhere, u have to be quite rich to afford pgd + ivf. No, health insurance does not cover those procedures even for citizens. The other option is to have natural conception, then do prenatal diagnosis to determine if d child is ss or not. Also expensive. Plus, you have to have the moral stamina to abort your children if they turn out to be ss. Your call bro. Apply wisdom into this
my uncle and his wife were AS and still got married. They have 4 kids now and none is a sickler.they were about to get married before they knew. My uncle was ready to back out but the wife said lie lie o. That is their own. Me am a AS the 1st thing I can i asked my fiance when i met him is his gentotype, he thought i was being dramatic. Thankfully he is AA, i ensured i reconfirmed it after some time with lab testing. I no get power for nonsense in the name of love. In fact so many guys have dated on the first date am already stating my genotype, if u are as bye bye. Some are like you cant just throw me away because am AS we can still be friends now. And am like its impossible because the heart can be treacherous its very easy to fall in love with someone your brain tells you you cannot have. I no fit nurse heart break or go and do one stupid thing because of love. Mtschewww. @ poster na wah for you the 1st time you go on a date with a lady you are interested bring up the topic codedly Me I start with saying how are hardly get malaria due to my genotype. This is the 21st century most secondary schools and higher institutions do this testing so no one should be waiting until he or she is ready to get married before testing. It costs less than 2k.
Pigd = preimplantation genetic diagnosis. It's d one u do with if, such that any ss embryo is discarded and not transferred to the mother's womb. Pgd, prenatal genetic diagnosis however is done during pregnancy, whether naturally conceived or with ivf where pigd was not done. Both are expensive procedures. Poster, go ahead, if you got the money. Don't forget too, that ivf has only 18 to 25% success rate per cycle.
Forgive my pessimsm. I'm just worried cos ppl are giving the impression that once you go abroad, the challenges are easier. They are not. Do take your time though and browse on the internet your options (from credible sources), how readily available, affordable they are. Good luck
While growing up,I know a family dat we are so closed , they have 5 kids, d 1st born (d only male) and d 3rd born were ss, they were always in d hospital, the boy later die, d death of d girl was so shocking. She had d usual crises and was rushed to d hospital, they were about to be discharged on d third day, when her system jst suddenly changed, and dat was it, within 5 mins, of d crises she passed on. Dat was d most shocking death I've eva seen(#sobbing#) . Pls dear poster be patient, it is worth waiting.
Those advising to discard embroyos and babies thru testing shld advise u how they wld advise their own brother.
A young marriage shld ve a solid foundation, why begin on shaky grnd?
A young couple also need to get their finaces together for rainy days .
Why spend the first yrs on expensive avoidable tests that are not even 100 %?
I read in one magazine about a couple who aborted 4 foetuses cos they were SS, i dont know how that happened but at the end the pressure was too much nd d'couple split.
Love in marraige cannot withstand all as pple say.
Pls dont sentence urself to yrs of uncertainty and unhappiness.
I am telling u what i wld tell my brother.
The woman God has for u wld come cos God does not support abortion.
Remain blessed.
@anon 11:58 God bless u jare
Thank u Nife
Amen o.
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You are right Ace!!!!!!!!
Sorry, you are wrong Ace.
When i see what parents go through when their child is sick and on admission, i pity them, then not to talk of a child that has SSA! Poster, the ball is in your court! None of us here would help you in time of your challenges, we can only say sorry, it is well, blah, blah, blah, consoling words.
Love? Oh please! The word is over-exaggerated and abused by people! Many mistake lust for love! Infatuation for love! If not, the divorce and infidelity rate would not be on the increase and there would not be so much violence among people! With what i see among this generation, beauty, money and explosive sex determines love!
Bet, I think you are dumber
please please please!!!! i hope you are patient and you will get an AA, i am an AS and i use to tell people then that god made me AS so i dont get confused when trying to choose a life partner therefore when i meet an AS, i just know he is not for me and yes i ended up with a wonderful AA. personally i have experienced the trauma of SS and if i have to talk about all of them here, people would just start crying after reading…Please take your time and you will get your PERFECT FIT
Pls pray abt dis.i beliv God wil catapot u to d right woman.marriage isn't a do or die affair.nor marry o!except u want ur kids to suffer.d good lord bless you nd grant u wisdom
They have said it all, nothing much to add. When I was much younger, I remember a family who I alwys felt they were wierd, this is bcos of the way the 3 kids looks, thin legs, slightly bloated tommy, I grew up and realised they were sicklers. They were alwys sick and missed out on sch so they kept repeating.
Dear poster, forget tthe statistics ppl paste 4 u here, when u actually marry an AS and the kids starts comin, it can either be a miracle that they r all safe or a disaster that most r sick!
Bearin the burden of a sickler might seem easy but that child will suffer all the time, wen its cold, their joints hurts cos the blood doesn't flow easily cos of the sickle-shape of their blood cells, so they clog the joints and swell. The crisis is unimaginable, u need to see to understand.
I'm so sorry for ur luck in findin a wife so far, one of my besties is an AS and it pains me wen she always tries to hook me up wit her suitors and wen I ask why she doesn't want them she tells me they are all AS. I feel bad for her and ppl like you all over the world. I pray you find true love. Amen
I have a friend who's As, she insists on marrying her As boo. Their wedding is in December, all advice to them have fallen on deaf ears because a pastor they met gave them his approval. According to the Pastor, they are meant to marry, so we all are joining them in prayers now. I stopped talking to them when they felt I was a hindrance oo and started binding and casting whoever says they shouldn't marry.
I and my husband want to do the IVF thingy, but we were told the kids borne do not live past the age of 40….so sad.
I honestly think someone has hacked Ace's account…..my 2cents.
Cos I can't imagine sum1 I had always looked 4ward 2 reading from can go this low….or maybe he is in his lowest point……I will keep praying 4 him sha…….
Why the false statistics? IVF has higher success rates than that.
BeBe love, which horrible liar told you that. Very untrue. There's no difference between an IVF baby and a regular baby. When was the first IVF even done sef? I'm not sure the first pikin don reach 40.
Not all stories are bad, my parents are both AS, they have five of us. We have three AS and two AA. So when I met my husband and we were both AS, I wanted to backdown but we did our research well and decided no SS, whatsoever. Luckily our three kids are all normal, even if we did chorionic villus sampling for each pregnancy.
8 years of waiting? Wow. IVF+PGD is a good option and it wil avoid the therapeutic abortion that you described. Expensive but feasible. That's the option that the caucasians use for their own kind of disease such as cystic fibrosis, tay sach disease etc which is autosomal recessive just like sickle cell disease.
my people perish because they lack knowledge. We shd look for solutions to the problem. God's will is not limited by Genotypic incompatibility. The major issue is to take necessary steps to avoid sickle cell children.
You don't have to stop talking to them. They are adults. The decision is ultimately theirs to take. I think what the focus should be is to explore all options to avoid having SS children because its seems that you've already assumed that they will surely have SS children. That's not true. If they are both willing to go through the stress of avoiding ss children, why not? There is more to marriage than genotype issues in my opinion.
Which of the researches did u do plss?
It's your choice to make. But I want to tell you that abortion is out of the option.
i am SS and all ill tell u guys is that for an SS all i want is to be with someone who loves you enough to understand my unique way of life, someone who will see life from my point of view, from experience ill tell you only love can make such a person, and they seldom come as AA, so after a life time of pain IVF makes me feel like there's still hope for me… cause God doesn't discriminate between Genotype he always gives you someone who will love and understand you regardless of the persons genotype, so most of you guys wondering why you keep falling for AS… please stop and find a solution that is best suited for you.
This is 2016 and there is NOW a solution for AS-AS couple that doesn't involve abortion or surrogate etc. It is only a bit costly.
The Name of that solution is PGD (preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis). You can google it and read about it.
I don't live in Nigeria but I heard this procedure is now available in Nigeria.
My advice is, if the couple are rich or can save up some money in few months to years to afford this procedure, then go ahead.
Enough of all these, AS-AS can't marry thing. They can NOW marry but only for the rich or middle-class. In few decades to come, I believe the cost of the procedure will reduce due to competition.
I am AS and I can marry an AS guy who is madly in love with me and willing to go through PGD. Money is not an issue.
Please our people let's get ourselves enlightened and current with technological advancement in medicine.
If you are in love and going through this dilemma and want to know more about PGD, message me or something.
Hello, please I would love to know as me and my partner are both AS. Although he had once mentioned the PGD but am yet to get my head around it. abortion isn't an option for me.
I would really love to know please. As I and my partner are going through same and breaking up now is so devastating for us, although he has mentioned something about the PGD but am still yet to get my head around it. will be expecting your reply please, Thank you.
Please would want to know more about this pGD, that where I can do it here in Nigeria and how much it will cost thanks